- Happy One Month Anniversary WhoreMeat!
- Wow. Just wow.
- Cuntzilla Misses the Point Of Memorial Day
- Innate Ugly=Tila Nguyen
- Fatty: One-eleventy-billion, Tila: big fat ZERO!!!...
- Fail Blog Sinks - Whole New Low
- They're juss JELIS!!
- Tila Continues Giving Advice...Sort Of
- New Stuporgirl!
- Fashion Tip 101
- Could Tila have taken us for a ride?
- A is for ...
- Meet Caroline...
- I put a spell on yoooouu...
- EXCLUSIVE!!! It's Perez's Party, Tila Will Lie If ...
- Tila's Fancy New Reality Show
- Tila's blog is super up to date on gossip!
- Dear Diary, Tila takes a hostage!!
- While we're on dresses ....
- EXCLUSIVE!!!! Tila's Maxim Party Dress STOLEN 2 mo...
- OMG a million views!
- About suing bloggers....
- Yay for Wednesday!
- Perez Hilton Buyout Negotiations?!
- Tila's too stupid to attempt a "Play on Words"
- The Dummies Guide to Speaking Slutinese
- Dear Fatty's Diary
- Exclusive! Which Z-List Celebrity is a Terrible Bl...
- Dating advice or The Makings of a Cheap Porn?
- Oh oh!!! For reals!!! I'm scared!! Hold me Uncle E...
- Oh, it's a very happy Sunday morning in my neighbo...
- Alright Listen Up....
- No Stuporgirl this Wednesday!?!?
- Amber Rose gets burned and the Rotspot gets banned...
- More from Tila's Conga Room Performance
- Lady CaCa
- Kimora Lee Simmons and Tila
- What we know of the Conga Room so far
- Hey Everybody! It's Tila's Anniversary!
- Tila can't be THIS delusional? Can she? She puts t...
- Midget Idjit Tour is a raging success!!!
- Uh oh, somebody's a liar!
- Tila on KTLA
- Here is some random stuff
- Tila's World-Renown Midget Idjit Tour!!!
- Tila's amazing EP! 3 whole songs!
- The World Weeps as Tila Continues to Assault our E...
- Tila loves the Rotspot!
- Finally, something not about the fail blog!
- More people angry at Tila for her fail blog
- Copy and Paste do not a gossip blog make
- Picture Gallery
- Whoo! Crack Rants!
- A is for ...
- Tila doesn't do drugs? I beg to differ!
- "I don't do drugs" ----Pfft Tila, you're a retard
- Tila's blog continues to be a big fat fail...
- More fun with Tila's blog!
- Story Time, Folks!
- New Stuporgirl!
- Media Talent Group: Stephen Dorff
- Let's talk about this "charity" ONE LAST TIME!!!!
- Oh yeah, Perez should be REALLY scared.
- Okay, you wanna talk about sucking dick at 16?
- More Lindsay Lohan stuff
- We loves TheHollywoodGossip.com
- A geography lesson
- ▼ May 2010 (69)
Tuesday, May 25
10:01 PM | Posted by Fatty McFatterson
So, Rotty and I were having a jelis girlz hater day today, you know we did each other’s makeup, had a little nakey time and got to talking about Tila (that’s the way it happens, right?). I was just showing Rotty a big poo I did. It really was a stupendous work, it’s been in the making for several days and I was quite proud of the length and girth. It was right about that time when Rotty hit her palm to her forehead and said, ‘that reminds me, I wanted to talk to you about Tila’.
Now, when you get two hot chicks together, such as Rotty and myself, you get one of two outcomes: either a red-hot lesbo makeout session or the melding of two inferior girl brains into one gigantic mega Stephan Hawking brain, oh wait, I forgot the third option, you get asked if you want fries with that. Ok, let’s shelf that idea. What you really get is too fantastical brains thinking EXACTLY like Tila would think. It’s all kinds of awesome possum. Notice I’m even doing the Tila gimmick of the slow set up to take you to the POW big reveal? Cool, huh? Wanna see my boobies?
This is all supposition, and I’m sure there’s absolutely NO truth in any of this, but bear with me.
If you were an attention hungry slut on the verge of losing your empire which consists of nothing more than paint slapped on a bunch of empty cereal boxes, would you be desperate enough to send TMZ some ‘exclusive’ info, on the down-low of course (thanks for that little TMZ check for insiders info, btw), that you were going to be on Celebrity Rehab, knowing that the show will probably not go into production? Well, Fatty, that’s silly, you say, what’s the use of that, and why can’t you and Rotty do something more productive with your time? Well, the use of that is that then you have your reality show that you’ve been blathering about forever, and you have the demise of that show made public. That takes care of one lie. You also get a credible source saying they heard you were on the show, that takes care of you self-promoting knowing no one will believe you if you broke the story yourself. Then you have TMZ basically giving you free PR to your wretched blog, that give you the million views you still haven’t attained.
This is where it gets diabolical. Cue the music…then you start peppering your stupid celeb blog with half naked photos of yourself and other hot women. This gives your new-found viewers something to come back for. This is a perfect way for you to become a celeb and have a following again.
But Fatty, you hot hunk of burning woman love, how can you prove this? Well, dear readers, I can’t prove it, that’s why it’s called supposition, but I did make some phone calls, and though I can’t reveal the deets of those calls at this time, it leads me to believe that this scenario is entirely plausible. Just ask yourself, with a show like Celeb Rehab supposedly filming in a week or so, why haven’t any other celebs been revealed? I guarantee you, the production company is not leaking any names. Pasadena Recovery Center will not talk about who is on either. So, how does only one name get leaked? That’s easy, you leak it yourself, and if there’s really no show going down, you’re kind of in the clear because no one from either facility (the recovery center or the production company) can deny your claims because of the strict confidentiality clauses.
But why, Fatty, WHY? (damn, you people ask a lot of questions!). Well, with her career in the toilet (whatever career that may have been), with no record label that anyone has ever heard of (what happened to that whole renamed-a-symbol thing) with a fake charity that’s "expanding", with a talent management company that has had no talent, with a celebrity blog that is a self-serving publicity stunt, with a dog no one has seen for months, all of a sudden going out on photo shoots, well, you can see where desperation would take over. This could be Tila’s idea of creative marketing (note to powerful-attornies-of-which-I-have: I said ‘could be’, not ‘is’. Just want to make that clear when you send me the cease and desist.)
So, we shall see. Of course, if I’m proved right, we may find a big J/K OMG JELIS HATERS ARE SO STUPID headline on her blog, telling everyone it was all a big joke. If I’m proved wrong, we have a 9:00 meeting with a train wreck this summer.