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Showing posts with label rob johnson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rob johnson. Show all posts
Friday, November 5
Hodge Podge
I've got a mix of thoughts today kiddies, so we're entitling this post Hodge Podge. It'll be all over the place but my points are short, so feel free to pick and choose what you'd like to ponder. We'll start with the somewhat connection/argument about the restraining order.
We've already poked the fun at the 10 yards aspect, but in the midst of comments, I'd like to clarify a few things by comparison to another douche that was also around Tila. Raz B. In case you haven't heard, Marques Houston successfully filed an RO against him. There's again, too much drama for this mama to cover all the angles, but suffice it to say - Houston felt his life was threatened. Now, here's the fun part - Tila also claimed this against Garry. I have copies of both orders filed and some even argued that Tila was granted the RO so therefore she didn't have to pay. I present for you a comparison of the RO's. What makes this interesting is there's somewhat of a similar thread in that they knew each other, had some history, had some really psycho stuff claimed from both sides and someone felt creeped out enough to go file. Difference? You emailed, tweeted and/or PMed me how I might know what Tila did or didn't bring up during RO being issued. I could tell you all day that not only was she given 10 yards so it basically protected her physical being but not really anything of consequence, but she had to pay for it. Well, here's your proof - so to speak - about a truly threatening situation with proof and Tila's claims and the judge doing what he had to to get her to go away. (Both copies were available via Radar Online.)

Now, here are the orders, side by side. Notice the difference in yardage. Tila asked for and was denied 100 yards from the man she "claims" on the internet (but apparently not to the judge - curious no?) attempted to kill her. Houston's claim is that Raz B threatened. See the difference in severity? If reasonable information was provided, or even a slight remote bit of proof as Houston showed, Tila would have been given the full 100 yds.
The other glaring point is the filing fee. More often than not, people without proof or people who threaten lawsuits often are required to pay the filing fees upfront. Those with real issues are not required as the judge deems it necessary for safety. 'Ello - what's this?
Tila had to pay the fees to file. Houston did not. What makes that important is the judge not only felt she wasn't in enough danger to warrant a regular, run-of-the-mill RO, but made Tila pay for it. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's logiiiiiiiiiiiiiistics. (Sorry, couldn't get that out of my head and you kinda need logical thinking - aw hell, you know where I was going. :D )What did Tila's lawyer, Alan Gutman say when Garry first filed on Tila? Well, it's quite ironic:
"Mr. Sun's filing shows that anyone can file anything in a courthouse. He will undoubtedly be held accountable by appropriate authorities for making these false allegations."FYI, as far as I could find, not a single "authority" has charged or investigated Garry for anything. (This does not mean he hasn't, but given both people's propensity to blab....)
Next topic!
Garry's Radio Interview - while it makes for some damn good fodder for us, some insight, whatever you want to call it, Garry is beginning to leech onto the famewhoring himself. He has a strong case for a counter suit, but when you go to far... you help her. Do I think Garry should defend himself? Yes - at the right place and right time, say.... in court. But since I only care about lolz around Tila, speak away my dear, we're enjoying it! All that could come out of it, is the judge laughs and tosses them both - as it stood and I noted in a prior post of mine, Garry had a case to win. I don't believe that is the case any longer.
Next topic!
Tila buying another mansion - I've covered the failed logics in which one would not only buy Raz B a mansion, but herself a mansion, then move again a few months later, one thing dawned on me earlier today while wafting in self pity that my ice cream melted. If one had planned on a trip for months to go out of the country, hell the continent, why would you set a closing date for the times you were "supposed" to be away? Curious no?
Next topic!
Where's Rob, the New Zealander (I get that right Pix? :) ) Where's the Texas Twinz? Where is that hot girl group that "won" a singing show (Gah, the name of the group escapes me for all to hell!)? Where's that hot football star you represented? Where's that hot model you stole from Ford? We were supposed to see them by now!
Next topic!
Where's the iPhone app? Why did your dating site die after less than 6 months active? Why did your clothing line you bragged about die after a year? Where's the comic book?
