Here is a guest post, highlighting the LUXURIOUS and SENSUAL Mr. Bradshaw.  It was written by my facebook husband/internets lolyer, Jon Bukan.

Well HELLO Gems! It's ME.. your bedazzling cohort, The Other Mr. B.. Bukan that is. And today GEMS, we are going to have a little look at our favourite glue gun fashonista. Mr. Bradshaw. Stylist to the Stars. Ok, Stylist to quite a few celebs that no one likes/cares about/ are washed up.

Oh and If I jump from the first to the Third person, try to keep up. It's how we do it in WeHo.
( er, West Hollywood for all those in Ohio )

I have personally always had a soft spot in my heart for La Bradshaw. I don't know if its his eyebrows that are clearly drawn on with a Sharpie. Or could it be the Vaseline slick pout that he pulls like a 15 yearold girl EVERYTIME he gets his photo taken? I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that he mistakes self importance for self belief. Whatever.




But what is this? Could it be true? The screen shots my fellow Rot Spotters have collected tell us GASP* that the biggest Gem Of Them All has left the Condomansion? Oh dear readers, so it aint so!

It seems that Tila has worked her magic again and one more gay hits the dust. And boy has Tila gone through our beloved gays.

First there was Leo Madrid. Ahhh Leo, Tila's handy assistant. We actually liked Leo. We thought not only was he cute, he had smarts. We could not understand for the life of us why such a talented guy would hook up with a noxious shred of psychotic rat shit like Tila. But a girls gotta eat, right Leo? After a very few months, we saw Mr. Madrid use that talent to move on to better and let's face it, cleaner pastures. Saying that, every single picture of Leo at a club with Tila looked like he wanted to kill himself from the shame of being seen with her.




And then we started to notice something interesting. Something with quite large eyebrows. Something that wore accessories that were Bedazzled within an INCH of their lives. Something with a forehead that you could shine till it glowed in the dark. The One and Only Mr. Bradshaw. Who is he? Where did he come from? Are those heels he was wearing?

The truth is, Mr. Bradshaw is a stylist with, in our humble opinion Gems, not alotta style. In fact (and here is a secret) Mr. Bradshaw is not really named Mr. Bradshaw at all. Just plain old Anthony. But Yanno, everyone wants their 15 minutes and Tony (as I like to call him) found his 3 and a half dressing Tila in the most style free outfits he could possibly dream up. In fact, one night after I plucked Uncle Eddies toe hair and poured him a glass of Blue Nun we decided that Tony was dressing Tila like a douche bag for the fun of it. I mean Tony, were you in fact high when you put her in that Belt 'O Bra getup?




There were other issues for us. We often felt like stealing his Bedazzling gun and stomping it into small pieces when he would use the term of endearment “Gem” for all of his 3,000 followers on Twitter. Oh and by the way, any one who he considers a Jelis Hater is called a Pebble. So yeah. Guess that's us Rotspotters. Pebbled. But moving on.

HAI ANTHONY YOURE NOT LADY GAGA. You have not quite earned the privilege of naming your *cough* fans.

And there was the singing. For the love of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. It sort of speaks for itself.



But enough about that. Lets just pop a bottle of our best Faygo and be the first to congratulate Mr. Bradshaw for coming to his ever loving senses as he seems to have dropped Tila like a he would drop a house on a witch. We don't know why, we don't care why! We just know that Tila took to her blog and made it fact. Good enough for us here at the Rot Spot!

But beware Mr. Bradshaw, Tila likes to plot her revenge. I would click my heels as fast as I can sister, and get the hell out of Oz.

She may get you and your little dog too!

UPDATE PEBBLES: 

And this is breaking news. As opposed to breaking wind. Our beloved Mr. Bradshaw has come out of the fakey name closet. He has, after much reading of the Rot Spot, decided to change his name to Anthony B. No really. And innit crazy how all of the sudden, hours after we posted he decided to change it up? Coincidence? I think NOT. Anywho my little bedazzled cousins, have a gander at this update on his website. Mind your ears, they might bleed.

