Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Sunday, June 6
Jelis Haterz Care More About Tila Than Her Army: The Truth About Tila's "Suicide" Attempt
9:55 PM | 
Posted by
Fatty McFatterson
What a weekend. Tila has shown her true colors in the only hue that does her justice--whore red. We all know the story by now, but what you may not know is that it appears the Jelis Haters were the only people who did anything to intervene in Tila's madness of Saturday.
I saw the Twitter/Facebook posts at 10:00 am west coast time. My initial reaction was that something horrible was going on in Mogul-Land and whether she really did cut herself (I hadn't seen the video at that point, just the still photos) in a suicide attempt or as a cry for help, I wasn't going to ignore it. I supplied LAPD with the mansion apartment address I had for her, but they were unable to find her there. Over the next 4 or 5 hours I fielded tons of calls from LAPD dispatch, on-scene officers, and fire and rescue.
I called in a welfare check. I told them what she tweeted about Jane and that she was reportedly to appear on Celeb Rehab for opiate addiction and she had tweeted the night before about taking those drugs. I told them I didn't know if she was depressed at the delay in taping the show, or had OD'd on the drugs to the point of psychosis or if she really believed someone had harmed her. We all know TILA NEVER LIES, so this time I was taking no chances. I may not like her, but I don't want her to die alone like an animal like Casey Johnson was forced to die. Had one person thought to reach out to Casey after not hearing from her, she'd likely still be alive. I wasn't going to be that one person who had Tila's blood on my hands (I know not a popular decision, lol, but hey, somewhere in this HoHo-enhanced body, I have a little sliver of a heart!).
Anyway, they found no one at the apartmansion and determined Tila didn't actually live there. No one seemed to know where she lived. They then traveled to her old place (site of the infamous Garbage Sale 2010), and found nothing. Funny, the officer on the scene who called me had been assigned to the Garbage Sale, and said something to the effect that "after the owner put the house up for sale (but wait, Tila OWNED IT, SHE NEVER LIES!), Tila was forced to move out and had a garage sale." I then fielded more calls from dispatch and fire and rescue, all of them determined to find Tila at all costs. I was asked to do whatever I could to find her contact info.
I thought to contact Pasadena Recovery Center (where Celeb Rehab is filmed), and told them the story and suggested they contact LAPD if they could help. About 2:30 pm PRC contacted me and let me know they had forwarded the info (don't know what took so long but it may have been a case of their records room being closed for the weekend and having to call in someone, I don't know for sure though).
Soon after that call, Tila went on her Twitter rant against the dumbfucks who cared enough about her health and safety and who tried to get her help. She claimed at that time that this whole charade was for our entertainment. She was also quick to point out that she wasn't mad at her Army, just the dumbfucks who thought she was serious about suicide. Evidently she was made aware of the presence of rescue personnel, and took that time to tweet her rage, before she was interviewed by law enforcement.
By this time, I was no longer in contact with any of the authorities, but heard from another jelis hater who had also been on the phone for the last 5 or 6 hours, that the police found NO INJURIES AT ALL on Tila. They did not describe the aparmansion condition, but they did tour it and felt Tila was ok to stay there on her own.
So, rather than apologize for the complete disruption of the lives of many many people, Tila chose to spew her venom at the only people who tried to help her. Her stupid Army of Morons and Halfwits did NOTHING to get her help. Many were distressed by her posts, and instead of reaching out to people who could help her, they asked Tila to reach out to them. That's a really good way of losing a life, kids. When someone's life is on the line, never EVER hesitate to get the proper authorities involved. If it's too big a problem for an adult (Tila) to handle, then it's too big of a problem for a young person with no experience in mental health/crisis issues to deal with.
It's taken me many hours to process all this crap in my brain. I spent 4 or 5 hours on the phone, searching the internet, etc, trying desperately to give the authorities information that might help Tila. The authorities visited a total of 4 different locations over that period of time, before they finally found her. My whole Saturday was wasted. No, I did not do this to get her in trouble. I felt that she was a danger to herself and the least I could do was do what I'd do for anyone in my community.
