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Tuesday, May 25

postheadericon Could Tila have taken us for a ride?



So, Rotty and I were having a jelis girlz hater day today, you know we did each other’s makeup, had a little nakey time and got to talking about Tila (that’s the way it happens, right?). I was just showing Rotty a big poo I did. It really was a stupendous work, it’s been in the making for several days and I was quite proud of the length and girth. It was right about that time when Rotty hit her palm to her forehead and said, ‘that reminds me, I wanted to talk to you about Tila’. 

Now, when you get two hot chicks together, such as Rotty and myself, you get one of two outcomes: either a red-hot lesbo makeout session or the melding of two inferior girl brains into one gigantic mega Stephan Hawking brain, oh wait, I forgot the third option, you get asked if you want fries with that. Ok, let’s shelf that idea. What you really get is too fantastical brains thinking EXACTLY like Tila would think. It’s all kinds of awesome possum. Notice I’m even doing the Tila gimmick of the slow set up to take you to the POW big reveal? Cool, huh? Wanna see my boobies?

This is all supposition, and I’m sure there’s absolutely NO truth in any of this, but bear with me.
If you were an attention hungry slut on the verge of losing your empire which consists of nothing more than paint slapped on a bunch of empty cereal boxes, would you be desperate enough to send TMZ some ‘exclusive’ info, on the down-low of course (thanks for that little TMZ check for insiders info, btw), that you were going to be on Celebrity Rehab, knowing that the show will probably not go into production? Well, Fatty, that’s silly, you say, what’s the use of that, and why can’t you and Rotty do something more productive with your time? Well, the use of that is that then you have your reality show that you’ve been blathering about forever, and you have the demise of that show made public. That takes care of one lie. You also get a credible source saying they heard you were on the show, that takes care of you self-promoting knowing no one will believe you if you broke the story yourself. Then you have TMZ basically giving you free PR to your wretched blog, that give you the million views you still haven’t attained.

This is where it gets diabolical. Cue the music…then you start peppering your stupid celeb blog with half naked photos of yourself and other hot women. This gives your new-found viewers something to come back for. This is a perfect way for you to become a celeb and have a following again.

But Fatty, you hot hunk of burning woman love, how can you prove this? Well, dear readers, I can’t prove it, that’s why it’s called supposition, but I did make some phone calls, and though I can’t reveal the deets of those calls at this time, it leads me to believe that this scenario is entirely plausible. Just ask yourself, with a show like Celeb Rehab supposedly filming in a week or so, why haven’t any other celebs been revealed? I guarantee you, the production company is not leaking any names. Pasadena Recovery Center will not talk about who is on either. So, how does only one name get leaked? That’s easy, you leak it yourself, and if there’s really no show going down, you’re kind of in the clear because no one from either facility (the recovery center or the production company) can deny your claims because of the strict confidentiality clauses.
But why, Fatty, WHY? (damn, you people ask a lot of questions!). Well, with her career in the toilet (whatever career that may have been), with no record label that anyone has ever heard of (what happened to that whole renamed-a-symbol thing) with a fake charity that’s "expanding", with a talent management company that has had no talent, with a celebrity blog that is a self-serving publicity stunt, with a dog no one has seen for months, all of a sudden going out on photo shoots, well, you can see where desperation would take over. This could be Tila’s idea of creative marketing (note to powerful-attornies-of-which-I-have: I said ‘could be’, not ‘is’. Just want to make that clear when you send me the cease and desist.)

So, we shall see. Of course, if I’m proved right, we may find a big J/K OMG JELIS HATERS ARE SO STUPID headline on her blog, telling everyone it was all a big joke. If I’m proved wrong, we have a 9:00 meeting with a train wreck this summer.


27 comments:

Eduardo Retardo said...

See, that's the thing. If it were filming next week, the cast already would have been announced. That's the way it's happened for every past season. And who reports on it? Perez. At least, that's always how I find out. So what will he do now, since he absolutely refuses to talk about her?

Ouija Queen said...

you think that her multiple personality gig is a rip off from united states of tara? or can she not afford the showtime package? i mean, you know most of her fans parents have that channel locked. so they dont know who/what that is either..

Adtastic said...

Hmmm, I've always suspected TT was even sleazier and more conniving than we give her credit for.

Fatty, I know it has been said a million times over, but you really are a magnificent addition to our beloved rotspot :)

Adtastic said...

Oh, and p.s. the question remains... Where does TT get the 99c for her instant noodles? With no advertising dumb enough to buy space on her page, I'd like to know how her empire is paying for her ambien script.

Monique said...

The question I have is this, do you think Tila set-up that photograph with the bottle of Ambien sitting on the bathroom counter?

Jon said...

Annnnnnnnnd there's the Onyx post.

