Wednesday, September 1

postheadericon Tila's Vegas Preview

We all know Tila is winging her way to Vegas to perform at a strip club. I found a few gems out there in Googleville that I'd like to share. I came across a poster for Tila's appearance.
How old is that damn picture they used? That looks pre-Shot At Love days! A 6-8 year old picture at least. Guess they know her ugly ass-face now would make people run. Tila is there - this poster does NOT say "hosting" or "performing" - on September 4th. Pay attention to the red circle. This is a WEEK before it officially opens! They are doing a few trial runs before the actual opening. This bitch wasn't even slutty or popular enough to actually be invited to the REAL opening. Who is reported to follow Tila the next day? Angelina Pivarnick. Someone from Jersey Shore, I've never even heard of. I know of only two from the gossip rags. Snooki and Situation. So they couldn't even score the other midget of reality famewhoring. (Please note the prior post of mine speaking of Tila being covered up and classy.)

Now... what's the absolute best thing about this poster? Look at the bottom - it was posted on CRAIGSLIST. Yeah, people must be knocking down the doors if they have to post ads on a free site.

I also found a really great write up on the club itself over at the Daily Fiasco. It's actually really damn funny, I'll post a few of the best snippets here.

VIP areas are tiered on either side of the main floor, and tables surround the stages — one of which bears the unfortunate moniker “The Beaver Stage.” Likewise, the club’s mascot is a gold-toothed and top-hatted castor canadensis and you can use your credit card to buy “Beaver Bucks,” which can be used in lieu of cash if you aren’t happy with the methods currently at your disposal to abuse the plastic at gentlemen’s establishments. Still, the choice of nomenclature is cringe-inducing. We’re already at a strip club, fellas. No need to make it less subtle.
Beaver Bucks!! Get your Beaver Bucks right here kids!

the cocktail servers take the downstairs attire — a black and silver corset with silver sequined booty shorts — to a logical conclusion we’re surprised we’ve never seen anywhere else. They wear black and gold underbust corsets with gold pasties, for a more, ah, free-swinging experience.
Ah, high class surroundings!

They’re bringing in Tila Tequila Sept. 4, and coming right back with Angelina Pivarnick, the second-least likable broad on Jersey Shore (after the risable Sammi), Sept. 5. But at least that weekend there’ll be a few other girls there you’d actually want to see topless.
*giggles* Hope whomever attends gets a chance for the other girls they DO want to see topless! I'm waiting on Tila to be trying to steal the girls money... I hear Vegas chicks don't play around.


kellymae said...

Ok, one of our vegas or LA peeps, (I'm looking at you Sheriff Gauncet) needs to go to this. Please, please, please, please, please. Like I said, I'll kick in for gas money, beaver bucks, whatever the fuck you need as long as you take pictures and blog the fuck out of it once you get back.

I understand that some things once seen cannot be unseen, but come on, take one for the team. Hell I will kick in for workers comp if you want.

How bout it Uncle Eddie? Sessy times for anyone that goes and checks it out?

If I had a passport I'd totally be on a plane for this. I so fucking would.

Ben said...

Funny thing is there's a good chance of her canceling out on this gig. (she's either late or cancels to most everything) If she does she'll blow her "I have a contract I can't back out" defense.

I'm sure you'll get to the post of the guy who said Tila is not a slut. She is the definition of slut. No ifs ands or butts.

Jim said...

OK, since I actually live in Vegas I guess it's worth wasting a Sat. night to at least check out the new club. Doubt if we can get away with throwing anything at the hoe. You don't want to mess with Vegas bouncers. However, the only thing tougher than a Vegas bouncer is a Vegas dancer (stripper). Really hope Tila tries to make off with their tips. If anyone else makes the trip, the club is on Dean Martin Dr (was Industrial rd) which runs along the west side of I15. Get off at Russel Rd (way before you get to the strip). Got west to 1st street with is Dean Martin, turn left about 1/4 mile.

kellymae said...

@Jim. THank you!! You are my new hero.

Prof. Chaos said...

Jim, way to take one for the team!! Sheriff G said he would throw himself in front of the Faygo for the sake of reporting too. She's a lying skeeze. "Oh, I'm here for the grand opening; Oh, I'm too classy for this shit; Oh, I'm a warrior from another time." Douche is too nice a word for her.

Anywhozzle, I can't wait to see the rotspot posts on the impending train wreck. And btw, whatever happened to "I'm no longer a gossip site, I'm all about me?" She changed the headings, forgot to tell her staff to stop writing inane bs about no one hours after everyone else reported the same. She only shows up to talk about psychotic shite.

MsWonkyTits said...

Haahaa! I'm finally back from out of town and catching up.
Yay Jim! So glad you will be able to report on it. I bet that shit will be hilarious. She will look like a trainwreck and be high as a kite!

MsWonkyTits said...

Oops,scratch that. I just saw it was the 4th. I will continue to read up :). I'm hungover and apparently can't read or process dates right now.