It's Sunday and it's raining money. Didn't you hear? We are in the pimpin' business now, because Tila "Don't hate my blow job Lambo" Tequila has offered Jelis Haters $500k for leaving her site forever.

...news boys and girls.  You remember when Tila was called a porn star on one of her interviews when she was in New York?  I do because I giggle snorted whenever they said that.  And PBR doesn't feel good comin' out your nose!

Bugsy also elaborated to the fact that USUALLY the guest show girls at the Crazy Horse are porn stars.

I mean, we've called her a whore all along and got called "jelluz h8r beetchez" for it so I'm just going to *point and laugh* now!

... thanks for not being a pussy and allowing me to put your identity up.  I'm so glad someone else has some fuckin' balls.  Man, I'm so sick of all of the pansies floating around on twitter with all of the "top secret" bullshit.  So kudos to you my friend, I think you're quite swell.

TRS, what in the hell are you talkin' about?  Ladies and gents, do you remember Tila's classy live performance in NYC last weekend?  If not, here's a little replay!

The other morning on FOX Miss Cunt herself stated that the haters were always be the first to buy her song to tell her how much it sucks. We all know that the whore throws her vag around ever so freebie frivolously so what's to keep her from doing that with her creating a mix-tape with some lame freebie computer program, er .. excuse me ... "music". We don't HAVE to go spendin' cash on your shitty voice over screeching when we can watch you lip sync'ing it up in soft core porno style. She always does some sort of "exclusive" launch on the same bullshit over and over again. It's nice to see she at least does the same performance that she did at her "real exclusive premier".


And the lyrics ... Girl, several other porn star wanna be rappers skanked it up years ago and they're not doin' much these days either are they? Just food for thought. You're talking about being a mogul, an ambassador, a mentor, a mother, a wife, a soldier of god, the virgin Mary yet you talk about popping your pussy and filling your middle up like an oreo?












LOL that shit is ROUGH. I'm sure Tila will just blame the haters for it, blah blah blah. The thing is, Tila, is that anybody with ears who isn't completely suckered by you can tell that the song is awful. Shouldn't your army be there backing you up in bigger numbers? Or won't their parents let them? Even TMZ called the song awful, and they're supposedly your friends, right Tila? Face it princess, that song is suck city.

• Tila Tequila Visits Transcripts via MarksFriggin. 04/13/10. 7:35am
  
  
  (It's not EXACT in it's entirety considering the grammar/spelling errors WE corrected ;) )
  
  ....Howard came back from commercial and had Tila Tequila come in. Howard said she was wearing something pretty hot. He said she's got some little bod on her. She said she did it just for Howard. She hadn't even slept yet. Howard told her to sit down. Tila said she was ready to ''release the poison'' today. Howard asked if she was ever a stripper. She said she was.
  
  Howard said Tila's outfit was see through and he could see her thong and bra through it. She said she was going to go nude under it but she thinks it would have caused accidents. She said that this one caused some commotion when she was on her way there. She said one guy got into a car accident as he was trying to holler at her. She said that he crashed into some old lady's car.
  
  Howard asked how tall Tila is. She's 4'11'' tall. Howard asked what her background is. She said she's Vietnamese and French. Howard asked if she had some black in her too. She said she might.
  
  Howard asked if she was a bad kid. She said she was kind of out of control. She said she was good in school though. Tila said that her teacher was a coach and her history teacher. She said she knew he had a crush on her. She said that she was thinking about getting a job as a stripper and told him about that. He told her she was breaking his heart.
  
  Tila said she started to waitress at a strip club when she was just 17. Howard asked if she banged all of the dudes in school. She said she didn't. Tila said she may have come on too strong. She came on really strong with people. She had her first lesbian experience when she was just 8 years old. She said they would always hide in a closet and touch each other down there. Tila said she didn't even know what it was at the time. Tila said that they kept touching and rubbing and started playing together.
  
  Tila said one day they went to her room and she asked the other girl if she felt something weird down there when she saw people kissing on TV and stuff. Tila said she and the other girl went into the bathroom and did some lesbian role playing stuff. She said she had the other girl come in and catch her naked in the bathroom and then spank her with a comb.
  