Next topic!
By now, if we counted all of Tila's pregnancies and stories, in the last year, she would have 4 children, 4 more adopted (with one being Ava Johnson) and twins on the way next month. Most of them named Jayden. Most of them with 5 different baby daddies. In fact, where's the bills Tila promised her fans (and haters alike) from her medical visits, her miscarriage and her IVF?
Next topic!
We are approaching a year out from TamponGate. Will Tila mark the anniversary by shooting a tampon out of her twat in two weeks?
Next topic!
What happened to "my blog won't be about celeb stories anymore but more about ME ME ME!"? It's still an RSS feed of other stories, and quite frankly the most boring ones. All the "exclusives" that any other rag had the slightest interest in were sold to other outlets. Way to treat your fans to "you you you". You sold off all the stories AND copies of documents, instead of driving traffic to your site. Is that because you know it's failed so hard that if you didn't put it up there, no one would see it? Sorta like that tree falls in the forest scenario?
Next topic!
What happened to Tila raving over being with Kid Rock? We knew you wouldn't admit to being with an impersonator! Were you so drunk and coked out that you couldn't tell the difference? What about Franco?
Next topic!
Where's the lawsuit against ICP and the Gathering organizers? The lawsuit against Raz? Casa? Numerous blogs? In fact, where is ANY lawsuit?
Final thought:
As we enter the holiday season, expect more from her. We haven't seen the end of this paparazzo/Tila battle on the internets. It'll be tossed out of court, but she'll cry she won, then open her mouth. Prepare your screencaps kids. She did the same thing when she was ordered to keep her cum trap shut and didn't and tried to delete it faster than she typed it. As it winds down from all the fun over the next few weeks and the court case is heard, she'll be crying for more attention. Maybe I should open a pool up about what day she'll tweet how lonely she is and "this time last year, I was with my wifey" for sympathy from her mentally deranged teenage bottom dwellers.
Tuesday, August 31
Oh hey, what's Rob doing?
So a lot of you have been inquiring as to what Rob is doing. Welly welly well, check this out:
That's right, boys and girls! Rob left yesterday for Hollywood!
Now let me share a secret with you guys. This brings me IMMENSE joy. Why? Because I make no bones about it. I fucking despise that kid. He's all the smug douchebaggery of Garry Sun without any of the redeeming qualities. And I can't wait for this kid to get burned.
It's only a matter of time before he's doing BIG THINGS you guys. You know, like hosting the gay porn awards. Raz B who?
Edit
Ok so it seems lots of you don't know who Rob is, or at least need a refresher.
So yeah. Rob is the
He's also a smug douchebag. I thought he was okay for a while, just misguided. Then he had a few words with people via Facebook. People who tried to warn him and were actually pretty polite about it. He claims all of us are just "jealous haters" and that his music - which is mediocre at best - will speak for itself.
And just for lolz:
I'm going to laugh my ass off when his career is one big, fat crash and burn. Suck to be you, Rob.
Saturday, August 7
Dear Tila Army. Part 1
I'm taking it upon myself to educate you about your beloved Miss Tila. Please note that this is the first and last time I refer to her by that title. She is not "Miss" Tila. She is Tila Tequila: low-life, hooker-tramp personified. "Miss" is a charming southern tradition showing respect for a female. I am neither charmed by Tila, nor do I respect her. But I wonder why you do?
Let's start with my current giggle topic--
Tila Merch
For at least 8 months she's been blathering about setting up a merch account, either at her Hotspot or now, her Flog. Oh, there'll be posters and autographs and limited edition Skank-rabilia. It ain't hard to set up a merch account on a blog. There are tons and tons of programs out there that can be tailored to your needs within minutes. E-commerce is big and believe me, it's been dummied down enough so even a barely functional retarded monkey like Tila can set it up. Oh, but Fatty, you moronic HoHo-eating platypus... she needs posters printed and that takes time.... Um, no. I work in marketing. I work closely with many printers, and their turn-around on thousands of full-color posters of an STD-riddled has-been fame whore can be as little as 24 hours. Other merch, like cups, tshirts, mouse pads, can be had within a few days.
