Tila chose to run her cocksucker because she was in hopes that her threats did something.  Unlike her, I am NOT a liar.  I don't have to lie and say that "something is temporarily wrong and I'm working on it".  The blog was never "shut down" as you'll see in this post.  *points and laughs* at TT!

So back to the reason of why we're here - to make fun of the drug induced, money grubbing, hooker known as Tila "the skank" Tequila.

Now ... on with the show!!!!!!!! 

Recently TT took a "trip" to the UK to "perform" in sleezy nightclubs as usual.  That's her thing.  She's proud of it and I guess rightly so since she can't get anyone here in our wonderful country to pay her to do shit ... except suck some cock.  Funny enough, readers also think that she goes on her "tours" for the same reason.

• Pulling down her bikini bottoms because her demon snatch needed to breathe
  
• Shoving her hand down into her undies to close the gateway to hell
• Sucking on her fingers like she had just eaten some Doritos
• Rubbing her crotch so the genie would come out and grant her three wishes

Hey guys!  So how do you like our newest writer Seola?  Personally I like her a lot, but only because she puts out.

So if you're reading this, it means we're unlocked!  Yippee!  Hooray!  However, as I'm writing this we are STILL locked, so it's a little weird.  Anyway, in an attempt to get us to unlock early (you cheeky bastards) we were inundated with love and admiration over on twitter.  I wish I would have saved some of the tweets that abounded with #TeamRotSpot in them, because some of them were amazing.  What I did save, however, were the awesome twitpics we got!  So here you guys go, see if you can recognize your art!


This one made me lol for a long time.  This was the first.  Then came the boobies.




What's up with everyone on #TeamRotSpot having huge knockers?  I dunno but I approve.


And, not to be outdone, my boyfriend got his sweater puppies out for a good time.


Merlin knows what's up.  High five, Merlin.





Wow, Sade!  That's as close to a celebrity endorsement as we'll ever get!  I'LL TAKE IT!

Special thanks to @PKittyTrisha, @Neenahboo2, @jtkalcich, @LiquidHardCandy, @macmacmac1, @apocryphalyou, @jumsgirl and @HATERMEHHEH for their love!  <3

Update! 
Many of you have asked if you can get your own boobie pics posted here.  Absolutely.  Uncle Eddie will NEVER turn away pictures of your melons, DUH.  So just tweet 'em, or email 'em to us if you don't have twitter, and I'll get that shit a-poppin'!  (Tweeting them to me is the most sure-fire way for me to see them, don't forget to @EduardoRetardo)

Our mega-fan, and all around plethora of radness, Alabama Worley tweeted these to me today!

SHIT. YES.  <3

Update #2 
The boobies just keep pouring in!  Man, I sure love boobies.  Seriously, keep sending them in and this will be the longest, boob-filled-est post ever. 


These fabulous knockers come direct from my favorite wee Scottish lassie Claire Bear!

You know, if you want to send me boobie pictures that you don't want posted here...for Uncle Eddie's PERSONAL collection...I fully support that, too.  Just sayin'.

This will be a weekly feature from your dearest, Seola Uno. I will dig deep into the chlamydia and push aside the warts to get to some old info, articles, etc. on our beloved cum dumpster. We’ll get to see her lies played out several years ago and show she had haters long before us and will long after. I will attempt to number the lies, so throughout our time together, we’ll get to celebrate each and every driveling, winding, cheesy lie and you get to count up! We are going to start with one of the first tweets off her “officialtila” account with Twitter. Just for fun’s sake – let’s start where the Rotspot did.

Excuse me while I catch my breath. 485 days ago, or 69 weeks, or 16 months ago – someone tweeted her something that hurt our poor little Tila. This tweet proves relevant for one major reason. “Wtf are you on?” Ah hahahaha hahah roflcopterz. This coming from the skank who’s “on” dozens of unwitting guys and girls and drugs too! I can say that because Tila herself admitted it when she thought she was going to get some love from the Celeb Rehab folks. But here also lies an insult that many of us have not ticked off the list (black people, African Americans, men, pregnant women, “non ethnic”, etc.). It’s a not so clever blond reference!

Can’t keep betting when you’re broke, baby. You’ve gambled on trying to take out an NFL star (fail), gambled on several pregnancies (fail), faking mental illness (fail), faking suicide (fail), IVF claims (fail), dating site (fail), gambling site (fail), record label (can it be a fail if it never started?), music (fail), house in Thailand (fail), fake engagements (fail) and you don’t even know how to operate a simple alarm clock to get to flights on time.

Time for Lie #1.

