Wednesday, April 21

postheadericon A real day in the life of Tila

Yes, Tila wants you to believe that she lives the life of a mogul. I don't know which mogul exactly, because she does shit like this:

 And of course

Ugh, sick. I don't know about you guys, but that fucking hotdog picture is now my favorite picture of Tila EVER, even though it makes Uncle Eddie's gigantic phallus shrivel up and die. Hey, if The Gnome can have a giant cock, so can I!

Anyway, since her "Party with my Syphilis" tour is now over, we see what the daily life of a, fuck that, really like.

Spiked Tequila gave us a great write-up of Tila trying to get attention from Perez Hilton today, during his twitter feud with Mr. Flesh Colored Beard himself, Spencer Pratt. You can read it here. In short, Tila can't stand that Perez won't give her the time of day, even though she tries so hard to get his attention. Personally I love it. She tries so hard, look:

LOL. I hate to break it to you sweets, but he's not going to respond. He couldn't give less of a fuck about you because you are nothing. You are shit to him. He's not afraid of you, HE JUST DOESN'T GIVE A FUX. LOL see what I did there? Also, the media outlets are saying that about your blog dethroning his because THEY'RE QUOTING YOUR FUCKING DUMB ASS IN THE INTERVIEW YOU GAVE. Jesus fucking Christ Tila, you can't possibly be this stupid, can you?

And just for kicks, let's look at a recent picture of Perez.

Why the fuck does she still call him Piggy Perez? He's obviously lost a lot of weight and looks fucking awesome. Look at him, Tila, you gonna say he's copying your "trademark" blowing a kiss pose? Ooh and he's with Lindsay Lohan - she went to his birthday party! Did she ever go to yours? No? But you tweet her so often! Just because she NEVER EVER responds...I mean...I thought you guys were friends! (LOL no I didn't. You're fucking pathetic, Tila.)

So anyway, a little later Tila can't get off this Perez kick she's on. She tells her Tila Army to vote in this poll:

And you can see her Army runs to it in DROVES. FUCKING DROVES I TELL YOU.

Wanna see how it turned out?

Note: you can STILL go vote on this poll. But oh, poor Tila. Even your army couldn't help you win this one.

And then, my personal favorite, she starts telling us all about Alexa searches.

I did one of my own - I compared Tila's new yet-to-be-launched gossip blog to Here's what I got:

LOL you can hardly even see Tila's gossip blog WAY down there at the bottom! The stats on the right, like where it says "up 70%" are the stats for Tila's gossip blog. Yes, in the past month, when you've been out spouting your meth-crazy word vomit all over the place, the hits for your blog have gone up 70%. Too bad they're going and seeing that it's not launched yet. But you still see how the numbers are REALLY REALLY LOW? Does that show you how successful your PR pantyshot tour was?

And you better believe if the gossip blog actually ever launches we'll be keeping an eye on it, just to see if you ever really do beat Perez. (Hint: DOUBTFUL)

And thus, kiddies, is the real life day of a hogul. Everybody golf clap for Tila!


Darrin said...

I guess rolling them up in carpet and tossing them off a bridge would be a money saver compared to the "Shooting them into space" idea that I had. What a waste of carpet though.

Anonymous said...

You know there a lot of fuckin pissed off people who are clickin on that link going WTF????!!!! LOL She's such a tool!

Adtastic said...

I would LOVE to see the above pictures of Miss Meth with Donald Trump's head photoshopped on her body as she goes about her "mogul" business..

Joann said...

This skank is so moronic it's not funny. How can her gossip site be massively growing in traffic when it not even published yet. What the hell is she talking about.

Going on her past track record this gossip site is not going to be about anything too much except her lies about others, pictures of herself and slamming Perez, that's why she keeps talking about him so much.

That's her way to get people to go there, just to see what's it all about, when and if she ever gets it online.

Tila always has to slam on another person more famous than she is to get attention.

Seagal said...

Christ!! She is so damn stupid. She keeps making a fool of herself. She thinks she is so awesome that she started that poll and lost LMAO Just too damn funny. She can only get attention by either showing her tits and ass, which most find disgusting, or slamming someone else & the numbers don't lie, people are just so sick of her. PATHETIC!!

jenn said...

maybe she calls him piggy perez cause to her, he is fat. she is an 80 pound meth whore, after all.

deluwiel said...

Her tweets and facebook entries are beginning to sound a little frantic and panicky - all the capital letters and exclamation points... trying so desperately to make these two-bit interviews and strip club appearances seem relevant and impressive. Now she's saying the blog will launch "on a secret day" this week at midnight. For cryin' out loud. Just keep feeding that line out, Tila. You're bound to hook a few dumb fish that keep taking the bait over... and over... and over...

Clementine said...

I love how the tweet about it launching says:

ahhhhhhhh I can't wait!!!!!! launches at midnight on a secret day this snooze, u loose! See u soon! xox

Sooo she's only going to launch it for a couple of hours?? Because the way most websites work is you publish them and then anyone can go back and see anything they missed if they feel like it. No need to stay up until Midnight just to see it. She says it is because there is a HUGE surprise there for she finally going to tell the truth? Because that would be a big fucking surprise.
Most likely though like all her "surprises" it will involve her looking like a two bit hooker or holding someones child and claiming it as her own. OR if we are really lucky both.

Anonymous said...

I voted on the website and said she sucks more.

Anonymous said... much for their not being ANY crotch shots of her out there. Damn, and it wasn't even a paparazzi who took it, I'm sure it was just her assistant! What a dumbass, who says they are no crotch shots (when their obviously are, but she deleted that one) and then goes and takes another one in the middle of the city and posts it online for everyone to see. I mean seriously, come on, who post their on crotch shots on the internet?!?! Real celebs would think that was embrassing, not flaunt it.

Jenn said...

Seriously? Teal underwear? This "mogul" becomes more and more of a skank everyday. I really can't stand this bitch. She is a walking contradiction. Nobody can ask her about Casey; but she brings her up all the time. She tells everyone that she's a millionaire; but takes money from strippers. She hates Perez; yet she can't stop talking about him. I really wish that she would just shut the fuck up once and for all.

I caught part of her little Perez/website rant yesterday. *Yawn* She said that it wasn't a fair fight because she clearly won. I asked her how she had won since she hasn't done anything yet. No response yet. I guess when you have green screen, you're an automatic winner. She's such a dumbass.

Anonymous said...

Interview with Perez Hilton:
"Q: Recently, there’s been drama with you and Tila Tequila, if you could describe her in one word, what would it be?
A: Nonexistent."