Thursday, November 11

postheadericon Like Oh Em Gee!

So check this out - Tila makes a big announcement on Veteran's Day. Now - we all know Tila's extensive USO tour takes so much time out of her schedule, but at least SHE could be the one to post the thanks for our troops, right? Because like, POW! Soldiers are like, awesome, and they've begged her to come over.... riiiiiiight? Nope - because it's "Tila Staff" who takes the time out of their busy day.
But alas, Tila was working on yet another post of "look at ME, look at ME". As usual for my posts, I'll paste the quotes, add my thoughts and save screen shots for the day she eats more of her words... ya know, as opposed to just pills, Cup'O'Noodles and meth.

We already know Tila has claimed to want to switch the format of her site. It didn't happen. However, I want to refresh your memory before I go to today's post. October 21st, exactly 3 weeks to the day prior:

In just a very SHORT 6 months since my site has been launched, it has been doing so well thanks to all of you, my readers! So I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who continues to show my site support by coming here everyday, as this site wouldn’t exist without you! I love you!

Anyway…I remember when I first started building this site from scratch, I wouldn’t sleep for days on end! At one point, I almost threw in the towel because it was such hard work and took up so much of my time that I became EXHAUSTED! At one point I had NO LIFE because this website WAS MY LIFE!
Yes, in 6 short months, she's managed to... do nothing. See, her fans are just so unhappy with this format that has been "so successful". I just like the second paragraph because Tila has claimed to spend $30k on her site (pay herself?) and have a staff of 20-30, of which, none are currently declared under any registered businesses affiliated with Tila. She also makes fun of Perez and how she has soooo many more readers - her case is based upon "comments", so that means the Rotspot actually outdoes her AND Perez! Don't you feel lucky to be reading about our thoughts on skankwhores? I mean really!!! You are sooooooooooo special! Oh Em Gee!

Now, moving onto today (we'll revisit the 21st in a moment), I posted this November 5th:

Next topic!
What happened to "my blog won't be about celeb stories anymore but more about ME ME ME!"? It's still an RSS feed of other stories, and quite frankly the most boring ones. All the "exclusives" that any other rag had the slightest interest in were sold to other outlets. Way to treat your fans to "you you you". You sold off all the stories AND copies of documents, instead of driving traffic to your site. Is that because you know it's failed so hard that if you didn't put it up there, no one would see it? Sorta like that tree falls in the forest scenario?
Hmmm... curious at best, but my point remains the same, here's what Tila has to say.

I just wanted to stop in really quick to let you in on what’s been going on in my busy world these days! There is A LOT going on, but I’m going to try to make this as short as possible so you don’t have to end up reading a book in this blog! haha! Ok so first big news is that I have decided that I no longer want to blog about celebrity gossip. I liked it better when I had my OWN official website, where it’s just all about me. So that it’s easier for my fans to keep up on my life and what I’m doing next and where I’ll be next…etc. Just like how my other official website (domain changed because she's a whore) used to be! I realized that with this Celebrity Gossip Blog, a lot of my fans get confused because they actually come to my website just for me, and not to read about everyone else! Supply and demand! :) I noticed that this is what my reader’s want, by the traffic I get each time I post something. So, that’s one big news I am really excited about!

Let's just start by saying Tila's "really quick" is only in the mind of a meth fueled rant. So we are back... again... to the "I'm going to post about ME!" bullshit. I, as a great reader-between-the-liner, see this whole paragraph as "no one cares to read my RSS feed and it's not all about ME ME ME, so I'm going to make it all about ME ME ME to feed my ego!". Alas, we move to her "realization" that "fans" don't come to her site for the INTENDED PURPOSE she started out with. I like her admitting failure. That and that her fans are too stupid to know which posts are about her and which are about celebs, apparently. Why don't they come there for celebs? Because they get their celeb news from actual sites. She concluded this by her traffic, when clearly, her traffic on her own posts are due to the lolz we get from her retardedness.

