Friday, April 9

postheadericon Tila - The Master of the April Fool

So the other day was April 1st. You probably got some weak ass shit pulled on you, like somebody told you Chuck Norris died or something (real talk - I did that to my boyfriend). Man, your friends are LAME. Thankfully Tila has that shit on lock down. She is here to educate us all on how to pull the fucking stupidest moguliest, powiest, methiest April Fool's prank ever!

Step one, you gotta start that shit early. I mean, like, ridiculously early.

Here's the very first instance of Tila tweeting about her new boo. Are they male or female? Well, she gives that away pretty quick. Also, please ignore how at the bottom you can see Tila "sharting in her thong." I will not be responsible for you losing your lunch. I ain't payin' you for that shit, you read it yourself. I warned you.

Okay so here we see Tila laying the groundwork for the prank. See how it takes place on 3.31? That's a full DAY before April Fool's! I know, that's retarded genius, right?

Okay, so once you've laid the groundwork, you've gotta work carefully. You gotta make sure to really rub it in people's faces. If anybody is unaware it WILL NOT work. I mean, be completely inappropriate about it. Make people want to puke and bleach their eyeballs.

You know what, readers? I love you. You've suffered through it enough. If you want to suffer through it again, here's the link. Again, I warned you. Don't come crying to Uncle Eddie when you can't ever have sessy times with your lover again.

So about this time, people will be congratulating the hell out of you. Don't laugh, don't even smirk, because they will be onto your MASSIVE LIE prank!

Eventually people might be onto you. Especially if you're a lying whore who has done this a billion times before. Yes, Uncle Eddie just made a rhyme for you. So what you should do is show you don't have a brain in your fucking head. I mean, say something that's just so freaking stupid, people will be astounded by the fact that you're THAT stupid and they'll forget about your MASSIVE LIE prank. For example:

Talking about having a honeymoon when you've only been engaged a few hours is perfect. People will be wondering if you can honestly be that stupid to not realize the honeymoon comes AFTER the wedding, and they'll forget that you're totally lying pranking them.

I know, we were BLINDSIDED too by her "April Fools" lie prank.  We NEVER expected that she was going to pull THAT, right?  So POW!  She sure showed all of us haters!

Just homies you say?  On a side note, when did it become cool to "rape" your homies?  Well boy Tila do I have a surprise full of awesomesauce for you!  You see, we actually have people who go above and beyond to give us the scoop.  What do you mean girls of the Rotspot?  Well, it appears that Casa never thought it was a joke.  In fact, he didn't realize that you guys were just "homies".  Ooops.  Looks like the joke's on Casa, being as that it was all one big April Fools lie prank and all.  According to Facebook, they were married!

I mean, the dude doesn't even have anyone in real life to talk to I'm guessing.  Why else would he pour his heart out to three separate strangers on Facebook?  Stranger 1 - First he accepts her on his Facebook while Tila and him were "engaged".  So, Stranger 1 asks Casa if he is married and tells him to hit her up if he wants to mingle.  He replies by stating that as of March 27th that he was married.

Are you all as surprised as us that the fake engagement/marriage/anal rampage didn't last?  A few days afterwards Casa decides to spill his guts to anyone that would listen.

I almost feel bad for the dude.  Based upon his writing style he obviously has no education but we'd expect no less from someone that sticks their magic stick inside of a trick that can make it disappear!  Ouch!

So Tila ... really?  Your relationshit (no it's not a typo) fell apart and you want to blame it on an April Fools joke eh?  Why?  Because you looked so fucking stupid for meeting, fucking, getting engaged/married, then breaking up all in the span of less than a week?  If it was an April Fools joke bitch then why would you have posted this in the wee hours of the morning yesterday?

And just for reference let me point out the timelines of the midget troll on Facebook.

Wow ... you SURE got us didn't you ho?  Bitch please!


The Gnome said...

Fucking unbelievable....I seriously wonder how the leprechauns mind's like Narnia up in that bitch. I can't for the life of me understand how she's managed to live this long....natural selection nothin? Goddamn....this is why animals in the wild eat their young....

Anna said...

Wow, I know the dude was an idiot but I really do feels for him. Tila is such a skank bitch and her time is coming really soon!

boytoy said...

I got the new issue of comsmoplation magazine with heidi klum on the cover and Chelesa Handler(author, comic, cosmo columnist) sounded/wrote off about tila.

Tila Tequila:
"I don't like to partake in Tila Tequila. I'm more of the Belevdere vodka girl My assistant Chuy, makes a great Belevdere maragrita and that way, we can avoid anything having to do with tequila, Tila or otherwise.
Whenever i spend a night persung Tila Tequila's Twitter page. I wake up with a hangover. There's no Alka-Selter tablet that clears up a bad case of morning-after regret for reading Tila's tweets or watching the live stream on her Bebsite of her falling off a chair while trying to "twitter" herself.

goldenhum said...

lofl. POW POW!!

Seagal said...

I just don't see what this guy or what's left of her army see in her. I find her disgusting.
There's nothing good or honest about her. Does she really think anyone buys her"April Fools" prank/joke or whatever you want to call it? She really is a waste of oxygen.

Cathy said...

She just tweeted about getting busted shoplifting at CVS....can't wait to see how this one plays out.
As far as Casa he sounds like a pathetic guy anyway. I mean if you are so in love with her why are you talking to other women online? They deserve eachother

Tila has BPD said...

Anna Elise said...

The shoplifting video..I'm pretty certain the attention whore staged that one...what an idiot.

Joann said...

Tila wants attention so bad she makes pathetic fake videos of herself in supermarkets and drugstores doing idiotic low budget bullshit and Casa is just a pathetic for even thinking about dealing with her. SMH

Seagal said...

Oh yea..It was defiantely staged. You could hear the camera guy say "here comes security". Then Tila looks at him and walks over grabs some gum and then loudly stuffs chips in her bag. At least that's the way I remember it. It really was pretty forgetable. What a pathetic loser. Anyhthing to get attention. Her blog hasn't been this busy in a long time. But it's still about 30-1 in the comment section. People are really getting fed up with her bullshit. More and more are leaving the darkside everyday.

goldenhum said...

have you seen the lovely new photo he added to his facebook of himself screwing her from behind? lordy lordy. right in the ass. blech.

i_am_that_girl said...

Goldenhum - can you really post pics like that on Facebook without it getting deleted?

goldenhum said...

i didn't think you could, but i swear. i screen capped it. those of you who have friended him, please check, because i can't. i'm not that sad man's friend. i'm also scared to see a full size version. if he deletes it, lemme know and i will send the pic.

Jacqui said...

What is Tila's personal FB URL guys??? I tried searching but I couldn't find it, if someone could give me a direct link to it? cheers

goldenhum said...

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