My my my it seems that the dirty midget has been rather busy "this morning"....or so she'd like us all to believe....

First, she makes sure to hype up her never anticipated flog postings....biding for more time to be creative I assume.....telling everyone that she's exhausted, but she can't fall asleep..and begging her fans to stick it out with her...


But what do we have?! UH OHS!! The porn muppet Tila closes her eyes for only a SPLIT second and her hoodrat "gangsta" alter ego "Jane" appears....alas, Jane fails the resistance....but don't you worry your pretty little heads, Tila comes to just in time to blog AND tweet about the entire ordeal....who needs 911 when you have the internet right?



And look at that bitches, she's setting the stage for another delusional escapade personality to make an appearance... "Little Tila"...I'm curious as to what this one has gone through...probably molestation and child trafficking...because Tila hasn't exploited either one of those things yet....


MOVING RIGHT ALONG, a little more research shows that this picture isn't current....the motherfucker was taken on 6/2....3 fucking days ago!!!


Notice the date of the original....then the modify date? It's seriously laughable to me that the dirty bitch is trying to actually make her army of tweens believe this shit!!!! You're telling me Tila, (waves and flips the bird) that while you were bleeding profusely, and "meet" was pouring out of your arms, you had time to modify the picture and add your watermark? (which is a different one than you usually post...how original of you) Are you fucking kidding me?

Also, notice the precariously placed baggies of "narcotics"? Well fuck, I know that if I was going to stage a photo op take pictures of my wounds from my cell phone that I'd sure as shit make sure I had the drugs in there....fake blood, check....baggies of wannabe drugs, check....narcissistic famewhore, check.....

It seems though, that there's been a break in the case. She's filming a video for evidence, because there were actually 2 people there!!! *gasp* Meanwhile, she's still updating her shitty blog...because well, she "perseveres".

Worry not, it seems now that "Jane" has left, and Tila locked the doors....LMAO!!! Locked the doors? God, you just couldn't make this shit up....or wait....yes you could.


And what better way to get an out pouring of sympathy from the young and perverted? You threaten and scream at them...


I can see though, how tweeting and posting pictures makes people LESS cruel than calling a doctor....Tila, at least the doctors and nurses would have to PRETEND to like you....we on the other hand...we're all pointing and laughing....I'd just like to say for next time....it's "down the river, not across the stream". *smiles politely*

It's disgusting that all of this is a shameless ploy to get hits on her blog....it is however humorous to me that she's finally realizing that she's neither popular OR creative enough to keep traffic there without some sort of "traumatic incident"....cleanup on aisle 4...I repeat, cleanup on aisle 4...


UPDATE: Listen to her very clear kind of crazy....she reminds me of the exorcist bitch...I wish we could see her face to see whether or not her heads spinning around....


Hey, Rotty up here. You know ... this really irritates the fuck out of me. She's making all of this shit up. I mean, this picture was taken three fuckin' days ago and she's trying to pass it off because she thinks everyone is a fuckin' idiot. And who fuckin' videos this shit? Really? She mocks everything. I can't wait until the day they find her fuckin' dead and I can mock that shit. I'm going to ride on your coattails then you fuckin' murderess tramp! I'm seriously so fuckin' disgusted that she is making kids think this is COOL. She's also posting pictures and videos all the while tweeting about this shit all over the fuckin' internet and no one is doing anything about it? I fuckin' guarantee you that if I even THREATENED to do some shit like that my local PD would be all up in my shit taking me to rehab. This is just fuckin' ridiculous. She has these kids posting shit up like this:

Ok...so....it's recently come to my attention that I am in jail. For what you might ask? Well, I honestly don't know...we're gonna have to ask the twats posting it on Tila's blog...but I'm gonna go with the fact that I'm dangerously good looking, and have a wicked sense of humor. But as I sit here with my ass in the slammer, I decided I'd post a little about Tila's very obvious narcotic obsession...because I LOVE YOU!!!!......

The dirty mole Tila's always professing to the world that she DOES NOT DO DRUGS!!! *insert raucous laughter here* Now, anyone that has suffered from, or has a loved one who has suffered from ANY addiction will tell you, that at some point they will have vehemently denied having any involvement...(it's a little thing called denial darlings)..Below is a cap taken from just a few days ago where Tila admits to jokes about wanting to do coke...she quickly changes her tune and realizes the word vomit she let "slip"....


 Of course, she was only "joking"...as she would never touch the stuff...she claims to hate it....

