Wednesday, April 28

postheadericon The exclusive deets on why Tila moved

So as you guys know by now, our favorite Meth-Mouthed Midget Mogul moved from her old "mansion" into her new "mansion" a few months ago, and recently the address of said "mansion" was leaked on the internets. Oh, you crazy internets and the wonders you behold. And, as we all previously knew, it's the swankiest mansion in all of Hollywood!

Oh wait, it's not? It's just an apartment complex?


Oh. Damn. I believed Tila this time! Okay real talk, no I didn't. Nobody did. Because we all saw the pictures she posted and we aren't idiots. I mean really, is anybody surprised at this revelation? I'm more surprised that Tila was dumb enough to have her actual name on her bills, which is supposedly how somebody found her. And I love that Mr. Forehead himself (Bradshaw for those of you who haven't been introduced to his massive dome yet) was dumb enough to have geo tracking on his tweets. Nice job, you fabulous trendsetter, you!

Okay so what do we know about Tila's apartmansion? Well a simple google search of the address (which Uncle Eddie is not going to post here. It's not hard to find and if any of the other FINE ladies of the Rotspot want to update this post and put it up, go right ahead. After you send Uncle Eddie pictures of your boobs, that is. Yes, again. Uncle Eddie needs fresh pics!) reveals something hilarious:


 I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Uncle Eddie doesn't exactly trust this report. It's funny and all, and maybe I'm just a big fat pessimist...

Oh fuck it, let's laugh that Tila's apartmansion has bed bugs!

So why did she move? Well, it's taken us a long time to find out why. There's been tons of speculation. Was she evicted? Was it really filled with too many memories of her cash cow Casey?

NEITHER!

Here it is, exactly WHY Tila moved!


 OMG Tila, I have an open mind! Tell me more!


...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Jesus fucking Christ.

Okay let's be serious here. Which is scarier, bed bugs or aliens? That's a tough one. I mean, choosing between little bugs that nibble on you while you're sleeping and an OBVIOUSLY CRAZY DRUG PSYCHOSIS. That's a tough one. Tila, which one do you think is scarier?


No doubt.

46 comments:

Monique said...

I think she might be use to bugs.

Meth Induced Psychosis:
"Tactile hallucinations include formication, an advanced form of methamphetamine hallucination in which the user feels bugs on his/her skin. The user scratches at the "bugs" trying to remove them, gouging the skin, and leaving scars. "

Eduardo Retardo said...

Oh shit, maybe she doesn't even know which ones are real and which ones aren't. Lulz.

vicky said...

hmm I study psych and abnormal, maladaptive behaviours and I have to say, upon reading this post that yeah, she's probably having a drug induced psychosis but reading her tweets that explain why she moved out...she ain't having a meth induced psychosis and she definitely ain't bi-polar.

Those tweets are disturbing because they demonstrate the inner dialogue of someone who's a paranoid schizophrenic.
The delusions, the fucked up things she believes about herself, the voices, thinking she has a message she has to bestow to the world..the bitch is a SCHIZOID.

Throw in a bit of Histrionic Personality disorder (check out the criteria to be diagnosed with it..)

1. discomfort in situations in which he/she is not the centre of attention
2. Inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behaviour
3. Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotion
4. Consistently uses self appearance to draw attention to self
5. Has an excessively impressionistic style of speech
6. Shows self-dramatisation and exaggerated expressions of emotions
7. is overly suggestible
8. Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.

Sounds exactly like her, as if they made up the personality disorder after her.

Pops said...

Hahahaha! I LOVE you! This is, by far, the best post. Fuck Tila is delusional, and this just proves it.

Kim's World said...

Does anyone else think that's it's weird that the aliens show up the month after her public issue that are affecting other people like Shawn and casey? I'm trying to figure out if she is having psychotic(sp) breaks and is getting a conscious about what she has done to others. The girl has mental issues and needs to be helped asap. PS I don't think she saw aliens.

Anna said...

She is loonier than ever!

jayden said...

I guess the aliens don't have google or GPS if they can't find her new place.

Kate said...

I was watching something on TV about how people who refuse to deal with certain trauma deal with the energy manifesting into a so-called poltergeist, or what they think is a poltergeist, when it's really just probably their psyche forcing them to deal with the trauma and them just being so used to trying to suppress it that they are just on auto-pilot with suppressing it and don't even realize it anymore. So it comes out in other ways (hearing voices, seeing things, really crazy dreams, etc.)