  Tila said she had her first orgasm at 5 years old. She said that she was half asleep as her older sister was getting ready for scho ol. Tila said she felt this rush down there and wondered what had happened. She said she remembers how amazing it was. She said she started thinking about the guys and girls that were outside again. She said she started touching it around that age and her mother used to catch her doing that. She said her mom would beat her ass whenever she got caught.
  
  Howard asked Tila if she's into rough sex. Tila said she's the type of girl who can fuck you but make love at the same time. She said that's why people fall for her so fast.
  
  Howard asked how she got on TV with her show ''A Shot at Love.'' Tila said they have 16 girls and 16 boys on the show. She said she's been asked if the show is real and she says that she's very real with anyone she's with. Howard asked if she's more bi-sexual than hetero. Tila was actually engaged to a woman. She said she came out after they got engaged. Howard said he's with her and he's into women more than men too.
  
  Howard asked Tila how dirty she gets in bed. Tila said she makes people fall in love with her. She said that she can fuck a person and make love at the same time. Howard said he heard that already but wanted to know what that means. Tila said she's very seductive and she talks to people in a way that makes peopl e get lost in her moves. Howard said he can see what she's doing now.
  
  Howard said he was getting a bit of a boner as Tila was talking to him in her sexy voice. Tila kept saying that she can make Howard fall for her in bed too. She kept saying she can fuck and make love at the same time.
  
  Howard asked Tila if she does ass to mouth. She said she hasn't done that. She said she will put her tongue up a woman's ass though. Tila said she's been with some of the real hard core lesbians out there and she's able to get them off without using any toys or anything.
  
  Howard said that Tila's name is pretty catchy. He asked how she came up with the name. She said when she was in 8th grade she was a bad girl. She went to juvenile hall and went to jail twice. She said she had 6 near death ex periences from drugs, car accidents, fights and more. She said she fought a guy one time. She said she got 6 months in juvenile hall and he only got 3 months. Tila said that the guy's hand got broken and she walked out and everyone was chanting her name.
  
  Howard said he would assume that being only 4'11'' would make her easy to beat. She told him not to let her size fool him. She said she would slit his throat. Tila went on to say that she couldn't handle drinking tequila so that's how she got her name.
  
  Howard asked how jail was and if she was a prison bitch. Tila said she had someone taking care of her. She said they had a main queen in jail and they had some gang members in there too. Howard asked if she hated her parents. She said her dad punched her in the head the second time she went to jail. She said she has cut them off for a while.
  
  Tila said she has been on her own since she was 11. She said she ran away from home at 16 and she would go to a club in the afternoon and pop E with her friend. She said she was a Tomboy back then and she was staying with her homie Willie. She said that he was just a friend and she was always a Tomboy so he didn't want her that way. Howard said he wouldn't put up with her if she wasn't putting out.
  
  Howard asked how she became a reality TV s tar. Tila said that she was in Playboy as a Cybergirl. Howard wasn't sure what that meant. She said that they do that for their online thing for Playboy. Tila said she stated her own web site where people had to be members. She was topless on that but that was about it for nudity. Howard asked her if that was true that she didn't have to take off her bottoms. She said she had live chats with her members and she would shave her legs and things like that. Tila said she would talk to them live and get topless on that. Howard said the guys must have been jerking off to that.
  
  Howard asked Tila if that paid enough to support her. She said that she went to college on that money and she was able to support herself.
  
  Tila said she was on Friendster and her profile kept getting deleted. She said that she would create new ones and they would get de leted too. Then she got on Myspace after they asked her to come there. She said she went on there and blasted out her friends telling them about the move to Myspace. She said she kind of helped them blow up. Tila said she became the Myspace girl and started getting magazine covers and stuff. Then MTV picked up on that and gave her a TV show.
  
  Howard asked why Tila is fighting with Perez Hilton. She said that she's starting her own gossip site and she can make Perez cry like a bitch. Tila said that he can dish it out but he can't take it. Tila said that Perez was talking shit about her and calling her a whore and stuff. She said that she dished out some stuff to him and he got all upset. Howard said it all sounds kind of childish to him.
  
  Tila said that Perez isn't even blogging anymore. She said that it's his sister that's doing that stuff. She said his site is getting stale now anyway. Howard gave Tila some plugs for her new site TilaTequilaOMG.com.
  
