Wait, what am I talking about?  Larry Flynt is the Jesus Christ of bad taste.  He's probably laughing his ass off over this.

Let me begin this post by saying I've been to the Hustler Club in Phoenix.  It's okay.  It's not great by any means, nor is it one of my favorite strip clubs here.  They have a fun Halloween night party.  I consider myself to be somewhat of a mammary ranch aficionado (if you're looking for quality, my top two clubs here are Le Girls Cabaret on Washington or Bliss Showclub on W. Deer Valley Road *plug plug*), and I would be sorely disappointed, and probably infected, if I bothered to go to the Hustler Club in Vegas after seeing these pictures.

Let's go through them, shall we?

Tila has that stupid light in a lot of these pictures.  I think it's because she's got the IQ of a 5 year old and she's entertained by shiny things.  Oh, look.  You can KIND OF see something above her eyebrow.  Call me an asshole (you already do), but the idea of her being permanently scarred from the Gathering of the Juggalos makes me feel all moist and romantic.  Speaking of which:

She was SO CAREFUL not to let her hair move.  This is the only picture with a clear shot.  So yes, you can see that something is there.  Just to be a cunt, how about I point out that it looks like cellulite?  In any case, it's probably because she left the bandages on too long, and I'm sure it's going to heal much more than that.  But, like I said, I couldn't be happier that she's scarred.  It's better than a big ol' scarlet A on her chest.  Ever seen Inglorious Basterds?  Just think of it as the juggalos were Brad Pitt and they didn't want her taking off her whore uniform to pass as a normal person.  Feel better?  God knows I do.

"Hey Tila, can you show us that meth mouth?  Excellent!"  Seriously, that shit bugs me you guys.  I immediately think of Michael K. from DListed and the phrase "meemaw mouth."  I thought she had gum, but looking at it more I think it's just one of many disgusting little Tila traits.  But you be the judge.  And no, don't even ask me what's going on with those tits.  Is that a bandaid?  And what's with the tiny heart on the blond below her bigger heart?  Is that a triple nipple?  Oh god, please tell me it's a triple nipple!

Wow, Tila.  Thanks for ruining it with your hideous fucking O-Face there.  Goddamn.  I call this picture "Uncle Eddie Ruins Your Breakfast, Volume 2."  Tila just thought she was at home because of the sheets hung over the windows.  You know, mogul style.  (I can't let you forget that she also talked about hanging trash bags to keep the sun out, because that is some seriously ghetto shit and I really hope she moguls-out the leased Lambo)

Dear God in Heaven, look at those man-hands.  For fuck's sake!  Oh, and check out how entertained everybody in the background is.  I couldn't find one picture where the crowd was looking at her.  Not even a little girl-on-girl can grab attention for you, skeeze.

This is Tila's "Fuck my fake allergy, pour me another one!" face.  It's very similar to her "LOL I have an army of idiots who believe everything I say LOL" face.  You may have gotten them confused.

The look on that girl's face says it all.  You want to submit any captions?  I recommend this one.  That's a doozy.  Also, why the fuck is there an elevator?  PRO TIP: CONCERN YOURSELF WITH HIRING HOT GIRLS INSTEAD OF DECKING OUT YOUR CLUB.  Can somebody get Hustler Vegas on the phone for me?  I think we need to have a little discussion.

The previous pictures were taken from the Hustler Vegas Facebook page.  The following were sniped from x17online.com as you can obviously tell by their watermark.
It wouldn't be Tila if she didn't show us her death roll.  Fuck sanitation codes, the coffee table LIKES herpes.  And yes, that's a mic in her right hand.  There are other pictures of her singing.  Yes, that's terrible, but let's all just be happy she kept her nasty goblin tits in check.  We all remember what happened last time, don't we?
Sorry guys, I had to.  This fucking picture still haunts my dreams.  (Internet rumor: I have to sleep on plastic sheets because of that face)
And finally...this is my favorite picture of the night.
There's just so much going on, but I'd like to take the opportunity and congratulate Tila on getting the ruined weave removed.  I'm 100% sure the last weave was destroyed by eggs, shit and piss, and faygo a the Gathering, and until this past weekend she merely covered it with hats or scarves.  But now we see the absolute glory of this new one!  Tila, that color is 100x better than the blond you had (that Crazy Horse pic is a perfect example).  However!  That length is terrible on you.  I am tempted to think that's your real hair, but most noticeable are your roots (I think Stevie fucking Wonder could see those roots) and the fact that it looks like one of your tracks is slipping in the back.  That's probably from the death roll you fucking insist on doing at every one of your "appearances."  Poor Tila couldn't afford to get a dye job before this event.  SAD FACE. 