So starting on November 15th, that will be the LAST DAY you guys will be reading about celebrity gossip on my site! After November 15th, I will either temporarily shut down this site and put up a splash page while I work with my web team to come up with a new design and layout for my BRAND NEW OFFICIAL WEBSITE..or the second option is to keep the site open, so this way you guys won’t have to miss me too much and i can just blog when there’s an announcement I need to make about my life, where I’ll be next, new projects, or simply because I want to keept in touch with you guys..etc. So right now I’m debating on which way I should go….. So I need your help on that! Should I keep my website up so that I can still keep in touch with you guys, or is it better to just put up a splash page while me and my web team work on the new layout for my brand new official website? Me, personally, I wanted some time off to lay low and just let everyone forget about me for a while and just put up a splash page, while I’m working on the new site. That’s what I initially had in mind, but since I love my Tila Army and my reader’s, I want you guys to help me decide on whether or not I should keep this website open or put up the splash page while I work on my new website design. Leave comments and let me know what I should do! :)
More "TELL ME YOU LOVE ME - I NEED VALIDATION!@!#!$@$%" crap. A few things jump out here: one being that she has no idea how to run a test site, because she can't function without taking it all down. Two being that a web "team" (that she already paid thousands for) can't bring a site within a week or so, assuming she's already been working with them? I can redesign a site from scratch in 2 days, graphics and all. And let me tel you kids, I'm not the best out there. Me, personally - I prefer she goes away for everyone to forget about her - just letting you know Tila. And stay that way!

Regardless, I’m really excited to turn this website back into my OFFICIAL WEBSITE! No more celeb trash gossip! Although my site has been doing really well with that stuff, I just felt like it was interfering with MY OWN announcements and news! So again, starting on November 15th, you will no longer be reading about celebrity gossip on this website! YAY! It’s time for a change and new beginnings and I am doing JUST THAT!
Turn it back? It never was, it's not even good enough for a has been! But you see, 3 weeks ago, it was soooo successful and everyone just like, OMG, LOVED it - that Tila is calling it celeb trash gossip. And the purpose of her site to begin with, as she stated over and over and over - was "interfering" with her ME ME ME ME ME ME LOOK AT ME bullshit.

As for my NEW WEBSITE, it’s going to be even better than this one! My team is already working on the new layout with me as we speak! I hope it’s not going to take TOOOOO long, but if anything, I still have this site so if they don’t finish in time for when I want my big re-launch, I can still always use this site to blog for now. So yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy get ready for a super duper dope MISS TILA OFFICIAL FAN SITE!!!!!! This new website will be all about me, my life, tons of photo galleries, my tour dates, new tv shows, magazine shoots, etc etc… Everything Miss Tila! So I’m super excited about my new website! I have had a lot of fun with this site being a celebrity gossip site, but then after a while, I just felt like I was no longer passionate about it. Plus half of these celebs are my friends and I don’t wanna have to keep telling my staff who they can and cannot blog about. It’s a pain in the ass! So that’s it! will now turn into a MISS TILA OFFICIAL FAN SITE!
"I hope it's not going to take too long" actually means "I hope I can down enough meth and pills to stay awake!!!". We see here, if she were to be totally honest, if it's all about the things she mentioned, it will be two posts of drama, "plans" that never come to pass, FAKING "charity work", FAKING pregnancy and adoption" and lying about things in the works (a la App, comic book, two TV shows, book, USO tour, 130 city world tour, going to -insert foreign country here- to do work) that we get to point and laugh about. Half the celebs are her friends though, doncha know? Even though most of them don't realize she exists and those who do, think of her as a punchline. Even her latest "LOOK AT ME" stunts ended with two declarations "not friends, just business" and "I don't even know Tina Tequila".

Now onto her "works in progress":

1) Shooting my new music video for “WALKING ON THIN ICE” this weekend! Going to be extremely amazing! Can’t wait to show you guys the finished product!

2) I just did some more work with “MTV” I can’t tell you what exactly it is yet, but let’s just say for now that you’ll be seeing me back on TV very soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOHOOO! :)

Does that video come with the porn, or is it a separate soundtrack? Who did you steal the song from? How many Powershot clips will you turn into one?

"MTV" isn't the MTV we know, it's for a new network called Moneyhungry Trash Viewing. I think we are on our 7th or 8th "I'll be back on TV soon". Still hasn't happened, thank GOD!

