Dear Diary: YAY! So my non-celebrity the-truth-and-only-the-truth blog is a couple of weeks old. I have never been a celebrity and now I've crossed over to the side of another non-celebrity!!! My blog is the #1 Get Under Tila's Meth-sore Skin blog around! Of course, if I was a REAL celebrity, I wouldn't have time to blog about celebrities, which is why you won't see other celebrities gossip blogging. Well, that, and the fact that celebrities generally have a certain amount of respect for other celebrities, and feel that gossiping about their peers is crass and in poor taste.

...and the world is SHOCKED.  Seriously, just SHOCKED.

So Tila blatantly stole something from The Superficial and posted it.  I know, shock and awe, right?  Except The Superficial seems to be pretty pissed about it.  Here's what they tweeted today:


Whore-hole?  Party with AIDS?  That shit is CLASSIC.  So here's the actual theft referred to in the third tweet:


This is the Superficial's pic.  Check out the file name.  Compare that to Tila's:


WOW.  Tila isn't even smart enough to change the file name!  Tila credits Splash News, but I don't think that's good enough.  Take it to the limit, Superficial!

By the way, the story Tila "broke" is that Heidi (Tila spells her name "Heidi Montage") wants bigger boobs.  Heidi actually began saying that in interviews right after her surgery months ago, and Perez posted about it on February 15, 2010.  You can read it here.   WAY TO BREAK THAT NEWS, TILA.  Fucking idiot.

And now for something really funny.  Tila actually got an exclusive!  She caught Michael Lohan uh...sitting in a car...in front of a club...just sitting there!  WHOO!  You go Tila!


And it only SLIGHTLY reeks of desperation!  (By "slightly" I mean "immensely.")  I love how she's all "omg look Lindsay!  I sent paparazzi to take pictures of your dad!  He's sitting in a car!  He didn't want his picture taken!  Please be my friend now!  I told you girl, I got your back!  Please?"  Great, so your only "exclusive" is nothing but absolute conjecture?  Wow Tila, your gossip blog is obviously changing the world.  It's allowing people to be idiots.  Great.  Way to benefit society there, meth face.

See, Tila army?  This is what you've done because you couldn't get #tilacommitsuicide trending last year.  This is all your fault.

Here's two things I'd love it if Tila could just understand for 2 seconds.
#1: Paparazzi is an Italian word.   Here is the origin:

Origin:
1965–70; < It, from the surname of such a photographer in Federico Fellini's La dolce vita (1959), after the name of a hotelkeeper in George Gissing's By the Ionian Sea (1901), read by Fellini in It trans. at the time of the movie's producton

Thus, Tila, the plural of Paparazzi is PAPARAZZI.  The singular of the word is PAPARAZZO.  One photographer is a PAPARAZZO.  Two or more are PAPARAZZI.  Not PAPARAZZIS.

#2: Your blog is seeing such high numbers because it's new.  Stop comparing yourself to TMZ and bragging that they've been around for years and you've only been around 2 days.  Besides that, people like Michael K (who you bragged about talking about your blog) think it's stupid.  I'm sorry you are too stupid to understand sarcasm, I really am.  Just wait, Tila.  Just wait and see where your numbers are once the shock of this idiot blog wears off.  We all predicted this would happen, you aren't showing anybody up.  Bad press might be press, but it's not gaining you any fans.  Sweetheart, you aren't going to like being famous when everybody hates you.  You can't handle it, you're a suicidal mess.

Ugh, I don't know why I even try.  At least I know she'll read it.  Uncle Eddie loves you, boys and girls!  Uncle Eddie does not love Tila because Tila is stupid.  Uncle Eddie doesn't love stupid.

Later bitches!

The other morning on FOX Miss Cunt herself stated that the haters were always be the first to buy her song to tell her how much it sucks. We all know that the whore throws her vag around ever so freebie frivolously so what's to keep her from doing that with her creating a mix-tape with some lame freebie computer program, er .. excuse me ... "music". We don't HAVE to go spendin' cash on your shitty voice over screeching when we can watch you lip sync'ing it up in soft core porno style. She always does some sort of "exclusive" launch on the same bullshit over and over again. It's nice to see she at least does the same performance that she did at her "real exclusive premier".


And the lyrics ... Girl, several other porn star wanna be rappers skanked it up years ago and they're not doin' much these days either are they? Just food for thought. You're talking about being a mogul, an ambassador, a mentor, a mother, a wife, a soldier of god, the virgin Mary yet you talk about popping your pussy and filling your middle up like an oreo?












LOL that shit is ROUGH. I'm sure Tila will just blame the haters for it, blah blah blah. The thing is, Tila, is that anybody with ears who isn't completely suckered by you can tell that the song is awful. Shouldn't your army be there backing you up in bigger numbers? Or won't their parents let them? Even TMZ called the song awful, and they're supposedly your friends, right Tila? Face it princess, that song is suck city.