Tila claims here that she's addicted to prescription painkillers. Ok. That's noble of her to admit she has an addiction, and even more noble to seek help. Of course, this being Tila, she never does anything because it's noble, but that's besides the point. Continue on with the blog:

Leading the pack the attention whore is rallying up her team of 12 year olds to put on their whore paint war paint and gstrings to fight the big bad war against the "jail-us" haters!  In her newest rant she goes on being her narcissistic self, talking about how self righteous and loving that she is.  She gives her pack of idiots a pat on the back and tells them how brave, courageous, and devoted they are.  I think she's actually shocked that anyone is still around after the fake suicide wanna-be attempt.  You can tell that she is hanging on to anything she can get her grimy little skelewhore fingers on.  My FAVORITE part has to be about posting our "ugly" pictures and all of our personal information all the while talking about how compassionate she is for human life.  OH WAAAIT!!  NOOOO!   THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART!!  Okay ... Did you guys know HOW the "Tila Army" fan club was formed?  Well you are in for a big surprise of shit - your - pants - awesomesauceyness - treat!!!  And it seems we're all going to have lawl-suits filed against us and end up in jail, INCLUDING Radar Online!  Hahahahaahahaha!   Enjoy, I know I did!  Thanks for the entertainment!

So...Tila's continuing her stupid fucking bullshit of going up and down, up and down, UP AND DOWN with this Rehab shit.  Today she shared with us the news WE ALREADY FUCKING KNEW - that Celebrity Rehab has been postponed.  Just so you know, here's TMZ talking about it on May 17th.  In fact, if you ask Tila's good friend Mr. Google about "Celebrity Rehab 4 postponed," there are COUNTLESS entries stating it.  So thanks, Tila, we already knew it.  Anyway, here's her stupid rambling bullshit.  I've underlined the parts that are particularly intriguing.

Okay, now if you've read that, I doubt I have to say HOW MUCH THIS FUCKING PISSES ME OFF, because I'm sure you're just as pissed off with her stupid bullshit.  But let's go through it, just for funsies.

First off, you fucking idiot meth mouth, what the fuck are you addicted to?  Because I thought it was Ambien, but Ambien isn't opiate (or opium) based.  Here's a lovely screen cap about Ambien:


Also, I learned that excretion for Ambien is 56% renal, and 34% fecal.  Huh, you learn something new every day.  Anyway, so what the fuck is she saying she's on?  Painkillers now?  Or doesn't she even know at this point?  And I love how she says "OMG I'd love to shoot up [heroin] sooooo much."  Yeah, that's a great fucking example for your Army of morons, Tila.  Awesome.

Okay here's the part I'm sure is making most of you rip your fucking hair out.  I wanted to make sure I pointed out how many times she says "well, since they aren't filming until July, I'm gonna keep poppin' that shit!"  She says it a ton of times, then says how determined she is.  BITCH, IF YOU WERE DETERMINED, YOU'D STOP TAKING WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU'RE TAKING.  And don't give me that fucking bullshit about $30,000 a month for rehab.  For fuck's sake, Tila, it took me a whole 5 seconds to find a FREE rehab facility in LA.  It's only one of many, I just wanted to prove a point.  Also, not all rehab centers are $30,000 a month, and I don't even know if Promises is for that matter.  GUESS WHAT IDIOT, YOU CAN TRAVEL OUT OF STATE, OR TO A DIFFERENT PART OF THE STATE.  Jesus.  I bet if she called Dr. Drew and was like "I really need to get clean and I can't wait," he'd get her ass in rehab faster than my hero Nomi Malone would shove a skank's ass down the stairs to steal her part in Showgirls.

I'm just so disgusted by this bitch.  And the worst part?  Well, you guys might not think it's the worst part, but it sure as fuck pisses me off.  She ends this little diatribe with that fucking picture she took with her pill bottles fully in the shot.  FULLY IN THE SHOT.  I remember when we posted on that, a few of you thought maybe she set that shit up.  Well, wonder no more, because now she can use it to her advantage.  And as if that's not bad enough, this is how she advertised this Dear Diary entry on Facebook:


Oh wow, look what fucking picture she's using!  In case you don't know, you can cycle through any picture used in the link you're posting on Facebook to pick an appropriate one.  I know this because I constantly pimp my posts here out on my Facebook, and I also know that the first picture is usually the one it selects, and you have the option to choose another one.  SO TILA CHOSE THIS ONE.

