- Who, What, When, Where, How and Why!?!?!?!
- Overseas trips = prostitution?!?!
- The Tale of the Tila Tree
- The Rotspot: Overflowing with Love (and Boobies)
- Throwback Tacky Tila: Edition 1
- Lawls and Ewwies
- The Gaga lie nobody believes
- Lamborghini LOLz
- LOL at you, Tila!
- Eddie Puts a Damper on Tila's Joy
- Lies, lies, LIES!
- Saturday Morning Cartoons!!!
- LIVE FROM SKANKAPALOOZA!!!
- BBC 1Xtra Interview
- All Hail the Virgin Mary!
- Aliens: Part Deux
- Dr. Drew's Wife Tweets
- Attention Juggalos!
- Sneaky little hogul.....
- Ohhhhh United Kingdom, we have a little surprise f...
- What's the little Twatwaffle up to these days?
- CR4: Will She or Won't She?
- Tila's "Neutral" Post
- The Stupidity of "Psychic Abilities"
- Happy 4th of July!!!
- Thoughts of the Gnome....
- Commemorating the 6 month anniversary of Casey Joh...
- Rotspot Army: Spreading the Love
- Perez and Tila, Sittin' in a Tree...
- ▼ July 2010 (30)
So back to the reason of why we're here - to make fun of the drug induced, money grubbing, hooker known as Tila "the skank" Tequila.
Now ... on with the show!!!!!!!!
Look if they can start selling Christmas decorations in July then by golly I can draw upon this most joyous of seasons to begin my tale of Tila.
Last night in a flurry of activity on the hogul's twitter and blog, similar to the trots, Tila grew tired of wandering around her condomansion, pulling at her hair, scratching at the invisible bugs under her skin, adjusting her moldy thong, and she decided to share her sexy with the world. Again. Well mostly just the people who care about her. I mean mostly those that are on twitter who care. I mean just those that don't laugh at her. Mostly just the kids who think talking to a star who talks back to you is some great shit. Mostly just 13 kids.
Anywho, Tila in her quest to engorge her "lady gardens" (thank you Daily Sport epically important interview) with the attention that she needs to stay alive, decided to post early modeling pictures for her mostly under-aged fan base. Well just a picture of her leaning against a wall and then one of her pushing her tits together. Well, really just a picture of her sticking her oiled ass up while tip-toed in hooker heels, and the one where she pushed her tits together and dared the camera to come closer with her goblin eyes.
Tila dug around her condomansion last night. Glass pipes and Red Bull cans were flung about in her tornadic search for the Holy Grail of hodom, several hard drives full of her nakedness. Once she put up the solar array and sequenced the hard drives with the Russian satellite she sucks antenna for in turn for a signal, she offered these most unclean images to her fans. Well to kids.
What incredible choices. I almost feel like I'm at the Furrs in hell. Now comes the tree bit. Much like Charlie Brown's Christmas tree, the hogul is an overlooked and pathetic thing. Not too many folks want to hang around her, shower her with presents, or make her the center of attention. Charlie Brown took it upon himself to make the lonely little tree the most special Christmas tree of all, and Tila has no Charlie Brown (though 9 head Bradshaw would make a great Charlie) to make her feel special and loved.
So she makes herself special and loved by forcing her sexuality onto the plates of her many followers. Lots of fans. Several kids.
Tila "I can't scratch my crabs hard enough" Tequila decided that pictures weren't enough; she needed more of her sexy out there to get her drained nether regions excited again. Also she needed the attention so that her heart that was five sizes too small would begin to beat and swell, and grow because of the because she's a succubus like that. And also because Tila really wants to tempt young people to be sexual with her and to be sexualized by her. More on that in another blog. First here's the enticing description of her video:
Hogul uploaded the "naughty" video shoot that contained among other things:
- Pulling down her bikini bottoms because her demon snatch needed to breathe
- Shoving her hand down into her undies to close the gateway to hell
- Sucking on her fingers like she had just eaten some Doritos
- Rubbing her crotch so the genie would come out and grant her three wishes
As you can see these totally were the best parts of the video. I took some roofies just so I could forget the rest. Isn't it wonderful when a full grown woman is so goddamn out of her mind that she feels compelled to put her tits and ass all over the places were she compliments, teases, recruits, and then exposes under-aged children to her lonely vies for attention? Somebody please make this offender stay at least 500 feet away from school zones.