For all the working out she did, Oliver Stone had no projects from this tweet through now attached to Tila’s name. Really though, how slow does someone ask a question to have time for someone to do all that? And why, oh God, why couldn't she have knocked herself out forever by one of her beef curtains smacking her in the face during a jumping jack? Yeah bitches, you know you got that imagery. Don't be grossed out - think of how fucking funny that would be.

Now, as minor as this lie is – it’s got the lolz. Lie #2.

Tila spouting intelligence on how we are all vibrators! You see, we are made of energy, not… *snort* vibrations. Energy doesn’t vibrate; its energy in shifting is made of natural combines. Humans have to manipulate energy of atoms and rearrange it to make shoes. Atoms are not vibrations – they are solid mass. The lie comes in with this stupid claim of an experiment in Philly. She claims this isn't known because it's a government cover up. But somehow, Skankbag Tila was able to get what would probably be classified Yankee White security clearance? Like, she totally only exists because we read the interwebz. Get it? Does this mean if we shake Tila hard enough she’ll disappear? Wow – that’d be amazingly awesome. If everything Tila always wanted was a shitty, trashed apartment, a dog chained to a stripper pole, no car, no job, no money and a sidekick with a forehead they are turfing now for the Superbowl – she wins! But why didn’t she rearrange her atoms to save Casey, instead of having Casey move all her shit (and medications) to her house, then locking her out and Casey’s dogs in, and take off to parts unknown?

Okay, so - stop me if you've heard this one... skanky chick really has no staff or legal team, and will probably have to pull yet another post for wrongly accusing something and not having the common sense to use the right wording to keep her ass from having to rip more pieces of her jaded puzzle out of her site. Heard it? Yeah, because it's happened and will again.

Here for your lolz and comparison is the original wording of both Tila's site and the original poster, Zack Taylor's site. But first take note (I do hot have images enabled, one hit is one from me!) of what she named the location for the picture: The Queen of "The All Seeing Eye" Biggest Devil Worshipper! She's so rad, doncha know? Tila's blurb is about twice as long as Zack's and in his limited space, he uses alleged twice and the lovely "don't sue me" phrase - looks like. Tila uses alleged once, but not only does her headline state as fact, but she repeats that it IS Gaga again. When pictures like this come out, when writing a blog based on gossip, you must include alleged or similar terms each time. Forget that it was already fact when she posted that it was not Gaga. I saw it on Zack's site, looks like a porn still with the camera angle not possible from the dude.

But she's soooo legit, she says it all the time!
This reads to me: Wah wah wah! BELIEVE ME PLEASE!!! I'm soooooo awesome and I'm comparing my site to Perez and TMZ to prove it! A) Perez is a douche but his sister runs the site, even Tila knew that. So it isn't Perez posting it. B) TMZ has NEVER posted a full uncensored picture of anyone. They always have those red stars over everything. As far as I can tell, they stayed far, far away from the Miley crotch shot scenario. Makes sense, Levin is a former lawyer. Tila's site isn't celeb gossip - it's an RSS feed of other sites and the "exclusives" are all about her. In a quick tag search, more than 60% of the articles on her site, are about her. If they aren't about her, she makes it about her somehow. In any event, copying and pasting from an RSS feed isn't breaking news - it's just an RSS feed of others stories with some ridiculously selfish additions to it.

But let the record show - she tells haters to Fuck Off, posts about a celeb and STD's, Devil worshiping, etc. but Perez "posts nasty things 24/7". At least he doesn't post about jacking off - for which I am profoundly grateful and so is my lunch. I swear, when I saw her posts last night about her getting all hot and bothered, I threw up in my mouth. I was eating for God's Sakes - Stop it Tila. I'm starting a new campaign aimed at keeping Tila from grossing people out. S.O.L.D. Save Our Lunch & Dinner. (Double meaning ftw.)

So after all that, what does one do, when trying to act like she's a buddy to a mega superstar with an alleged nude photo? Why, claim he's the baby dad... well, it's a girl this time so claim there's a sex tape!

I like Lady Gaga.  I really do.  So tonight I saw Tila saying she didn't just have Gaga NUDES, she had a pic of Gaga that included full on penetration, and I was curious.  Instead of clicking on her link, I asked people on twitter and was QUICKLY informed that Radar had already confirmed that it wasn't Gaga.  No big surprise.  I also heard that the pic was blurry and half the face was missing, besides the fact that it looked nothing like Gaga.  Okay, whatever.

But that started a whole shebang of utter bullshit coming from Tila's twitter.


