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Tuesday, May 11

postheadericon Tila's World-Renown Midget Idjit Tour!!!


Bare with me RotSpotters, I'm not a blogger like our gal Tila. I don't have the word "POW" in my daily vocabulary. I always thought a 'mogul' was a bump in the middle of a ski slope. All I am is a big fat ugly bitch who is passionately jealous of a $2 hooker tramp with loose morals and looser labia. But, that's just me. Thank you to my fellow RotSpot bloggers for giving me this opportunity to share my hate.

Let's get to what we're here for, my first Meth Tila blog post!!! YAY! 

Tila's EP dropped tonight. Even though she's been promising it for over a year, and she had to scramble to get some PR in before it actually launched, it's already a full-on 5-STAR SUCCESS!!! If you don't believe me, check out her celeb blog and all the 'critics' who have reviewed it. It's gotta be good if people like Tiffany_1998 likes it, right?

Tila shouts out a big blowout wingding at The Conga Room, complete with a personal burlesque show opening for Tila's big night. Wow. Impressive. Tila says there will be lots of celebs showing up, but somehow forgot to namedrop them. Hmmmm. Let's see what the best tickets in the house cost. Must be a typo, only $10-20. Well, I'm sure that's the upper end of the spectrum right? I mean The Conga Room is offering $600 cocktails, they have to be expecting a few folks from the upper crust, right? Hmmmm. Something doesn't seem right. Right here on www.congaroom.com, there's another big wingding next week with Chino y Nacho. Never heard of them, but evidently they can pull in $25-45 ticket prices. How can Tila's most exclusively priced tickets be LESS THAN Chino y Nachos general admission seats? A couple weeks later, Inspector plays to the crowd for $25-40 a ticket. A week after is El Gran Silencio for $25-45, same with Sonora Carruseles. OK, enough of this charade, BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! Tila's show is the lowest on the totem pole for the next 2 months, and she's trying to hype this as some major event.

I hope someone from the 'resistance' attends the show (I'm sure we can scrape together the $20 exclusive seats for you), and reports on it. Don't forget to take your camera and your autograph book so we can see all the A-list celebs!

One last note: oddly enough Tila's $20 seats are the absolute farthest from the stage. It seems odd that the most desirable seats are so far away until you read the fine print "due to crabs flinging out of Tila's vagina, the management cautions against front row seating. Penicillin shots and jello shots are available at the bar."


28 comments:

Eduardo Retardo said...

YEAH! LET'S HEAR IT FOR FATTY!!!

Anna said...

not bad for a first post my dear, not bad at all... :o)

Ray said...

Great 1st post Fatty.
for the 1st pic=
#1 deaf?
#2 sounds like the room mates yelling out "shut that shit off" :)
#3 no chance, unless they mean some shitty z list tv show
#4 Nice, you picture a troll while with ur GF ?
#5 to much pocketmoney from parents
#6 look at the name.... lol
#7 i cant be bothered any more lol

Wicked said...

Congratulations on your first post fatty!

I had a look over at congaroom.com and thought it was interesting they are advertising it as a release party for "I fucked the DJ" not "Welcome to the darkside"

deluwiel said...

Yay Fatty! Thanks for taking the bullet for the rest of us and wading through the swamp that is MissTilaOMG to get us the scoop on her latest *coff* desperate cry for attention *coff* appearance. I wonder if even Tila has the nerve to "perform" either of the two cover songs in public without giving proper credit to Depeche Mode or Ono-Lennon? If she does - I hope someone, anyone finally nails her ass. The madness has to end!!! I don't care of she spends the rest of her life snuffling for scraps from RadarOnline by stripping at Hollywood & Vine or whatever stupid stunts she dreams up at 3 a.m. But this whole "music career" fiasco needs to be put down. now.

Pops said...

Ok, this seriously needs to happen. Someone needs to go there and film this std-fest.

Tony said...

You chicks all rock! Great post Fatty. I was wondering the same thing, if our Skank is giving credit to Depeche Mode. This could get interesting.

jayden said...

I lurves me some Fatty!

Isis said...

Great job!

And I actually found somewhere you can get all three songs for 54 cents!

http://amiestreet.com/music/miss-tila/welcome-to-the-darkside/

tamgerine said...

"It seems odd that the most desirable seats are so far away until you read the fine print "due to crabs flinging out of Tila's vagina, the management cautions against front row seating. Penicillin shots and jello shots are available at the bar." "

Holy shit Fatty, you crack me up. Excellent first post :D

Violet Morellet said...

@deluwiel she HAS performed "Blue Dress" not only without crediting Depeche Mode, but telling the crowd that she wrote it for Casey. At her Australian "tour".

I lolled when I read "..some of the songs on there are very heartfelt.." in the screencaps. Bitch, there are only three songs on the EP. The "some of the songs" that she's referring to that are heartfelt are the ones it's confirmed she didn't write. Because if she's going to write lyrics, they're going to be about fucking a DJ or getting her off.

Also, it's lols that she'll list all the "celebs" that have performed at the venue she'll be at before, but she won't mention all these amazing A-list celebrities that will be at her party. lulz.

Ericka said...

Me love you long time, Fatty. <3

Isis said...

