So, Miss Tila (or Lil' Ho as she's being called) was on Fox 411 the other day as part of her "Party with my Syphilis" tour in NY. Here's the video:


Let's break it down! This'll be fun, guys!

Quickly I'd like to mention that she's sooo spontaneous that all of her random tattoos look like prison bitch ink. So classy for such a rich woman indeeeeed!!!

Tila...you're really telling us that "Tila Tequila" was just a screen name you used to log into myspace? REALLY? I mean, you've already bastardized that story a billion times, and now it's JUST A SCREEN NAME? You know, I'm probably being too hard on you. All those drugs probably made you forget what you've previously told your fans whom you love so much. Let's look at this old blog from right here at the Rotspot. Whoever wrote it is obviously brilliant and sexy, but I digress. See that screen cap we show? This one:


See where it says "PS-That is how I got the name "TILA TEQUILA" When I was about 13 or 15 BLAH BLAH BLAH?" Yeah, you see that? What about that, Tila?

OR

What about this, Tila, from one of your blogs at the Hotspot?


Man, poor Carlos! You lied about him! I bet that hurts his little Mexican gangbanger feelings!

And just for funsies, let's listen to what Tila told Howard Stern the other day regarding the name Tila Tequila:



Jesus Christ, Tila. Is it really that hard to come up with a cogent lie and stick with it? Oh shit, wait, I forgot who I was talking to. LOL I said "cogent" while talking to Tila. MY BAD, MISS TILA.

Anyway, let's move on. So she tells this woman from FOX (I'm sorry, I really hate Fox, so I can't be bothered to learn this woman's name) that she doesn't drink Tequila. We've all heard the "I don't drink!" lie before, and we've all disproved it about a billion and a half times. I almost hate to call her a liar on it again.


ALMOST, BITCHES.

This woman from FOX asks "Does Perez know you're coming after him?" I hate to tell you how to do your job, FOX lady (not to be confused with Foxy Lady), but the correct question is "Does Perez GIVE A FLYING FUCK that you're coming after him?" And the answer is a resounding NO.

Next, somebody needs to tell Tila that her life isn't interesting, these lies she tells are interesting. Without those, she's just a sad little girl smoking meth in front of her computer and recording heinous songs using Garage Band while her dog is tied to a stripper pole for eating one of her lucite hooker heels, and her latched-on gay boyfriend with the GIGANTIC forehead and terrifying boomerang brows tells her how pretty she is.

So then she says she doesn't want to talk about the death of Casey because she finds it disrespectful. "Not even how you're coping?" Fox lady asks. Nope, not even then, because Miss Tila finds it disrespectful. Hey Tila, wanna know what I find disrespectful?


THAT is what I find fucking disrespectful. Every time you've mentioned Ava, Casey's daughter, and trying to adopt her (you can find that here amongst other places) it was fucking disrespectful. When you went after the Johnson family after Casey's death:


THAT WAS DISRESPECTFUL. But asking how you're coping? It's stupid, yes, but it's not disrespectful. HER CASH COW IS DEAD, HOW DO YOU THINK SHE'S COPING???? By the way...

CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE INFORM TILA THAT CASEY WAS NOT HER WIFE? In fact, I bet had Casey not died, she would have distanced herself as much as she could from Tila at this point. Everybody does eventually, don't they?

And then, as she always does, Tila brings up the pregnancy. The way she does it is so absolutely fake, it actually makes me laugh. Anybody ever notice that Tila is only good at lying behind a computer screen, not really in person? Stick to your strengths, Tila. Watch her eyes as she's telling Fox lady she was pregnant. No eye contact WHAT SO EVER. And she barely gets through that Angelina Jolie thing. It takes more energy to lie than Tila is willing to expend.

So here's what I don't understand. Why FOX news? Isn't FOX news the most right wing, pro-Prop 8 news agency out there? Way to have principles, Tila.