I have to give a shout out to LAPD, both officers and dispatchers, LA Fire and Rescue, the ambulance service, and the Pasadena Recovery Center. Every single person I spoke to was kind and professional and really and truly cared about finding and helping Tila. Not one person was going to give up on her. Every single person was as determined to find her as if she was one of their own. I was in awe at the amazing compassion and determination I encountered. The fact that there was probably 50 or so of these folks doing all they could to find her, not to mention all the readers, fans and haters who were worried about her safety, is testament to the goodness in these people. Ironically, the person who I now believe deserves this attention the least, is Tila. What a warped ugly cunt of a woman. I was filled with guilt all night and today, wondering what would have happened had someone else needed those services and they were denied them because of Tila's stunt. I felt horrible guilt that I set in motion a series of events that could have meant a catastrophic outcome for another person.
I called the authorities out of sincere concern for her well-being. Would I do it again? Yes. Sadly, I am enough of a compassionate person that no matter how may times you cry wolf, I can't ignore the real cry for help behind your attention seeking behavior.
As for Tila, fuck off you slimebag whore. Don't kill yourself, I'd rather watch as this drama plays out and you find that no producers or television network wants to handle your shit. I want to watch as you reap the consequences of fucking with people's lives and destroying all your little troll hands touch. You are now a huge LIABILITY. I hope Dr Drew sees your interest in Celeb Rehab as a way to further your own agenda with no thought or concern about the life or death issues of yourself or the other participants. You plan to sabatoge the recovery efforts of vulnerable people for another shot of fame. You'll never have that fame Tila. You'll never again be the sweetheart of the internet. You fucked it all up, move on with your life.
Oh, and I don't know if Tila removed her youtube video herself, or if me contacting youtube, twitter and facebook for TOS violations (graphic images and content) had anything to do with it.
Lastly, I'd like to point out that the biggest 'hater' of Tila, is Tila herself.
PS: Next time one of the Army of Morons and Halfwits ask why you're commenting on her Facebook/blog if you're such a hater, just copy and paste this reply:
I may be a hater, but at least the haters tried to get her help when she went on her suicide mission. What did you, a Tila lover, do?
That ought to shut up the smart one...the others, well, nothing will convince them that the puppetmaster is anything but a poor misunderstand sensitive girl next door.
If Tila really did succeed in hurting herself or killing herself, what do you want to bet it would be her army who would point their fingers at us haters as the cause, when they couldn't be bothered to come to her aid in her hour of need. I have yet to see ONE army member step up and say they tried to help, yet I know of at least 3 'haters' who did just that, and for all the right reasons. Makes you go hmmmmmm.
Friday, May 7
Whoo! Crack Rants!
3:40 AM |
Posted by
Anonymous
Da na na na na na na na
Da na na na na na na na
CRACK RANTS!
You see? It's like Batman, only it's TILA! God, I'm witty.
So anyway, Uncle Eddie went to see Iron Man 2 tonight, and suddenly I feel my phone going freaking NUTS in my pocket. I couldn't help it, I had to check (it's a dick move people, don't turn on your cell phones during a movie unless you're slick about it) and my girl Daria was BLOWING MY SHIT UP telling me that Tila was going on a crack rant! And even though Uncle Eddie needs to rest his eyes, he had to tell you. In case you missed it.
Let's start at the beginning. @Antifakebitch over on twitter found this tweet made by my full retard (or "full retahhhhh" as he calls it) buddy, @ProphecyHipHop. This guy seriously might be the biggest douchebag on the planet, no joke. Anyway, a few days ago he tweeted this:
Prophecy, aka Garry Sun, will make you roll your eyes so hard your brain will bleed. He makes all new age thought painful and ridiculous. Anyway, he's the same guy that took all those ultra-classy and glamorous (read: mogulicious) pictures of Tila shopping at Ralph's in her lingerie.
Anyway, so fast forward to tonight. Here it comes, people, get ready for it!
Okay, that's normal enough, right? I mean, I've never seen that movie because it just LOOKS sad, and I don't feel like making myself cry. But oh, Tila isn't going to let us down. Just when you think shit is normal POW! (lol)...
