Hmmmm. Now this doesn't look too good. You average only 17,000 views per day, and your visitors are spending less than a minute and a  half per visit. As an advertiser your low numbers and low retention rate would concern me. The most revealing number an advertiser would like to see is your unique visitors. If 16,000 of these hits are Mittie refreshing the page all day, then advertisers are not going to be too interested.

Now, lets look at your numbers over the last month. You claim in one month you've built this site up to the impressive viewers one would find on perezhilton.com or tmz.

Of course, advertisers will question you about what caused that curious spike in viewers on June 5, hoping you'd be able to replicate the numbers across the board.  Ohoh. I don't know if they'd be pleased to learn that this was the day of your SUICIDE HOAX. Any legit advertiser wouldn't suggest you replicate that disaster...I mean the liability they'd incur from LAPD, LAFD and Rescue, the EMT's, and whatever other resources were WASTED on that little stunt would pretty much bankrupt them.

But at least you have your comps for the last month. Advertisers will be interested in seeing just how much higher your viewership is over patsy-asses like Perez, tmx, radaronline, and for shits-and-giggles, I threw in your new best buds over at buzzfeed.com:

This is starting to remind me of that Where's Waldo book,....where's Tila's daily pageview ranking? Ohhhhhhhh wait, you see right there, on the very bottom, right on top of the black line outlining the graph, there's a hint of a blue line. Maybe you better zoom in a bit. There she is. Now, being a blonde, I've had my blonde moments, and I have enormous natural breastesses so I tend to do things ass-backwards, so I admit it may be that I loaded this image upside down, but you be the judge.

Hey look our pals buzzfeed.com, who I've never heard of before yesterday are doing a helluva lot better than Tila. No wonder she wanted to partner with them! Don't forget to look up in the sky and wave to Perez, he's flying high right up there with tmz. Isn't it cute how Perez and Harvey are just fighting it out for number 1. So cute.

Now I'm not a hotshot mogul or anything, but I'd say any advertiser who saw this proof, would be pretty damn crazy to pour money into anything connected with WhoreMeat.

But, I gotta go back to Tila's plea, cause the lol's are writing themselves in that pathetic piece of crap. Yep kids, it's your favorite part of the program Quote Recraps! YAY!!!

 With that said, I have and INCREDIBLE staff at my site and everyone who works on it behind the scene, I only picked out the top of the top, the best of the best!

Last week you were patting yourself on the back, while simultaneously looking for sympathy when you stated you've only had yourself and one person working night and day on the site.  I guess the other 18-28 staffers were too busy to copy edit, search out new and interesting stories, start the fun contests, conduct all those celebrity interviews, you know WORK!

right now there are a couple of big ad agencies that would like to work with me, but in the meanwhile, until I decide which company will be the best fit for mine, I am willing to offer anyone who wants to advertise on my site an EXTREMELY GOOD DEAL!

I can tell you with 100% confidence that there are no ad agencies, big or small, who want to work with you. If there were, they'd be a little pissed that you're undercutting them on the ad rates, and they'd want to have some control over what other advertisers were on your site. I mean, c'mon, do you really need a hair-pulling, drag-out fight between Massengil and Summer's Eve?

Advertisers put their money where they believe it will make the most sense (no pun intended, but damn, what an awesome pun!). They also want to showcase their product in the best possible light, so they're careful who they associate with. Believe me, the Center for Missing and Exploited Children, is going to have a really hard time placing an ad banner over a picture of your wonky tits and a plea for your minor viewers to send their contact info to you so you can fly them out to meet you.

it will be quite expensive to advertise here since we get so much traffic! It is just standard business numbers.

You just pull these gems out of your ass don't you? Standard business numbers? What the hell is that? If you're trying to say it's industry practice, again, you're wrong. Let me give you a moment so you can contact those powerful lawyers of which you have so you ask them what it means to lie to potential clients with the purpose of defrauding them. Yep. That's what we have here folks, Tila conspiring to defraud. Puffery is one thing, outright lying about your numbers and your success is another. Of course, Tila believes if she breaks out the belts and used tampons and puts on a little show for the advertisers, no one will think to look at her actual Real Time stats, of which she has.

My site has already costed me nearly $30,000 to build

That's Mogulese for "my site cost $15 bucks, but for me and my broke ass, it might as well be $30,000 because I have no prospects of finding paying work and no hope of ever being more than I am today".

Aside from my massive traffic on my site, the age demographic is from mostly 15-34 years old and 50/50 male and female. I am also currently speaking to big motion picture companies that want to be placed on the site as well.

You know Tila, you say you like to help folks, and I admire that. In that spirit, I'm going to help you by re-writing the above paragraph. Feel free to copy and paste, sweetie!:

Aside from my lackluster traffic on my site, the age demographic is mostly 12-15 years old and 50/50 school children and pedophiles. I am also currently speaking to the voices in my big head and they want to be placed on the site as well.

Tila, the professional I am, says that if you had all these potential advertising opportunities you claim, you wouldn't be begging on your site for sponsorship. The sponsors would be coming to you. That's how it works. Advertisers look at trends, at what's hot, and they glom onto that. If you have to compose a poorly written plea on your own blog to get them to notice you, you're not doing it right.

If I were you, I'd apologize to Mr. Google. He was your only hope.

Addendum: Big Mogul Underpants is hereby copyrighted. By me. With Tila putting together that fashion line, I need to protect myself when she needs a catchy name for her lingerie line.

I agree with many who think that all Tila's talk of the 'others', and the possibility they may shut down her site, and now her inability to attract advertisers, spells doom for her blog, and we may see her shutting the doors soon. It's obvious she's getting bored with it, and it was just a vehicle to legitimately bash celebs of whom she's jelis, and has recently devolved into a compilation of her graphic diarrhea. Bye bye Tila.