Wait, what am I talking about?  Larry Flynt is the Jesus Christ of bad taste.  He's probably laughing his ass off over this.

Let me begin this post by saying I've been to the Hustler Club in Phoenix.  It's okay.  It's not great by any means, nor is it one of my favorite strip clubs here.  They have a fun Halloween night party.  I consider myself to be somewhat of a mammary ranch aficionado (if you're looking for quality, my top two clubs here are Le Girls Cabaret on Washington or Bliss Showclub on W. Deer Valley Road *plug plug*), and I would be sorely disappointed, and probably infected, if I bothered to go to the Hustler Club in Vegas after seeing these pictures.

Let's go through them, shall we?

Tila has that stupid light in a lot of these pictures.  I think it's because she's got the IQ of a 5 year old and she's entertained by shiny things.  Oh, look.  You can KIND OF see something above her eyebrow.  Call me an asshole (you already do), but the idea of her being permanently scarred from the Gathering of the Juggalos makes me feel all moist and romantic.  Speaking of which:

She was SO CAREFUL not to let her hair move.  This is the only picture with a clear shot.  So yes, you can see that something is there.  Just to be a cunt, how about I point out that it looks like cellulite?  In any case, it's probably because she left the bandages on too long, and I'm sure it's going to heal much more than that.  But, like I said, I couldn't be happier that she's scarred.  It's better than a big ol' scarlet A on her chest.  Ever seen Inglorious Basterds?  Just think of it as the juggalos were Brad Pitt and they didn't want her taking off her whore uniform to pass as a normal person.  Feel better?  God knows I do.

"Hey Tila, can you show us that meth mouth?  Excellent!"  Seriously, that shit bugs me you guys.  I immediately think of Michael K. from DListed and the phrase "meemaw mouth."  I thought she had gum, but looking at it more I think it's just one of many disgusting little Tila traits.  But you be the judge.  And no, don't even ask me what's going on with those tits.  Is that a bandaid?  And what's with the tiny heart on the blond below her bigger heart?  Is that a triple nipple?  Oh god, please tell me it's a triple nipple!

Wow, Tila.  Thanks for ruining it with your hideous fucking O-Face there.  Goddamn.  I call this picture "Uncle Eddie Ruins Your Breakfast, Volume 2."  Tila just thought she was at home because of the sheets hung over the windows.  You know, mogul style.  (I can't let you forget that she also talked about hanging trash bags to keep the sun out, because that is some seriously ghetto shit and I really hope she moguls-out the leased Lambo)

Dear God in Heaven, look at those man-hands.  For fuck's sake!  Oh, and check out how entertained everybody in the background is.  I couldn't find one picture where the crowd was looking at her.  Not even a little girl-on-girl can grab attention for you, skeeze.

This is Tila's "Fuck my fake allergy, pour me another one!" face.  It's very similar to her "LOL I have an army of idiots who believe everything I say LOL" face.  You may have gotten them confused.

The look on that girl's face says it all.  You want to submit any captions?  I recommend this one.  That's a doozy.  Also, why the fuck is there an elevator?  PRO TIP: CONCERN YOURSELF WITH HIRING HOT GIRLS INSTEAD OF DECKING OUT YOUR CLUB.  Can somebody get Hustler Vegas on the phone for me?  I think we need to have a little discussion.

The previous pictures were taken from the Hustler Vegas Facebook page.  The following were sniped from x17online.com as you can obviously tell by their watermark.
It wouldn't be Tila if she didn't show us her death roll.  Fuck sanitation codes, the coffee table LIKES herpes.  And yes, that's a mic in her right hand.  There are other pictures of her singing.  Yes, that's terrible, but let's all just be happy she kept her nasty goblin tits in check.  We all remember what happened last time, don't we?
Sorry guys, I had to.  This fucking picture still haunts my dreams.  (Internet rumor: I have to sleep on plastic sheets because of that face)
And finally...this is my favorite picture of the night.
There's just so much going on, but I'd like to take the opportunity and congratulate Tila on getting the ruined weave removed.  I'm 100% sure the last weave was destroyed by eggs, shit and piss, and faygo a the Gathering, and until this past weekend she merely covered it with hats or scarves.  But now we see the absolute glory of this new one!  Tila, that color is 100x better than the blond you had (that Crazy Horse pic is a perfect example).  However!  That length is terrible on you.  I am tempted to think that's your real hair, but most noticeable are your roots (I think Stevie fucking Wonder could see those roots) and the fact that it looks like one of your tracks is slipping in the back.  That's probably from the death roll you fucking insist on doing at every one of your "appearances."  Poor Tila couldn't afford to get a dye job before this event.  SAD FACE. 

