Thursday, July 15
What's the little Twatwaffle up to these days?
4:10 PM | 
Posted by
Fatty McFatterson
Technically, I'm suppose to be hanging with the family of which I have. Truthfully, they're getting on my last nerve, heh! Family is wonderful, but damn, I need some quiet time every once in a while!!
So, I went lurking around Tila's flog and a reader comment inspired me to write up this little piece (thanks lolercopter!)
Most of it is blah blah blah. Some crap about photos of P Diddy and Cassie with their nakey parts, and how Tila's legit blog is too ethical to post the pix ( but not ethical enough to refrain from alluding to them!).
And Tila being Tila has ignored all the Lindsay/Mel Gibson drama going down that people are more interested in hearing. She even missed that Janice Dickinson has signed up for Celeb Rehab (sorry, I have to take a moment to laugh out loud manically at stupid Tila's failure to be accepted on a show for the biggest train wrecks!!)
Anywho, this little statement stuck out for me...
But for some other unscrupulous media outlet out thereNow, page down until you see that big red box in the lower right hand corner, you know, the place where all the blog tags are listed:
affair
Angelina Jolie
Brad Pitt
butt
Cassie
cocaine
diddy
exclusive
Naked
nekkid
P.Diddy
photo
puffy
scandal
sex
You see those red-highlighted words? Can someone point out where they are in that article? Or could it be that a certain unscrupulous "media" outlet has taken some liberties with more enticing tags as a cheap attempt at getting more hits to her flog? Now, I ain't saying Tila's a lying, cheating, nasty, skank-ass, low-down bitch pickle...oh wait, I am, but why else would you add tags to non-existent story arcs if you're not trying to trick people into reading your flog?
Oh, and one of her commenters, in reply to the person who pointed out the tag thing was that the tags were suppose to accompany a John Stamos blog. The John Stamos blog doesn't mention an affair, or Angelina Jolie either. It does reference Brad Pitt, but only as an example and not a fact, and therefore the Brad Pitt tag wouldn't be fair use either.
I remember seeing other tags of hers that I was like 'wtf?', but didn't pay them too much attention. I think I may backtrack a little and see if this is a pattern.
I gotta get back to the fam of which I have. They're starting the HoHo juggling show without me!
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19 comments:
Fatty:
It's lying little shit pickle and you know it!
Oh and did you read the one where Bradshaw posted a vid about how he was too drunk to drive and Tila's all:
"I'M A SPEED RACER! BAM! POW!
I'M CREEEEEEPIN!!!
WE'RE GOING BACK TO MUH MANSION!!
........
WHERE DO I LIVE AGAIN???"
Tila, you're Asian, we both know you go drive 12 miles an hour in the right hand lane with your left blinker on, silly.
Kinda funny there when Bradshaw nearly shit his pants when he thought he saw the police. Anyone know why Tila has a suspended license in the first place?
So Fatty, we gotta talk about this hoho juggling contest. I have the feeling that we might be distant relatives, especially if you're the one who live in Bumfuck, IA near the sex offenders. Thanks for taking time away from the fam and hope to hear from you again soon!
LOL. What is this?
Tila is totally boring me at the moment, so my favorite part of this article, my darling, darling Fatty, was your usage of "...the little Twatwaffle".
Also her tags are almost as ridiculous as just randomly picking them with your eyes shut. Whoa...maybe that is what she does...
i'm surprised she doesnt have Bieber in there , that should get her some more army members around the age she likes.
I saw that too and you're correct, the only reason why those tags are listed ESPECIALLY when they have nothing to do with the post is to generate more hits.
Did you guys happen to read the comment in the driving post when a person commented...."why does Mr Bradshaw nearlly shit himself when a ‘rent-a-cop’ drives by? Could it be that Tila doesn’t have a license,as has been proven?"
Tila answered..."No because I told Bradshaw to look out since there was a cop and bradshaw was using his bright phone to record a video, and in LA, you get a ticket for being on the phone while in the car."
I live in Cali and a PASSENGER WILL NOT get a ticket if they are talking/recording on their phone while riding in a car. Why would the passenger get a ticket?
The DRIVER is the one who will be ticketed if they are caught talking on their phone while driving without a hands free unit.
