Monday, September 20

postheadericon Guest Post: Who is Mr. Bradshaw?


Here is a guest post, highlighting the LUXURIOUS and SENSUAL Mr. Bradshaw.  It was written by my facebook husband/internets lolyer, Jon Bukan.


Well HELLO Gems! It's ME.. your bedazzling cohort, The Other Mr. B.. Bukan that is. And today GEMS, we are going to have a little look at our favourite glue gun fashonista. Mr. Bradshaw. Stylist to the Stars. Ok, Stylist to quite a few celebs that no one likes/cares about/ are washed up.

Oh and If I jump from the first to the Third person, try to keep up. It's how we do it in WeHo.
( er, West Hollywood for all those in Ohio )

I have personally always had a soft spot in my heart for La Bradshaw. I don't know if its his eyebrows that are clearly drawn on with a Sharpie. Or could it be the Vaseline slick pout that he pulls like a 15 yearold girl EVERYTIME he gets his photo taken? I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that he mistakes self importance for self belief. Whatever.




But what is this? Could it be true? The screen shots my fellow Rot Spotters have collected tell us GASP* that the biggest Gem Of Them All has left the Condomansion? Oh dear readers, so it aint so!

It seems that Tila has worked her magic again and one more gay hits the dust. And boy has Tila gone through our beloved gays.

First there was Leo Madrid. Ahhh Leo, Tila's handy assistant. We actually liked Leo. We thought not only was he cute, he had smarts. We could not understand for the life of us why such a talented guy would hook up with a noxious shred of psychotic rat shit like Tila. But a girls gotta eat, right Leo? After a very few months, we saw Mr. Madrid use that talent to move on to better and let's face it, cleaner pastures. Saying that, every single picture of Leo at a club with Tila looked like he wanted to kill himself from the shame of being seen with her.




And then we started to notice something interesting. Something with quite large eyebrows. Something that wore accessories that were Bedazzled within an INCH of their lives. Something with a forehead that you could shine till it glowed in the dark. The One and Only Mr. Bradshaw. Who is he? Where did he come from? Are those heels he was wearing?

The truth is, Mr. Bradshaw is a stylist with, in our humble opinion Gems, not alotta style. In fact (and here is a secret) Mr. Bradshaw is not really named Mr. Bradshaw at all. Just plain old Anthony. But Yanno, everyone wants their 15 minutes and Tony (as I like to call him) found his 3 and a half dressing Tila in the most style free outfits he could possibly dream up. In fact, one night after I plucked Uncle Eddies toe hair and poured him a glass of Blue Nun we decided that Tony was dressing Tila like a douche bag for the fun of it. I mean Tony, were you in fact high when you put her in that Belt 'O Bra getup?




There were other issues for us. We often felt like stealing his Bedazzling gun and stomping it into small pieces when he would use the term of endearment “Gem” for all of his 3,000 followers on Twitter. Oh and by the way, any one who he considers a Jelis Hater is called a Pebble. So yeah. Guess that's us Rotspotters. Pebbled. But moving on.

HAI ANTHONY YOURE NOT LADY GAGA. You have not quite earned the privilege of naming your *cough* fans.

And there was the singing. For the love of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. It sort of speaks for itself.


video


But enough about that. Lets just pop a bottle of our best Faygo and be the first to congratulate Mr. Bradshaw for coming to his ever loving senses as he seems to have dropped Tila like a he would drop a house on a witch. We don't know why, we don't care why! We just know that Tila took to her blog and made it fact. Good enough for us here at the Rot Spot!

But beware Mr. Bradshaw, Tila likes to plot her revenge. I would click my heels as fast as I can sister, and get the hell out of Oz.

She may get you and your little dog too!

UPDATE PEBBLES: 

And this is breaking news. As opposed to breaking wind. Our beloved Mr. Bradshaw has come out of the fakey name closet. He has, after much reading of the Rot Spot, decided to change his name to Anthony B. No really. And innit crazy how all of the sudden, hours after we posted he decided to change it up? Coincidence? I think NOT. Anywho my little bedazzled cousins, have a gander at this update on his website. Mind your ears, they might bleed.





