Showing posts with label guest post. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guest post. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 29
Update on US, your loyal Rotspot writers
10:30 PM | 
Posted by
Anonymous
Hey guys. I moderate the comments, and I also see on twitter where y'all BITCHES are complaining that there aren't a lot of entries over here anymore. That's for a few reasons, let me explain:
#1: We're short 2 writers right now. The Gnome (mah wifey) is in jail for something called "absurd sex crimes" and she's currently awaiting trial. What can you do? You can post lots of jailhouse recipes for moonshine in the comments, or you can show up at the courthouse and try to stop the 12 midgets and 3 donkeys from testifying. I'll be doing the second. FREE OUR GNOME! FREE OUR GNOME!
#2: Rotty, the HBIC, is super busy decorating her bedroom. Here's a pic of it. You should all feel pretty lucky to see a pic of Hotty Rotty in her element.
So basically your dirty Uncle Eddie and your favorite Fatty Fat Fat are running the ship while our two companions sort their shit out.
#3: Tila is fucking retarded and boring. She wasn't doing anything that really caught our attention. She posted in her comments on her fail blog the other day that she's pregnant again.
How fucking dumb is that? Seriously, if she WAS pregnant (and nobody believes she is), she'd be posting that shit all over her fail blog, not just in the comments. And yeah, the other day she made a comment about posting proof of her mischairages (I didn't see it personally, but I've heard about it), and let Uncle Eddie tell you something. If you're really waiting on her to post proof, you're gonna be waiting a damn long time. You know she won't. She'll drop it for a while until she's pressed again, and then she'll get all ghetto-fabulous (you know she types with her head shaking all "oh no you di-int!") and say "I ain't gots to prove nothing to you HATERS!" Same shit, different day.
Anyway, faithful readers, tomorrow we'll have the new Stupor Girl for you, and maybe we'll be posting pretty soon about her hideous new hair or whatever the fuck she's up to now. I, for one, am kind of happy she got her FB back. Now I don't have to go to her stupid goddamn blog to know what her posts are about.
For all of you voicing your concern, I can happily announce that the Yeti has been vanquished and has retreated back to it's cave of solitude...for now.
Oh and one last thing. We've been getting a lot of inquiries on doing guest writing here. We've decided, if you're interested, you should write them up and send them to: fukutila@hotmail.com. We'll pick the best ones and post them. K thanks.
UNCLE EDDIE OUT!
Tuesday, June 15
GUEST POST: Addressing Tila's "Open Letter"
7:28 AM |
Posted by
HottyRotty
Tila’s claims of how angelic she is, while bashing the
haters has taken an ironic turn as she blogged about a “hater” in Iowa. Of course, it starts with
“bumfuck Iowa” – if
you’ve been to Iowa – it all is bumfuck.
Not
knocking Iowa, I come from nearly the border of Iowa in
Missouri. In fact, some people prefer
not to live in cesspools like Hollywood.
Just
because we don’t care to pack 19844 people into a 20 story
apartment complex doesn’t mean anything except we like (and can afford)
space. That said, living in a building
with sex offenders… I wasn’t aware that any one person had the ability
to kick
people out at will when you don’t own a building. Anything wrong with
apartments? Not at all.
Unless
you consider the irony that Tila herself lives in an apartment,
while bashing someone living in an apartment.
Let’s break down her stupidity, shall we?
“I Address The Haters, that Underestimate Us, then Ride Up On Em Like Escalators”
I admit it.
I do underestimate you – just when I thought
you couldn’t get any dumber or childish – you fake suicide, fake arm
scratches
then cry about it. Then tell people not
to worry. Then get busted by the
cops. I just can’t wait for the next
circus to catch you again. When your
life *might* (I say might because we did not believe you, and we were
right,
but hey, we’ll take the 1% chance) be in danger, the dumbass army begged
you to
Tweet you were okay. Except it was us jellis
haterz who sprung into action,
calling the police and recovery centers to get to you, to make sure you
were
alright. Gee Tila (obligatory wave and a
flipping the bird, fuck you), it was us who did that – not your dumbass
army,
who not only acted like they were worried, but defended your actions of
wasting
police reports and bandwidth that could have been used much better – say
by
showing some idiot in China an lolcat.
At least that would have been amusing.
As for us being like escalators – thanks for the compliment. I do have multiple heights I climb effortlessly,
and always end up on top. You however,
are a nasty piece of gum, stuck to a pipe cover in the floor of a club
that
caters to skanks, sluts and all around tunnel puss-rats.
“Look Up In The Sky, It's a Bird, It's a Plane / Hell Nah, It's "SuperWonder Tila" Runnin' Game”
Runnin’ Game eh? So you admit that you are lying to everyone
for your little game? I get it. Funny.