Syd said...

I'm sure it's been said here before, but I REALLY wish we could hook Tila up with Firecrotch. Can you imagine the drama and lies?

Clementine said...

Well seems like she is explaining her absence from Twitter as "doctor ordered bedrest" and the doctor had to write notes to her team about it...isn't she "the boss"?
Plus how is it she is able to twitter after denting her head AND having a horribly painful mischairage where she was doubled over in pain but she wasn't able to during simple bedrest?
She's so horrible at lying it's actually funny.
Bedrest just means you are suppose to stay in bed and take it easy.

I'm guessing she ran out of drugs and nodded off for a few days.

BUT OMG GUESS WHAT!?!?!? Her blog is going to launch the first week of May on a secret day at midnight!

I can't believe people still believe anything that comes out of that whores mouth.

Amanda said...

It sounds like she is hallucinating, probably from drugs. Or maybe the aliens are real? Maybe she really was pregnant, and the aliens impregnated her. Maybe they came back and stole the baby from her womb. I've heard stories of aliens impregnating women, coming back and stealing the baby and eating it.
Also, my friend's apt. building had bedbugs because someone in her building was a filthy hoarder who's room was filled with trash and he dumpster dived all the time and brought it back to his room.

Amanda said...

Another thing, I think she has no soul and sold it to demons(Demonic aliens), so now a demon inhabits her body. It's pretty obvious, just look at her eyes!

Monique said...

@vicky

I "diagnosed" Tila with that condition last week. LOL http://tilasrotspot.blogspot.com/2010/04/pow.html?showComment=1271792652800#c8570601004296562650 I especially like mnemonic "PRAISE ME".

But I'm a veterinarian, not a psychiatrist. If she were a dog, I would recommend she was "put down".

Steven Clarke said...

Hey TRS, I got a little something for you. I lost your e-mail address so I'll just post it here. I got all the headlines for all the articles of Tilatequilaomg.com.

http://nyjetstalk.com/Tila1.jpg
http://nyjetstalk.com/Tila2.jpg
http://nyjetstalk.com/Tila3.jpg
http://nyjetstalk.com/Tila4.jpg

I haven't been able to view the actual posts, because she has a redirect back to her homepage- I'm working on that right now.

As you can see, all she has is a bunch of nonsense posts, and she hasn't updated it since the middle of March (hence the reason for the delay in her blog launch).

Steven Clarke said...

Update on the above post:

I got all of her posts- everything. I am working on screen caps now. I'll be back in an hour or so and will be posting links.

Steven Clarke said...

http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/4483/tila5.jpg

http://img693.imageshack.us/img693/4301/tila6.jpg

http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/7127/tila7.jpg

http://img576.imageshack.us/img576/9884/tila8.jpg

http://img91.imageshack.us/img91/934/tila9.jpg

http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/2817/tila10.jpg

http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/5701/tila11.jpg

View them in order (from top to bottom)

Clementine said...

What a surprise the posts are all via some other site and from the looks of it copied and pasted directly, because we all know Tila can barely write a word right never mind a whole paragraph.
You can actually tell when she takes a stab at writing(the lohan post)because it reeks of desperation and attention whoring and trying to copy Perez's bitchy snark. Except it comes across as extreme jealousy. Yes, the Lohans are fucked up but they are still written about and followed by real paparazzi pretty much daily.

So if she has content why isn't she launching? Is it because she knows how big of a fail it's going to be? Also where are all her exclusive interviews?
One more thing..does she know what LMFAO means..she's lmfao over a university mens choir that she says sounds better than Glee? huh?

Steven Clarke said...

If you all want to view the posts without clicking on the screen caps, just go to www.tilatequilaomg.com/feed/rss

GoogleTourist said...

Wow Steven, thanks! Damn her site sucks. But I'm not surprised about that. But it's even more of a colossal failure than I imagined!

Kat said...

Holy shit at her blog! It actually has a lot more content that I originally thought, haha. What I don't understand is why that bitch thinks she's going to be able to launch this shit with old news that everyone else has already covered (if she ever launches it, that is). What is this? Like the tenth time it's been pushed back?

gee said...