3) Miss Tila in Italian “VOGUE” magazine……….. yes. VOGUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY! yessssirrrr! This is another dream come true that I can check off of my checklist! :) more info coming soon! Miss Tila going HIGH FASHION now! What better way to do it, than be in “VOGUE?” damn that’s HOT!
Probably in an ad for hoochie pants. Frankly, I think the only person who actually made any deal about any overseas Vogue was Janice Dickenson (great company there). My million dollar guess is an ad, if it actually happens. Tila's head alone wouldn't allow for a cover. If you are a believer in Vogue (a desperately falling mag in these times), feel free to write them a message.

4) MIss Tila Merch line as well as Miss Tila Iphone App is almost done!!!! I’m trying to push them to get it launched by December!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are going to LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE all of my new merch, clothing line, and Iphone app! I have been working extensively on these projects and put a LOT of my time into it, and that’s why you guys will understand why it’s been taking so long once you see the finished products! They are super top notch quality and you can tell that I put a lot of time and effort into building all of this!!!!!! So get ready for some SUPER AMAZING “TILA MERCH/CLOTHING LINE” and “MISS TILA IPHONE APP” coming out hopefully by this DECEMBER!!!!
Okay, so.... I posted "Next topic! Where's the iPhone app? Why did your dating site die after less than 6 months active? Why did your clothing line you bragged about die after a year? Where's the comic book?" in the same post. The reason I posted it, we know she failed at merch several years ago when she was actually somewhat popular. She's been talking about the merch site for more than a year and the earliest note I have on hand says she was launching the iPhone app as early as June 2009. Each time a fan asked about it, she ignored them or said "that's why I've been too busy to chat with fans".

5) I have been laying low for a while, and will continue to lay low because I have been working on something HUUUUUUGE behind the scenes that’s been taking up all of my time! I can’t tell you guys yet what it is, but just KNOW that by 2012, you will be seeing a LOT more of Miss Tila on the big screen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POW!
Anyone else just think it's absolutely stupid for a 29 year old "woman" to be saying POW!? Okay, that aside, we've also been hearing about big screen this and that for more than a year. IMDB is pretty accurate and on top of the game for things even announced, Tila has no acting credits or projects other than a slutty Hooters chick in a 4 year old movie. She portrayed herself, a very degrading part in fact on Cleveland Show, which was actually quite tame to her.

So, backtrack to 3 weeks ago.
O HOOOORAY for our 6 month anniversary!!!!!!!! I remember when I first launched it, hater’s kept telling me that I was going to “fail” at doing this…. but hey… look who’s still blogging and look who’s still coming back here everyday to read about what’s new?? I’m looking at you, haters! I’m really happy that I decided not to throw in the towel.. ...I hope that in another 6 months, It will continue to grow, which I have no doubt that it will! I will continue to dedicate my time to update you guys on the latest news and continue to interact with all of my reader’s here.
EPIC fail. Just EPIC. You failed, you gave up and you aren't still blogging!!! This whore don't even remember what she said! Though, we never did get those green screen, goofs, any celeb interviews that were coming weekly with those "big names" you already lined up and "hottie of the week" that wasn't YOU. You couldn't even keep up with Tila Army member of the week - you already profiled the two!

As a side note, one of her biggest fans, who everyone knows, and must be a dingbat to boot is incredibly sick. Tila didn't address her at all, the very girl who was an "Army Member of the Week" and gave Tila a birthday present. She does address another one though, talking about ME ME ME. Way to address a very sick fan but go with another and talk about YOU YOU YOU!

Ya dumb slut.


Joann said...

Ah hello...her AOI's didn't get confused.

Everybody knew this was suppose to be a celebrity gossip blog and not a site about her, at least that's the way it started out.

She talked about that piece of crap celebrity blog for months telling every detail of what she would have on it and how it was going to blow Perez Hilton's celebrity gossip blog out of the water.

So how could her AOI's be confused thinking it was going to be all about her? She's using them as an excuse for her failed celebrity gossip site yet she loves them.

Those BS posts she would make about herself and the response of the haters was the only time she would get a lot of hits to a post on her site and they were 95% negative.