Pre-boarding ANY airplane X17 caught up with the slimy gremlin and the ambiguously gay duo to make fun of her to her face while pretending to give a shit and ask questions.  She gets pretty heated about the questions regarding Casey Johnson and her being pregnant.  I mean, no one likes to get backed into a corner when caught in  lie after lie do they?  She goes on and on about Casa and how he tried to use her for money and to get famous - big fuckin' surprise there huh?  The moody bitch missed her flight because she was too busy fuckin' around with the Casa drama OR she intentionally missed it so that he could chase after her and she could cause a big fuckin' scene.  Either way, she explains why she no longer can be flying around in private jets these days.  With the economy and all the self-proclaimed millionairess can't afford to fly around VIP style.  In other words, she hasn't been on a prostitution escapade since she met up with her ambassador friend a month or so back.


I'd also like to point out that she gets so angry about the "miscarriage" story stating that it's not funny to joke about a woman having a miscarriage.  I wonder where she got that idea because she's been throwing it, in vitro, and pregnancy in general around like she throws around used tampons.  I mean, she even compared a miscarriage (the day AFTER this supposed tragedy)  to  a pair of designer Louis Vuitton shoes.  If you'd had the miscarriage the night before Miss Mongrel, er I mean Mogul, then why would you be wearing white tights?  And why did you lie to people afterwards?  You said you just dropped it so everyone thinks you were never pregnant and lying but that's not REALLY the reason everyone thinks KNOWS you're lying.  You kept tweeting after your fake miscarriage that you were still pregnant and that everyone was just hating.  Hating on what?  That you're scum of the earth?  Because honey, there is NOTHING to be jealous of.  I've seen toothless tranny prostitutes that are more appealing than you.

It seems that today was a busy busy BUSY day around twitter. Lots of information seemed to be spewed from all angles....it was a little difficult to wrap my head around...although that could have just been because I was inebriated...this love affair with Jack is gonna kill me, but that's a diff story...

There were some busy little beavers loitering around twitterville this morning. And I'd just like to say that we had been given the information that was posted(and then some), but weren't exactly sure what could and/or should be done with it.




However, in light of today's events, I've basically taken it upon myself to determine that I believe the poster and their affiliates 100%. "How can you know?" you might ask....well you see, it seems like the rotten twat Tila confirmed the information herself just by tweeting one of the antagonizers.



And now, that I'm using this thinker-cap of mine...I've remembered some previous tweets where Tila not only changed the sex of her baby, but also mentioned "helping a lost girl"...


I suppose I shouldn't be surprised at how vile this creature is...but honestly, I'm damn near at a loss for words....and THAT is saying A WHOLE HELLUVA LOT!!!!

We will update as more information becomes available
<3

Look at this gorgeous example of womanhood, ladies and gentlemen.


As you can see, this picture was taken of Tila at LAX as she was leaving us for her whirlwind tour to Australia. You know, the one where she called out the wrong name of the city she was in...but can you blame her?

"When u tour in so many cities & fly out every single day, u sometimes tend to forget what city ur in next." Gosh Tila, I'm sure that doing this for a whole three days really is taxing. I mean, wow. Everybody golf clap for Tila.

Anyway bitches, let's get back on topic. Last night we all saw the most epic fail ever on the internets when Tila claimed she had a miscarriage when that mean ol' chair fell on her. That happened 28 days ago. I know this because her old account is still accessible at celebritytweet.com. Way over on page 36 you can read about the chair falling on her. Or you can just gaze upon it here in a lovely screen cap:

(Side note: You can go to pages 29 and 30 to see her having severe pain and going to the doctor as soon as the the office opens O WAIT NEVERMIND LOLOLOLOL the day before leaving for Australia)
So if you count 28 days ago, that's February 13. She performed in Adelaide on February 18. That means, math wizards, that picture of Tila at the airport was taken February 17 - 4 DAYS AFTER A MISCARRIAGE.

