I'd love to walk up and laugh right in her face!  We all knew Miss Hogul's Celebrity Rehab stunt was to TRY and get some publicity via TMZ and I'm sure it's given her a little.  Like she said herself, any press is good press ... no matter what it says about her.

Funny enough, we called all of this.  IF indeed she WAS offered a spot on CR we knew from the day the info was released via TMZ that the show could possibly be canceled.  Of course Tila said everyone was "juss jelis" and that it was just a RUMOR and that she had already been filming for it and would be leaving soon (would be tomorrow) to go do some bad acting into her recovery documented via CR. 


But alas, Mister Producer Man called gutterslut a few days back and broke the news to her.


Isn't it funny that we know what she's going to do BEFORE she does it?  I mean how worn out is this bitch that she just has to keep saying the saaaaame shit oooover and oooooover.  It seems that when she's humiliated and doesn't know what else to do she always goes into a "I'm leaving!!!" tantrum.  You know what I mean? Everyone has been in a relationship where you're faggy other half ALWAYS throws this sort of shit around in need of attention.  So would it surprise you to see THIS this morning on Skelewhore's Twitter!?!?

"... but "Celebrity Rehab" has been put on ice because they just can't find a big star with a big problem."  "Most important ... we're told there isn't a big headliner."

Oooooh gooodness!!!   Tila, once again, is the ONLY person that thinks she's ANYONE in Hollywood.  They blatantly say that she's a nobody!  They go on to talk about Lindsay Lohan.  It all makes sense why Tila was trying so desperately to get her attention.  She NEEDED LiLo to take on CR so that SHE could KEEP her TV deal.  Poooor Thien Thing Twat Thong just keeps trying to swim above water but everything she touches turns into quicksand and it is drowning her.  The only person she's fooling with all of these outlandish tales is herself and perhaps a few underage children who have shitty parents and need something, someone to believe in.  She COULD have been a role model and really been an inspiration to these kids that need guidance, instead she'd rather show them how awesome it is to get naked, do drugs, and constantly lie for attention.

...and the world is SHOCKED.  Seriously, just SHOCKED.

So Tila blatantly stole something from The Superficial and posted it.  I know, shock and awe, right?  Except The Superficial seems to be pretty pissed about it.  Here's what they tweeted today:


Whore-hole?  Party with AIDS?  That shit is CLASSIC.  So here's the actual theft referred to in the third tweet:


This is the Superficial's pic.  Check out the file name.  Compare that to Tila's:


WOW.  Tila isn't even smart enough to change the file name!  Tila credits Splash News, but I don't think that's good enough.  Take it to the limit, Superficial!

By the way, the story Tila "broke" is that Heidi (Tila spells her name "Heidi Montage") wants bigger boobs.  Heidi actually began saying that in interviews right after her surgery months ago, and Perez posted about it on February 15, 2010.  You can read it here.   WAY TO BREAK THAT NEWS, TILA.  Fucking idiot.

And now for something really funny.  Tila actually got an exclusive!  She caught Michael Lohan uh...sitting in a car...in front of a club...just sitting there!  WHOO!  You go Tila!


And it only SLIGHTLY reeks of desperation!  (By "slightly" I mean "immensely.")  I love how she's all "omg look Lindsay!  I sent paparazzi to take pictures of your dad!  He's sitting in a car!  He didn't want his picture taken!  Please be my friend now!  I told you girl, I got your back!  Please?"  Great, so your only "exclusive" is nothing but absolute conjecture?  Wow Tila, your gossip blog is obviously changing the world.  It's allowing people to be idiots.  Great.  Way to benefit society there, meth face.

See, Tila army?  This is what you've done because you couldn't get #tilacommitsuicide trending last year.  This is all your fault.

Here's two things I'd love it if Tila could just understand for 2 seconds.
#1: Paparazzi is an Italian word.   Here is the origin:

Origin:
1965–70; < It, from the surname of such a photographer in Federico Fellini's La dolce vita (1959), after the name of a hotelkeeper in George Gissing's By the Ionian Sea (1901), read by Fellini in It trans. at the time of the movie's producton

Thus, Tila, the plural of Paparazzi is PAPARAZZI.  The singular of the word is PAPARAZZO.  One photographer is a PAPARAZZO.  Two or more are PAPARAZZI.  Not PAPARAZZIS.