So, why no Tila merch? One would think she wants to monetize her image. I mean it's been proven she'll sell out in a heartbeat for any dollar that presents itself, sucky-sucky or not. Well, dear little pointy-headed friends, I've been thinking the same thing. Perhaps the 'merch' isn't going to be the relatively squeaky clean images she claims. Perhaps, this is all build-up to her alleged porn movie coming out, and the posters won't be her famous Cowardly Lyin' pose, but more likely her rancid twat hanging open like the curtains at Ford's Theater.
You see my cute little morons and idjits, y'all aren't fans or army or family. You're potential customers. Legally, many of you can't be her potential customers because of your age, but that doesn't bother Tila. She always finds a way around that sticky wicket. Oh, she'll make a smidgen of an effort to put up a disclaimer that you have to be 18 to shop in her store, but will she have any checks and balances in place? No. So, little Tommy, you better start saving your allowance, in just a few short months you can shock your parents and sully your good name with your own life-size, high-res poster of Tila's mud flaps. Penicillin not included.
The "Lambo"
Ugh. A little Tila-ism that makes me cringe every time I read it. This one came out of left field. Within days of Tila talking about getting a car, she manages to short-term lease a Lamborghini. Of course, she tells you that she was 'approved' to pay $250,000 cash for it, but we all knew it would be a lease, and it appears several readers have confirmed it is.
Oh and her "new" Lambo, is not so new. It's a 2009, which in the world of cars makes it almost 2 years old, as new cars are typically released from September to December of the year before their model year.
So why the Lambo, and why now, and why baby blue, which is a pretty color in small doses, but on that car, just screams move-out-the-way-entitled-trash-coming-through. I think that car was leased for the benefit of us Jelis Haters!! Yeah. She wanted to shut us up and in typical impulsive Tila fashion, she got the idea and ran with it.
But, but Fatty, Tila said us Tila Army can visit her and drive it and everything...and as soon as I get my license I'm going to run-away to Stupido City and hunt down the most run-down tenement apartments and find that blue Lambo sitting out front with its tires slashed and FUCK YOU TILA in orange spray paint and then Tila will come out and smile for me and hug me and tell me she's my mommy and she'll let me drive that pretty little car. I just know its true! Um. No. Tila ain't letting your jelly-stained fingers anywhere near that car. Her insurance premiums are high enough with her as the sole driver. Plus, unless you've got cash money in hand, she's giving nothing away. Remember the infamous Garbage Sale where you were all invited to paw through her crusty panties and promised free $10 autographed photos?
The thing that really irks me about that car, is the gas mileage. It's 12/13 mpg in the city, up to 18 on the highway. With her highway speeding, it's considerably less. Why waste all that fucking gas? It's not a fucking touring car, therefore a 400 mile round-trip drive is just plain stupid and wasteful.
I hope that Lambo dealership has plenty of flea spray and penicillin wipes to clean that thing when she returns it.
Arm Meet
Arm Meet is a topic close to my blackened, wizened little heart. You see, Arm Meet is Tila, and Tila is Arm Meet. Arm Meet started with Jane attacking Tila "all over her body" with a sharp object. Of course, we never see any injuries, except to her left arm. Tila quaked in fear in her toilet as she related the harrowing account. She videotaped the carnage...the messy room, the Cheerios box discarded in the corner like a petulant child, the broken lamp, the bloodied scratches on her left arm. Oh it was horrible. You Army members have to remember that day, so many of you were worried sick as you tweeted each other, seeking comfort in this horrible time.
Then Tila rose from the ashes of her tattered condomansionium like a methed-out phoenix , and proclaimed you all idiots for not appreciating her performance piece. As I recall, she likened it to a Lady Gaga performance, complete with pictures of Gaga in full bloody regalia. Oh, and she threatened to sue all who called the authorities on her behalf. We'd all be in Jelis Hater Jail braiding each others hair in exchange for Cup O' Soup, she said. Oh, and then she was allegedly carted away on a 5150.