I see now that Tila "Valtrex Prescription for Life" Tequila doesn't have anything but the glow of her laptop, the warmth of the computer on her legs, and the quiet of her condomansion with the crunchy dog piss stained carpet, and the never ending confusion of the glamor room sinks.
Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was never a predator, but that one up there is. Charlie Brown's Christmas tree became a beloved symbol of the triumph of the living over the fake. When Lucy picked up that big silver aluminum tree, Charlie chose the small, living one.
Up there trying her best to be something is a big 'ol fake aluminum Christmas tree. She can't be real with herself, she can't be real with other people, and she gets pleasure from being just a decoration.
I can see her now. She wipes the Doritos crumbs off her chest while eating in bed. She shakes away the carpal tunnel pain in her wrists from googling herself; her head dips down after lighting the pipe and she falls asleep between the bed and the wall, while far away at another computer a child reacts to Tila's video and pictures. And tomorrow that child will draw a picture of Tila with hearts and be the happiest they've been in a long, long, time when they get that tweet from the shark up there, to let them know they have been allowed into her army.
Hey guys! So how do you like our newest writer Seola? Personally I like her a lot, but only because she puts out.
So if you're reading this, it means we're unlocked! Yippee! Hooray! However, as I'm writing this we are STILL locked, so it's a little weird. Anyway, in an attempt to get us to unlock early (you cheeky bastards) we were inundated with love and admiration over on twitter. I wish I would have saved some of the tweets that abounded with #TeamRotSpot in them, because some of them were amazing. What I did save, however, were the awesome twitpics we got! So here you guys go, see if you can recognize your art!
This one made me lol for a long time. This was the first. Then came the boobies.
What's up with everyone on #TeamRotSpot having huge knockers? I dunno but I approve.
And, not to be outdone, my boyfriend got his sweater puppies out for a good time.
Merlin knows what's up. High five, Merlin.
Wow, Sade! That's as close to a celebrity endorsement as we'll ever get! I'LL TAKE IT!
Special thanks to @PKittyTrisha, @Neenahboo2, @jtkalcich, @LiquidHardCandy, @macmacmac1, @apocryphalyou, @jumsgirl and @HATERMEHHEH for their love! <3
Many of you have asked if you can get your own boobie pics posted here. Absolutely. Uncle Eddie will NEVER turn away pictures of your melons, DUH. So just tweet 'em, or email 'em to us if you don't have twitter, and I'll get that shit a-poppin'! (Tweeting them to me is the most sure-fire way for me to see them, don't forget to @EduardoRetardo)
Our mega-fan, and all around plethora of radness, Alabama Worley tweeted these to me today!
SHIT. YES. <3
The boobies just keep pouring in! Man, I sure love boobies. Seriously, keep sending them in and this will be the longest, boob-filled-est post ever.
These fabulous knockers come direct from my favorite wee Scottish lassie Claire Bear!
You know, if you want to send me boobie pictures that you don't want posted here...for Uncle Eddie's PERSONAL collection...I fully support that, too. Just sayin'.
This will be a weekly feature from your dearest, Seola Uno. I will dig deep into the chlamydia and push aside the warts to get to some old info, articles, etc. on our beloved cum dumpster. We’ll get to see her lies played out several years ago and show she had haters long before us and will long after. I will attempt to number the lies, so throughout our time together, we’ll get to celebrate each and every driveling, winding, cheesy lie and you get to count up! We are going to start with one of the first tweets off her “officialtila” account with Twitter. Just for fun’s sake – let’s start where the Rotspot did.
Excuse me while I catch my breath. 485 days ago, or 69 weeks, or 16 months ago – someone tweeted her something that hurt our poor little Tila. This tweet proves relevant for one major reason. “Wtf are you on?” Ah hahahaha hahah roflcopterz. This coming from the skank who’s “on” dozens of unwitting guys and girls and drugs too! I can say that because Tila herself admitted it when she thought she was going to get some love from the Celeb Rehab folks. But here also lies an insult that many of us have not ticked off the list (black people, African Americans, men, pregnant women, “non ethnic”, etc.). It’s a not so clever blond reference!