#2: Your blog is seeing such high numbers because it's new.  Stop comparing yourself to TMZ and bragging that they've been around for years and you've only been around 2 days.  Besides that, people like Michael K (who you bragged about talking about your blog) think it's stupid.  I'm sorry you are too stupid to understand sarcasm, I really am.  Just wait, Tila.  Just wait and see where your numbers are once the shock of this idiot blog wears off.  We all predicted this would happen, you aren't showing anybody up.  Bad press might be press, but it's not gaining you any fans.  Sweetheart, you aren't going to like being famous when everybody hates you.  You can't handle it, you're a suicidal mess.

Ugh, I don't know why I even try.  At least I know she'll read it.  Uncle Eddie loves you, boys and girls!  Uncle Eddie does not love Tila because Tila is stupid.  Uncle Eddie doesn't love stupid.

Later bitches!

Not.

And the gossip blog is up! It actually launched when I was in the middle of typing that last post. I'll sum up my initial thoughts.

1. It looks really cheap. And it's on wordpress. LOL, a "professional" blog on wordpress. Uh huh.

2. This is the best part:



3. Everywhere it refers to itself as "The #1 Gossip Blog in the world." Since it's been up like, 20 minutes, I don't think you can really judge that yet (unless you're a stupid bitch completely up their own ass).

4. She has a section called "Got M.I.L.F?" which consists of 2 pictures of her looking skanky and one picture of Sandra Bullock, also looking kinda skanky. Don't get me wrong, I like Sandy and all, but...well, whatever. The best part of that section is this:

5. She makes a post refuting our claims that Jayden's Angels was a scam. She says she had no address for it - except she did, and we've posted it before. We also have her on ustream two separate times asking for donations - one time saying that anybody who donated would get a "special treat" from Mama T. I bet that special treat is herpes. She then includes emails she apparently sent to people "begging" them to help her set it up. So basically, all she's shown us is that she's too stupid to address the facts (what, was it a fake YOU on ustream soliciting donations, Tila?) and that she never, in fact, had a charity WHICH WE SAID FROM THE BEGINNING.

6. Her letter to Lindsay is hilarious. She begins by acting like she and Lindsay know each other and are friends: "To be honest, I remember us chatting for just a few minutes as there were a lot of fucking lurkers around and you know how that goes. It’s hard for us to keep in contact when those lurkers maybe the same people who will backstab us." Uh huh. She then continues: "I even tried to contact you on your Twitter but fuck all that Twitter bullshit! This is real. This is the only way I know that I can contact you and I KNOW you will read this." LOL. But the best part is this: "I literally told my friends a few days ago that it’s so sad that Me, Miss Tila, Once just a Myspace girl turned Reality star, and I now have surpassed Lindsay Lohan! Girl that is sad!!!! Cuz to me, you were the LEGIT SUPERSTAR, THE MOVIE STAR! And now, you have let a once Reality Star, Miss Tila, Surpass you!!! Come on girl!!!!!!" OUCH. On what fucking planet does Tila fucking meth-mouth Tequila surpass Lindsay Lohan? Okay you guys gotta read it, it's so funny.



She then follows this with like 3 or 4 pictures of HERSELF in New York. Wow.

7. So then I thought "I wonder if I can post screen caps of this shit at the Rotspot for all of our lovely readers?" So I checked out her legal page. HAHAHAHAHAHA.


 Yep, that's it! That's her entire legal page!

8. Wanna know how legit and professional this shit is?


 At least Perez Hilton knows how to use Google when he can't spell someone's name.

9. Speaking of Perez Hilton, does this remind you guys of anything?


 At least Perez Hilton's use of MS Paint is cute in that minimal effort sort of way. Yours, Tila, just looks pathetic.

10. Let's make it an even 10. In case you were wondering, according to Tila, it's Khloe Kardashian "whored herself" at 15.