Luckily for all of you, the wonderful detectives(s) over at TilaTruth have found quite a bit of incriminating evidence about the mogul we all despise. It seems that the porn muppet Miss Tila indulges herself with an epic concoction of hallucination inducing meds... (You can read TilaTruth's blog about this here)

So as you guys know by now, our favorite Meth-Mouthed Midget Mogul moved from her old "mansion" into her new "mansion" a few months ago, and recently the address of said "mansion" was leaked on the internets. Oh, you crazy internets and the wonders you behold. And, as we all previously knew, it's the swankiest mansion in all of Hollywood!

Oh wait, it's not? It's just an apartment complex?


Oh. Damn. I believed Tila this time! Okay real talk, no I didn't. Nobody did. Because we all saw the pictures she posted and we aren't idiots. I mean really, is anybody surprised at this revelation? I'm more surprised that Tila was dumb enough to have her actual name on her bills, which is supposedly how somebody found her. And I love that Mr. Forehead himself (Bradshaw for those of you who haven't been introduced to his massive dome yet) was dumb enough to have geo tracking on his tweets. Nice job, you fabulous trendsetter, you!

Okay so what do we know about Tila's apartmansion? Well a simple google search of the address (which Uncle Eddie is not going to post here. It's not hard to find and if any of the other FINE ladies of the Rotspot want to update this post and put it up, go right ahead. After you send Uncle Eddie pictures of your boobs, that is. Yes, again. Uncle Eddie needs fresh pics!) reveals something hilarious:


 I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Uncle Eddie doesn't exactly trust this report. It's funny and all, and maybe I'm just a big fat pessimist...

Oh fuck it, let's laugh that Tila's apartmansion has bed bugs!

So why did she move? Well, it's taken us a long time to find out why. There's been tons of speculation. Was she evicted? Was it really filled with too many memories of her cash cow Casey?

NEITHER!

Here it is, exactly WHY Tila moved!


 OMG Tila, I have an open mind! Tell me more!


...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Jesus fucking Christ.

Okay let's be serious here. Which is scarier, bed bugs or aliens? That's a tough one. I mean, choosing between little bugs that nibble on you while you're sleeping and an OBVIOUSLY CRAZY DRUG PSYCHOSIS. That's a tough one. Tila, which one do you think is scarier?


No doubt.

Ok...so we all know that a lot can happen in anyones life in the span of 24 hours...an axis can shift, poles can reverse, babies can be born, dreams can me made or destroyed....blah blah blah....BUT if you're Tila Tequila, it only takes you 8 hours and the whole fucking solar system can practically stop orbiting the sun.....
I read through her latest round of tweets, and I swear to God I've seen a puppy with a straighter train of thought...I did my best to pull out the high points...but fuck, there was a lot of shit to cover.....

So first...we have Tila proclaiming that she's NOT going back to LA...but rather going to go live in Texas to be with her "one and only"...Keep in mind this is a woman, who by all rhyme and reason should STILL be mourning the fiance she was so madly in love with...




Next we have her asking her very YOUNG and VERY naive fan Lissy (FROM GERMANY) to come live with her...then 2 tweets later, she retracts her offer....(Just so you guys know...THIS part is actually very sad to me...I feel soooo sad for Lissy...she worships this pathetic waste of skin, and all Tila can do is take her hopes and dreams and shit on them)....




Here, we have Tila talking about her adoption again...only THIS time, she states that she's IN THE MIDDLE of adopting this Russian child, and that "the process takes about a year, so I have time..." although, if you remember correctly, she stated that she was going to go to Russia after her Australian tour, and that not only was she APPROVED, but that the adoption was almost done....



Then she states that her and her baby daddy are going to get tattoo's when she gets home....(um...newsflash gremlin, pregnant women CAN NOT get tattoos....and NO tattoo artist would even think about doing it)




This is quite possibly the best couple of tweets out of this rant that there is.....she decides she's getting married!!! (wonder who the poor sapped she conned is)....THEN she completely changes directions and proclaims to the world that she was beat up recently!!! *GASP* (since when does throwing yourself down, and hitting your stomach with a chair qualify as abuse?)




And last but not least we get to witness her having a simple little domestic discussion with her soon to be hubby....because after all, doesn't everyone argue with their significant others via twitter?



Whew....I'm honestly not sure what to do or say here.....do I offer congrats or condolences? I can't even keep track of how many times her brain switched gears....
One thing's to be said....this whore gets crazier and crazier as each hour ticks by, I'll be expecting the drug induced crash rants as soon as her plane touches down.....

UPDATE:This is the tweet where she stated she was SINGLE...about 8 hours prior to her happy engagement