In the last couple of weeks a certain young man, I'll call, Biff, who is currently dating our midget idjit mogul, has come to my attention. I'm not going to reveal his real name or screen name, only because he's not a celeb or anything. His Twitter is all public so I'm just pulling shit off there and commenting about it.

Personally, the guy skeeves me the fuck out. He totally gives me the heebie-jeebies, but that's just me, and as you read his tweets and follow the commentary I'll let you make your own decisions on his creepy-teepee tweets to Tila and several porn chicks.

The backstory: Biff is a 24- or 25-year old The Situation-looking dude, with the same 'game' as the Situation, but better looking. He's got the smarmy fake personality and hits up at least 8 different porn chicks, including Tila on his Twitter. Tila and another gal seem to be his prime targets. There are many many facets to Biff, but I want to comment first on his interest in Tila. It appears Biff arrived on Twitter just a fan of Tila's and a bunch of other porn chicks. Most of his crap is the lovey-dovely drival of a horny man hoping to score some STD-laced poontang. 

The Tila stuff is much more interesting and much more disturbing. It appears to me that Biff has been stalky mcstalkerson when it comes to Tila. He starts off being the usual vapid fan, but then after sending her gifts and talking about his girlfriend loving Tila and begging Tila to follow him, you start to get a little freaked out by his intensity. Things build up when he somehow manages to live next door to her, and yet doesn't realize her lives next door to her.

Now, of course we'd expect people to live next door to Tila, but what about a guy who claims he sent $500 to Jayden's Angels? Tila advertised that sham back in December '09 and shut it down by end of January '10. Biff would have us believe he innocently donated $500 and then miraculously she moved next door to him months later.

Tweets are in semi-chronological order. That means where there are several tweets grouped together, you'd read them like on Twitter, from the bottom-up, but I'll be striving to go from the earliest to the latest. 

The next tweet is all about the lulz. Heh.

Here he wonders when she'll perform in Texas, and that he caught one of her lame-ass shows the previous nite. Doesn't appear he tried to meet her though.

Next, he begs Tila to follow him. He has important info, but it's critical she follow him:

Suddenly he has her address because he claims it was 'leaked', and then he confirmed it's her address. How did he confirm, did he drive over there? Does it appear to you that she lives next door to him? The vibe of this tweet tells me he may know where she lives, but doesn't live next door. Love how any other stalkers out there who got ahold of this 'leaked' address now have confirmation that they have the right one. Note this is May 15.

Remember a little while ago he questioned her about Texas? It seems she ignored his question (probably because her little alien nose smelled a creeper!), but she is claiming to be in Texas (this was that stupid 'wedding' she claimed to have flown out to).

Now he's hitting 9Head up for a free trip, and still talking about how people blasting her new address. Funny thing is, I never heard that it had been leaked. With all the info I see on Tila, this one completely escaped me. And, why not DM her the info, why announce it so every other creeper can look for themselves? Sounds like he's setting the stage for something.

He's now out on Robertson looking for Tila. I'm assuming she tweeted she'd be there and he went running.

OH boohoo, Tila seems to be ignoring Don Juan 'cause he's no longer her favorite person.

Note the date. This was the day of Arm Meet-Gate. Remember, down the way you'll see where he tweets he lives next door to her. If he lived next door to her, don't you think he'd see the fire and rescue, police and emts? Let's see, when my daughter we 2 and fell off the bed on her head, 911 sent a humongous fire truck, a smaller fire and rescue truck, a police car and an ambulance. Four large vehicles on one street for a tiny little girl. At least that many were there for the suicide hoax, possibly more because they were thinking there was another person involved (Jane). Tongues would have been wagging amongst the neighbors all days and into the next, yet Biff responds to her tweets, and doesn't seem to know what is happening. 

A week later he wonders why she still won't follow him, or perhaps she was following and then unfollowed:

A couple days later, now that Tila's back from her 5150 vacation, she does decide to follow him. It's now been almost 6 weeks since he's followed her both Twitterly and literally. Lots of love for Tila though, as he's also sending packages to other porn chicks and he mentions his girlfriend.

Have no idea why he would say this this first tweet, but it's ickers:

And a week after she starts following him, they're engaged. But wait, I thought he wanted to marry that other porn chick, you know the first person he tweeted. Men!