Also!  That's a Kid Rock impersonator!  HA!

You know what's funny?  I can tell she tried extra hard to look good.

I hope you guys aren't getting sick of these videos! I know we're having some bandwidth issues, but try to stay with us. It's because there's 20 billion videos on our front page and we're only using blogspot. Also, make sure you have the latest version of Flash, which is Flash 10.

ANYWAY. My girl Tiffanie sent me this video, and I'd say it's the best quality video we have so far.


Some things to look for:

• Tila not only kicks a bottle back at the crowd, she picks one up and throws it at someone. Smart move, dipshit.
• Tila ducks a full bottle of Faygo (I'm pretty sure), it's pretty funny.
• Tila gets hit with the same stuff as the last video, says "My hair still looks pretty."
• Tila gets hit FULL ON with an egg near the end of the video, and it's GLORIOUS. 3:23 mark.

Damn, you guys, I'm LOVING this shit. If anybody makes me an animated .gif of Tila being smacked in the face with these eggs (or piss balloons, whatever they are), I'll be eternally grateful. We have the best readers in the world, so I'm sure one of you can do it!

Our very own beloved Gnome made us a .gif!

So Tila just finished her "set" at the 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos.  I personally stayed awake because I wanted to be around when reviews first started rolling in.  So let me give you a little bit of info first.

Tila went on stage sometime around 2:45 am.  Here's the schedule for the Gathering.  I've circled Tila's show for you, in case you might miss it.

See it?

Anyway, we've been hearing for weeks that the Juggalos had brilliant plans for her.  See, Tila, you actually have a rather large number of "haters," even though you don't want to admit it.  Oh, but wait, I'm sure they all come from the same IP address on your fail blog, don't they?  LOL!  So the Tila Army, the white knights that they are, all try to warn their fair Queen (*cough cough*) that turmoil and terror surely await her!  What does Tila do?  Same thing she always does, she ignores it.

Tonight she posts these two tweets:


That first one pisses me off especially, and I don't even like ICP.  It just seems so flagrantly insulting to me that she doesn't even know the band who hosts this festival.  For fuck's sake.  Anyway, the second one was just fucking funny.  YOU'RE going to spray the crowd, Tila?  You might as well just get up on stage and scream "Who wants cake!?"

Wait, hold up a second.  Maybe you're unfamiliar with the people referred to as "Juggalos."  Let's take a moment and look at some pictures, shall we?


Not kidding.  Okay, back to it.

All grew quiet on Twitter as we awaited news.  Had the Juggalos fulfilled their promises of pelting her with piss and shit?  Had they been entranced by her wonky-ass nipples?  Did she have a new baby daddy with a painted face?

Then oh God.  Oh god oh god oh god.

Could it be?
Dare I dream!?
Oh dear God!  Please, let it be true!  I hesitated in believing it, because these were the only tweets I could find.  I warned everyone (because I'm fucking Debbie Downer like that) to not get too excited just yet.  After all, this is how rumors are started.  Slowly though, more tweets have begun to trickle in...

And we get a little update from Brock


And more from random festival patrons:

We here at the Rotspot will be sure to keep you updated!  Hopefully we'll have a video or some photos to go with this story in a few days!  Stay tuned!

As more tweets come in (while I'm still awake) I'll just add them here, to the bottom.

Oh but we did tell her.  Even her precious Army told her. 


She's another act, right?  So that's pretty much confirmation then.  Hey Tila?  Suck my dick.  Juggalos?  Way to fucking go.  I owe you motherfuckers some Faygo.

Update!!
Okay, so TMZ is reporting on the incident last night.  Complete with photos that make my heart grow three sizes, just like The Grinch!


Remember when Tila rubbed in our faces that anybody she ever met on the street was absolutely PEACHES AND PIE to her, because she was omg so fucking sweet and you just couldn't help but fall in love with her?  Hi, welcome to the Truth.

Aaaaand cue the pity party.

PS:

HA!