Can’t keep betting when you’re broke, baby. You’ve gambled on trying to take out an NFL star (fail), gambled on several pregnancies (fail), faking mental illness (fail), faking suicide (fail), IVF claims (fail), dating site (fail), gambling site (fail), record label (can it be a fail if it never started?), music (fail), house in Thailand (fail), fake engagements (fail) and you don’t even know how to operate a simple alarm clock to get to flights on time.
Time for Lie #1.
For all the working out she did, Oliver Stone had no projects from this tweet through now attached to Tila’s name. Really though, how slow does someone ask a question to have time for someone to do all that? And why, oh God, why couldn't she have knocked herself out forever by one of her beef curtains smacking her in the face during a jumping jack? Yeah bitches, you know you got that imagery. Don't be grossed out - think of how fucking funny that would be.
Tila spouting intelligence on how we are all vibrators! You see, we are made of energy, not… *snort* vibrations. Energy doesn’t vibrate; its energy in shifting is made of natural combines. Humans have to manipulate energy of atoms and rearrange it to make shoes. Atoms are not vibrations – they are solid mass. The lie comes in with this stupid claim of an experiment in Philly. She claims this isn't known because it's a government cover up. But somehow, Skankbag Tila was able to get what would probably be classified Yankee White security clearance? Like, she totally only exists because we read the interwebz. Get it? Does this mean if we shake Tila hard enough she’ll disappear? Wow – that’d be amazingly awesome. If everything Tila always wanted was a shitty, trashed apartment, a dog chained to a stripper pole, no car, no job, no money and a sidekick with a forehead they are turfing now for the Superbowl – she wins! But why didn’t she rearrange her atoms to save Casey, instead of having Casey move all her shit (and medications) to her house, then locking her out and Casey’s dogs in, and take off to parts unknown?
Here for your lolz and comparison is the original wording of both Tila's site and the original poster, Zack Taylor's site. But first take note (I do hot have images enabled, one hit is one from me!) of what she named the location for the picture: The Queen of "The All Seeing Eye" Biggest Devil Worshipper! She's so rad, doncha know? Tila's blurb is about twice as long as Zack's and in his limited space, he uses alleged twice and the lovely "don't sue me" phrase - looks like. Tila uses alleged once, but not only does her headline state as fact, but she repeats that it IS Gaga again. When pictures like this come out, when writing a blog based on gossip, you must include alleged or similar terms each time. Forget that it was already fact when she posted that it was not Gaga. I saw it on Zack's site, looks like a porn still with the camera angle not possible from the dude.
But she's soooo legit, she says it all the time!
This reads to me: Wah wah wah! BELIEVE ME PLEASE!!! I'm soooooo awesome and I'm comparing my site to Perez and TMZ to prove it! A) Perez is a douche but his sister runs the site, even Tila knew that. So it isn't Perez posting it. B) TMZ has NEVER posted a full uncensored picture of anyone. They always have those red stars over everything. As far as I can tell, they stayed far, far away from the Miley crotch shot scenario. Makes sense, Levin is a former lawyer. Tila's site isn't celeb gossip - it's an RSS feed of other sites and the "exclusives" are all about her. In a quick tag search, more than 60% of the articles on her site, are about her. If they aren't about her, she makes it about her somehow. In any event, copying and pasting from an RSS feed isn't breaking news - it's just an RSS feed of others stories with some ridiculously selfish additions to it.
But let the record show - she tells haters to Fuck Off, posts about a celeb and STD's, Devil worshiping, etc. but Perez "posts nasty things 24/7". At least he doesn't post about jacking off - for which I am profoundly grateful and so is my lunch. I swear, when I saw her posts last night about her getting all hot and bothered, I threw up in my mouth. I was eating for God's Sakes - Stop it Tila. I'm starting a new campaign aimed at keeping Tila from grossing people out. S.O.L.D. Save Our Lunch & Dinner. (Double meaning ftw.)
So after all that, what does one do, when trying to act like she's a buddy to a mega superstar with an alleged nude photo? Why, claim he's the baby dad... well, it's a girl this time so claim there's a sex tape!