Can we consider this for a moment? I mean, look at the smile on her face. Is that the smile of a woman who just lost a baby? That sentence doesn't even make sense. Who the fuck smiles after losing a baby? And for fuck's sake WHO THE FUCK WEARS WHITE LEGGINGS 4 DAYS AFTER A MISCARRIAGE?

Tila? Real talk - you fail. No, seriously. You fail.

Oh fuck me, I love waking up to happy little surprises in my inbox. This morning I was given a wonderful one!!! It's ALMOST better than Christmas....

It started at about 9 pm last night....Tila started ranting and going on an on...and on some more....by the time I went to bed, she'd proposed to randoms, admitted she had a crush on another girl, professed her love to Casey, professed her love to strangers, pleaded for a baby daddy...lather, rinse repeat.....However, the REAL fun happened when a couple of the haters started goading her....As we all know, as soon as shit starts spewing from her mouth, you have to capture that shit because Tila freaks the fuck out and goes on a deleting frenzy....oh Tila Tila Tila, you're NOT fooling us...don't you get this...everyday while you're losing fans, we're gaining them....<3
So you see!!! I don't want to boast about my psychic abilities again because, really, we ALL knew this was the case.....BUT WTF TILA!!! So it seems like the day mean old hater chair threw itself fell on her, it caused her to dent her head and in fact miscarry.

She also goes on to ADMIT to In Vitro in her ever eloquent way, and announces at last who the Dr. is....
What Tila doesn't understand though, is that NO doctor will do the In Vitro process with a woman who has "just suffered a miscarriage"....at the time Tila had this supposed miscarriage, she was supposedly 15 weeks pregnant (Remember the emails!!)

At 15 weeks, she would surely have needed a D&C....and would NOT have been flying to Australia and strutting her skanky ass around in white leggings....
Most Dr's will not even suggest doing In Vitro after miscarriage for atleast 2-3 months...however, you will get the odd one that may do it after 1 cycle....THIS IS VERY RARE!!!
You see, your body has to go back to normal...hormones have to disperse, uterus has to shrink back, etc....So Tila, we here at the Rotspot are calling bullshit again you tricky little demon-spawn. Either you're lying about the whole pregnancy before *GASP* (now THAT'D be a shocker) or you're lying about THIS pregnancy too...*GASP* ( ANOTHER shocker)....
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say there is no baby folks...you know why? Because I'm a fucking genius....and a genius with a hangover has GOT to stand for something!!!

UPDATE:
It's just come to my attention that Tila's Dr's name is not in fact DANZA, but DANZER!!! LMAO! What woman spends that kind of money on an In Vitro procedure and doesn't know her Dr's name?!
He is rated one of the top 10 fertility specialists in the country according to Parent Magazine...
stand by...we'll be finding out shortly if he "works on Sunday" as Tila stated before....
AHAHAHAHA, I gotta go take a piss from laughing so hard.


I guess this means we can officially rule out Tony Danza as the baby daddy too....whew....

UPDATE: So being the super duper awesome Jedi junior detective that I am...I actually CALLED Dr. Danzer's office personally.
I explained to them that I had just suffered a 15 week miscarriage 3 weeks ago...
The nurse I spoke with was wonderful. She was very kind, polite and knowledgeable. She was also quite shocked when I had explained that I'd suffered a miscarriage at that stage, and asked if I was still spotting or bleeding. (which you see, is ACTUALLY very normal) She informed me that they are in fact open 7 days a week, but that Dr. Danzer would not recommend starting the In Vitro process, until at least 1 full cycle had passed, AFTER bleeding had stopped completely from the miscarriage....**keep in mind...in vitro involves a lot of medications, as well as medical visits, ultrasounds, embryo transfers etc...they also advise you to not put your body through excessive stress, and to get plenty of rest....I'm pretty sure staying up until 4 or 6 am is frowned upon.**

So you see....caught again Tila dear...