If the skank wants a website about herself where 95% of the comments are negative that shows how pathetic and desperate she is for attention.

I personally don't give a crap what she does with her gossip's garbage anyway you look at it and will never be successful no matter how many times she finds some fool to re-design it.

The "haters' called it when they said her celebrity blog would not last a year.

We all know she don't have a web team so this new site may never see the light of day and what pray tell does she need time to lay low from??

It's funny how she's always got huge deals going on with a TV show or some movie deal but can never tell you what it is.

Alicia Keys pictures were in Vogue Italia recently and I must say she looked beautiful.

I guess Tila saw it and decided she now wants to be in Vogue Italia to help her image and what happen to the video tour of her mansion...wasn't she suppose to have it up this week? SMH.

Jacqueline said...

OMG!!!....I loved this post so much....very well inked. You nailed this skank very well....Thanks a lot guys!

Anonymous said...

Which fan is sick, if I may so ask? Always sad when someone young is seriously sick.

Anyways good article. I'm waiting for December to pass and no app and no merch.

Tila's such a damned waste.

Mystie said...

JFC, how many fucking times can she mention "SPLASH PAGE" "SPLASH PAGE" "SPLASH PAGE" in that damn entry.

**Migraine caused by the Slunt now**

She's washing up even quicker than we thought.
So, we see why she has latched onto Mr. Lohan and his girlfriend. They all have the same 'management' now.
Seriously, what kind of management is that? "Famewhores/Idiots/Washed Up R US"??

Anonymous said...

Looks like her staff of 20...I mean her sister...will have to find a real job.

Hannah said...

On Tila Staff writing the Veteran's Day post...Tila Staff is also the only one who wrote blogs keeping up with the gay marriage front in California or anything to do with gay rights, not Tina. That's why I do think she has the one staff member and Tila Staff is definitely not Tina, because Tina could never be bothered to take time out her day to blog about real issues without drawing HUGE attention to it so everyone could see what an activist and humanitarian she was. LOL and yesss she's finally admitting her blog sucks. This whole blog was one eye roll after another, more lies for us stalker haters to keep track of and "nitpick."

Sandy said...

Good point, Joann. What pray tell, does she need time to lay low from??? Garry's allegations? Methinks that's the reason.

Joann said...

@gvkanchan...ParalyzedQueen, one of her AOI's, made Tila a video with a lot of the other AOI's for Tila's birthday.

PQ said she has a fever of 102 for the second day and wants Tila to at least send her a tweet to get better and so far Tila hasn't.

I hope the girl gets better but she got what she deserved from Tila. A snake will always be a snake.

Alanna Kay ♥ said...

Sucks about the whole court thing today. I got all excited for nuffin' ... How much you wanna bet Garry suicides now?

Joann said...

Any of you TRS writers have any inside info on why Gary would show up late to court which did not go over well with the judge.

I don't understand why he would pull a stupid move like that when he was so outraged over what she did to him.

Now he's on his twitter tweeting those puzzling 4-5 word tweets.

I don't care if she got the 3 year RO because Gary don't want to be around her anyway and evidently Tila thinks she has won her case against Gary and she's innocent of everything Gary said about her. lol.

Anyway, has he got something else up his sleeve that we don't know about to put this skank away or what?

Anonymous said...


As far as Tila ignoring PQ, I was almost willing to give the skank the benefit of the doubt this time, thinking that maybe, just MAYBE she wasn't reading comments when PQ's came in. BUT it didn't take long to realize that she was just being her usual narcissistic self; she answered ALL of the ego-stroking comments that were posted around the same time!

Paralyzed Queen....WAKE UP!! (And I hope you feel better soon.)

Cathy said...

Was her site ever? Why would she have a site named that?

"I liked it better when I had my OWN official website, where it’s just all about me. So that it’s easier for my fans to keep up on my life and what I’m doing next and where I’ll be next…etc. Just like how my other official website used to be!"

Perhaps I am confused?

Brittne Rehrauer said...

I love how she's willing to put her staff of "20-30" out of work to talk about herself more.