  Howard asked Tila about dating this football player. She said she can't talk about him. She said that they settled in a lawsuit so she can't talk about it. She said that she can't say what it was about but it was about a domestic abuse case. Howard said she must have gotten some dough if she won't talk about it. She said she wasn't in a relationship with that guy. It was a one time thing but she can't talk about that.
  
  Howard asked Tila if she was pregnant because someone posted that she was on her Twitter. She said she lost the baby. She said she didn't want to get into that either. She said that people are disrespectful so she'd prefer not to talk about it.
  
  Howard asked Tila why she needs a kid. Tila said she was devastated and she got artificially inseminated. Howard said this was after the death of her fiance. Tila said she made a promise to her when she was alive that she would be the pregnant one. Tila said she was going to get married and she was going to have the baby. Howard said the devastation after the death of her fiance, Casey Johnson, led her to get pregnant. Tila said the world was blaming her for the death and she doesn't get that. Howard said maybe they thought she was an enabler. Tila said that her Casey's friends were never around for her.
  
  Tila said that she'd ask Casey what her medications were and they would get into fights over it. She said that Casey was a train wrec k when they first met. She said that she was able to get really sensual with her and she thought she was healing her with her love. Tila said she was her foundation for love and she started to straighten out. Then she stopped taking the pills. She said one night they stayed up fighting all night about her. Tila said when she's working she has to have some ''I miss you time'' and she has to leave her alone. Tila said that Casey would drink bottles of Nyquil to try and calm down. Tila told her that she would never leave her but that was her paranoia. Tila said she told Casey that she wasn't going to leave her and she had to stop thinking she was using her.
  
  Howard said it sounds like she was a good influence on her. Tila said they thought that she was the bad influence and they came into her house and took all of Casey's stuff. Tila said they were all calling her the night before they came to take the stuff and pretended they were upset. She said that they were telling her they wanted to come in and find out what Casey was like near the end. Tila said th ey came and there was poop and piss all over the place. She said she could hear them talking on their phones saying they wanted to leave the dogs there. Tila told them that was fine and they took her shoes instead of the dogs or anything else. They were more interested in that stuff than how she was doing or how the dogs were doing.
  
  Howard asked Tila if she was hurt that she wasn't allowed at the funeral. She said she was heart broken over that. She said hat Casey told her about her family life and what that was like and they weren't that close. Tila said they must have had a lot of guilt with her. Tila said they cut her off from money and they must have felt that pain and guilt. Tila said they took it all out on her.
  
  Howard said that a parent has to have tough love at times. Tila said that wasn't the reason why. She said that Casey told her why th ey did it and it wasn't about drugs or anything. Howard asked what it was about. Tila told a convoluted story about an adoption and how this whole thing went down with Casey and her parents. It wasn't easy to follow.
  
  Howard said he thought that the family wasn't happy with her drug use and stuff. Tila said that's not what it was about. She said that when you have a kid in your life you have to be able to support and raise them. If you take away that money and love then the person is going to start to rebel. She said all Casey wanted was love.
  
  Howard said Tila only knew Casey for a month before getting engaged. Tila said they had very intimate stories they would share together. They got close very fast.
  
  Howard asked why Tila let her family and friends take everything from her home. She said she was confused and devastated and they lied to her. She said they were saying they were going to come over and help her out and they showed up like 6 hours early. Tila said they were violent and they were demanding this stuff from her so it was all shocking and confusing to her. She said that she even helped them bring the stuff out to their vehicles. She said that even the Paparazzi were aski ng her why she was doing that.
  
  Howard asked who showed up to take the stuff. She said it was Nikki Hilton and Bijou Phillips. Howard asked where her stuff is now. Tila said they took the dog and she thinks that they had it put to sleep and buried with Casey. Howard said he thought that they were animal activists and they wouldn't do something like that. Tila said she's not sure that happened but she assumes it did.
  
  Tila told Howard that she was depressed for a long time and she wasn't able to sleep. Then she had some dreams about Casey and she came to her in the dreams (while she was sleeping, right?) and she was very sad. Tila said in the third dream Casey came into her dream and held the baby. She said Casey told her she loves her and told her to take care of the baby. Tila said she talked to Casey about this in the dream and Casey told her that she'd always be over her watching. She said she held the baby in the dream and that's why she went out and got pregnant.
  