Tila is, in fact, Pavlovs dog.

EVERYTHING you post about, she makes a blog post about. Its quite stunning. And pathetic.

Joann said...

I'm still a bit fuzzy on this but I think I get the jist of what you're saying.

Like you said, her name is the only name that has been mentioned in connection with CR4 and she let that be known herself.

The only thing I have read about the cast of CR4 is they are still looking for celeb addicts to do the show and Tila, only after SHE made the announcement, was the FIRST one to sign up even though Tila said they were 8 or 9 people who had already signed up, but since she is a straight up liar I don't believe that.

So if she doesn't get to do CR4, because they can't get a cast, no one would know if she was really lying or not.

Remember that picture of her bedside table with the Redbull and bottle of Ambien and some other drug?

It struck me as strange that she would let a close up picture of her drugs be published especially when she has said all along she didn't do drugs. Now I believe she was setting the stage for all of this then.

Also remember when she put this up on her Hotspot back in March?

http://www.tilashotspot.buzznet.com/web/tila/journals/tilatequila/entry/3890611/

If CR4 does not air then she might run with the reality crap she was talking about on that link and her old and new viewers from her gossip site will definitely watch it since she has gotten all this new publicity about being an addict.

We shall see.

Helena said...

I think in all likelyhood, you guys will be proved right.

Also, when Britney was going through her "traumatic" period, didn't she also start talking in a faux British accent?

Good old hogul, she's just so unoriginal!

I wouldn't normal care if she posted up pictures of herself with hot women, other than to think to myself, how desperate, boring and unoriginal.

But, in the case of Diane Neal, where the woman is happily married by all accounts, then hogul needs a good slappin.

Lisa said...

I checked Dr. Drew's twitter page, and the only mention he makes of it is this:

"I am not involved at all with the casting but checked with VH1and apparently production for CR4 is on track... rumors inaccurate."

That was May 17. Read into that what you will.

deluwiel said...

ack. It all makes sense. Tila has weaseled her way back into headlines for the moment. After Celeb Rehab is canceled she'll have to prance naked down Hollywood Blvd. or something to keep the buzz going.

Fatty McFatterson said...

This is one of those things, that doesn't sit right when you first hear about it, but then when you start thinking like a mogul, you can easily see the connection. I had many questions about why this was coming up all of a sudden for Tila like: why didn't she break the news herself (because no one would believe her, better to get tmz, a more credible and well-regarded source with a bigger audience to break it), why had we heard of no one else on the show (because no one else has been signed,they probably have a few who would be on, but they won't get those contracts signed until they have a certain number confirmed). Why all of a sudden all the semi-nude and lesbo-type pix on her site (pandering to the new views she gets through tmz and hoping it will attract daily viewers).
Like I said, I talked to people in the know and though everyone is trying to be hush-hush and not break confidentiality clauses, it seems there might be a lot more to the story then Tila hopes comes out. I dunno, I could be reading much more into this than there is, but I'm typically pretty level-headed and do my homework, so I don't often come up flat-out wrong.
This could be Tila's idea of a great comeback. Those confidentiality clauses keep anyone from confirming or denying her involvement at the moment. If the show is canceled, Tila gets away with her lies scot-free and has a bunch of press to boot. If the show goes forward and Tila isn't on it, she can always claim her mogul duties conflicted with the rigorous rehab schedule and her blog and her fans needed her more. If someone says she never had a reality show like she promised,she can always point to CR and say that she did, and no one would ever know the truth. Brilliant really. Kudos Tila, you're becoming a brilliant certifiable psychopath! YAY

IzzaWhiz said...

Saw this on twitter... Thought it was kinda funny

"RT @funnyordie Dr Drew is an enabler for putting Tila Tequila on Celebrity Rehab when her addiction is believing she's a celebrity."

Seagal said...

I just read that Mindy Mcready, who was on CR2(?) has signed up for the latest CR. Since it cam from radar not sure how reliable the info is. We shall see.

Seagal said...

I meant Mindy McCready not mcready.

allen said...

hello all,
We have already contacted VH1 and told them of the consequences of putting THIEN on T.V.
I hope Thien gets the help that she clearly needs but off camera.
THIEN should have realized that her act is getting old by the turn-out at her gossip launch party.

THIEN THANH THI NGUYEN it is not just people that blog,tweet and use facebook that want you to move to Vietnam. There is a huge number of people offline that strongly disagree with your behavior.Hey this is America where you can do as you please.

But there are consequences for your actions....
Did you get that tax extension?

What is Little Miss Trendsetter's Ein/TIN number and physical address?

You are 30 years old and speak and act like a teen.What do you want to be when you grow up?

STAY AWAY FROM MINORS.....
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS?
Allen

Lisa said...