The one thing that bugs me? The fact that she thinks she's hot shit because of the number of comments her "me, me, me" posts get - when 2/3 of those comments are from "haters." I seriously wish there was a way to get all of the haters to stop. It's just boosting her ego. I've been guilty of commenting there in the past, but I haven't tweeted her or posted on her flog in a few weeks now. It's not hard, guys! We can do it! :)

HottyRotty said...


Seola just input our site there instead of promoting her site that she had listed (notice explanation next to it) :) I was a little confused at first too. Hahaha. I've always owned TilaResistance and/or TilasRotspot :)


m said...

artisteer (which is what designed this site) shouldn't even take 2 days! A professionally designed site not running on wordpress takes time. That's not to say that Tila has a clue what she's talking about but really you shouldn't take it out on real web developers.

HottyRotty said...


Seola didn't design the site, I did. And I honestly didn't count the hours/minutes/seconds that it took to point/click/change around/do again. I don't think her point was how long it took to make "this site".


Seola Uno said...

M - as Rotty mentioned, this site was not done by me. I mentioned I can design "a" site. With all the OS CSS bases out there, starting with that, some minor Photoshop or Fireworks and adding a backend store to compliment a full site I did for my grandfather took me two days. It was a "professional" looking site to any outsider, fully customized with no templates aside from using OSCommerce for ease of shopping cart but all designs and the main pages done by hand. (This was basically a place to see merchandise as it's a local store that does custom work and give updates, while some basic items with no customizing could be bought through a cheapo Paypal IPN setup.)

It took me two total days. I'm just one person and generally, for anything major, need to look up an html code, including 2 hours I spent trying to find and make work a damn simple centering code for scrolling text inside a menu bar. Tila supposedly has a team, she always claims to pay thousands for. A team should easily be able to assemble a pro site within 2 days.

What she's currently proposing is just graphics changes as far as I can tell with no format changes. It'll still be in the publishing format (the FREE one with Press Play) for updates on her, so that would technically already be in place. In fact, she's even went as far as to brag that it's a WordPress... dammit, whatever that "extra", or "gold" or whatever it is package she says she paid for under the VIP program.

Not only that, but the name tagged to her website as the dev goes to a MySpace of a random person without a business or any other works to display. The "history" has everything from a designer for Tila's site, to widgets, to dancer, to songwriter, to... you get the idea. So this person is not a "team" and in relation to web, a graphic designer.

All that aside, this "team" hasn't apparently told her they can create the site on a test and transfer to index or at the very least, build it and ftp in it because she's taking the site down period because it "won't be ready", yet she claims she's been working with them - giving at least a 5 day lead time to the 16th when she posted that.

m said...

I've been part of a team and how long things took really depended on who we were working with. It also depended on however much development we needed to do vs using an out of the box CMS like wordpress. I've been part of a team that worked on a site over 16 months before it was taken live because we had such a picky client.

That said anyone that would work for Tila couldn't possibly know what they're doing, so even with a team it might take them a long time. :)

I want you guys to know I appreciate you taking the time to respond and clarify.

alison m m said...

On a happy note, there is a raging virus out there attacking wordpress blogs. So I hope she stays with wordpress

Anonymous said...

Not really sure how this works, but what about the products that are advertised on her site? Are they there via a contract and is she allowed to change her site without previous agreement by the companies that advertise there?

Kat said...

no wonder she skips over veteran's day ....

Signs & Symptoms of Agent Orange:
Widely reported psychiatric problems are personality change, violent tendencies, thoughts of suicide, profound depression, manic episodes and inexplicable anger and irritability.

Symptoms are evident in the second generation.

Seola Uno said...

No problem M, open conversation, even if it's against what I've said or another theory is encouraged from me.

I do believe Tila is a difficult client, but if you have no other "clients" and knowing Tila can't NOT have a place to ramble on about herself, she can't handle it being down that long. The catalyst to push the current site up was the fact that Joe Francis shut her down on his site.

khandersuk - My guess is, given the particular products, several won't care and two are known scams (I've gotten one that locked me out because it Firefox and Google both deemed it a phishing scam and another with over 1000 complaints out there.) She is truthful in saying that her own posts draw more comments than others, so that may be enough to convince anyone that is legit to stay.

However, if they want out, they have every right under contractual obligation, as long as they knew what they were signing.