Let me see, it's almost 8:00 pm on Sunday night in California. Twenty-two hours ago Bradshaw was spending Saturday night (around 10:00 pm) in the hospital. He does think to give a shout out to his niece, how sweet of him.

I bring you 9Head aka Bradshaw all geeked up and actin' a fool in public! Just a quick LOL for the afternoon!!!  You know, I actually like him.  I feel pretty bad that he's allowing Tila to bring him down.  On the other hand, he's a pretty good enabler for our co-dependent attention whore!  Enjoy the video!

Okay before I reveal WHO is "juss jelis" let me explain where the phrase comes from as I know we've used it a few times recently.  There is no real misspelling of the phrase as a bunch of retards (yes, I said retards) that call themselves her "army" only know how to talk in broken sentence fragments mixed with a little bit of ebonics.  So, we're making sure that they are able to comprehend what we're gettin' at here at the Rotspot.  I'm equal opportunity ya know!

I LOVE the fact that we get called "fat jelis h8rz" who have "no life" because we think Tila is the epitome of trainwreck.  I mean, who can't rubberneck at the brutal accident on I-95 with a donut in mouth and trusty Starbucks in hand on the way to work?!?!??!  However (SURPRISE!) we are NOT the only group of jelis fatty hotties that think 9head needs to learn to fuckin' style a bitch.

It seems that Tila just doesn't get it.  I mean we called you out on your ORIGINAL EXXXCLUSIVE outfit for the "Maxim party" so why in the world do you think you can get away with MORE LIES!?!?  Ohhh that's right!  That Ambien that you snort gives you hallucinations and delusional thoughts.  I guess Tila expects everyone else to be a drug addict and live in her little la la land.

Personally made for YOU huh Tila??  That's pretty funny because for a whopping buck sixty-five I can get the EXACT same jacket, minus the bedazzling that 9Head added to it.  I swear you need to stop using the same belt and shoes over and over to try and make "new" outfits.  It really makes you look stupid.  Seriously.  Look, Rotty here is just trying to help you out!!

I love fashion!  I do, I do, I do!!!  And REAL fashion.  I even love the fact that some celebrities even talk about not wearing the best of the best.  We ALWAYS seem to find that the alien and 9head (aka Bradshaw) have to lie about where the outfits came from.  So, remember the awesomesauceness of dress that 9head and Meth Mouth went on and on about back in April?

First of all, Uncle Eddie wants to say YAY FATTY!  We finally snagged that bitch Fatty McFatterson to write for us, and you can see her first post here.  That makes a total of 4 writers here at the Rotspot, which is no where close to Tila's 20 blogwriters, but we do a better job so figure that one out.  Also, lots of you have professed your joy at us getting Fatty to write for us, saying you love her comments.   We actually do not like her comments, but she paid us each $2 and a pack of Marlboro reds so SOLD AMERICAN, am I right?  JUST KIDDING FATTY, WE LOVE YOU!

Okay so moving on.  The other day someone alerted me to the fact that Tila isn't quite the first gossip blogger in her neck of the woods.  It's none other than my 9headed boo himself, Mr. Bradshaw!  OMG!


And look, he wants to dethrone Perez too!  Isn't that precious!?  Jesus you two, get an original idea.  And no, I don't mean taking credit for fads that already existed, like androgyny (and I'm not even kidding you guys, Bradshaw takes credit for that, as well as the whole chain thing).  I can't believe they're STILL trying to dethrone Perez.  Jesus.

Anyway, that just made me laugh, and you know how Uncle Eddie loves him some 9head.  Any time I can post on it you know I will because I basically worship it in church every Sunday and this is like penance for all the horrible things Uncle Eddie has done.  Church of the 9head - Join us, won't you?