@Seagal - that's pretty likely, actually. She was just in the news for relapsing again.

Treoby said...

But what if ALL OF THIS is just another lie? What if CR4 DOES end up airing, and Miss Yeasty-Pants isn't even on it? I wonder what lies she will drool out of that herpie-burping mouth of hers in order to cover up that one? I'd bet it'd be something like this: "Like OMG!!! I, like, TOTALLY had to quit Celebrity Rehab, cuz, like, Dr. Drew got all MAAAAD at me cuz I'm A WAAAAAYY bigger A-List Celeb than he is!! OMG! POW!!! (plus the wouldnt let me bring my 'special ointment' for my naughty bits into the rehab clinic!!) SOOOO LAME! POW! BAM!!"

starfish said...

ok...so i am sort of into conspiracy theories...but i hate that word. there is a site (google psuedo occult) that i always visit...i have been reading alot about MK Ultra and project monarch. it says how singers and actresses and such, as rihanna, britney spears, beyonce, miley cyrus, are all victims of this abuse. please visit the site or google MK ULtra and project monarch britney spears to get an idea....somehow, tila fell upon this information, and she is doing her spin on it...unless she really is some sort of victim...but i really think she set up those "mirrors with track lines on it" and her ambiens and red bulls. SHE HAD TO OF SET THEM UP! perfect, right?? "damn, she high" well now she lands a spot on this celebrity rehab show. who knows tho, doesnt seem like they can get anyone to do it this time around??? i wouldnt know....

starfish said...

hahaha! joanne i am reading that hotspot letter..and the first thing i read is this:

http://www.tilashotspot.buzznet.com/web/tila/journals/tilatequila/entry/3890611/

"i keep pushing and pushing"

she must really like mean girls because...

she kept talking about being a pusher...like a, drug pusher??

is she some sort of enigma wrapped in bacon dipped in bullshit? cuz we cant figure out whether the drug use was her 'elaborate scheme' to get on celeb rehab, or if she really has a prob and...

oh whatever...ha! if she wants to live her life that way, i feel sorry for her! also i dont feel she is worthy of being called an enigma, so i apologize for that..

starfish said...

oh no! what happened? i was trying to leave another comment and it got an error!!?! i was saying...she must really like mean girls, is she some sort of pusher? does she push drugs???

((read her first sentences in the link joanne provided))

http://www.tilashotspot.buzznet.com/web/tila/journals/tilatequila/entry/3890611/

its like when she said she fooled around with "coach carter"

JustMoi said...

Tila's celebrity gossip blog is great

I like how the MILF category is now "Hottie of the Week"

I especially like how there is a new "Hottie of the Week" every day

BKiddo said...

I wonder if she also thinks that by going on CR4, that it will clear her of her phone bone activities, fake charities and not to mention all the fake made up shit she has posted about real celebrities.
I agree with all the above also.

Monique said...

I wonder if Tila realizes that from now on she will probably need to go south of the border to refill her prescription. I don't think any doctor is going to want to risk their license and the possibility of a lawsuit.

Hey Tila, I can hook you up with some milk-of-amnesia if you want, ie Propofol.

Veritas Ignis said...

I'm just going to sit on my white Irish ass and watch "her brand new reality show" fall apart, just like everything else her little goblin hands touch.
She's so back and forth with the haters, she loves us for "making her famous" *giggle snort* then viciously hates haters for not directing more traffic to her newest endeavor in FAIL.
If she was getting millions and bazillions and catrillions of hits every single second of every single day, why would she give a flying rat's ass that a blog dedicated to the exposure of her multiple manipulations and lies doesn't link back?
As for Onyx, I'm hoping the dog was put into a no-kill shelter and given to a less psychotic owner who can afford to feed and take care of an animal. She prolly wasn't allowed to bring Onyx with her in her apartmansion/crack head den.

Seagal said...

Well if she does get on CR Drw isn't going to buy into any of her bullshit. He is pretty or at least seems to be great at seeing the bs between the lines. personally I would hate to see her there as I don't think she gives a rats ass about getting sober. She would just use the show like she uses people. As far as that pic goes, most people w/half a brain don't leave their meds laying around to be photographed so I would bet that it was placed like that to be shown. TT doesn't do anything "by accident". God, she is just a skanky bitch and always will be.
And the idea that they offered her a show if she does it is rediculous.

deluwiel said...

they may have gotten someone else to show up for Celebrity Rehab: Jason Wahler (The Hills)
http://www.popcrunch.com/jason-wahler-celebrity-rehab-4/

Jennifer said...

yuck. if TT and Jason Wahler are both on there you know that she will be trying to put on the moves on him the whole time. And as he seems dumb as bricks, he will go for it. Ewww.

Please Dr. Drew, no TT. *gag*

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