UPDATE: WHAT TO EXPECT WITH IVF
For those of you who aren't familiar with the IVF process, here is what you can typically expect....
**special thanks to Stacey for condensing it for those of us with A.D.D**
How long will the treatment last?

One cycle of IVF takes four to six weeks to complete. You and your partner can expect to spend about half a day at your clinic for the egg retrieval and fertilisation procedures. You'll go back two to three days later for the embryos to be transferred to your uterus

They give u injections for 10 days and you have to be on the 3rd day of your period to start treatment

The First Steps for IVF--Bloodwork
Your doctor will want to do blood work to check your hormone levels and make sure you are free of HIV and hepatitis. Once the results of these tests are obtained, the IVF cycle can begin.
Ovarian Supression
Many clinics will have you begin injecting a drug like Lupron during the cycle before IVF. These injections suppress the ovaries to prevent them from ovulatingearly.
Ovarian Stimulation
Once your period begins, you will have an ultrasound and more blood work. You will then begin a second set of daily injections to stimulate the ovaries. You will administer both medications until egg retrieval two weeks later.
Egg Retrieval and Transfer
The night before retrieval is scheduled you will administer an injection of hCG, which will cause you to ovulate. After the eggs are retrieved, they will be fertilized and transferred back to your uterus as embryos a few days later.
Progresterone Support and Pregnancy Testing
After egg transfer, it is necessary to take progesterone until pregnancy is confirmed. From start to finish, one IVF cycle takes four to six weeks.

Good news everyone!!! Tila's confirmed a different due date for us all!!! That pesky thing called memory must have come back, and she remembered her Dr said that her due date would be
Dec 1st plus or minus 10 days....and not "sometime in December, plus or minus 10 days"


But that's weird...because that would mean her conception date would have been Wednesday March 10, 2010....I'm going to go out on a limb here and acknowledge that this is a different pregnancy than the fetus she's had in her stomach since Dec....because we all know Tila doesn't lie....Eduardo pointed out to us where she says so herself....and I know Radar Online wouldn't have been so irresponsible as to post an image of her ultrasound when she wasn't really even pregnant yet....
So, let's all assume she really is having twins, with different gestational sacs and dates of conceptions (HEY!! WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE, IT HAPPENS TO CATS!! LULZ)...that would mean all of the cravings she's had all along are completely founded, right?

Pfft, WRONG! Silly readers, she can't have 2 different conception dates!!! So now, this leads us to assume that maybe THIS time around, she really is getting knocked up....which would mean she's approximately 2 DAYS pregnant....and that's even considering that the In Vitro actually worked, AND that the embryo implants into her uterus....(expect for her to tell us in 10 days she's spotting)...which would in turn mean absolutely NO SYMPTOMS!!!! NOT TIRED, NOT PUKING, or anything else she's trying to conjure up out of thin fucking air.

But I guess the jokes on us, none of us know the truth. When you're pregnant your Dr. only gives you a "very open vague window of birth"...right? This means all you women with actual physical due dates...your Ob/Gyn has been lying to you, because TILA SAYS THAT IS NOT HOW THEY DO IT!!! *eye roll*

Please tune in later today for more of "Days of our Tila lives".

Alright you guys...so I've decided to come forth and bring to you all my full psychic ability. Many of you may not have known that I can read tea leaves from the palm of your hand, and that I am proficient in reading the ancient roman tarot....It won't surprise you to find out that I have a masters in being able to read and decipher pure bullshit....so here goes...predictions on the future route of Tila's pregnancy by a certified psychic gnome....

1. She's going to claim that she did in fact lose her baby when that mean old hater chair attacked fell on her, and she dented her head.
2. She's going to say that she's decided to subject herself to the trials and trauma of In Vitro because she is still devastated over the loss of Casey, and she made a promise to her.....
3. It's going to come out that this "pregnancy" is all for a TV show...probably backed by the very disturbed respectable Joe Francis. And she will in turn be exploiting what countless women struggle with and can never have.....not because she wants a baby...but simply because she wants to prove a point and attempt to make a buck.
4. This "tv show" will probably be hosted on her blog....