Oh, but she does give us all hope.  She says "that really does hurt and makes me want to take even more drugs to numb the pain out."  Good!  We'll keep going then!  FUCK.  I really want this bitch to die.  I'm sorry, I know that makes me a terrible person, but you can all suck my dick.  Seriously.  She's an atrocious human being.  I mean, way to fucking MOCK addiction - not that I'm surprised, you've mocked everything else that's tragic, like rape and miscarriage - and prove to us all that you're just doing it for TV.  And just in case you don't believe she's doing it all for TV time (yes, I know you readers aren't brain dead chimps, I know you're aware that she's just doing it to be on TV), here's the bottom half of her post from last night.

Yes, it's all stupid bullshit, like always, but notice the tag that says "spin off?"  I'm assuming that just like CR was HER NEW SHOW ABOUT HER LIFE (LOL) that Sober House is going to be her "spin off" show.  The reality is - BITCH YOU AREN'T GOING TO GET A SPIN OFF, STOP TRYING.  THEY OFFERED IT TO LINDSAY LOHAN, NOT YOU, YOU FUCKING TRAGIC MIDGET WHORE GOBLIN.

Uncle Eddie is so sick of this bitch.

It seems that Tila just doesn't get it.  I mean we called you out on your ORIGINAL EXXXCLUSIVE outfit for the "Maxim party" so why in the world do you think you can get away with MORE LIES!?!?  Ohhh that's right!  That Ambien that you snort gives you hallucinations and delusional thoughts.  I guess Tila expects everyone else to be a drug addict and live in her little la la land.

Personally made for YOU huh Tila??  That's pretty funny because for a whopping buck sixty-five I can get the EXACT same jacket, minus the bedazzling that 9Head added to it.  I swear you need to stop using the same belt and shoes over and over to try and make "new" outfits.  It really makes you look stupid.  Seriously.  Look, Rotty here is just trying to help you out!!

...sound familiar!??! Admitting you have a problem, right? But ONLY if it lands you a TV deal!! That's right folks.




Uncle Eddie brought you the EXCLUSIVE (I'm sooo fucking sick of that word btw) on Tila's NEW FANCY reality show just a couple days back following her promises of not being a user! You see, it seems that miss Airhead wants help NOW that they want to PAY her to be on TV again. Awww! As you guys are aware TMZ busted the EXCLUSIVE story on Alien Airheads step back onto reality TV! They also go on to talk about the article in her blog that NO ONE can seem to find anymore. Tila WHY do you delete shit after you put it up? I mean, you KNOW the world has already got it ... I know, I know ... it's so you can say everyone are just big jellis hatrz and all we can do is lie to make ourselves look better. (Psst, that's actually YOU darling)! I think one of your fighting personalities is trying to tell you something ;)

Aliens ... er wait ... that was another post. Maybe Allergic to Alcohol!?!? Nope, done that one too. Er hmm, yea yet ANOTHER post. A is for Abortion it's ... no wait! Fuck, that's been done too! Ahem, let's try this again! A is for Adoption i ... I meant, A is for Ambassador it's go...well fuck, it looks like TT has used the whole goddamned dictionary of "A" words to make up stories about her non life! Now, if she could only get on the A-List of celebrities that she's so desperately trying to do.

So back to my song ... *clears throat*

Ok...so....it's recently come to my attention that I am in jail. For what you might ask? Well, I honestly don't know...we're gonna have to ask the twats posting it on Tila's blog...but I'm gonna go with the fact that I'm dangerously good looking, and have a wicked sense of humor. But as I sit here with my ass in the slammer, I decided I'd post a little about Tila's very obvious narcotic obsession...because I LOVE YOU!!!!......

The dirty mole Tila's always professing to the world that she DOES NOT DO DRUGS!!! *insert raucous laughter here* Now, anyone that has suffered from, or has a loved one who has suffered from ANY addiction will tell you, that at some point they will have vehemently denied having any involvement...(it's a little thing called denial darlings)..Below is a cap taken from just a few days ago where Tila admits to jokes about wanting to do coke...she quickly changes her tune and realizes the word vomit she let "slip"....


 Of course, she was only "joking"...as she would never touch the stuff...she claims to hate it....

Luckily for all of you, the wonderful detectives(s) over at TilaTruth have found quite a bit of incriminating evidence about the mogul we all despise. It seems that the porn muppet Miss Tila indulges herself with an epic concoction of hallucination inducing meds... (You can read TilaTruth's blog about this here)