30 comments:

hanah said...

Oh.My.God.

That video... the singing... the attitude... I...can't.

How in the world can you sing like this, dance like this, (in Tila's case) play the piano like this, record it and still think you have a talent there?? I know there's a whole business built on this (ie xfactor, america's got talent, etc) and I'd really like to know how those people can't hear/see how bad it is?

angela said...

I don't know about Bradshaw, But I do think that Garry Sun or whatever his name is, still posts positive messages on Tilas, blog. He posts under people with first and last names. Bradshaw is a waste of space and will never amount to anything. As for Tila, if she isn't careful she will end up dead soon.

Tragic said...

Good lord, he sounds like a rabbit caught in a carburetor...

angela said...

Yila's singing and piano status are absolutely awful. My cat started howling because Tila's singing was so hideous. Tila's screeching. I hope that Tila realizes how awful her singing is.

tui said...

Uh oh...... now who will get the skank the invites she craves? Billboardhead may have used her for "fame" er, notoriety, but she used him to get her oozing cooch a red carpet to roll around on. Plus, who's gonna supply her with mer meth now?

All gays of hollywood......BEWARE, the skank is on the hunt for her next cohort/victim.

Bedazzle THIS said...

See, I *want* to like Bradshaw. I DO. But he is such a twat. He has zero sense of humour about himself and that, for a gay of his epic nature, is a crime.

Joann said...

O...M...G.

I haven't laughed this hard since Tila's meth filled twitter rants back in the day.

Dude was all up in that song...snapping his fingers, twisting his hips and didn't I see him do some sort of belly roll?

When he put his hand over that one ear and hit that high note like he was in an opera...THEN had the nerve to hold it even longer and took the same note to an even higher pitch....I rolled guys. I rolled.

I don't know what was worse, the YES, YES, YES or the NO, NO, NO and flinging his arms around trying to simulate a bird in flight.

I know his neighbors have filed numerous complaints on him.

Mr.B gave us a show and a half.
When he hit those high notes I thought my computer screen would shatter even though it's not made of glass and I know I heard a couple of dogs outside my window...howling.

I watched the video 3 times and laughed even harder each time.

I have to give Mr. B credit though. His eyes are really pretty when he's not hiding them behind those crappy sunglasses he wears all the time.

I'm happy he cut the "Tila strings" and ventured out on his own.

Just don't sing Mr.B...please don't sing ever, ever again.

amber said...

I thought he had more talent than Tila.... That doesn't say much though.

Stiff Nymph said...

I liked the Victor/Victoria bit at 3:58, but I would have preferred had he worked it out like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VCyN9DUE5Q

SJDC31 said...

I think I saw bra straps!!!!

gillianthemad1013 said...

I have no patience for style-guru wannabes with inflated egos wanting to coin tacktastic phrases. Although I was always half-convinced that Bradshaw was a jeliz hater double agent, sent to Tila Camp to dress her up in the most outrageous outfits and see what he could get away with.

Cathy said...

I have not laughed that hard in a long time!!! That was hysterical. I loved the end "Smooches"!!!! Just when I didnt think I could lol more there it was in all of its glory! I too saw bra straps. I loved the duet he did with him self.

SMOOCHES!!!!

Bedazzle THIS said...

Thanks @stiff. Im now watching Philipino Gots Talents vids. Im sending these to Bradshaw.

Fatty McFatterson said...

I've seen some of the celebs who Bradshaw has 'styled' and no one looks as horrible as Tila often does after he gets through with her. That tells me that Tila is his 'throw-away'. He respectfully dresses other celebs, but uses Tila as his guinea pig and just throws shit her way.

If you tell Tila something looks cute or sexy on her, that's good enough for her. The whole Juggalo fiasco could have had a vastly different spin if someone had merely pointed out how 'cute' she looked covered in feces and Faygo.

Ironically, the Juggalos turned out to be better stylists than Bradshaw that day. The feces brought out the color of her eyes and the Faygo was a good counterpoint to the wonky tits.