Really funny. (insert John
Travolta Grease laugh here… ah ha ah ha ha ha.)
“There is something that has to be said, about people, or a certain group of individuals, that have dedicated their lives to terrorize others, or to spew hatred, or some of the wickedest evilest things I have ever seen wished on a human being.”
Yes there is. It’s called Tila and her army. Tila
has spouted hatred and death threats
against the Johnsons, Hiltons, Bijou Phillips, Lohan, Perez and her
haters, to
name a few. She has, if you will,
stooped to “our level” by calling out a hater.
Because you know –it’s like it’s so nice and sunshiny to go on
about one
of her haters for several paragraphs, because she tries to say “with all
due
respect” first. I’ve seen Tila threaten
to “cut a bitch” (maybe she meant herself?), and with the irony in this
very
post, seen her bash on a “hater”. Hey
Tila, I’m a married mother of 2, soon to be 3 – with my own business,
working
on a college degree, own my house, two cars, two dogs and an IQ of 148. I qualified for MENSA before I realized how
stuck up and hoity toity the people are, that they need a club (Tila
army
much?) to praise how great they are. I
have a sex offender on my street, because the city could care less, as
long as
he doesn’t live next to a school. Maybe
it’s cool to do a lynch mob to get people to move, but in reality – 85%
of
people living in a suburban setting live within 8 blocks of a sex
offender. In fact, based on the address you are
living
at, you have not only several within spitting distance, but 17 within 5
miles. Does that define you? By
your logic, I suppose you are the nasty
skank because you live close to one? Of
course, we all know that’s not the defining reason Tila is a skank – she
is
because she’s had so much jizz inside her, the sperm bank called for a
loan.
“There is something to be said about this new world we’re living in, where people feel that since they have anonymity behind a computer keyboard, that they can let out all of their life’s angers and frustrations on complete strangers, celebrity or otherwise.”
You know, Mr. Google told
you who we
all were. We are shaking so hard that
you know who we are.. wait – you said anonymity? So
you are saying you don’t know who we are?
Did
Mr. Google not like his blowjob or did your knees finally blow out
before he
finished and you didn’t get our names?
“There is something to be said about people who wish sssoooo bad to gain fame, that they do so by defaming my name.. In hopes I might mention their retarded blog that is nothing but knock-offs of mine. Or hoping I might mention their names or their twitter pages, so they can finally get their precious 42 followers.”
I, like most of the
jellis haterz,
have no desire for fame. We aren’t
defaming your name, you are – and it’s not even your real name. Irony defined here kids. Take
notes – “knockoff blog” – except Tila
has the exact same tags, exact same colors, exact same slogan as Perez,
and
STILL cannot get advertisers. Don’t be
jealous that the Rot Spot beats out your blog – YOU provide our
material. We just report it. And
guess what? We have exclusives! How’s
the Onion treating ya?
“There is something to be said about those who lack their own ambitions and goals, only to make their ambitions and goals to take down others.”
I have plenty of
ambitions and
goals, but we’ll not delve into that here.
What I will say, is that my other goal IS to take Tila down. You see, when a nasty skank ho like Tila (who
by the way, knows the blog is retarded apparently, even though she
claims to
never see it, or read what haters say, and is also supposed to be
receiving
that lolsuit any day now, I digress…) when a nasty skank ho like Tila
makes fun
of rape, and you’ve been raped – it pisses you off. When
you spend 4 years battling severe
endometriosis, suffer 5 real miscarriages and she makes a joke of it –
it
pisses you off. When her worst story of
childhood is having to work in a flea market and you’ve seen more
horrors than
any other human should – it pisses you off.
And now that you’ve made fun of people with Dissociative Identity
Disorder – DID - (even though Tila likes to say Multiple Personality..
they do
not use that term any longer), fake cut yourself and trash your own
place – it
pisses people off who have seriously blacked out and done things they
don’t
know about. It pisses off people who
know people who have committed suicide or have tried to.
It’s not funny. None of that shit should
EVER be used to
create press or attention for any reason whatsoever. When
you do – it pisses people off.
“Well, for all those people, since you don’t seem to know how the Soul, the Mind, and the Body works, let Mama T teach you children a little something… Now gather around boys and girls, it’s time for Kindergarten, since your parents clearly did not give you the necessary tools you need to better our world.”
Since you have shamed
your parents
so badly they refuse to have anything to do with you or care if you die,
I
really don’t think now is the time to try and play teacher of manners. Or did you want to show people how to rape a
guy, eat pizza and tweet at the same time?
