Okay so the reviews (and by reviews I mean the people unlucky enough to be there are tweeting about it) are rolling in, and here's what we have so far.

@CheckOne2Paris over on twitter gave us this picture of "Tila rocking conga room for all 6 of us." I prefer to believe she's showing off how her armpit looks like a vagina, but whatever.


He also gave us this video, that I'm currently having trouble snagging so I'll just embed it. It's 4:30 in the morning, Uncle Eddie is tired. Suck it.



Yeah, I don't know why she's on the ground either.

@luvbrebre tweeted "wowsy, tila tequila show rung in the crowd today.a whopping 20 peeps...at conga room so far.. looks like im off early moohaha"

But the best one definitely comes from my homegirl @MissTilaOMG who twitpic'd us THIS PICTURE OMFG and wished us to point out her wonky fucking nipples. If you ever had any doubt, let this put an end to it once and for all.


Dear Lord, that's not even human! Tila should sue the doctor that gave her that hack job. She's always telling us she's from a 3rd world country...maybe she just means her tits are from a 3rd world country. I'd believe that.

So I'm sure tomorrow she's going to tell us how she was AMAZING and OMG SHE ROCKED THE PLACE and the CROWD WAS HUGE and SO MANY STARS WANTED TO FUCK HER. But I'm going to believe the people tweeting about it. Just saying.

Here's some more pictures to make you lose your breakfast:



Check out the rest of them here at OK! Magazine.

Mr. Bradshaw, who you see running out in all his effeminate V-necked glory in that video, really REALLY couldn't rip off Lady Gaga anymore, could he? This is really about as bargain bin as you can get. Jesus.

Hey kiddies.  Education is super important.  Without an education you'll end up sounding like an idiot.  Like Tila.  And then you won't have any other option than to be an overly sexualized bimbo, and people will only love you for your wonky tits and INCREDIBLY loose vagina.  So come sit on Uncle Eddie's lap and we'll have a geography lesson.

Let's learn about Singapore.  First off, did you know that Singapore is NOT in Vietnam?  So if you were born in Singapore, you are NOT from Vietnam!  Even if your family is from Vietnam, YOU ARE NOT.

Secondly, did you know that Singapore is NOT a 3rd world country?  In fact, it is one of the richest states in East Asia!  Singapore is the fourth wealthiest country in the world in terms of GDP (PPP) per capita and twentieth most wealthiest in terms of GDP (nominal) per capita. Despite Singapore's small physical size, the country has the world's ninth largest foreign reserves and one of the biggest and most technologically advanced military in South-East Asia.  You can click here to learn more! 

And thirdly, did you know that Tila Tequila is an idiot?



Yes, there will be a test on this.


(From TRS: I didn't realize that you could get food stamps in a fake third world country.  In fact, there are countries that ARE NOT third world countries who DO NOT have the option of government assistance.  I just can't quite understand or comprehend the idea of a group of Buddhist "gang bangers" bringin' commotion to their gated community in Houston twenty years ago.  I guess at around nine years old skipping rocks in your community pool is considered being a "hard ass" when it's against the rules.  -  And out of the blue it hit me!  I get it now!  THIS is how TT learned to fuck for what she wanted.  I guess poor little Thien Thang Ching Chong had nooo other way to eat in Vietnam (bless her little heart) so she had to start swindlin' and fuckin' for food stamps.) 

Oh and by the way, her blog still didn't launch.  Supposed to be tomorrow sometime.  2 nights ago (so either April 30th or May 1st) I was looking through her old tweets and LOOKIE WHAT I FOUND:


Yes, you can see how fucking long ago that was.  That's 53 days shy of a year ago.  That means that was approximately June 23rd, 2009.  JESUS she's been working on it that long!!!  And it sucks!  The topics got leaked today, you can see them over on Spiked's blog.  No, nobody tell her Nicky Hilton's name isn't spelled Nikki.  Let her dig her own grave.  And I'm certain this is real, I mean, look how up her own ass it is.

Here's the intro video she just posted.  Don't play a drinking game where you take a shot every time she loses her place and forgets what she's talking about.  Uncle Eddie don't want no alcohol poisoning on his hands.




And I want to apologize because right now it's just ol' Uncle Eddie rockin' the Rotspot.  I do have some good stuff to show you!  I really do!  But you gotta hold your horses a little bit!  Or Uncle Eddie will hit you with his ring hand!