But a few weeks went by, and Tila was having a pity-party and you were all invited, but no one showed up, so she changed the story around so that now she could admit she was suicidal and really, it was the jelis haters and the media who drove her in that direction. So all you Army members tut-tutted, and fussed with her hair, and patted her back and glared in the direction of us Jelis Haters, vowing to Tila you had her back and would wipe the smirks from our chubby little faces.
Then the story changes again...sigh... You see, it wasn't Jane attacking Tila. It wasn't Tila attempting suicide. No, it was a former Tila staff member who evilly attacked her with a piece of broken hooker lamp. Of course, he only scratched up her left arm (hmmmm, isn't Tila right handed, so it would make sense that she would be able to scratch her left arm easily, but not her right?...oh wait, I ask this logical question of the wrong crowd. Carry on.) This man is so evil, that not only did he attack her left arm with superficial scratches, he terrorized the rest of Tila's 30-person (personality) staff to the point they were in fear for their lives and their arm meet. And all this time she's been talking the Tila-staff up, as family and the best ever people to work with, and all that happy horseshit. She must have a really fucked up family if attacking innocent arm meet is the norm.
UK Neighborhood Tour
Tila is now claiming this 4-day, 3-venue event was a big tour, not only that it was a "long" tour. In her recent tweets she claims that after coming off this long European tour, she needs a vaccination, I mean vacation (well, actually, probably both). Long tour? A long tour is several months traveling from city to city, even country to country. It is not walking across the street to the next dive bar.
Of course, this vacation was supposed to be a girls weekend because Tila's poor Swedish friend was overcome with grief over her boyfriend's infidelity...funny all we've seen is Bradshaw. Is it possible he's a Swedish girl in drag and an enormous forehead?Rob Johnson
Back in April Tila claimed to have signed this former New Zealand Idol contestant. She promised him over-nite fame, fortune, and all that STD's he could possibly want. His big launch was supposed to be this summer. Well it's the end of the first week of August, and other than a brief mention last week by Tila, we haven't seen hide nor hair of this poor sap.
Tila claims she's wanted to get all her own tours out of the way so she could better concentrate on Rob's career. Wow. Putting your needs before the needs of your client. Who does that? Imagine all you Army members who sent in clips of your music, if you were signed, you'd be waiting in line forever because Tila can only manage one person at a time at her 30-person staffed record label.
And what tours did Tila have? In April she polluted New York with her presence for a week, and last month she set England back to bubonic plague times for 4 days. You can't make all a young man's dreams come true because you take 11 days for yourself in 4 months?
Tila assures us that she'll be blowing up poor Rob by the end of the month. Hope his career can wait.
Oh, and even though he's signed to her label, she now claims, she's only the investor. She's paying for all his PR, and he's raking in all the profits. She not charging him a penny. Riiiiiiiiiight. Let's see how that one plays out.
The Men In Tila's Life
Shawn Merriman
The bodyguards from the security agency
RazB
The Game
Casa
Garry Sun
What do all these guys have in common? Well, lets see. Merriman was accused of attacking and choking Tila last year, but we only saw bruises on her arms, where one would expect to see similar bruises on her neck if she was indeed chocked by a man who weighs twice as much as she does. Her subsequent lawsuit was dismissed because the judge didn't believe her. Probably the only woman in recent history whose story of abuse wasn't believed by a judge in CALI-FUCKING-FORNIA, you know the state that would love nothing better than to throw away the key on a woman-beater!
The bodyguards were accused of sexually inappropriate behavior, though they claim Tila was shaking and shimmying her ass all over the house.
RazB was the first to be signed to Tila's non-existent record label, but she accused him of releasing a song, or some such nonsense without her permission.
The Game was one of a long-line of baby-daddys of Tila's much heralded heavy menstrual period, I mean pregnancy, I mean mis-chairage. She accused him of being a dead-beat dad, and had quite the field day with the story for a while until Game claimed he had never even met the bitch.
Casa was the poor fool who was somehow attracted to Tila's skankilicious body in the local Ralphs at midnight in the produce aisle. He lasted less than a week as Tila's boytoy/fiance, until he was accused of raping her and slapped in the airport on the way to New York.