I like Lady Gaga. I really do. So tonight I saw Tila saying she didn't just have Gaga NUDES, she had a pic of Gaga that included full on penetration, and I was curious. Instead of clicking on her link, I asked people on twitter and was QUICKLY informed that Radar had already confirmed that it wasn't Gaga. No big surprise. I also heard that the pic was blurry and half the face was missing, besides the fact that it looked nothing like Gaga. Okay, whatever.
But that started a whole shebang of utter bullshit coming from Tila's twitter.
See the =P? That probably means she's joking, right? But then she kept going...
and when people didn't believe her, she tweeted:
and when she STILL got called a liar, by the #littlemonsters (Gaga's fans on twitter), she tweeted:
and when they STILL didn't believe her, she tweeted:
Tila, always true to her pre-teen audience *cough cough* then tweeted:
So this is what is currently going on over in Tila Land. This doesn't even include her replies to people, like the one where she talks about being a squirter. Yeah, I thought you guys could live without that one. And now she's off furiously masturbating. I'm kind of depressed that I know that.
But hey, remember this?
Hey, you guys want a link to a 4 second clip of Tila's sex tape? Okay, here it is. There's lots of porn circulating the internet that claims to be of her (trust me, my boyfriend - who is truly evil - put it on our Apple TV without telling me so I had a lovely surprise one day) and is NOT her. It's some other Asian porn actress who only KIND OF, IF YOU SQUINT (hahaha no pun intended you racist jackholes) looks like Tila. Then there's her Playboy videos, and her video with Masuimi Max which can be found here in stills.
And for good measure, since she denies that's her in the 4tube video, here she is threatening to sue over it on TMZ.
Nice job, dipshit. Hey, remember when Tila was famous for being overly-sexualized, and not for being an overly-sexualized liar with mental issues? Ah, memories.
So you guys probably saw Tila tweeting about buying a Lambo. Lately she's been on this driving kick since that video of her driving Bradshaw home when he was drunk. And then there's this video where she says she's a "professional speed racer." Sort of. She stumbles upon that conclusion.
Let's just ignore the fact that if you really WERE a professional race car driver you'd probably know how to say you were. No, really, let's just play along. Sure, Tila, you participated in the Bullrun. Sure. I totally believe that.
Update: Oh look, Tila did the Bullrun in 2007! Check out this blog, written by her driving partner. Notice how every time Tila is brought up, it's about how she fucks up? And there's that lovely bit here:
I let Tila do most of the driving today and I got to teach her how to down shift and use the emergency brake when she’s afraid of rolling forward.Professional race car driver! Uh huh. Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled snark.
Anyway, while "shopping" *snicker* she posted many twitpics such as this one:
Then she tweeted that she couldn't make up her mind, and that she wanted to see more colors or something. Yeah, THAT'S believable.
You know what? I'm just going to let the guys at TMZ take care of this one. They sum it up pretty well.
Sincerely yours from a blog that got "shut down,"
So Tila is STILL running her mouth over the fact that we "got shut down." Except I'm making this post right now, so...shut down? YOU SURE ABOUT THAT, GUTTER TROLL?
OMG NOW WE HAVE NOTHING GUYS. Whatever will we do!? OMG SOB SOB SOB.
WE GOT TAKEN DOWN GUYS. The cyber police backtraced us and we faced the consequences, which will never be the same! WE DUN GOOFED.
LOL I could seriously fucking pee my pants. Tila, your bitch ass is going to have to buy me more fatty girl pants in a minute. You've been saying FOREVER that you know who's running this...
THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING SO HARD TO FIND OUT HERE:
OMG YOU FOUND ME TILA. I'm the "leader" and my name is Chandall! YOU GOT ME! And, you fucking cuntstain, you know this isn't the only one I have. Why are you this stupid? WHY!? How have you lived to be almost 30 with the brain power of a 3 year old?
One of life's great mysteries, man.