Cause let me tell you something sweetie – I have great sex and
when you
have great sex – nothing else crosses your brain except your eyeballs. I’m sorry you are that bad at having sex, and
that you are not good enough that you can’t even wake up a sleeping man
with
that tunnel you call a cooch – but normal people, yeah.. we have good
sex and
once we get started, our hands are on each other (because all hands,
fingers
and mouths are in use if you do it right) and my cooch ain’t so loose
that my
man doesn’t wake up if I sit on him as if there is nothing there.
“Ya see, your soul is just like your body. If you eat double cheeseburgers every day, eventually, your heart will be attacked. There is no way around it. And in the same token, if you keep spewing out venom, from your mind, your thoughts and your words… Your soul too will be attacked.”
So THAT’S how you got to
be
souless!!! I was wondering about
that. I suppose experience does give her
a few points up to teach this to us. I
mean, her soul is so “attacked” it looks like Baghdad circa 2003. Some theories for DID (mind you, not a
doctor, just presenting thoughts) are that people feel so extreme in
their
normal reality, these additional people manifest to deal with situations
that
the main persona cannot handle. Think
Me, Myself and Irene without the dead cow, funny one liners or the
albino. The giant dong is still there though. If we follow this theory – Jane manifested to
kill Tila. So it’s really Tila that
wanted to commit suicide, but Jane manifested because Tila didn’t have
the guts
to do something Tila herself wants to do.
“In other words, all this evil that surrounds these people, guess what… They are the ones who will lose. Because Mama T is still here!! And they are still nobody.”
One remark to this. It doesn’t matter if I’m famous in Hollywood,
my children and husband think I’m a great somebody and THAT is all that
matters
in this world is family - you have none to care for you.
“As a matter of fact, you are somebody. You live in Bumfu*k Iowa, and you live in apartment buildings with registered sex offenders. You collect welfare checks and food stamps, so you can open up web pages designed to defame fair maidens. Yes, I know who you are. My people are already watching you and they know your every moves. They know who you’re talking to, they know what you say. And when the time is right, you will pay for your actions, for your terror, for your stalking of my life. This is beyond normal. This is a sign of the times we are living in, and I am afraid for our future if this is the product our children are becoming.”
You are about 2 minutes
older than
me Tila. Don’t be jealous that you haven’t
had your money machine of a child off someone famous to sit around and
collect
welfare (welfare isn’t always from the government). For
someone who has to wait around to go to
FREE rehab because she’s flat ass broke – I really don’t think you
should be
talking about anyone taking handouts.
I’m picking my nose and flinging boogers at you – can you see
that
dearie? Come on, tell me – what did I
say on June 4th, 2010 and who did I say it to?
If you are so on to us – you’ll be able to
say it right away! It’s even sadder that
people like you could possibly have a product of a child.
By the way, our children are not
products. We don’t sit on assembly
lines, getting porked on one end, being fingered by doctors as we go
down the
line to pop out something at the end.
You see, since no guy in their right mind will have a child with
you,
you don’t understand that. It takes
blood, sweat, tears, worry, love, care – things you will never
understand to
raise a child. It’s “products” like you
that corrupt them, making fun of rape and miscarriage – making false
claims of
DID and fake cuts on your arm to get pity.
You know how much easier it would be to raise children if we
didn’t have
to explain why cunts like you exist? It
would be so much nicer not to have to explain to them that some people
are just
that stupid, to pull the stunts you do and to direct them that it’s no
way to
live. That lying is plain stupid and
never gets you anywhere. The thing is,
with sluts and skanks – there are enough that even if we eradicate or
reform
one, another will be in your place. When
you fade away in the next year or two, and my son will never have heard
of you,
when he’s a teenager – there’s another one, doing famewhore stunts and I
will
be the one to tell him to RUN RUN RUN FAR FAR AWAY FROM PSYCHO
BITCHES!!! He’ll ask how I know, and I’ll tell
him… if
you knew Tila, and saw the things she did on a daily basis – then you
know what
gutter sluts look like. So I guess I
could say thank you, for giving me experience on the exact kind of women
I want
my boys to not only stay away from, but RUN FAR FAR AWAY, screaming down
the
street away from any one like you. As a
mother – you should feel really nasty and ashamed that there are women
who will
tell their sons to stay away from girls like you. No
guy wants to bring you home to Mama. As a REAL
Mama – I’d be have a Madea slap fit
if my son brought home trash like you.
And if a woman like you walked through my door, I’d make him
throw a
trash bag over your head and take you to the curb because that’s where
women
like you belong.
“Your mama would be proud.”
My mama is proud. I left a man who put his hands on me when I
was pregnant with my first child, worked as a waitress at a fast food
joint,
went back to work 2 weeks after giving birth, was on WIC and I made my
own way
to get off WIC and Medicaid. I worked
for everything I have. It wasn’t always
easy, and it wasn’t always cheap, but I never had to hide in shame from
my
family like some gutterslut famewhores I know.
