God, you guys! You ruined the surprise! We've been working on the PR.com interview since yesterday but NOOOOO you guys had to leave it in the comments and ruin it for everybody! GEEZ!

Just playin' y'all. You know we love you! But you gotta trust us that we're on top of this shit. Who run this motherfucker? That's right, Rotspot. Now sit on Uncle Eddie's lap and listen to a story about a little delusional blond gnome.

A long, long time ago, in a forest far, far away...










I took it upon myself to underline all the parts that made me LOL. But let's discuss it a little bit, shall we?

So the first thing I underlined is that it calls her a Vietnamese immigrant. I'm sorry, but don't you actually have to immigrate from Vietnam to be called a Vietnamese immigrant? Say, like, your parents immigrate from Vietnam before you're born and you're born in Singapore, does that really make you a Vietnamese immigrant? *Credit goes to STFUtilaOMG for pointing this out to me!* Example:


Yes, I know, Wikipedia isn't the most TRUSTED of sources. But go ahead, look for yourself. See if you can find any different information. I couldn't. I did find this though, and it made me lol for hours:


.....Anyway! Let's continue with Tila's PR.com interview.

She talks a lot about her new gossip blog, which begs the question WHAT NEW GOSSIP BLOG? I don't see one, do you? Why is she doing all this press for something she couldn't get released on time and STILL isn't up? Kind of reminds me when she did all that press for being pregnant, and we know where that turned up...

"I'm so smart that I think I'm an alien sometimes."

 LOL just sayin'. Anyway, lots of us think you're an alien sometimes too, Tila,but that doesn't have to do with how smart you are. It has to do with the shape of your head. See?

Okay moving on. Blah blah blah, Ambassador. Ugh, I'm so sick of this one. Seriously Tila, there are so many nude pictures and fucking softcore porn videos of you out there that you will NEVER EVER EVER BECOME AN AMBASSADOR. Go here to see what it takes to become an ambassador.

Also, she's so humble, isn't she? Talking about how her video got deleted off of Facebook because girls are jealous, and how she's so pretty and smart AND INTELLIGENT all at the same time! How exactly is one smart AND intelligent at the same time? Nice.

So then we get to the video of her shoplifting from CVS. I don't know if Allison Kugel is retarded or just playing into Tila's ego, but nobody on earth took that shit seriously. Tila is a horrible actress and should stick to Skinemax if she ever tries acting seriously. (Yes I know she had a 2 minute scene in 'Chuck and Larry' where she plays a fucking Hooters girl, I'm talking SERIOUS acting, and you know it's only a matter of time until she tries that shit again.) Click here if you haven't seen the CVS video and want a good laugh.
I lolled extra hard when she talks about how sweet she is with people, and in relationships. I mean, really Tila? Are you sure about that?


Oh shit, my bad y'all. Tila is sweet as fucking pie. I just forgot.

Okay, you guys see where she says "I know I will dethrone his site in less than a month?" Okay, keep that in mind. Don't think we won't be checking stats.

Oh, here we go. The crotch shots. Really Tila? There's never been a picture like that of you? I want you guys to go to the Hotspot. I know, you shouldn't because she gets paid when you go. But I want you to see how sneaky Tila is. When she gave this interview she (or her people, who knows) deleted the crotch shot pictures from her Paparazzi photo album. I'll make it easy for you. Here's her photo page. Click on Paparazzi. Notice a certain one is missing? Gosh, Tila, you're too smart for us. You really must be 10 steps ahead! Because nobody was quick enough to save those before you deleted them!

Oh shit, wait.


I love how she labels them "crotch shot" just to make it easier for us. Tila, this makes you look bad, as usual, but this makes Allison Kugel look REALLY BAD. LOL. Good. That's what you get for being a hack journalist, Allison.

Moving on, isn't Blue Dress on her new album? Is she saying she wrote that AGAIN? Lord have mercy. I...I can't even be bothered. You all know it's a Depeche Mode song. I can't do it.

LOL she gets to the Tila Tequila name again. This time she gives both lies, that she got it in 8th grade and that it was just a screen name. Ugh, so here, I can't be bothered to out this shit again. Just read what I said the first time.

I can't believe she combined the two. And poor Carlos gets left out in the cold AGAIN.

Oh, and I feel like we need to make this clear. Tila? We are most certainly laughing at you. Don't believe me?


How was that? Got it now? Okay good, let's move on.

Ugh, really I'm so bored with this slut by now. Aren't you? I mean, it's the same old bullshit over and over and over. "I'm adopting, I was pregnant, I fucked a DJ" OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Goddammit Tila, you're boring me!

Just for funsies, I included Allison's info, in case any of you want to drop her a line and tell her she's a fucking sham. I already did. Hell, link her here. Tell her to stop being a fucking pussy and get the real story. DO SOME FUCKING RESEARCH, ALLISON, AND MAYBE YOU'D RETAIN SOME FUCKING CREDIBILITY. Just sayin'.

Later, asswads, I'm out!