Thursday, September 23
The Tila Recycle
11:09 AM | 
Posted by
Eduardo Retardo
Hey guys, great news! Tila's making an iPhone app!
Speculation on twitter is that this amazing new app will not only call the paparazzi & alert them to your whereabouts, but it will also file sexual harassment suits against you when you touch it! (Thanks, twitter friends! Add your own "what will Tila's iPhone app do?" in the comments!)
Wait. Does this sound familiar to anybody? IT SHOULD. This is another one of Tila's classic lies, recycled for our lulzy pleasure.
Note the time stamp. This screencap was taken on 4/21/2010, so you have to add 5 months.
This one was taken the next day, 4/22. I love how that one says they're available for download, yet ends with "info soon." Which is it?
Oh, so now it's launching in a few weeks? That's funny, I didn't realize a few weeks meant over a year. I included the page number in case you guys would like to go see for yourselves. These are from the archive of her old twitter, here: celebritytweet.com. By the way, the time stamp TODAY on these last two caps says she tweeted these things 471 days ago. Nice.
I must be wrong, you guys. Tila can't just be recycling old lies. Her Tila Army must be smarter than that, right? RIGHT!? And Tila said she's always 10 steps in front of the haters...that has to be true! Right?
Right!?
Sigh.
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27 comments:
Isn't she in Africa?! ;).
I bet her iphone app can get you pregnant... That's what I heard anyhow. The sad thing is, it also gives you STD's.
I hear the "new" tila app warns you when 'the others" are around, it plays that Jay song with Rhiannon and Kanye.
the application also has a recording contract so you can be signed on to her recording company also
The Tila App will have a Shake A Scandal feature that allows you to shake the phone for a random scandal built out of a library of verbs, nouns, adjectives and expletives. For instance: *shake* "Tila Pregnant by Courtney Semel Pow!" If you like the scandal you have buttons to post on Twitter, Facebook or TMZ. So much fun!
The "miss tila" app will also be able to access the flourescent detective light located within the iphone's LED strobe so that users can check their crotch in the dark (like a toilet or closet) for pesky little vermen h8r bugs that may be crawling around in one's RotSpot!!
Ya know I stole the $599 cash from my sick grandma for an iPhone just to get this hot app, its still being developed, its gonna be the shiznit. Perfection takes time. Tila your serious about this right? RIGHT? *facepalm*
So at first she claimed it was free, how much you want to bet she's going to charge for it? She loves her army so much, as long as they keep tossing money her way.
By the way, if anyone can make iPhone apps, I have an idea for a game.
Tila is on stage warbling and you have to pick up items from the ground to throw at her before she takes off her top and charges you. Each time you hit her she'll spout a catch phrase of "jelis", "hater" or, of course, "jelis hater".
Who's up for developing that?
Have you ever ran across a person who is always telling you about their grandiose plans for their life yet you never see the outcome of these ideas. That's Tila.
I remember her talking about these sometime apps last year.
I was wondering how you make your own phone app so I went to google. Found a load of info such as:
http://hubpages.com/hub/How-To-Make-Your-Own-iPhone-Apps
I think I can safely say Tila will NOT be making her own phone apps. She has driven away all of the 3 or 4 friends she did have who could possibly help her.
She might find some random dude who knows a lot about doing this type of thing and con him into doing it for her.
She definitely won't pay him with cold cash but will probably pay him with her "special services". lol.
Tila can recycle her lies over and over every month, let alone yearly, and her AOI's will never catch on.
They will say she's very busy and hasn't gotten around to it but she will. I love u Miss Tila...you so hot and beautiful...pleeeeeze follow me Miss Tila pleeeeeze...now playing Paralyzed...now playing I F*cked The DJ...now playing Blue Dress...now playing Get Me Off.
Dumb F*cks.
I can't say what I would want her app to do. It's not nice, not nice at all.
@yunakitty3
That was posted in comments for The Gossip Queens. That's an article about Joda. Joda isn't your normal Tila Army member. Even THEY think she's crazy.
so did tila get ipod touch or ipad im like really lost here. anyways tila acts like its never been out before and they just came out, yeah they upgraded it like every year, i have ipod touch since they first came out.
I do like that idea of a game of tila on stage, and a guy in clown makeup picks turds, bottles, and various objects off the ground and chucks them at tila while she's waves a rag around and squats while taunting you. Very simple idea and should be easy to make, certainly it will be out be for the totally legit super cool fun tila app will be available. Name the game tila turd dodger, or jelis juggalo.
I would like a Miss Tila iphone app that allows you to be Mr. Bradshaw - then you could change outfits, shoes, hair color, etc. It would have bedazzler feature to decorate accessories and hide the occassional wonky nipple. You could make a competive on line version were people can compete for GEMS based on the sluttiest outfits. Winner gets a free roll down a back alley red carpet event and a life time supply of sharpies.
One could only dream that the Tila application would instantly electrocute anyone who uses it.
I don't have a fun itouch app idea that hasn't been covered already, but here's a laugh. I am a manager of a Halloween store, and I overheard a customer telling his friend that he was going to dress as a Juggalo for Halloween, dress his girl up like Tila, and throw shit at her all night as his super duper costume idea. They even came up and asked me if I sold fake shit. <3
Double album? So, that's like six songs, right?
The Tila app will allow users to buy Tila Merch (coming soon!).
The Tila app will also allow fans to sign up for rides in the Lambo and sleepovers at the apartmansion.
(Thanks for posting this. I thought the iPhone app thing sounded familiar, haha. I'm glad there's no chance of it infecting my Android phone.)
Check out Carlton Jordan post about Tila's black hair and her piano playing. It's funny.
http://carltonjordan.com/2010/09/20/tila-tequila-dyes-her-hair-black-to-match-her-soul/
Joann, wow, that is by far and away the best thing CJ has ever written. Good find!
Sign my petition please :)
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/TilaTequila/
@ Misty.... BEST APP EVER....
SMOOCHES
I think the app will be able to calibrate your voice with the sound of a cat being dunked in a toilet so you can get that oh-so-desirable Tila sound effect. Free track of a toddler banging on their Little Tykes piano thrown in to get the background music just right. Put them together and you're ready for a concert, baby!
iphone app?? I could care less...
but! I found this and the audience alone made me pee a little! Check it -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LM8CDo7tXQ
http://perezhilton.com/2010-09-24-the-situation-says-bye-to-new-jersey-and-hello-to-los-angeles/
perez BURNS tila. nice. lol
has anyone seen this? george lopez calling tila a whore! (i think?)
http://perezhilton.com/2010-09-24-the-situation-says-bye-to-new-jersey-and-hello-to-los-angeles#respond
@ Britney..thanks for the link. You know I always say everyone in Hollywood thinks she's a joke, but SHE REALLY IS A JOKE.
George Lopez shot her down big time. DAMN...that was low, which is fitting for her.
@Blondie...I signed.
I signed the petition, and she's been trying to get perez to talk about her for the longest time. She knows beefing with a big shot like him will generate traffic to her site if he responds.
I just read all of these. LMAO at those app ideas. <3 the Rotspotters!