*opens eyes*
These are just a few that are coming to the forefront of my brain....I'll get back to you after I finish this 5th of whiskey....

*drops the mic*

So we here at the Rotspot received an email from a loyal reader who contacted the people who just recently interviewed Tila....I'll let you guys put the pieces together...but please make sure you pay special attention to where they say she's not pregnant...that's my favorite part! *grins*

Oh that Tila...she always keeps us guessing doesn't she. It seems the insane leprechaun has discovered the wonderful word of google translate!!! NEAT!!! *golf claps* Now, she can talk in spanish, and it'll be code word, and no one will be able to tell what she's saying!!! Tila, you should have used piglatin...at least I'd have given you props for being a creative retard. But nope...sadly, just a retard.

OMIGAW LOOKIT U GUYS..LIKE TILA'S TOTALLY HAVING TWINS!!!!! *eye roll, gagging noise*

Now...remember those previous pregnancy posts I just did....let's talk about that for a moment shall we...

Here's the precious little gremlin from her "tour" to Australia in Feb. (18, 19, 20)....super DUPER pregnant with twins here!! wow....keep in mind, she's supposed be a little over 15 weeks here.....weird...

let's go back to the ultrasounds....
her "12/13 week ultrasound" sure doesn't show 2 babies :) Twin pregnancies can be detected by ultrasound between 6-8 weeks.


Oh Tila Tila Tila...I stand behind everything I say....you my dear midget leprechaun are a fucking moron!!!

So, because the dirty whore Tila decided she wants to "call out our blog"...I've decided to put the bitch on full blast and note a few of her best/worst tweets. But before I do, I'd once again like to acknowledge Tila's presence here at the Rotspot by simply blowing her a kiss.

Ok, so where to begin, where to begin.....I guess let's just start with this....I mean, after all "go big or go home" right? Tila decides it'll be fun to play a little game and see who wants to breast feed off of her growing mammary glands...
this is where even I went "WHOA!!! WHAT IN THE FUCK?!"...so please be advised that the following few screen capped tweets, are VERY DISTURBING!!! To see them for yourselves, click HERE


You guys still with me? Whew...sorry about that...you're all safe to open your eyes again....
Next we have Tila encouraging everyone to "sign up for her hotspot dating site"..as it's "free"....
wait...but Tila dear, if it's FREE, why are you charging...and how are you verifying that these people are 18+, since you state that "you'll be stripping and sexing your wifey"


Then we have her threatening to sue the people who are screen capping evidence of minors in the actual chat room that she just spammed everyone to join....tsk tsk tsk Tila...what were you afraid of?


There will be more to come soon...this is just a little appetizer for all of you...my beloveds <3

Alright, so while I personally don't give 2 shits about whether or not Tila Tequila is actually pregnant, I know that's a huge topic of conversation right now...so I've gone through the pain of reading her delirious tweets to produce for all you beautiful readers a consecutive time line....because I love you.

THE DATES MIGHT BE OFF BY A DAY OR TWO....KEEPING TRACK OF HER TWITTER-RHEA IS PRETTY TOUGH....

Dec 20, 2009:
Tila announces she's going to be a surrogate for her brother and his wife....awww, Tila, you precious little alien...how generous and thoughtful of you. She explains that the process "takes a couple of months, and she'll find out in about 2 months whether it worked or not"

Dec 26 2009: She slowly starts shifting focus away from being a surrogate by hinting that there's "pieces she didn't tell the media".....I'm guessing the fact that her brother was probably mortified and disgusted by his dear sibling

Dec 31 2009: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Tila tweets about partying it up and how big her tits are gonna get....*yawn*



Jan 27 2010: Tila announces to everyone that she's sick, puking, eating, shitting and puking some more....and is currently in her "first trimester, whatever that means".....Tila, the first trimester is weeks 1-12

She gives Radar.online her sonogram picture, and its barely a visible sac...this is where her tales start to go awry...