Holy crap that blog is BAD. I mean, I expected it to be shitty but that was almost embarrassing. And yeah, how is she gonna launch with all this old news? And its so ugly and plain looking. No one in their right mind would advertise on that site, she's fucked. This shit will not launch.

B_McBitcherson said...

That blog is the OMG of all shitpiles.

Ben said...

I love that the first post is about Sandra Bullock and her adopted child and she says "she decided to copy me and adopt an African baby"

For starters, adopting a child takes a long process as Tila herself has pointed out, so if Sandy was copying her, wouldn't Tila already have her baby?

We can also tell which posts are written by Tila herself and not a 'staff member'. Can you spot the giveaway!! It's real easy!! LOL!!! And what the hell is a "tryna"?

jenn said...

LMAO at the aliens story. Perfect at the "tila, which do you think is scarier?" ALIENS!!!! part. i haven't laughed that hard in a while.

Thanks for the pic of the complex she lives in. I was curious.

Clementine said...

Just over on the whores facebook page and she has a new Say What message for her fans...I listened to about three seconds of it. At first she's all "HI!!! It's me!" then obviously remember she is suppose to be really, really sick so she starts coughing up a lung and then talks in the same fake sick voice I have used when calling in "sick"

Jenn said...

Thanks Steven Clarke for the post! This is hilarious.

She's spent how many months to complete 10 posts? I love how she used the headline that...oh I don't know...every other website used..."Sandra Bullock Blind Sided." I guess that's what happens when you collaborate with Carlton Jordan. His blog is crap and does nothing but either 1) find racism in everything or 2) says that certain celebs are really gay. Her site is going to fail just like everything else she's ever done.

Kristin said...

Lmao at this post. I say all of us "jealous haters" dress up as aliens and ghosts and arrive at her house with pitchforks. Let's see how tough she is then!

Monique said...

The are speculating that Sandra Bullock didn't announce the adoption (she brought her son home in Jan) because she didn't want to sway the Oscar voters. Since her character was a white woman raising a adopted child who was African American. I think that is pretty damn classy.

Two words that will never be put together, Tila & Classy.

Joann said...

As far as why she moved, because of aliens and whatever else she was talking about, the skank was hallucinating big time and she will experience the same thing in her new house because it's all in that big bobble head of hers not in the previous house.

I'm surprised she had any content on her site AT ALL. What's new and different about her content?????

The skank had the nerve to say Sandra Bullock COPIED HER and decided to adopt an African American baby. Like Sandra Bullock even knows who Tila is.

What's worse is Tila said the adoption was a great PR move on Sandra's part so no one would suspect she was a Nazi and a white supremacist(or as she spelled it..."white supremeist"). LOL. Keep talking skank.

Joann said...

Thank you Steven for all the info. Great job.

Joann said...

I must correct myself, I don't want to misquote the skank...er...mogul. I quoted it wrong. It should have been..."Tila said the adoption was a great PR move on Sandra's part so no one would suspect she was a Nazi OR a white supremacist.

I had Nazi AND white supremacist.

Isis said...

According to Tila we're all a bunch of inbred hicks who's parents are really first cousins who married each other.

Ben said...

I love that even now she can't put a definitive date on her launch, gossip is about the now, everything she's written is old news and will be older news by the time (if ever) she launches.

The site is just a template, it should be plug and play, or maybe it takes longer to not spell check.

Violet Morellet said...

So yeah, the blog has irrelevant, old news that everyone else has covered, with pics we've already seen, and she even uses words like "lezbot" that show that she stalks Perez's page, frothing at the mouth to do whatever she can to do what he does and then pretend she did it first. It looks like she is going to use that blog as an opportunity to "blast" (and badly) the celebs she doesn't like or is jealous of, and talk about herself. A lot. And post "sexy" pics of herself. Like that's exclusive shit right there, that we never get to see.

Sandra copied Tila? Not only do I agree with the above commentor that Sandra probably has no idea who the reality stripper is, but Tila wasn't the first woman in history who decided to try and adopt, and happened to pick a child to adopt who is outside of their race. Brangelina has an entire Banana Republic brood, so I guess by Tila's logic, that means that Tila is copying them. Because she wants to adopt many, including an African-American child.

