I know, I'm posting up a storm today, but you guys seem to be enjoying the updates.  And anybody who isn't can obviously suck my dick.

ANYWAY.  Just a minute ago Tila tweeted

I'm going to ignore the fact that she's IN bedrest.  I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.  The "i" and the "o" are right next to each other, and she's obviously far too traumatized to type.  But COME THE FUCK ON.  She's on bedrest!?  FOR WHAT!?  The two tiny fucking cuts on her face?  Jesus Christ.  She could have turned a rough trick and had worse injuries than that!

You know, if she was just honest and said "That was really fucking scary for me and I don't want to get out of bed right now" nobody would bat an eye at her.  In fact, she'd probably garner more sympathy that way!  But no, Tila, just keep exaggerating your bullshit injuries and make us all fucking hate you more.

Oh but I was hoping one of you guys could answer this question for me.  How exactly is she traumatized since she knew this would happen?  Don't forget, she's psychic after all!  I guess seeing car accidents in the near future is MUCH different than seeing your performance go down in shit-covered flames.

Hey guys!  I know, we've been neglecting our dear little Rotspotters lately.  We're all ridiculously busy with real life (please pronounce that "rull life," thanks), and I was gonna wait until tomorrow to post this, but I figured wtf?  Let's just do it.  Besides, it's a doozy.

So guess who predicted the earthquake LA had today, everybody?  You guessed it!  Our favorite meth-mouthed midget mogul moron!  Good job, Tila!  You know what else predicts natural disasters?  Animals!  You're on par with animals Tila!  And not just for "presenting" your business for anybody in the grocery store nature, or your smell, or your nappy mane!  Wow, you're moving up in the animal kingdom!

Anyway, let's read this shit.

So when I first started reading this, I had the same reactions you probably had: TILA, YOU DO NOT LIVE IN A HOUSE.  IT'S BEEN PROVEN THAT YOU LIVE IN AN APARTMENT.  WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO LIE LIKE A TOTAL RETARD?  Did you forget, Tila, that some of us (not me personally, but you're goddamn right I was following it with baited breath) were on the phone with the police when they found you IN YOUR APARTMENT after "Jane" tried (and failed, so I guess she's a failure just like you) to kill you?  "My house...blah blah blah...my house...blah blah blah."  Goddammit Tila you're so fucking stupid.

Then anyway, OMG the lolz come and they come hard!  So more about your dad, huh Tila?  So let's get this straight.  Aside from your father's Vietnam War story (read it here), and his stint in prison (read it here), he's also a fucking psychic?  Okay, I'll bite.  So when he abandoned your mom during the Vietnam war, I'm sure he did it because his PSYCHIC ABILITIES told him the Vietcong would *laugh* sneak her and your sister on a boat?  So why did he commit crimes if he knew he'd be thrown in jail, Tila? 

Oh and you got your "abilities" from him?  SO WHY DIDN'T YOU KNOW CASEY, THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, WAS ALL ALONE AND DYING WHILE YOU WERE IN HOUSTON??  You know, since you can apparently throw that shit around at will.  And what about your mischariage, Tila?  Why didn't you see that coming?  You've apparently had a few miscarriages (spoiler alert: they're all bullshit), so why didn't you see that coming?

And I love how one minute she's all "omg you can't tell people or it weakens your powers!!"  GOD WHAT A HUNK OF SHIT.  But then a few minutes later she's all "my friends test me, and I constantly prove it to them!  I has secret ways of making you see ded peeples!"  So apparently you can't tell people, but you can tell your friends?

Tila, it makes me fucking sick how ridiculously stupid you are.  You honestly lie like a 5th grader.  You lie about the dumbest shit that only your teenage army of idiots would ever believe.  And notice how she ends this diatribe of delusion with "maybe one day we'll meet (Ed note: like arm meet?  That's never going to get old for me!) and we'll get to be life long friends!  Then you'll know all my secrets!"  because THAT is how she keeps her underage army ensnared.  They're clawing and clamoring for fame and understanding.  Your lies are interesting to them, Tila, because they're all children, and they want to be a part of your life because you're kind of famous.  But you know what, Tila?  If you were yourself - if you stopped lying and just acted like the real Tila, whoever the fuck that is - NOBODY WOULD CARE ABOUT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE A SAD, PATHETIC LITTLE GIRL TRAPPED IN AN OVERSEXED WHORE-GOBLIN'S BODY.  So reach for it, Tila.  Lie about everything.  See how far it gets you.  No, really, we're all waiting for your "fame" to show.

Da na na na na na na na
Da na na na na na na na
CRACK RANTS!
You see?  It's like Batman, only it's TILA!  God, I'm witty.

So anyway, Uncle Eddie went to see Iron Man 2 tonight, and suddenly I feel my phone going freaking NUTS in my pocket.  I couldn't help it, I had to check (it's a dick move people, don't turn on your cell phones during a movie unless you're slick about it) and my girl Daria was BLOWING MY SHIT UP telling me that Tila was going on a crack rant!  And even though Uncle Eddie needs to rest his eyes, he had to tell you.  In case you missed it.

Let's start at the beginning.  @Antifakebitch over on twitter found this tweet made by my full retard (or "full retahhhhh" as he calls it) buddy, @ProphecyHipHop.  This guy seriously might be the biggest douchebag on the planet, no joke.  Anyway, a few days ago he tweeted this:


Prophecy, aka Garry Sun, will make you roll your eyes so hard your brain will bleed.  He makes all new age thought painful and ridiculous.  Anyway, he's the same guy that took all those ultra-classy and glamorous (read: mogulicious) pictures of Tila shopping at Ralph's in her lingerie.

Anyway, so fast forward to tonight.  Here it comes, people, get ready for it!


Okay, that's normal enough, right?  I mean, I've never seen that movie because it just LOOKS sad, and I don't feel like making myself cry.  But oh, Tila isn't going to let us down.  Just when you think shit is normal POW! (lol)...


LOL!!  Oh I hope WE are the bad people she's talking about!  Oh I hope I hope I hope!  Oh Tila, that would just make my day!  And I know TRS and Gnome would just pee their pants with joy!

So let me tell you, you don't even know how many messages I got by excited people thinking she was going to start talking about suicide again.  And that got Uncle Eddie's hopes up.  But don't get discouraged guys.  Maybe she's got like, some fatal illness that nobody knows about...

And on that note, Uncle Eddie is going to catch some Z's!

Oh wait, no, let me show you this real quick.


Eh oh FUCKING el.  Obviously Tila's gossip blog is the numba one gossip blog IN THA WORLD OMGZ LOLZ.  That's from today (well I guess technically yesterday, but I haven't gone to sleep yet), May 6th, 2010.

Good night, bitches!