  Tila told Howard that she was pregnant for just a short time before she lost the baby. Tila said that she figured God did that for a reason and she had the dreams for a reason. Tila said in the fourth dr eam she saw that Casey had passed on and she was told to ''make a wish'' as a shooting star shot by.
  
  Howard asked Tila if she's with a girl or a guy now. Tila said that guys are so retarded. Tila said she met a guy a couple of weeks ago and this guy gave her the sausage. She said he came along and it turns out to be this K-Fed kind of guy who wanted to marry her. She said that it was a little soon for that. Tila said that she found out that he was cheating on her with like 4 other women. She said that she got all freaked out on a flight and she went off on this guy.
  
  Howard said that Gary has an article about Casey's dogs and they say that they're alive and well. Tila said she wants to see video of them. Gary came in and said that they say that Zoe and Elvis are alive and doing well. Tila said that was old news and she doesn't beli eve that they're alive. She said she wants to see video of the dogs now. Tila said they told her that the dogs are no longer around. Gary said that trouble really follows her around. Tila said that she's a good person though. Gary said that she claims she is but this trouble follows her around.
  
  Tila said that she is nice but she has a short temper and she will stand firm behind her beliefs. She said maybe that's why it seems that trouble follows her around. Tila said she has a big heart.
  
  Tila said this guy she was seeing had a really small penis. She said that she thought it was his finger when he was fucking her. She said as a person she wanted to help him because he didn't have a place to stay. She let him stay at her place. Howard said his penis is so small he aspires to have a finger down there.
  
  Howard said Tila put out a song years ago called ''I Like to Fuck.'' Tila said she was part of that. She also has a new single coming out toda y. Howard played some of the ''I Like to Fuck'' song. Howard asked how she gets air play with that. Tila said that song was just for fun. She has a new song called ''I Love My DJ.'' She said it was originally called ''I Fuck My DJ.'' That was actually the version Howard played. Howard said that her album will be out on May 11th.
  
  Howard gave Tila some plugs for her web site TilasHotspot.com and some other things. Tila is working on a new show but she can't talk about the details yet.
  
  Jeff the Drunk called in and said that Tila is a crazy cunt. Tila told him he sounded like he had a lot of semen in his throat. Another caller said that this is one of the best interviews he's ever done because she answers every question so clearly and said that they should end it now so they can save the rest for later. He was being sarcastic but Tila thought that it was a compliment.
  
  Howard took another call from an angry guy who was going off on Tila about how awful she is and how much he hates her. Tila thought that he was someone who had dated Casey at s ome point.
  
  Another caller told Howard to get this crazy bitch on the Sybian. Howard asked if she knew what that was. She said she had heard about it. Tila said that these angry guys are all guys with small dicks. She said they're intimidated by her. Robin said they wouldn't be attacking her if they were there.
  
  Howard gave Tila some more plugs, wrapped up with her a short time later and went to break.
  
  
  
  
  
• Negative Tila Feedback And A High Pitch Eric Game by MarksFriggin. 04/13/10. 8:55am
  
  After the break we heard a prank call Richard made to a guy as Nervous Mark asking about some self help videos he had for sale. Fred also played Oasis ''Don't Look Back In Anger'' as they were coming back.
  
  Howard came back and said that so many guys are calling in and saying they're glad he ended the interview with Tila. Howard said he thought it was interesting. He said he wasn't sure what was real or not but it was interesting to him. He said he didn't know much about her before. He never saw her TV show or anything. He said her outfit was hot and very sexy.
  
  Howard asked Benjy if he got her number. Benjy said she blinked her number to him and he blinked it back. Howard said he was sorry he asked. He said he just had to make a joke about it. Benjy said he did go out and talk to her. He said that the same people that hate her hate him. He said he's not so sure why people hate her.
  
  Howard took a call from a guy who said t hat he'd rather watch grass grow. Another caller said that he had four dreams during that interview and in all of them he blew his brains out. He told Howard it was a horrible interview.
  
  Anther caller said Howard did a great job but that chick was putting him to sleep. Howard said that's what most people are saying. He said he's getting a very negative reaction to her.
  