Speaking of the horrible things Uncle Eddie has done, last night I was watching Tosh.0 and they showed a clip of a man who spent 6 years injecting his penis with silicone and I had to scour the internets to find this video!  (Yes I linked to it, suck it).  Anyway, as I was searching the Tosh.0 blog, I came across this GEM (lol Bradshaw speak) regarding a certain midget meth-mouthed mogul's blog!


"As she says 'There has been many celebrities that I know a lot of juicy, dark secrets about.' [sic]  Celebrities like, um, Tila Tequila.  And, uh, the chick who died who i was supposedly married to or whatever."

And

"Oh, and around the 1:30 mark, she suggests that she might get naked on the site too...because that's what reputable journalists do!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I love showing you guys the random shit I find because I know we all share a good larf over it.  But let's get to the MEAT, okay?

So yesterday, before inundating us with "OMG MY ALBUM IS OUT IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND PROFOUND AND I OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THOSE WORDS MEAN BECAUSE MY ALBUM IS NOTHING LIKE THAT," Tila gave us the heads-up that Katy Perry was named #1 by Maxim's Hot 100.  I didn't go to the blog because, well, Tila sucks, but I did catch the opening paragraph on Facebook (and thankfully that's all you really need).

As you can imagine, most of the comments were as the ones you see here, with a few fans still kissing Tila's ass in the hopes of recognition...or tit pics, or nude ustreams.  Because these fans are too young to know that a mere google image search of "Tila's tits" unleashes a whole bounty right into your computer's screen.  And no, even though I linked to the man who spent 6 years injecting his wang with silicone, I am not going to link you to a google image search of "Tila's tits."  PRINCIPLES, PEOPLE, I HAS THEM.

Anyway, if you're like me, you might be thinking to yourself that Tila sounds just a wee bit bitter in her article.  It might be the random POW!!!!!! stuck in there, just a hint.  I wonder why Tila would be bitter about something like that?  Oh wait, no, it probably has to do with the la times writing this:


HA!

Thanks go our girl Monique, aka MissTilaOMG on twitter, for commenting with this linkOh, to live in Tila's world, where everything surrounding her is "beautiful," and "profound," but only to Tila.  To everybody else it's crab infested and smells like old beef jerky that's been slathered in mayo and left in the sun too long.

Hey, anybody got $2 I can borrow?  There's this really beautiful and profound CD I wanna buy...I have some neighborhood kids I wanna torture.  Thanks in advance,

Love,
Uncle Eddie

P.S. Here's a really good article on Tila's EP: Click it, bitches!

Oh thank God, Uncle Eddie didn't have to go to her OMG OF ALL BULLSHIT fail blog to give you guys this update.

So have you ever seen Reality Bites? Remember that scene where Winona Ryder is interviewing for that job, and the guy asks her to define irony and she can't?


Irony: Tila Tequila instructing people on how to find love. Next up, Tila will teach us all how to exploit people, ruin them, and them dump them (or better yet, leave them alone to die without their medication).

So then earlier today, my 9headed boo Mr. Bradshaw opened up his formspring to answer some questions. I'm sure wading through all the questions about his chola brows and "light" bedazzler usage was exhausting, but one of them caught my attention:


Tila Tequila records, aye? That's funny, because a few weeks ago Princess Dumbass made a post over on the hotspot blowing sunshine and lollipops up her new cashcow's ass.


You might notice that right there, top paragraph, it says:
So I know I haven't talked much about my newest artist I signed to my Record Label (its no longer called Tila Tequila Records, There's a new badass name and symbol I came up for it, well, my friend did, that I am getting trademarked and copyrighted as I a typing this, but you shall all know soon what my record label will be called)

She posted this soon after people started warning Rob about her and her "non-existent record label." Hmm, I wonder why Bradshaw wouldn't know that? Don't you think his precious gem Tila would clue him into a big change like that?

Oh but no, Tila, you sure are 10 steps ahead of us. Is that why we correct the shit on your blog? Because you're so far ahead of us? Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Is that why you sent us that Cease and Desist order via email? How's that workin' out for ya, anyway?

Hey girl, it's not our fault that you can't keep your lies straight.