It brings Uncle Eddie so much joy to tell you all this.  So much joy.  Let me savor it for a minute.

[...]

Ahhh...ooh that's good.  You guys ready?  So I was bored, driving home (okay my boyfriend was driving, I wasn't checking my phone and driving at the same time), and I happened across TMZ...


OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

This post is dedicated to all the times Tila called us "jealous haters" and INSISTED that she didn't do drugs or drink.

So Uncle Eddie is thinking...she's probably just doing this for attention, right?  To save her career, right?  But can you name one single person who got a career boost from this show?  Go on, name one.  ONE.  Name me one person who came off this show and their career got rejuvenated. 

And just one more time...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!



I can't wait to see this trainwreck go down.  Everybody tune into the first episode (if it doesn't get canceled, that is) to watch a day in the life of Tila.

I'm leaving you all with a quote from my boyfriend:  "Maybe it's her addiction to fake pregnancies?"

So just a few minutes ago, Tila tweeted this:


WHAT!?  OMFG SIMON COWELL IS LEAVING IDOL!  NO WAY!

Here's the same blog update from her Facebook, so you can see the first paragraph to this EXCITING, NEW, AND FRESH article:


Wait, what are those comments talking about?  This isn't the newest and freshest celebrity gossip?  Pow?  No pow?

Here's Perez talking about that IN JANUARY


And, in case that wasn't enough, Perez has been on a crusade to take over Simon's spot.  If you go to PerezHilton.com and search Simon Cowell, you'll see stuff like this.  And for further proof that Tila is way way way behind:


Wow Tila.  Wow.  Thanks for being so up-to-date.  Seriously.

Yes, everybody is calling her out on it.  I'm sure she'll delete it soon.

I heard man walked on the moon in 1969.  Hopefully Tila will have something about that, soon.

First off, let me just start this post off with....

Curious and Curiouser....
Now...Moving right along.

Last night, the porn muppet decided she would reveal to the world, what it looks like when a guy is basically blowing you off blushing bashfully.

Really, you just have to watch the video to see how into the dirty bitch he is. My personal favorite is where she's desperately clutching onto him like he's the last cheeseburger before a nuclear war.

I love fashion!  I do, I do, I do!!!  And REAL fashion.  I even love the fact that some celebrities even talk about not wearing the best of the best.  We ALWAYS seem to find that the alien and 9head (aka Bradshaw) have to lie about where the outfits came from.  So, remember the awesomesauceness of dress that 9head and Meth Mouth went on and on about back in April?

Soooo...today (or maybe it was last night.  I don't give a fuck) Tila posted in her Dear Diary section about how OMG AWESOME it is to be a gossip blogger.  And about how she's not jealous of the people she talks about (hahahahaha no really, she said that).  And about how she's actually friends with lots of the people she talks about.  Wanna read it?  Here you go:



Way to reuse that I <3 a Hater image.  But seriously, Tila, for fuck's sake.  Listen, sweetie.  That code you use on your website?  Yeah, it's not a secret.  ANYBODY CAN VIEW IT.  And anybody can see that you use THE FREE site meter to track your hits.

So you don't want us to use Alexa now?  Because you did earlier...


So now suddenly that's not okay?  Okay Tila, Uncle Eddie will play your little crackhead game.  Let's use what you use!  Anybody is welcome to go here and view these results, but I'll cap them and post them here just to make it easy for everybody.  In case that link doesn't take you to the graph, you have to click "previous 7 days" under "visits" on the left side.


Cute how it doesn't even COME CLOSE to a million, isn't it?  Oh wait, what did she say?  That we're just haters and obsessed?  So does "haters" mean "one able to look at graphs and perform simple addition?"  I guess we better add that to the Slutinese dictionary.  We're acting High School?  No, sweetie, it's just that we can perform High School level math.  That's all.


Here it is, as an amusing De-motivational Poster made by @MissTilaOMG on twitter.

Oh and how about Dethroning Perez?  Here it is, again via Sitemeter:


Oh wow, so he's #1 huh?  Ouch.  Tila isn't even top 20.

And just for fun, let's laugh at Tila's math skills:


See?  2+2 = 80.  There's your proof right there.  And let me tell you something.  Uncle Eddie sucks ass at math.  SUCKS ASS.  But even I can tell you what 10% of something is.  That's probably the easiest percentage to figure out.  Goddamn.  When Uncle Eddie can school you at math, there's a problem.

Goddammit Tila, you suck.  You really, really suck.  AT EVERYTHING.  Every single thing you set you mind to turns to shit.  BECAUSE YOU SUCK.

Maybe if you weren't so busy trying to fuck your teachers in high school you'd know how to do basic math?  And really, aren't Asians supposed to be good at math?  YOU'RE LETTING YOUR PEOPLE DOWN, TILA.

