Hey you guys!  Uncle Eddie here, watching the shenanigans go down on Tila's twitter!  She's riled up and ready for action tonight kids!  If you're awake, head on over there and watch the fucking BAT SHIT CRAZY go down!

No, on second thought, stay here and let us tell you wtf is going on.  Here's a sampling of the insane shit she's bustin' out with tonight:

OMG I DON'T WANNA FUCK WITH TILA, SHE'LL SAY MEAN, DUMB ASS THINGS TO ME IN 140 CHARACTERS OR LESS!  Seriously, Tila?  You're not even 5 feet tall.  The only thing I'm afraid of are your rock hard tits and wonky nipples touching me.  Bitch, I would love it if you came to my house (you know, all the way out in Bumfuck, Iowa, where I live with the pedophiles and collect my welfare checks, right, dumb ass?) and tried to run your stupid little mouth.  Please Tila, use your mogul money and come to my fucking house (after you buy some curtains, you broke ass ho).  I will knock your dick in the dirt.

Anyway, I also wanted to add my two cents in regarding this post here made by Fatty earlier.  Fatty, my delectably rotund comrade writes:

Well, that begs the question, what ever happened to the Texaz Twinz? A visit to their Twitter didn't give any info, but a visit to their myspace, did: texaztwinz. Lovely site, but I don't see any mention of Tila's secretly named record label or the badass symbol. They say they're unsigned and their management company is The Monster Squad. Oh wait, silly me, they've probably been on the road so much touring that they haven't had time to update their info...yep, I was right, they last were seen on myspace on June 13, 2010. Of course not updating their label status is not a priority for anyone trying to get a foothold on credibility in the music industry.

Oh ho!  But Fatty!  Little did you know that a few months ago, this appeared on the Texaz Twinz twitter, only to be retweeted by tons of people and quickly removed!
Motherfucker, you THINK you're slick, but Uncle Eddie got you!  Everybody go wish that smug little bitch Rob good luck, he's obviously going to need it!

And on that note boys and ghouls, I'm going to go spend some quality time with my boyfriend of which I have, whom I did not meet (like arm meet) at a super market.

Da na na na na na na na
Da na na na na na na na
CRACK RANTS!
You see?  It's like Batman, only it's TILA!  God, I'm witty.

So anyway, Uncle Eddie went to see Iron Man 2 tonight, and suddenly I feel my phone going freaking NUTS in my pocket.  I couldn't help it, I had to check (it's a dick move people, don't turn on your cell phones during a movie unless you're slick about it) and my girl Daria was BLOWING MY SHIT UP telling me that Tila was going on a crack rant!  And even though Uncle Eddie needs to rest his eyes, he had to tell you.  In case you missed it.

Let's start at the beginning.  @Antifakebitch over on twitter found this tweet made by my full retard (or "full retahhhhh" as he calls it) buddy, @ProphecyHipHop.  This guy seriously might be the biggest douchebag on the planet, no joke.  Anyway, a few days ago he tweeted this:


Prophecy, aka Garry Sun, will make you roll your eyes so hard your brain will bleed.  He makes all new age thought painful and ridiculous.  Anyway, he's the same guy that took all those ultra-classy and glamorous (read: mogulicious) pictures of Tila shopping at Ralph's in her lingerie.

Anyway, so fast forward to tonight.  Here it comes, people, get ready for it!


Okay, that's normal enough, right?  I mean, I've never seen that movie because it just LOOKS sad, and I don't feel like making myself cry.  But oh, Tila isn't going to let us down.  Just when you think shit is normal POW! (lol)...


LOL!!  Oh I hope WE are the bad people she's talking about!  Oh I hope I hope I hope!  Oh Tila, that would just make my day!  And I know TRS and Gnome would just pee their pants with joy!

So let me tell you, you don't even know how many messages I got by excited people thinking she was going to start talking about suicide again.  And that got Uncle Eddie's hopes up.  But don't get discouraged guys.  Maybe she's got like, some fatal illness that nobody knows about...

And on that note, Uncle Eddie is going to catch some Z's!

Oh wait, no, let me show you this real quick.


Eh oh FUCKING el.  Obviously Tila's gossip blog is the numba one gossip blog IN THA WORLD OMGZ LOLZ.  That's from today (well I guess technically yesterday, but I haven't gone to sleep yet), May 6th, 2010.

Good night, bitches!