Garry Sun is the poor schmoe currently responsible for Arm Meet-gate. He has also been accused of sexually harassing Tila and being violent to her staff. He's in a world of hurt right now because he thought he and Tila were besties. He thought wrong and now his reputation is paying the price.
Bradshaw, now is the time to run dude! I know its hard running into the wind with that massive forehead acting as a windbreak, but you can do it man!
So, Tila Army, with these several examples, I think I've painted a pretty vivid picture. Now can you tell me why Tila is deserving of your respect and admiration?
Wednesday, July 21
Lies, lies, LIES!
Tila is stupid. She's several-extra-chromosomes stupid. How do I know? If I knew there were several web sites devoted, I mean, DEVOTED to dissecting my blogs, tweets, Facebook posts, interviews, and appearances, and then making a fool out of me (and a liar, to boot), I'd be very careful about providing them with more ammo. It doesn't matter how many guns your enemies are toting, they're completely useless without the ammo. If you supply the ammo, you're the fool.
Then a kind commenter here at the Rotspot (thanks Boots!) posted a url for this interesting interview Tila had with Digital Spy this week.
Let's break this bad boy down, shall we?



she doesn't do things in half measures! With new single 'I Love My DJ', new EP Welcome To The Dark Side and her very own record label to run - not to mention a management firm and her own gossip blog - we somehow managed to grab a few minutes in her hectic schedule for a chat.Her very own record label to run? Well this label has been around since January, how many people has she signed in the last 8 months? Let me give you a sec to count to ZERO! RazB? Nope. TexazTwinz? Nope. Rob Johnson? Nope. As a matter of fact Tila changed the name and created a symbol she promised to reveal to the world months ago. We still haven't seen or heard anything since.
Management firm? Would that be LittleMissTrendSetter? Oh goody, please tell me who she's managing? Ford model? Nope. Shawn Merriman? Nope. He sued her ass for copyright infringement back in December 2009, and won a reported $2 million default judgement. The only 'client' she has, is herself.
Gossip blog? I didn't realize she had a gossip blog. Ohhhhhh. The Flog!! My mistake. I thought that was a self-grandizing, marketing ploy that ripped off stories and pictures from legitimate sources and passed them off as her own.
Tila Tequila is so long ago - it was a screen name, it was on MySpace, it was from Shot At Love.Is this a multiple choice question? Let me fill in the rest of the choices:
A. it was a screen name
B. it was on MySpace
C. it was from Shot At Love
D. it was given to me at age 13 after I got sick after drinking tequila
E. it was an ironic nickname because I can not, and do not drink alcohol
I'm aspiring to be a mogul.BWAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, wait, I mean, oh Tila dear, you want to be a mogul? Well honey you're talented enough and you're smart enough to be the biggest mogul the world has every known. You go get them girl!! BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. Sorry folks, that just made me all 5 ways silly. A mogul isn't something you aspire to, like being a washed up, std-riddled lying skank. No. A mogul is accomplished after many years of hard work, contemplative business decisions and a keen sense of business and finance. A mogul is never a self-titled position, its a status other see you as. Mogul. Heh. Sorry.
I don't like to copy trends and what's hot right nowWell you slipped in a true statement there Tila. You damn well do not copy trends or copy what's hot right now! Why should you follow trends about decorum and self-worth, when you can be a trendsetter, instead of a trend follower? What A-list (or Z-list) celeb does that whole rolling-on-the-ground-like-an-convulsing gutterslut pose? No one! What A-Z List celeb stuffs their wonky nips into an ingenius top made of belts? No one! What A-Z List celeb knowingly walks out of their hotel room without their panties and then proceeds to flash her rancid vag lips to the audience? No one! You started these trends Tila. Never let anyone take that away from you!
Blue Dress' and it means a lot to me. I sing it with so much passion because somebody really inspired me to just get out there and do it, and every time I sing it I remember that person and I don't see anybody else.