Update 

Tila responds to this post:



LOL.  Use any excuse you want, Tila, but you haven't even come close to dethroning Perez or ANYBODY ELSE.  You're a fucking joke and you know it.  And you're right, I'm just jealous.  So very, very jealous.  (hint: that's sarcasm, dumbass)

Don't you have another pathetic letter to write to Lindsay Lohan now?  I'm sure she'll take time out of her schedule at Cannes, her court appointed classes, and movie filming to read it, just like she did the last one.  OH THAT'S RIGHT, SHE IGNORED YOUR ASS.  Just like most of Hollywood does, unless they're making fun of you.

This is a fun topic for me....it's one of those ones that hits me right in my cold heart groin. Any possible chance that I can get to show Tila yet AGAIN that she has absolutely no case against the bloggers gives me a boner. I'd just like to reiterate what a fucking retard she is....and hopefully this will help to ease the minds of you, our loyal readers.

Ok, in case you have all been living under a rock and have been fortunate enough to miss the meth whores rants, let me bring you up to speed.

For months and months now, Tila has threatened to sue us big meanies. She's thrown around all kinds of mumbo jumbo from her "attornies" (bahaha)...
In fact, her "attornies" even tried to EMAIL us here at The Rotspot, a cease and desist. Feel free to read about that HERE. That dirty gremlin even went so far as to white out our own disclaimer....tsk tsk naughty....

Now on to Exhibit B:




But you see, this isn't the first time Tila's threatened to sue....it's just that THIS time she's directing her plethora of stupidity toward the bloggers.....

Ohhhh, looky here though....the idiot hogul doesn't realize that she has no grounds whatsoever. Defamation of character? Nah. Slander? Newp. Copyright Infringement? HAHAHA. Emotional pain and stress? My butt itches....where was I...Oh yeah! Here's an article that shows a large company trying to sue someone who was mean to them. They go on to say that a person by the name of "stokklerk" posted defamatory comments about the C.E.O, as well as the company. Said company tried to get "stokklerk" to pay them for being meanies. Mrs. Judge Person said, "hey ya know what retards, thanks for playing and wasting time, but nope". And what was Mrs. Judge Persons decision based on? "She said the comments were protected free speech because they were either "rhetorical hyperbole" or expressions of opinion."

Hyperbole, for all you lazy asses who refuse to webster it means: A figure of speech (a form of irony) in which exaggeration is used for emphasis or effect; an extravagant statement.

So basically here's what it comes down to. Tila, you need to put your big girl panties on, and realize that EVERY motherfucking thing that is headed your way, you have brought on yourself. *smiles politely*

Gnome out.

It's Stupor Girl time, boys and girls, bitches and hoes!  Here's the first in a series of the 7 Deadly Sins of Stupor Girl.


Ooh, sex-ay.  Which one will we cover next week?  TUNE IN TO FIND OUT.

Usually I wouldn't care much about any of the Perez bullshit.  Although I don't hate him I don't really care either way.  However, I am VERY excited to bring to Tila's your attention that Perez has been offered $20 million for his celebrity gossip site.  Really looks like the hogul is "powing" her way into getting owned, doesn't it?  I mean let's take a look at what Tila's site is worth shall we?

Good morning lovers!!!!

So, while here I sit, recovering from my drunken stupor from eves past, I tripped and stumbled over to the dirty leprechauns blog....(not to worry, I wore a full body condom).....

And because she fails at EVERYTHING, I don't know why I expected anything different....but I chuckled quietly to myself (or it could have been a bong hit) when I realized what I thought was a complete and utter fucking mess of retardism....only to realize that it was the porn muppets attempt to be comical. Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, Prince of Asia Throughout Time...? yeah? no? nothin? hmmm....


A little letter to you Tila dear, you're stupid. Completely and utterly no holds barred fucking stupid. I'm going to go ahead and give you a mulligan and say that maybe, JUST MAYBE you did attempt a play on words, albeit a pathetic failed attempt...but MAYBE.

I'm not completely convinced though that you didn't in fact write "Prince of Asia" and mean "Prince of Asia". Do yourself a favor you ill fitting twat-bandaid, and give it up already. You're not attractive, you're not funny, and you're not important. Here's me, just being a helper. It's what I do.

And just for shits and giggles, let's all point and laugh at yet another Tila Fail. *sighs happily*

Dear Diary: YAY! So my non-celebrity the-truth-and-only-the-truth blog is a couple of weeks old. I have never been a celebrity and now I've crossed over to the side of another non-celebrity!!! My blog is the #1 Get Under Tila's Meth-sore Skin blog around! Of course, if I was a REAL celebrity, I wouldn't have time to blog about celebrities, which is why you won't see other celebrities gossip blogging. Well, that, and the fact that celebrities generally have a certain amount of respect for other celebrities, and feel that gossiping about their peers is crass and in poor taste.

Oh shit, that's not an exclusive.  You guys already know!

So okay, here's some funny shit for you guys.  I know you guys enjoy funny shit.