Uh huh.

Oh and Tila can't let shit go. I know, this comes as a HUGE surprise to you all.


 Jesus Tila, how long ago did you date him? Who the fuck even cares about Jared Leto anymore?

There. It's exactly the train wreck we thought it would be. Don't expect updates often on this shit, because it's a horrible blog and I hate it already. It has no "home" feature (it does, it's just really small) and there's just too much bullshit being thrown at you with surprisingly little information. If she's really been working on this for 4 months, then I'm the goddamn Virgin Mary. Oh no wait, that's Tila. Well, you get my drift. I'm only updating you all on it because you expected it. Don't get me wrong, if she posts something hilarious we'll update you on it. God knows she'll plug it enough on her twitter and facebook. Go if you want, her little poll on whose blog this one will dethrone could always use more votes!

Peace out, bitches!

So remember this post I made a few days ago? Well Tila is STILL up Lindsay's ass, begging for attention.




Oh please Lindsay! Let me latch onto your fame! Oh please! I'm nobody and I'm crashing in Hollywood!

What's that smell? Smells like desperation up in here.

So Tila, you're team Lindsay huh? Then why did you say this?


Isn't it great how nothing on the internet is ever really gone?

And blog update: She's now saying in about 2 hours. That will make it approximately 7 pm West Coast time, 10 pm East Coast time. Wow Tila, you're quickly running out of time to launch it on May 3rd like you PROMISED. Kind of like the April 1st promise...and the March 16th promise...

So tonight Tila tweeted and updated her Facebook, saying she was writing an "epic letter" to Lindsay Lohan.


Okay Tila, I'll bite.  I'm sure this isn't just another desperate clutch at fame and anybody more famous than you.  I mean, you've never done that before, right?

*CoughcoughCaseyJohnsoncoughcough*
*CoughcoughPerezHiltoncoughcough*
*CoughcoughTheGamecoughcough*
*CoughcoughRayJcoughcough*
*CoughcoughAMILLIONOTHERPEOPLEcoughcough*

Oh, excuse me, I had a little coughing fit there.  Ahem, where was I?  Oh yeah.  I'm sure Tila really means this!  Lindsay, Tila is your only hope!  She's totally what you need to restart your career!  Align yourself with what TMZ calls a "tragic trainwreck" and who Time Magazine named one of the 100 Least Influential People of 2010!  Yes, Lilo, Tila is the savior you've been waiting for!

Hey guys, remember not too long ago when E! made the comment about Tila and Lindsay getting together, and Tila thought it was serious and ran with it on twitter?  Making a total ass of herself?

Wow, can you say DELUSIONAL?  Come on, I know that you can.  So I dunno guys, do you think the super helpful open letter Tila is writing is like those tweets?  Or do you think it's like these tweets, taken from over a year ago?


Just sayin'.  (By the way, isn't it funny that Tila's answer is basically just like The Game's response to Tila?)

Tila, stop trying to get Lindsay Lohan's attention.  It just looks pathetic now and nobody in their right mind would take advice from you, unless it was on which corner drug dealer sells the best crack in Hollywood (that would be Hollywood Court on Yucca and Wilton...I mean NO I DON'T KNOW THAT, you bitches crazy), or how to completely ruin your career and become a Hollywood pariah.  Then, Tila, your advice would come in handy.  Just shut the fuck up and go back to bragging about your gossip blog that is going to dethrone Perez Hilton and change the world as we know it.  You know, the one that leaked the other day and everybody laughed at.  The one that is the biggest waste of time and energy since...oh, I dunno, your record label?

Lindsay, you got enough crazy in your life right now.  And Tila "I'm a meth-mouthed fuck-up" Tequila is not even qualified to judge you.  Once you start faking pregnancies for the publicity, then you might condescend to look her way.

I'm out, bitches!

In between all of the other craziness going on it somewhat slipped through the cracks that TT lent out a helping hand to Lindsay Lohan. E! had made a little joke about the two of them hooking up and TT decided to run with it. Someone had asked for the screen caps via twitter today so I went on a hunt for them.