Also!  That's a Kid Rock impersonator!  HA!

You know what's funny?  I can tell she tried extra hard to look good.

Aliens ... er wait ... that was another post. Maybe Allergic to Alcohol!?!? Nope, done that one too. Er hmm, yea yet ANOTHER post. A is for Abortion it's ... no wait! Fuck, that's been done too! Ahem, let's try this again! A is for Adoption i ... I meant, A is for Ambassador it's go...well fuck, it looks like TT has used the whole goddamned dictionary of "A" words to make up stories about her non life! Now, if she could only get on the A-List of celebrities that she's so desperately trying to do.

So back to my song ... *clears throat*

So, Miss Tila (or Lil' Ho as she's being called) was on Fox 411 the other day as part of her "Party with my Syphilis" tour in NY. Here's the video:


Let's break it down! This'll be fun, guys!

Quickly I'd like to mention that she's sooo spontaneous that all of her random tattoos look like prison bitch ink. So classy for such a rich woman indeeeeed!!!

Tila...you're really telling us that "Tila Tequila" was just a screen name you used to log into myspace? REALLY? I mean, you've already bastardized that story a billion times, and now it's JUST A SCREEN NAME? You know, I'm probably being too hard on you. All those drugs probably made you forget what you've previously told your fans whom you love so much. Let's look at this old blog from right here at the Rotspot. Whoever wrote it is obviously brilliant and sexy, but I digress. See that screen cap we show? This one:


See where it says "PS-That is how I got the name "TILA TEQUILA" When I was about 13 or 15 BLAH BLAH BLAH?" Yeah, you see that? What about that, Tila?

OR

What about this, Tila, from one of your blogs at the Hotspot?


Man, poor Carlos! You lied about him! I bet that hurts his little Mexican gangbanger feelings!

And just for funsies, let's listen to what Tila told Howard Stern the other day regarding the name Tila Tequila:



Jesus Christ, Tila. Is it really that hard to come up with a cogent lie and stick with it? Oh shit, wait, I forgot who I was talking to. LOL I said "cogent" while talking to Tila. MY BAD, MISS TILA.

Anyway, let's move on. So she tells this woman from FOX (I'm sorry, I really hate Fox, so I can't be bothered to learn this woman's name) that she doesn't drink Tequila. We've all heard the "I don't drink!" lie before, and we've all disproved it about a billion and a half times. I almost hate to call her a liar on it again.


ALMOST, BITCHES.

This woman from FOX asks "Does Perez know you're coming after him?" I hate to tell you how to do your job, FOX lady (not to be confused with Foxy Lady), but the correct question is "Does Perez GIVE A FLYING FUCK that you're coming after him?" And the answer is a resounding NO.

Next, somebody needs to tell Tila that her life isn't interesting, these lies she tells are interesting. Without those, she's just a sad little girl smoking meth in front of her computer and recording heinous songs using Garage Band while her dog is tied to a stripper pole for eating one of her lucite hooker heels, and her latched-on gay boyfriend with the GIGANTIC forehead and terrifying boomerang brows tells her how pretty she is.

So then she says she doesn't want to talk about the death of Casey because she finds it disrespectful. "Not even how you're coping?" Fox lady asks. Nope, not even then, because Miss Tila finds it disrespectful. Hey Tila, wanna know what I find disrespectful?


THAT is what I find fucking disrespectful. Every time you've mentioned Ava, Casey's daughter, and trying to adopt her (you can find that here amongst other places) it was fucking disrespectful. When you went after the Johnson family after Casey's death:


THAT WAS DISRESPECTFUL. But asking how you're coping? It's stupid, yes, but it's not disrespectful. HER CASH COW IS DEAD, HOW DO YOU THINK SHE'S COPING???? By the way...

CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE INFORM TILA THAT CASEY WAS NOT HER WIFE? In fact, I bet had Casey not died, she would have distanced herself as much as she could from Tila at this point. Everybody does eventually, don't they?

And then, as she always does, Tila brings up the pregnancy. The way she does it is so absolutely fake, it actually makes me laugh. Anybody ever notice that Tila is only good at lying behind a computer screen, not really in person? Stick to your strengths, Tila. Watch her eyes as she's telling Fox lady she was pregnant. No eye contact WHAT SO EVER. And she barely gets through that Angelina Jolie thing. It takes more energy to lie than Tila is willing to expend.

So here's what I don't understand. Why FOX news? Isn't FOX news the most right wing, pro-Prop 8 news agency out there? Way to have principles, Tila.