Last night Tila posted something she ripped right off the TV.  You guys ever seen that show What Would You Do?  Uncle Eddie loves that show.  I remember last season they faked a guy spiking a girl's drink and dragging her off, and one of the patsy's was SO into it.  I think he high-fived the fake would-be rapist.  That's some fucked up shit.  So here's Tila not getting that it's set up for a hidden camera TV show:


Yeah, it's wrong, idiot.  That's the point.  The point is they make people witness others doing FUCKED UP SHIT, watch them react or not react, and then make social commentary at how fucked up or society is.  Uncle Eddie is kinda fucked up too, because the comment I included made me LOL.

Hey, it's better than citing The Onion as a source and not getting that it's fake news, right?  (Yeah okay she apparently did that, too, but she deleted it before Uncle Eddie woke up.  Anybody got a screen cap?  Here's Allieiswired.com covering it.)

Here you go, kids.  Munch on that for a while.

P.S. Everybody applaud TRS for making The Rotspot pretty.

Update 

While Uncle Eddie was posting this, Tila tweeted:


First off, yeah fucking right.  Secondly, I'm sure all those adoption agencies are just LEAPING at the chance to give your fucking crazy ass a kid, Tila.  You're exactly the kind of person who should be a mother.  I wish I was Vietnamese, so I could count down the days until you become an Ambassador for my people!  Tila is a role model for sure.

And on that note, Uncle Eddie just threw up in his mouth.

Update #2 

Spiked Tequila has the screenshots up of Tila sourcing the Onion.  This one stood out especially to me, seeing as how I live in Suns territory and all:



Durr it doesn't even look real!!  JESUS I WONDER WHY, TILA.  God...dammit.  What can I even say?  She knows she's an idiot because she pulled the posts.

Jesus Christ I don't even know where to start....I guess this will be like jumping off the diving board in the big kids side of the pool....just close my eyes, 1........2..............

Ok, so I wasn't going to watch Tila's "ode to being a whorebag" dating advice video, much less post on it....but you guys have requested it, and because I'm not a complete pretentious asshole, I've delivered.

Has anyone actually watched it? I mean seriously?! Cuz....I....uh......hmmmm...
If you haven't...save yourselves. I'm not even kidding. It's entirely too early in any part of the day to listen to her obnoxious giggle and grinding on some poor innocent. Let's be completely honest here, it basically started off the way you'd expect any cheap porno to.

There were 2 good things about the video (hey I can give credit where credit is due)....1. Tila making a complete fucking ass outta herself with her fancy dancy "green screen" and 2. The end.

You see, the best part about her whole winged whore campaign is that the dirty bitch hasn't had a good, strong, steady relationshit since who knows when. So I know that I'd certainly be taking advice on "how to get and keep a man" from the porn muppet Tila.

Anyway, the main reason I've snagged and uploaded this video is so that you, our loyal readers do NOT have to go to her youtube page, OR her website.....you can watch all of the disgusting antics of the hogul here. Now, who loves you? WHO LOVES YOU!!! Alright then...

I have to say, Tila is spewing out so much shit, I had to eenie-meenie-miney-mo to chose a topic to write about. This one seems like a fun one, so enjoy.

What we see in the above post is typical Tila trying to cover her tracks. She has no current content or photos and so a broken computer is the excuse. Of course, every mogul I know, knows to use a backup system, and they have a lot of redundancy built in so they don't have their pants around their ankles and their asses in the air if something happens to their computer (ironically, it was this exact scenario Tila was performing when she broke her computer!)

In the above screen cap, Tila goes off on a defender of truth hater who said essentially what I did, that Tila's broken computer was an excuse for her falling down on the job. I hope Shawn Merriman is reading how Tila WON her case against him. That might be news to him. I guess all the non-stop defamation, cyber bullying, stalking and terrorizing the life of Perez Hilton means good ol' Tila will be sitting next to all of us in jail. Remind me to call Khloe Kardashian and ask her how she liked having Tila defame her by saying she was a hooker at age 15! The oddest sentence in that whole mess is the third to last one, where she says she'll spend all the money in the world to put us all in jail or file for bankruptcy. I guess the little nutso forgot she already filed for bankruptcy a couple years ago, so she'll have to wait 4-8 years (depending on the Chapter).

Amazingly successful? Have you read this piece of garbage? Have you looked at your numbers? I fart out more hits than you have in any particular day. How's 'dethrowning' Perez going? Nice to see you feel you've finally risen to the level of desperation and mental illness of Lindsay Lohan.

Tila, hon, can you please show me that POW interview you had with the Russian boxer dude. You promised several times that you'd post it. Never happened. You promised it the day of the actual interview and then the next day and another time (might have been the same day). Oh, and I don't talk shit about the people YOU talk shit about. No, see I don't have a celebrity gossip blog, dear. I just have this hellhole called the RotSpot, where we've never bashed celebrities, we've never stalked celebrities and we've never reported on celebrities. All we do is write about you. Well, to be honest, you do most of the writing, we just screen cap it and wonder why you lie from one screencap to the next.