Joann said...

I wanted to watch the video again this morning. Each time I watch it I see something I missed from the time before.

What had me rolling again this morning was at the end of the video where he says "I hope you enjoyed that, blah, blah" and then says in his high pitched voice "smooches".

Can't you see him on the audition part of American Idol. Randy would be on the floor.

I still say Mr. Bradshaw dressed Tila so people would laugh at her. That's strictly my opinion but I'm sticking with it.

anon110 said...

@Joann

I still say Mr. Bradshaw dressed Tila so people would laugh at her.

If that was the case, it worked. :)

Jon and Liz Edmunds said...

I cant even make this up if I tried 4 minutes into his singing debut my computer spontaneously stopped the sound...who knew? The video reminded me of a ex-boyfriend of mine, and one of my good friends who is in fact gay and acts the same way at times. Neither the ex-bf or my good friend have sang in front of me but I was subjected to their silly dance routines. I was wondering if 9head was smoking Tilas peace pipe.

oLulubella said...

yes mr bradshaw, HOW did you GET HERE!?!? HAHA! wow that was...very uh...i dont even know!?!? but anyways...ha!!!! he seems fun and funny tho!

Joann said...

@anon110...LOL...yes it did...big time.

I was reading over Tila's twitter and she left this tweet for her AOI's(army of idiots)...."Hey #TilaArmy! Im on a secret set about 2 film a new TV show! Its gonna be so awesome! It will air on sep 27th on LOGO channel! Wish me luck".

As you guys know the LOGO channel is for gay and lesbian viewers.

Tila has already made the sex tape for Vivid Entertainment, so what is this other thing she's doing on LOGO?

Anyone have an update on this?

Fatty McFatterson said...

I'm not usually embarrassed for people, especially people I don't like, but that video is soooo bad. If I was his mama, I'd be hiding behind a huge rock. I had to try three separate times to watch it. The first two times I got through less than 15 seconds. I'm trying to take one for he team. I'm in at 2:40 minutes so far.

Does it get better? OMG the flying like a 'lovely black butterfly'...omg... you have to watch that part.

What the fuck is that shriek? Does he think it sounds good? Seriously. He has to be on something. He is so fucking off key it's not funny. He sounds a lot better when he's not doing that horrid falsetto.

OK, I have to turn it off at 4:20. Ironic, ain't it?

jayden said...

My dogs started howling uncontrollably the second he started singing. It's the same thing they do when they hear a cat fight outside or someone with really squeaky brakes stops out front. Poor Bradshaw.

kosherdish said...

@Jayden, my dog totally jumped up in my lap to investigate what was dying on the kitchen table.

My ears hurt.

Ben said...

Bradshaw was extremely full of himself. I'm glad he's male because if I ever did see him in real life I would punch him so hard his fake eyebrow would stick to my fist.

I remember him tweeting that he was at a bar and the bartender was ignoring his side of the bar (which anyone who's ever worked or been at a bar has seen happen) So how did Bradshaw handle it? He complained until he got the bartender fired. That was the second time he tweeted about getting a person fired for not kissing his ass. He needs to be brought back to reality.

FUYU said...

Wow.. is it just me... or did his sharpie brows double in size since that pic of him and Leo was taken (compared to the first picture)?

Jacqueline said...

OMG!!....My ears pains after his creepy noise....whoa!

Blondie said...

I love my queer people but he is an embarrassment..smh.

Tiffanie said...

lmfaoooooo someone would have to be on some good drugs to post something like that on the internet. I would like to thank the rotspot and mr bradshaw for giving me a hell of a good laugh today though.

Oconnordaria said...

@FUYU:

The brows were probably expanded to be more in proportion with the forehead.

Michelle said...

Was he exorcising demons? It's the only explanation for that.

Mary said...

I'm a PEBBLE?!? Shit! That's adorable! It's like calling people who dislike you 'snuggle bugs' or something.

I think his eyebrows swell up like some weird self-satisfaction fuelled sex organs.

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