See the =P?  That probably means she's joking, right?  But then she kept going...


and going


and when people didn't believe her, she tweeted:


and when she STILL got called a liar, by the #littlemonsters (Gaga's fans on twitter), she tweeted:


and when they STILL didn't believe her, she tweeted:


Tila, always true to her pre-teen audience *cough cough* then tweeted:


So this is what is currently going on over in Tila Land.  This doesn't even include her replies to people, like the one where she talks about being a squirter.  Yeah, I thought you guys could live without that one.  And now she's off furiously masturbating.  I'm kind of depressed that I know that.

But hey, remember this?


Hey, you guys want a link to a 4 second clip of Tila's sex tape?  Okay, here it is.  There's lots of porn circulating the internet that claims to be of her (trust me, my boyfriend - who is truly evil - put it on our Apple TV without telling me so I had a lovely surprise one day) and is NOT her.  It's some other Asian porn actress who only KIND OF, IF YOU SQUINT (hahaha no pun intended you racist jackholes) looks like Tila.  Then there's her Playboy videos, and her video with Masuimi Max which can be found here in stills. 

And for good measure, since she denies that's her in the 4tube video, here she is threatening to sue over it on TMZ.

Nice job, dipshit.  Hey, remember when Tila was famous for being overly-sexualized, and not for being an overly-sexualized liar with mental issues?  Ah, memories.

So you guys probably saw Tila tweeting about buying a Lambo.  Lately she's been on this driving kick since that video of her driving Bradshaw home when he was drunk.  And then there's this video where she says she's a "professional speed racer."  Sort of.  She stumbles upon that conclusion.


Let's just ignore the fact that if you really WERE a professional race car driver you'd probably know how to say you were.  No, really, let's just play along.  Sure, Tila, you participated in the Bullrun.  Sure.  I totally believe that.

Update:  Oh look, Tila did the Bullrun in 2007!  Check out this blog, written by her driving partner.  Notice how every time Tila is brought up, it's about how she fucks up?  And there's that lovely bit here:

I let Tila do most of the driving today and I got to teach her how to down shift and use the emergency brake when she’s afraid of rolling forward.

Professional race car driver!  Uh huh.  Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled snark.

Sigh.

Anyway, while "shopping" *snicker* she posted many twitpics such as this one:

Then she tweeted that she couldn't make up her mind, and that she wanted to see more colors or something.  Yeah, THAT'S believable.

You know what?  I'm just going to let the guys at TMZ take care of this one.  They sum it up pretty well.


Thanks boys!

Sincerely yours from a blog that got "shut down,"
Uncle Eddie

So Tila is STILL running her mouth over the fact that we "got shut down."  Except I'm making this post right now, so...shut down?  YOU SURE ABOUT THAT, GUTTER TROLL?


OMG NOW WE HAVE NOTHING GUYS.  Whatever will we do!?  OMG SOB SOB SOB.


WE GOT TAKEN DOWN GUYS.  The cyber police backtraced us and we faced the consequences, which will never be the same!  WE DUN GOOFED. 


LOL I could seriously fucking pee my pants.  Tila, your bitch ass is going to have to buy me more fatty girl pants in a minute.  You've been saying FOREVER that you know who's running this...
THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING SO HARD TO FIND OUT HERE:

OMG YOU FOUND ME TILA.  I'm the "leader" and my name is Chandall!  YOU GOT ME!  And, you fucking cuntstain, you know this isn't the only one I have.  Why are you this stupid?  WHY!?  How have you lived to be almost 30 with the brain power of a 3 year old?

One of life's great mysteries, man.

Anyway, Princess Dumbass (it's been a hot minute since I called you that!  Aww, Eddie's getting all nostalgic up in here!), we look forward to you DROPPING A BOMB on us.  We really do.  Don't forget, your lawyers couldn't shut us up with a C&D, and we're obviously still here!  I'm sorry you don't know the difference between "locked down" and "shut down."  Someone even showed you this:
And you STILL aren't smart enough to figure it out!  That's okay, because we're all just sitting here laughing our fat hater asses off at you.  Keep 'em coming, sweetheart.  And I'll keep posting on it.

Oh, and good luck with the Lambo shopping!  *snicker*

Sincerely yours from a "shut down" blog,
Chandall
The "leader" of the Resistance, apparently

HEY ROTSPOTTERS!  So as many of you know, this little ol' blog was on lock for a little while.  Obviously we weren't "down," as many people thought.  Let's just say we all needed a break.  But we're back!  Unlocked and better than ever!


Here's a screen shot of Tila being overjoyed that we were "down."  Oh, silly Tila!  You should know better than to trust internet trolls!

HAHAHAHA SUCK IT BITCHES, WE'RE BACK!

<3