Oh look, the Biffuation is getting all charming and sexy on her:

PS: I can't stand that term, "wifey". Gag me with a spoon!

Ohoh, trouble in paradise....

Ugh. More of the creepy false intimacy I so love.

He's really desperate....

I believe this was referencing her tweet about going to the UPS store and seeing David Alan Grier. Did someone follow her? Looks like he 'cause he couldn't hug her because of all her packages.

Now he knows her gym:

Oddly, he wonders if another porn star is also his new neighbor. Did he just move in, or did she move in. Odd. If he moved in, then it appears he moved in to Tila's neighborhood knowing she lived there. I have to think he just moved in this week, because these other tweets tell the story as he suddenly tries to make Tila aware how close he is.

Well it certainly appears to be that he moved in, because the next day he tells Tila he's in the 'same place'. It still doesn't appear that Tila really acknowledges him as someone she knows. If she did, she'd have him DM her, and not post this crap in public.

Ohoh. It's taking a very creepy tone:

Good thing he and his other 'wife' (the girlfriend, he claims to have, is in love with Kaylani and they both send her handmade gifts) are busy with the other porn chicks:

And there's an urgent package he wants Tila to pick up. He now believes he saw her the previous night walking Onyx. If I thought I lived next door to someone I admired, I certainly wouldn't be so calm about it. It seems like he's trying to tell her it's all just a crazy quirk of fate that they live next door to each other.

She still hasn't picked up his package. If he knew he lived next door, why send it to her fan mail address, why not send it to the address she lives at? You've already proven yourself to be creepy by all these tweets, a little package isn't going to put you over the top.

Still hasn't picked up the package and he wants to cuddle. If I was Tila, I'd be freaking out about now.

Anything to get her attention. He keeps telling her he knows where she lives. That, in itself, is stalker behavior to me. 

Looks like 10 days later, she still hasn't picked up the package.

Tila has no real friends at all, let alone fans.

Ickers.
Two weeks, and she thinks so much about him that she still hasn't picked up the package. But even more creepy, the last tweet where he asks who she asked about making a video. Is this something her heard in her hallway outside her apartment? That's the only thing I get out of it.

Finally, 15 days later she picks up the damn package.

Ick, again. 

Love how he just keeps grooming her by stoking her ego. And I don't know where he'd have a big house because he lives in the apartments next to Tila's.

Now he wants to know where she eats. Perhaps he's hoping for an invite. He doesn't let up, does he?
Nope, he doesn't.
Gross.
August 3 he's still with his girlfriend. Or did her ever have a girlfriend? If you saw his timeline, you'd be amazed at how much time he spends tweeting all these porn chicks. Does he throw in the girlfriend to look less threatening?

A few days later, he tweets he has cigarettes in response to Tila begging for smokes. She has obviously never met the guy, because he has to keep telling her lives next door. She must have been totally freaked out when she read his other tweets about knowing where she lives and was she walking her dog, etc. RUN TILA, RUN!!! Oh wait, what happened to the girlfriend from 5 days ago? You know, the one you've been with since at least May.

He goes on to explain that he's not a stalker when he lives next door, though he seems to have moved in in late June and he just happens to have moved next door to Tila, after knowing her address since mid-May. Oh yeah, that's normal.

Here's where his charm really shines through:

Ummmmm. I don't think respect is telling all of Twitter that you 'smashed' her or fucked her. What class.

He really should take his own advise:

But he doesn't:

As of today, he tweeted that Tila visited him on the 8th floor of his employer's building where they fucked. Yeah. Thing is I can't believe she'd do that for any man. If anything she'd call the shots and tell him to get to her hovel for a little afternoon delight. But we shall see.

So, is this guy just a romantical love-lorn Lothario? Could be. I have to say, the fact Tila has no one filtering her dates means she's wide open to exploit. I'm not saying Biff is doing anything wrong, but it sure seems fishy (and that's just not the smell of Tila's open legs!). It wouldn't surprise me if she met up with someone who stalked her and ended up meeting her just so he could make a sex tape to sell behind her back, ala Spencer Pratt. I guess we shall see.

I have more that he tweeted about Casa, and some random crap, but I'll follow up in the coming days with that shit.