Soooo...today (or maybe it was last night.  I don't give a fuck) Tila posted in her Dear Diary section about how OMG AWESOME it is to be a gossip blogger.  And about how she's not jealous of the people she talks about (hahahahaha no really, she said that).  And about how she's actually friends with lots of the people she talks about.  Wanna read it?  Here you go:



Way to reuse that I <3 a Hater image.  But seriously, Tila, for fuck's sake.  Listen, sweetie.  That code you use on your website?  Yeah, it's not a secret.  ANYBODY CAN VIEW IT.  And anybody can see that you use THE FREE site meter to track your hits.

So you don't want us to use Alexa now?  Because you did earlier...


So now suddenly that's not okay?  Okay Tila, Uncle Eddie will play your little crackhead game.  Let's use what you use!  Anybody is welcome to go here and view these results, but I'll cap them and post them here just to make it easy for everybody.  In case that link doesn't take you to the graph, you have to click "previous 7 days" under "visits" on the left side.


Cute how it doesn't even COME CLOSE to a million, isn't it?  Oh wait, what did she say?  That we're just haters and obsessed?  So does "haters" mean "one able to look at graphs and perform simple addition?"  I guess we better add that to the Slutinese dictionary.  We're acting High School?  No, sweetie, it's just that we can perform High School level math.  That's all.


Here it is, as an amusing De-motivational Poster made by @MissTilaOMG on twitter.

Oh and how about Dethroning Perez?  Here it is, again via Sitemeter:


Oh wow, so he's #1 huh?  Ouch.  Tila isn't even top 20.

And just for fun, let's laugh at Tila's math skills:


See?  2+2 = 80.  There's your proof right there.  And let me tell you something.  Uncle Eddie sucks ass at math.  SUCKS ASS.  But even I can tell you what 10% of something is.  That's probably the easiest percentage to figure out.  Goddamn.  When Uncle Eddie can school you at math, there's a problem.

Goddammit Tila, you suck.  You really, really suck.  AT EVERYTHING.  Every single thing you set you mind to turns to shit.  BECAUSE YOU SUCK.

Maybe if you weren't so busy trying to fuck your teachers in high school you'd know how to do basic math?  And really, aren't Asians supposed to be good at math?  YOU'RE LETTING YOUR PEOPLE DOWN, TILA.

Update 

Tila responds to this post:



LOL.  Use any excuse you want, Tila, but you haven't even come close to dethroning Perez or ANYBODY ELSE.  You're a fucking joke and you know it.  And you're right, I'm just jealous.  So very, very jealous.  (hint: that's sarcasm, dumbass)

Don't you have another pathetic letter to write to Lindsay Lohan now?  I'm sure she'll take time out of her schedule at Cannes, her court appointed classes, and movie filming to read it, just like she did the last one.  OH THAT'S RIGHT, SHE IGNORED YOUR ASS.  Just like most of Hollywood does, unless they're making fun of you.