Being on welfare and food stamps in this economy isn’t exactly
taboo. Millions upon millions joined in
the last 3 years – people who thought their lives were made just 5 years
ago. While at the WIC office, yeah I saw
morons with their kids wearing Gucci, diamonds and driving down in an
Escalade. I showed up for my WIC checks
in a 1994 Mercury Wagon. But I bought
that car on my own. I made my way for my
kids. And that’s certainly nothing you
are going to make me feel ashamed of or for.
“So anyhow, keep spewing forth your venom. And you will find yourself even less happy in life than you already are. Just watch. Cause in the end, I’m not the one that’s going to lose. No, No, No… I’m definitely not one that’s going to lose. The Proof is in the pudding. Where am I? And where are they? They’re just upset that they’re stuck in their dead end jobs (if they even have one) and that I am a woman of ambitions, goals, and achievement. Yes, every goal I have set for myself in life, I have achieved, and there are many more to come.”
You’ve already lost babe. You’ve lost your friends, your family, and
respect of fans who have become flabbergasted over your little stunts. You have a whopping 4 people in your little
army ready to defend you. I have more
than that living in my house! Where are
you? I’d say standing on the corner of
Skank Street and Slut Drive, whoring yourself out any way you can. Where am I?
In a loving marriage (6 years next month), wonderful kids,
beautiful
dogs, a 52” flat screen LCD, running my own business, working on my
degree
standing on Up and Coming St. and Happy Road.
Hey, don’t get all mad – you asked.
What goals have you achieved?
Hmm… killing off your fiancé, going to Australia writhing on the
floor
while supposedly bleeding profusely from a miscarriage, denting your
head at
night and cutting yourself while NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU enough to take
you to
the hospital. When you “dented your head”,
who could you call to help you? The
ambulance and a paparazzo.
“These people, can’t do anything without me. If I did not exist, they would have nothing to talk about, no website to bash me with, and no ambition for anything. The 80% of their lives that’s dedicated to hatred, towards me, would be empty and devoid. The other 20%, they eat, shi* and sleep. Take away the 80% that is me, and all they will be left with, is hanging out with their registered sex offender neighbors. I would hate me too!!!!”
No, you got your math all
wrong –
100% of my hatred goes towards you.
Because you are the one that causes it, so you deserve it. You see, while I sit her writing on a new
laptop, watching my nice TV, having my husband laugh over my shoulder at
your
stupidity – you are sitting there with some pills, a trashed bedroom
(that
given the empty bottles and trash on the floor cannot have been nice
before you
faked all this) and NO FRIENDS OR FAMILY.
You see, not everything in life is about how much you can get the
media
to talk about you. Real people care about
those they surround themselves with.
Yeah, you say that only jealous people hate on others? Well you spent all this time hating on us –
how jealous are you? So jealous you
can’t see straight. So jealous, you pop
pills to make yourself feel better. So
jealous, that when people stop talking about you, you cry and make up
some fake
drama in life just so those 4 people can say they care about you. Us “little people” don’t need to be reassured
by strangers that someone cares for us.
“So with that said, I need not devote anymore energy to these filthy individuals. I pray that God bless your soul, and show you a way to true life, because life is too short to waste it on hating people you don’t know. Life is too short to think evil is a true goal. Life is too short, to think Miss Tila is going to go.”
You will always devote
energy to us
haters. Without us, you are even less
than nothing. You are a zero – with us,
you are a -17. You say life is too short
to spend hating, but you mention us haters at the rate of 10 to 1 over
your
fans. Without us, NO ONE would be
watching you. And without us, you’d have
nothing to spend your time on and realize how pathetic your life is. Without us, you’d have to step up and realize
how lonely and nasty you are, how you wish you had a tenth of what we do
in
your life. And without us, NO ONE, would
have sent cops to check up on you and catch you in your latest big drama
lie. When we do fade away, as we slowly
are because it’s fun, but real life happens – you will be left with
yourself,
your “addiction”, and a busted ass apartment, with no car, no friends,
no
family and no one to talk to. I say
that’s the biggest tragedy of them all.
“I’m still here bitches”
Yeah, and?
I’m still here too. Wait, am I?
Or am I a figment of Jane’s imagination?
Oh wait, yeah – you’ll never leave because if you leave Twitter
or your
asinine blog, you’ll have absolutely nothing left.
“Love, and only Love,”
Does best Tila voice –
“And I mean
that for you, because it doesn’t apply to me cause Imma cut these
bitches and hate
on haters.”
“Miss Tila
4 Eva”
Now dammit, last night you
said it’s
Tila Fucking Tequila – who are you today?
Labels:
deceit,
google,
guest post,
lies,
miss tila,
tila tequila,
tila's open letter to the haters
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