Feb 1 2010: Tila let's the world know she's officially 13 weeks pregnant. Somewhere right around this time Radar.online tags along with her, and we catch her chowing down tacos, modeling lingerie, and then the baby daddy drama ensues....she tells Radar.online "this is what the first trimester looks like"...but she's too fucking retarded to realize, that ended the week prior....

Feb 13 2010: We receive the emails from Tila stating that she was 15 weeks pregnant, but is no more...due to her chair mishap, and resulting miscarriage.... to read those emails, click HERE


Fast forward to present....by my scientific calculations, backed up by her constant tweets....
Tila, dear...you would be approximately 18-52 weeks pregnant this week. (it's really very hard to tell, because you jump around so much...forgive my accuracy here) Make sure you note that somewhere when you call out all of us "mean haters"...
Since last week, she's seen the crack dealer "baby dr" "atleast 4 times...and he even saw her on Sunday, because he's one of the top 10 best dr's in the world"

I expect the birth announcement any day now...either that, or the breaking news that she's snatched a newborn from the hospital. Keep an eye out my dears. <3

They confirm what we already know. "....where she found herself performing to literally tens of people." "...presumably to make it look like a paparazzi ambush." And talks about her arriving on her "budget JetStar flight" flanked with "five men".

Ok...so we all know that a lot can happen in anyones life in the span of 24 hours...an axis can shift, poles can reverse, babies can be born, dreams can me made or destroyed....blah blah blah....BUT if you're Tila Tequila, it only takes you 8 hours and the whole fucking solar system can practically stop orbiting the sun.....
I read through her latest round of tweets, and I swear to God I've seen a puppy with a straighter train of thought...I did my best to pull out the high points...but fuck, there was a lot of shit to cover.....

So first...we have Tila proclaiming that she's NOT going back to LA...but rather going to go live in Texas to be with her "one and only"...Keep in mind this is a woman, who by all rhyme and reason should STILL be mourning the fiance she was so madly in love with...




Next we have her asking her very YOUNG and VERY naive fan Lissy (FROM GERMANY) to come live with her...then 2 tweets later, she retracts her offer....(Just so you guys know...THIS part is actually very sad to me...I feel soooo sad for Lissy...she worships this pathetic waste of skin, and all Tila can do is take her hopes and dreams and shit on them)....




Here, we have Tila talking about her adoption again...only THIS time, she states that she's IN THE MIDDLE of adopting this Russian child, and that "the process takes about a year, so I have time..." although, if you remember correctly, she stated that she was going to go to Russia after her Australian tour, and that not only was she APPROVED, but that the adoption was almost done....



Then she states that her and her baby daddy are going to get tattoo's when she gets home....(um...newsflash gremlin, pregnant women CAN NOT get tattoos....and NO tattoo artist would even think about doing it)




This is quite possibly the best couple of tweets out of this rant that there is.....she decides she's getting married!!! (wonder who the poor sapped she conned is)....THEN she completely changes directions and proclaims to the world that she was beat up recently!!! *GASP* (since when does throwing yourself down, and hitting your stomach with a chair qualify as abuse?)




And last but not least we get to witness her having a simple little domestic discussion with her soon to be hubby....because after all, doesn't everyone argue with their significant others via twitter?



Whew....I'm honestly not sure what to do or say here.....do I offer congrats or condolences? I can't even keep track of how many times her brain switched gears....
One thing's to be said....this whore gets crazier and crazier as each hour ticks by, I'll be expecting the drug induced crash rants as soon as her plane touches down.....

UPDATE:This is the tweet where she stated she was SINGLE...about 8 hours prior to her happy engagement