That's all off topic of the original post, but it's just another chapter in Tila's story of fail. She really does believe in her shit, and has the confidence that what she does is going to take off, but she can't deliver. Eventually she might learn that and not spend so much energy hyping something up that no one but her is going to give a shit about.

Vanessa said...

From what I've seen online about Sandra Bullock's People Mag interview, she talks about how the domestic adoption process has taken about 4 years, and she's had Louis since mid-late January. TT was still supposedly prego in Jan by one of her various baby daddies. And wasn't this back when she was adopting a Russian baby from the agency that people dug up complaints about?

Also, Sandra Bullock's Oscars acceptance speech now makes a whole lot more sense, she mentioned "the moms that take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from"....

Fatty McFatterson said...

THAT'S the world famous, all-the-insiders-are-talking-about-it, bye-bye-piggy-perez blog????? Holy crap, what a huge pile of steaming doo doo! I think our man Perez can breathe a sigh of relief that he (or his sister) still has a job.

Wasn't Tila suppose to have a milkshake named after her at Millions of Milkshakes and they changed their mind (and of course, according to Tila they expected 20000 people to show up for her, and they didn't have a big enough venue!). It sounds a bit like sour grapes that she's dissing on Lindsay getting a shake named after her, and Millions of Milkshakes was fined by the health department for adding syphillis spores to the Tila shake.

I will post pix of the mansion rooms that are on zillow.com, so y'all can see it's the same place Tila posted a couple months ago.

Fatty McFatterson said...

http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/12801-Moorpark-St-UNIT-111-Studio-City-CA-91604/20023593_zpid/

Fuck it. It has the address, but it's now well-known. Does this layout look familiar (it's the reverse of Tila's but has all the same elements). Check out that kitchen in the 'study', what about those vertical blinds?

Gotta say, I love that swanky pool. I hope that have the pool guy on speed dial cause now that it's spring, Tila will be filling that think up with stds from all her pool parties!

vicky said...

@Monique - Lmao she definitely has that but I'd say she's more of a schizophrenic, with the delusions and paranoia and all..

Good work, maybe we should have selective euthanasia for human beings, lol.
She's probably used to taken huge amounts of horse tranq anyways (k-hole, anyone??)

starfish said...

yeah, you know, i can probably reveal a few things about celebrities(from working and living in hollywood for a while and also from a friend who is a well known and respected photographer in new york) jay-z and beyonce, sham marriage. most rappers are gay or messed around with other men, lots are involved with some pretty sick shit and lots are freemasons. james cameron had a secret meeting with george bush when he was in office (why? not sure really...), scientology is pretty damned bizarre and mind-controlling, selena gomez and other disney stars are part of a mind control agency called MK Ultra, and have been electroshocked and sexually abused..

yeah there are lots of secrets in hollywood. im sure tila might of underwent some sort of programming. look up MK Ultra and illuminati formula to make a mind control slave...

Joann said...

Fatty....from what Tila showed us the layout is very similiar. I was looking to see if they allowed pets, but could not find that info. Appreciate the link.

boytoy said...

Starfish are you serious or joking?

Tila might be on drugs, drinking or haveing
methamphetamine hallucination but to me all of it is for attention tila knows what she is doing.

Monique said...

When she went grocery shopping nearly naked, someone said that the exterior shot was at the Ralph's at 10901 Ventura Blvd in Studio City, which is only 7 mins away from her apt.

alison m m said...

starfish, she has mentioned the illuminati herself

starfish said...

im sure there could be a VERY interesting "gossip blog" if it was allowed to be revealed, but it is kept secretive. there are alot of things going on that are not heard of. google "psuedo occult" and it should bring up a pretty depictive blog...tila is promoting promiscuity, pedophilia, drug use, and porn. is not very healthy also her involvent with casey johnson is peculiar and her young death at age 30...(there is a blog about casey johnson there too)

Jacqui said...

Ugh please. There is nothing 'secretive' about the illuminati etc... everyone knows what a joke it is. You can be a crazy bitch without being part of a "secret" occult, mmmk?

Amanda said...

http://pseudoccultmedia.blogspot.com/2010/01/final-satanic-celebrity-big-brother.html
They said that maybe Tila sacrificed her to Satan, in a ritualistic ceremony.

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