  Howard said he's sorry they let the fans down. He took another call from a guy who said he loves Howard but this was an awful interview. He asked them not to put it on Best of the Week.
  
  Howard offered the caller a game to play. Howard had the High Pitch Eric game to play and it wasn't that easy to win. Robin said that they've h ad some fans stumped by the game. Howard said he had to guess if High Pitch would get the answer correct.
  
  Howard tried to start the game but it was set up wrong. Howard talked about the interview and how he thought it was fine but he'll take the listener's word for it.
  
  
  

... like a fox this afternoon on FOX.  The self-indulged mongrel mogul couldn't have been any more all over the place.  She talks about the airplane stunt yesterday, her fake miscarriage, her blog that doesn't even exist yet, to a pair of shoes that she said she got for $8 and then changed to $14.  That millionairess sure shows us doesn't she?  I mean, only rich and famous whores can afford that type of shit!  Speaking of style, how do you look like such a wet meth'd up rat all of the time?  I know I'm sure as hell jumpin' up and down to learn the secrets of drugs, greasy hair, skeletor face, and payless shoes!!!

... YOU  Tila! Hahahahaha. Yes, let me catch my breath from laughing at this bizarre adventure of the Casa and Tila extravaganza!!!

Ok, so ... three days ago I recall the lovebirds rekindling their previously mutually revoked week long "marriage".


"Ok Thank GOD for wifi internet on Plane. I have officially file a restraining order against you, and you will be arrested the minute you step off of my airplane. SO get ready, You're going to need bail money when ur in jail in NYC today. Restraining order filed."

Hahahahaha!  Ooooh goodness.  My sides hurt from laughing at just how fuckin' stupid this cunt is.  Seriously, does she NOT know that a restraining order is NOT that easy to get?  I mean, you certainly don't just go to a website and POW have police officers waiting to escort a dude off the plane who obviously had a valid ticket to get onto the fucker in the first place.  It's a great read gang, check it:


So WHAT happened on the plane TRS? Well, I'd have hoped the whore got escorted off for being a psycho and making a scene but it looks like after her mania attack she just passed the fuck out.

When something doesn't go the way Tila expects it to in the month of April she desperately tries to use the excuse of "April Fools".  First her romance with Casa went to shit so she tried to be clever (real clever there dumbass) and say it was just one big April Fools Hoax, like everything else in her life. 

Do you remember when Tila was questioned by all those "nasty haters" about why she would launch her blog on April 1st?  I specifically remember her getting a bit cocky, implicating that we would all look stupid once she actually DID launch it when we were all "hating" on her and her lies.  Let me see if I can ... hang on ... digging ...


Then later that evening Tila gets on saynow to break the heart-wrenching news that *gasp* she won't be launching her blog on April 1st after all.  She never mentions that it's an April Fools joke mind you, she just mentioned that due to the extremely high bookings of celebrity interviews they had to push the date back by TWO days (which would have been April 3rd for those idiots that can't count).  Notice that she mentions the "green screen" twice, at least.  You can tell she's never even made it small time or else she wouldn't be so fuckin' ecstatic over a $50 piece of material that people call "green screen".  There is nothing elite or special about a green screen mind you. I have at least 15 friends that have one.  It's nothing special, it's actually a necessity in todays photography and videography industry.




SURPRISE PEOPLE!  The joke is on you AGAIN!  Wow!!!  First the Casa joke (which is a joke on a WHOLE different level within itself) and NOW she's coming out with her version of what REALLY happened.  It was all a PLANNED April Fools arrangement.  Wow!  *face palm*  And NOW she's saying "one more week" - which will put us at 4/17/10.

After posting her video she was SO proud of it that she had to go on twitter bragging about her mad l33t robot skillz and to pow boom bish rah rah rah piggy perez blah blah blah as usual:

All suited up in her trashy Batman Costume classy lingerie while slobbin' on some sausage, Stuporgirl lubes up her brain and takes a stroll through memory lane giving advice to 12 year old wanna be strippers.  Ah, the sweet life of lube, sausage links, underage children, anal sex, and being used as a whore for a few days.  Really Stuporgirl, how did you get SO lucky?  I just want to know ... what's it like taking it ass to mouth?