Oh, and here's a picture of the stage, post-Tila:

HEY JUGGALOS!  It's almost time for the Gathering!  I know you motherfuckers are excited, and frankly, I'm a little jealous I'm not going.  There's going to be some awesome bands performing.

But there's also going to be a skank performing.

I know you know by now that Tila Tequila is performing for Ladies Night.  And I know quite a few of you have "special surprises" planned.  Oh, you evil people!  We love it!

Anyway!  To our dear readers and any juggalos who happen upon this site, we already have one person who plans on filming this disastrous encounter - it's my homegirl Sailor Vesta, and GODDAMN does she have a doozy in mind - but we're always looking for more!  If you get any great pictures/videos of Tila and what should happen during her performance, please share them!  You can hit me up on twitter (@EduardoRetardo) or you can send your stuff directly to this website: FukUTila@hotmail.com!

We look forward to seeing your stuff!  Have a fucking GREAT time guys!  And be careful...Tila's crabs are known to jump 20 feet.

Hey guys!  Here's a picture of The Virgin Mary I mean an angel of God I mean TILA TEQUILA (phew, got it that time) performing at Strawberry Moon in London. 


Caption contest time!  Do it up, guys.
Right now my favorite is from @Seola1 on Twitter: "Hold on boys, gotta adjust the warts!"

This morning Uncle Eddie got an email about this:

@StellaStewart actually went to the Conga Room that night. Here's what she had to say.


Here's the picture in question where Stella thinks Tila might be drunk. Tila certainly is giving drunk face, and she's standing on the fucking furniture again. You know, you can train a dog not to get on the furniture, but apparently you can't train a midget skank not to.


Oh and a few of you have noticed this in our comments. Here's a screen cap of Tila's Dear Diary post about her event:


WHAT. THE. FUCK. I don't even know what to say. WE KNOW IT WASN'T AT THE STAPLES CENTER YOU DERANGED LITTLE MORON. That would be even worse - only 20 people showing up to the Staples Center? ROUGH! Oh for God's sake.

And then she goes into how she's so smart and pretty and amazing, like she always does, because if Tila doesn't say it NOBODY will. No, Tila, you aren't picked on more because you're so amazing and the total package. You're picked on because you insist you're the total package - you know, smart and pretty and whatever, when really you're just a washed up, pathetic skag trying desperately to stretch your 15 minutes. Fucking vomit.

You know if enough people call her on lying about the Staples Center, she'll backtrack and say it was all a joke and that us "haters" need to get a sense of humor. Sadly, as you can see, it isn't a joke, there weren't even that many people in the first 10 or so comments I read calling her on it.

It must be horrible to be Tila. She probably wakes up every day (read: evening) and realizes that the world would really be a better place without her. Not many people have that displeasure.

According to TT's tweets a few weeks back, she should NOW be approximately 18 weeks pregnant. Last night, while humping the stage, deep throating the microphone, and rubbing on her nipples "performing" she's using quite a few threads (and I mean that literally) to cover up her huge baby bump!!!

So, I'll have you know, that I suffered through the most painful 3 minutes of my entire life for you guys!!!! All so that I could bring you further proof that the dirty little gremlin isn't in fact pregnant....
Here are screen caps taken directly from her sound check in Australia....

If you don't mind listening to what I can only say sounds like a chicken stuck in a garbage disposal...then check out the full vid HERE.....








UPDATE:
Just because I'm an asshole, and want to FURTHER debunk any claims Tila makes about being pregnant...Below is a picture of Kristie Moore (30), who is a personal trainer AND a curler on Canadas Olympic team....she's 5 1/2 months pregnant....just a couple of weeks further along than
whore bag Tila claims to be.....is it me, or is there an actual baby bump here? weird....



UPDATE:
It seems that TT has locked her latest entry. Whether we try to post anon or with our registered user names. What don't you want us saying TT?




UPDATE: So, thanks to the wonderful people in Australia we have a picture of Tila from her concert in Adelaide....aside from the fact that she's wearing some sort of lace curtain wrapped around her, you can also clearly see that there is in fact NO baby bump.... :)


UPDATE: Uh ohs...what's this? ANOTHER PIC from Australia!!! Hmmm...still no baby bump...fuckin WEIRD!!! special thanks to @Mr_Dinh for being a photography genius :)