Tila was probably driving erratic and don't have a valid license which is probably why Mr. Bradshaw was scared they would be noticed by the cop and pulled over. lol.
My personally favorite was bitch pickle. Classic.
Personal* Curse! I sound like an Army member.
Tila's 'flog' is an epic phayle.
Woohoo, I get a shout out! She's been doing that with her tags the entire time. It's almost like they go off on pointless tangents to add tag words. Like the Magic/Bird tangent on the Ryan Reynolds post.
I'm still surprised that she has as many fans as she does in her land of broken promises. She's promised her army a "surprise" and now that she's leaving for the UK I doubt that's happening. She said she was posting her UK itinerary on Thursday, and she doesn't post it til Friday, in fact, 11 hours after she said "brb posting my UK schedule" yet they watch her lie and eat it up each time.
-lolercopter
Wait, Janice D fell off the wagon? Now, that's news.
I would really love it if Tila did CR4 with Janice. I can just see Janice "going INNNNN" on the Hogul. That'd be must-see car-crash reality TV.
Tila just claimed that she was writing her schedule and got a business call that lasted 3 hours. For starters doesn't this bitch claim to be a master multi-tasker? She can't talk and type at the same time? But more importantly is the fact that seriously, who places a business call to someone at 1:30am, London isn't calling LA at 8am london time because they're not that rude, I have London business as well and they never do that.
I don't get why she lies about everything and how these people keep believing her.
I just love you're writing. You and Eddie and all the other, just so amazing. I'm reading this and laughing my ass off, of what ridicoulus idiot Tila is...
Alina "K" Ring
P.S.Less than a month ago I was in Tila Army! But then I read your blog and it opened my eyes on so obvious things!
Fatty, how is her flog doing? Are the numbers still dropping? Good God I hope so. I would check, but have no idea how. Computers are really not my forte. I would venture to guess hers are dropping, and the RotSpot's are climbing! Anything that little slut can do to increase traffic...
On a side note, I do have to laugh about the "racecar driver". "POW, BAM BITCHES! I'm a trained, er professional um, yeah take that,a racecar driver". GTF outta here. Oh Tila... You make me LULZZZ like no other!
@MsWonkyTits - I don't know how to do screencaps at the moment, otherwise I'd show you that way. But go to a website that does keep track of various websites against each other.
We've (collective "we" from TRS) have usually used alexa.com. If you go there, you can plug in www.misstilaomg.com. They may show a magnified graph of how her particular site is doing, but have some fun: you can put up different sites against each other, such as TMZ, Perez Hilton. That will usually show that TMZ is usually on top, with PH slightly below. However, if you look VERY carefully at the bottom of the graph, you'll see an almost flat line, WAY below TMZ and PH. If I hadn't looked closely enough I would have just through it was a part of the graph. However, the leeeeetle blue line which makes an occasional bump or two, is actually our favorite midget meth mogul. Hope this works for you!! :)
About the tags:
I've been reading the tags the last couple of days. Tila actually tags decently well, I'm surprised (sad?) to say. It's usually one of her staff (if they actually exist) or "Mr. Bradshaw" who have the really wacky ones. This one is from today/last night (7/17/10). The story is something about Justin Beiber breaking Lady Gaga's record of most hits on a youtube video. The tags (CAPS don't belong):
Tagged with: BABY, DR. DRE, EMINEM, itunes, JIMMY IOVINE, justin bieber, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, Lady Gaga, LUDACRIS, music industry, record sales, USHER, youtube.
Timberlake and Usher are mentioned, but briefly and are still not needed in the tags. I'm assuming everyone else is connected through the Beiver (or Gaga?) through his recording deal? I know Jimmy Iovine is a record producer. Does he work with Beaver? Oh, how the great have fallen.
This post was written by TilaStaff, because, as we all know, Tila is on her super awesome UK!!1! "TOUR". And WAAAAY too busy with being a mogul and her many, many friends in London and stuff to tell her T.Army such important news about her last conquest... er, I mean Justin Bieber.
Thanks Ghost of Chunks!! It worked. Gave me some giggles, too. I love watching the bitch go down. I just cannot imagine how long that site will be up. It's SO very bad. And not just because of how much I hate her. It's just an absolutely terrible site!
I love how it says "butt", in there with everything else.