Casey cries in Heaven every time she hears you caterwauling this song you dedicated to her. Jesus is right beside her, crying the same big ass tears and shaking his fist at that heroic Viet Cong who allowed your family to live to see your birth 6 years later.
I'm in negotiations to sign an artist from New Zealand at the moment. I was supposed to fly him out here to be with me but there's so much stuff going on I thought I should deal with it when I'm back home. We've been working with him for the past few months
Was this interview done back in April, before April 23 when she posted up this blog that confirms Rob is signed (after only a couple of hours of negotiations it seems...sigh things were so much easier back in the olden days!)
Oh, I get it. He was signed, but then they went back to the negotiations, and now he'll be signed again. I hope he has time to get that summer album launched, cause my calender says July 21...and that's one month in to the three months summer. Silly me. I bet she meant New Zealands summer, which is December to February. I don't want to be one of those people who tries to do this and that and is then a mess, so I told them to let me take care of this first, take care of him and I'll do it one at a time. It's a small business building up. Once it gets bigger I can bring more people on. I want to do it the point where it's realistic what I can handle.Confucius says: If a record label isn't prepared to sign their first contract, and they don't have the time to drop an album and launch a tour...well can they be said to be prepared to be a record label?
Once it gets bigger I can bring more people on.How many more people do you need beyond the 20-30 you claim currently work for you? Maybe you can pull Bradshaw off fashion and have him do something worthwhile for a change. Aww don't get sand all up in your vagina, 9Head. You know I love any gay man with a plato-esque forehead and paint rollered on eye brows who can bedazzle the hell out of hooker!
I think it's great because it makes their dreams come true but the only con is that it happens overnight and the contracts aren't greatBut, but.... I thought that's what your record label was all about...making people overnight stars and promising all their dreams will come true! It's all right there in that Rob Johnson blog above...
And no Tila. The "only con" is you.
I may be reading too much into all this. Tila, no offense, but I think you kinda told the smallest smidgen of a lie in that interview.
Monday, June 14
LIAR LIAR, WHORE ON FIRE!!!
I really needed a break from Tila's cult-mongering and exploitation, so I thought I'd read some of her tweets from today to see if I could find some undiscovered gems. Of course, I hit a tiny motherload!!! Now, this isn't something big like the whole SUICIDE HOAX, but I thought it was a small token.
It appears a young person hitched their dreams on Tila's star and submitted their music to her record label in January. Awwwwww sweet. See how Angel Tila pats the little tot on the head and assures them that she'll get right on it. Of course, with 15,000 submissions one would expect it to take a bit of time to go through all of them. Fair enough.Oh Poo! what do we have here? This is dated February 14, 2010. It appears there was actually 16,000 submissions and she went through all of them and only found the Texas Twinz as talented enough to sign to her label.

Well, that begs the question, what ever happened to the Texaz Twinz? A visit to their Twitter didn't give any info, but a visit to their myspace, did: texaztwinz. Lovely site, but I don't see any mention of Tila's secretly named record label or the badass symbol. They say they're unsigned and their management company is The Monster Squad. Oh wait, silly me, they've probably been on the road so much touring that they haven't had time to update their info...yep, I was right, they last were seen on myspace on June 13, 2010. Of course not updating their label status is not a priority for anyone trying to get a foothold on credibility in the music industry.
Now that summer is upon us, I expect to see great things for Rob Johnson...you remember the American Idol winner 2nd place runner up New Zealand Idol 7th place runner up. Tila promised this summer he was going to BLOW UP on her label, and she'd be doing heavy press tours and having him run all over the world performing for all of us. Let's look at his myspace, just for shitz and gigglez: robjohnson. Again with forgetting to update the signing status? What's with all these musical acts forgetting to update that TILA BOSS MOGUL PUSSY POWER BITCH IN DA HOUSE is their label? Both have 'unsigned' as their status. Oh, mayhaps 'UNSIGNED' is the new super secret name of the label! Very clever Tila. Now when I visit all these band myspace sites and see UNSIGNED, I'll know you have your herpetic little fingers in the pie!
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