And her tuning in Jessica Rabbit....um, remember me mentioning Peggy Lee before? Yeah, that's the song that Jessica Rabbit performed. "Why Don't You Do Right" by Peggy Lee. Right here. I can imitate her pretty well, even if it's only karaoke.

J said...

I may be wrong, but "Get Me Off" sounds awfully reminiscent of Personal Jesus to me...perhaps she has a thing for Depeche Mode?

joundml said...

I ran across one of her songs/video On Demand. It must have been the delusional time of 3:37am and non-coherency that made me say, "okay, lets see what she's got."

Shit, my cats playing WWE Smackdown in their room, complete with hissing, snarling and painful morning cat wails sounded better than this stupid twat.

Whoever said she had any talent must have been dying...

Jen said...

OK, I didn't know where else to post this on here so I'm putting it in the comments section. Sorry if it doesn't belong here! :(
On Tila's Hot Spot, there is a voice message from a guy named Steve from Fresno, CA - He works with Charlie's Angles VIP bookings - I found his My Space (he seems like a nut) http://www.myspace.com/stevet3169. He starts talking about how they are aware of this woman named Mary Watts who's been stalking her & who is a ruthless bitch, responsible for so much shit in Hollywood, including killing Casey Johnson with a horsetranquilizer, which he says, Tila was aware of. He goes on to say that there is a 1 million bounty on Mary's head & will be caught. I found it interesting so I did a bit of research & yes, in fact, there is a Mary Watts who exists & she is responsible for a bio warfare attack in NY (which he states is the reason Tila lost her voice). This guy sounds like a total wackjob but I know you guys are amazing at getting to the bottom of the truth. I want this bitch to go down & die. Maybe you guys want to look into it? If it is true, pretty damn interesting! On his MySpace, Steve wrote a babbling blog on May 11th where Tila & Casey's names are mentioned. My feeling is it's NOT true but I can't let juicy stuff like this go unnoticed! I tried to copy/paste the link to the HotSpot - maybe you can listen to it!
Love you guys! You guys are one of the reasons I laugh everyday!! Keep it up! :)
http://www.tilashotspot.buzznet.com/ - From Fresno, CA May 10th @ 6:26PM.

B_McBitcherson said...

YAY Fatty! Great post - I think the rotspot definitely needs to send in a representative, and wouldn't it be great if you made up some kind of press pass and tried to interview Tila? I would be money it would take her 'till at least halfway through the interview before she realized she was being interviewed by her best haters.

Joann said...

I just read your post Fatty and you fit right in with the rest of the great staff with your style of writing. VERY GOOD job. That last paragraph had me rolling.

You know Tila blows up everything about herself and I'm pretty sure the burlesque show is not opening specifically for HER, they're just the opening act...period.

I found a short article about the Conga Room. Judging by the dates on the reviews of people who went there, this aritcle is fairly recent.

http://findlocal.latimes.com/downtown/bars-and-clubs/bars-clubs/the-conga-room-l-a-bar

Kristin said...

I love you Fatty! You are to funny.

Joann said...

I forgot to add this to my post. If it cost $10 a pop to get into Tila's event and VIP seats are $20, you can bet your last dollar no TONS of celebs would even think about going to hear her singing and hosting or whatever the hell she's doing there.

And, why is she dragging her boxer friend to this event. I thought he was just someone she interviewed for her piece of crap gossip site. Next baby daddy?????

fata.morgana_101 said...

Glad to see Fatty's writing for the blog. I was hoping that would happen. I always loved her comments.

Jenn said...

Hurray for Fatty!

What the hell does Tila mean by "I also mixed in some of my signature sexy style" when referring to her ever so classy song "Get me off"? Tila, you don't have a signature sexy style...its just called being a ho.

puppetzownsyou said...

lol zteppup is my boyfriend and his comment was a joke if tila was smart and looked at his page she wouldve seen the *snicker* lol dumb whore!

Cathy said...

WOW great job fatty!! I enjoyed it!! You rock as do all the rotspot writers! Keep it up. OH and the last paragraph LMFAO

Did anyone happen to catch the letter from the "reformed hater" who now LOVES Tila on her blog yesterday. I am pretty sure she wrote that herself. Anyone think thats in response to the reformed Tila Army members becoming "haters"

Jen said...

OMG - I truly apologize for my dumbass post above. I really thought there was something to it however after doing a bit more research I now realize that this guy has more than a few screws loose. He seems to be obsessed with 3 celebrities, 1 being Tila. I found a business card of his & he lists his title as International Intelligence Director (and under it: The Lord of Hosts & The Holy Savior)!!!!!! LMAO! WOW. Tila sure has quality fans! Anyway, sorry for wasting space on this page! However, I did keep myself entertained for a little while!!! LOL. BTW - Fatty, your first blog entry was hilarious. You guys have such an awesome team. Vive la Resistance! :)

Jujubee said...

I'm going to go to this show and report back! Wish me luck and buy me some bleach to dip in for when I get home.

deluwiel said...

@Jujubee - did you go to the show?!? Play-by-play please. When you've recovered, of course. Rest now... after a trauma like that you probably need to huddle under your comfy quilt for a while. Just keep repeating to yourself, "It's all over. It's I'm home now. I'm safe..."

deluwiel said...

oops - I thought the Conga Room debacle was last night - sorry Jujubee... but please, if you or anyone does go tonight, give us a review!

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