Anyway, Princess Dumbass (it's been a hot minute since I called you that! Aww, Eddie's getting all nostalgic up in here!), we look forward to you DROPPING A BOMB on us. We really do. Don't forget, your lawyers couldn't shut us up with a C&D, and we're obviously still here! I'm sorry you don't know the difference between "locked down" and "shut down." Someone even showed you this:
Oh, and good luck with the Lambo shopping! *snicker*
Sincerely yours from a "shut down" blog,
The "leader" of the Resistance, apparently
HEY ROTSPOTTERS! So as many of you know, this little ol' blog was on lock for a little while. Obviously we weren't "down," as many people thought. Let's just say we all needed a break. But we're back! Unlocked and better than ever!
Here's a screen shot of Tila being overjoyed that we were "down." Oh, silly Tila! You should know better than to trust internet trolls!
HAHAHAHA SUCK IT BITCHES, WE'RE BACK!
she doesn't do things in half measures! With new single 'I Love My DJ', new EP Welcome To The Dark Side and her very own record label to run - not to mention a management firm and her own gossip blog - we somehow managed to grab a few minutes in her hectic schedule for a chat.Her very own record label to run? Well this label has been around since January, how many people has she signed in the last 8 months? Let me give you a sec to count to ZERO! RazB? Nope. TexazTwinz? Nope. Rob Johnson? Nope. As a matter of fact Tila changed the name and created a symbol she promised to reveal to the world months ago. We still haven't seen or heard anything since.
Tila Tequila is so long ago - it was a screen name, it was on MySpace, it was from Shot At Love.Is this a multiple choice question? Let me fill in the rest of the choices:
I'm aspiring to be a mogul.BWAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, wait, I mean, oh Tila dear, you want to be a mogul? Well honey you're talented enough and you're smart enough to be the biggest mogul the world has every known. You go get them girl!! BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. Sorry folks, that just made me all 5 ways silly. A mogul isn't something you aspire to, like being a washed up, std-riddled lying skank. No. A mogul is accomplished after many years of hard work, contemplative business decisions and a keen sense of business and finance. A mogul is never a self-titled position, its a status other see you as. Mogul. Heh. Sorry.
I don't like to copy trends and what's hot right nowWell you slipped in a true statement there Tila. You damn well do not copy trends or copy what's hot right now! Why should you follow trends about decorum and self-worth, when you can be a trendsetter, instead of a trend follower? What A-list (or Z-list) celeb does that whole rolling-on-the-ground-like-an-convulsing gutterslut pose? No one! What A-Z List celeb stuffs their wonky nips into an ingenius top made of belts? No one! What A-Z List celeb knowingly walks out of their hotel room without their panties and then proceeds to flash her rancid vag lips to the audience? No one! You started these trends Tila. Never let anyone take that away from you!
Blue Dress' and it means a lot to me. I sing it with so much passion because somebody really inspired me to just get out there and do it, and every time I sing it I remember that person and I don't see anybody else.
I'm in negotiations to sign an artist from New Zealand at the moment. I was supposed to fly him out here to be with me but there's so much stuff going on I thought I should deal with it when I'm back home. We've been working with him for the past few months
Oh, I get it. He was signed, but then they went back to the negotiations, and now he'll be signed again. I hope he has time to get that summer album launched, cause my calender says July 21...and that's one month in to the three months summer. Silly me. I bet she meant New Zealands summer, which is December to February.
I don't want to be one of those people who tries to do this and that and is then a mess, so I told them to let me take care of this first, take care of him and I'll do it one at a time. It's a small business building up. Once it gets bigger I can bring more people on. I want to do it the point where it's realistic what I can handle.Confucius says: If a record label isn't prepared to sign their first contract, and they don't have the time to drop an album and launch a tour...well can they be said to be prepared to be a record label?
Once it gets bigger I can bring more people on.How many more people do you need beyond the 20-30 you claim currently work for you? Maybe you can pull Bradshaw off fashion and have him do something worthwhile for a change. Aww don't get sand all up in your vagina, 9Head. You know I love any gay man with a plato-esque forehead and paint rollered on eye brows who can bedazzle the hell out of hooker!
I think it's great because it makes their dreams come true but the only con is that it happens overnight and the contracts aren't greatBut, but.... I thought that's what your record label was all about...making people overnight stars and promising all their dreams will come true! It's all right there in that Rob Johnson blog above...