LOL!! Oh I hope WE are the bad people she's talking about! Oh I hope I hope I hope! Oh Tila, that would just make my day! And I know TRS and Gnome would just pee their pants with joy!
So let me tell you, you don't even know how many messages I got by excited people thinking she was going to start talking about suicide again. And that got Uncle Eddie's hopes up. But don't get discouraged guys. Maybe she's got like, some fatal illness that nobody knows about...
And on that note, Uncle Eddie is going to catch some Z's!
Oh wait, no, let me show you this real quick.
Eh oh FUCKING el. Obviously Tila's gossip blog is the numba one gossip blog IN THA WORLD OMGZ LOLZ. That's from today (well I guess technically yesterday, but I haven't gone to sleep yet), May 6th, 2010.
Good night, bitches!
Labels:
alexa search,
crack rants,
miss tila,
psychic,
suicide,
tila tequila,
time traveler's wife
|
16
comments
Wednesday, May 5
Story Time, Folks!
11:18 AM |
Posted by
Anonymous
Okay boys and girls, Uncle Eddie is up early (early for Uncle Eddie anyway) so I've decided to tell you guys a little story. It occurred to me recently that some of you may not remember the time when our favorite midget mogul Tila TeCRAZY threatened to commit suicide. There are rumors that there was a time she threatened to commit suicide if her retarded army of underage lemmings didn't get something trending on twitter. See, I don't have those screen caps, but I'm pretty sure I remember that too. However, I do have the screen caps of THIS time when she threatened it. And as we all know, suicide is NOTHING to this crazy bitch. It's the equivalent of faking a pregnancy or a
So there are two things about this that piss me off to no end. First, she's all "omg you guys aren't my fans and you're killing me if you don't tell Diddy!" then apparently Diddy said something (probably "bitch wtf you smokin'?") and she's all "oh gosh Diddy I'm so sorry my fans got you involved." God what a fucking STUPID bitch. Secondly, how dare she get my fucking hopes up like that? I've said it before and I'll say it again, Uncle Eddie already has the post ready for you bitches when she either kills herself by overdosing in the gutter or is found chopped up in a suitcase.
So you know that miracle she was begging for? Well she brings it up a couple more times. And can you believe it, she uses it as an excuse to name drop! Wow! How very unlike her! She basically continues, hinting at what we now know to be the first in a series of fake pregnancies (I'll post more about that in a few days, you'll see why then) and she starts to insinuate that she and Diddy have a relationship.
And, as you probably noticed at the top of the suicide tweets - after she comes back with "what's up bitches?" (which is fucking lovely, with as many of her fans who were undoubtedly worried that she disappeared and THAT'S how she comes back), she talks about filing a criminal restraining order against someone. Well, that's because of this (again, read from the bottom up):
Later, from what I understand, someone at 4chan took credit for hacking into her twitter and typing that. I mean really, her story is COMPLETELY unbelievable. So someone broke into your house, updated your twitter, and locked your fucking PIT BULL in the trunk of your car? Okay Tila, sure. Oh, and blackmail? WTF does blackmail have to do with it? And, in true Tila fashion, this slowly fades away just like everything else does.
It probably wouldn't bother me so much that she lies all the time if she were at least GOOD at it.
Okay I think that's it for now. Uncle Eddie has some more good stories for you, but you have to be good little boys and girls. You have to eat all your vegetables and do your homework and the rest of that bullshit until next time. Promise?
Update!!
I totally forgot to add this one too! We still have hope, ladies and gentlemen!
Okay I'm seriously crossing my fingers.
Update Number 2!!
Amber Sweet over on Facebook found a link to the OTHER suicide, the one where Tila was threatening if her fans got #tilacommitsuicide trending on twitter. If the Resistance had been around back then, you can bet that shit would have been trending. Tila fans, you let us down!
Here's the link!!!
Dude...amazing. AMAZING. That is attention whoring on a whole 'nother level.
Labels:
2 Pac,
4chan,
hacked twitter,
John Mayer,
mischairage,
miss tila,
P Diddy,
suicide,
tila tequila,
Tila's lies
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