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Tuesday, August 17

postheadericon Dear Alan Gutman

Please scroll down to see updates 1 and 2 if you've already read this post!

Let me introduce myself, I am Fatty. Let me introduce you to your client, Tila the lying-face whore Tequila. Oh, you know her already? Ummm. I don't think so. If you did, you'd be laughing in her face right now. Let me play Perry Mason for you:

Let's take a look at the first media account of the event. This is from TMZ, and is a direct quote from Tila. Tila gave TMZ a very detailed account of what happened, saying: 
"I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the sh*t out of the port-0-potty and threw sh*t and piss at me when I was onstage."

She went on to say: "These people were trying to kill me.  So then after the last blow to my head with the firecracker they threw at me exploded, my bodygaurd and the other security grabbed 
me and ran as fast as they could to the shitty trailor.  Since their security SUCKS, the 2 thousand people ran after us, trying to kill me.  They almost got me so they finally reach the trailor, blood all over myself, cant stop bleeding, then all of a sudden, all 2 thousand people surround the trailor and busts the windows!!!  Even the guys INSIDE with me were shaking!  Their hands were shaking cuz they were so scared!  So 3 guys inside the trailor had to grab a table and push it over the broken windows and grabbed all the chairs they could find so hold the people from outside back.  It was scary as hell!"

Police confirm they responded to the scene, but couldn't go into detail, citing HIPAA laws.

Ok, let's break this down, cause that's how us Rotspot girls roll!
I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open,
Well that's a nice little set up to the action. She says immediately before she even got on stage, guys were throwing huge stone rocks in her face and beer bottles that slit her eye open. This happened before she even got on stage. If this happened before she even got onstage, why the hell did she continue to the stage? Wasn't that warning enough that she was in a very dangerous situation?

I guess not, because she then claims as soon as she got onstage:
almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the sh*t out of the port-0-potty and threw sh*t and piss at me when I was onstage.
So, not only has she been attacked violently before going onstage, within moments of her getting onstage, she is attacked even further to the extent that her hair is almost caught on fire and she's covered in human excrement and urine. Again, I ask, why did she hang around in what appears to be a very dangerous situation?

Was that enough to turn her away? Within moments she's been hit in the face with large stone rocks, a beer bottle that slashed her eye open, her hair almost aflame and human excrement and urine drenching her. No. It wasn't enough. 

But then we see live video, that appears to occur after the incidents outlined above, because we are not privy to those alleged attacks. We see Tila onstage, with 4-5 very large men deflecting what appears to be water bottles, empty cans and other lightweight debris. We also see your client swearing and yelling at the audience, taunting them and daring them to 'bring it on'. The security detail appears to be doing a fine job of keeping Tila protected, while she caterwauls behind them, throwing out gang signs and inciting the crowd to riot. Yes, Mr. Gutman, your client is clearly inciting this crowd to riot.

The crowd continues with their heckling and debris throwing, clearly telling your client that she is not welcome onstage. All the while, your client continues with her antics. From my vantage point, it appears both are equally culpable. 

Then your client does something inexplicable. In front of this ravenous crowd, these murderous monsters, as she describes them, this vulnerable, terrified, innocent tiny little woman removes her shirt, baring her breasts, and continues caterwauling and inciting the crowd.

Since their security SUCKS, the 2 thousand people ran after us, trying to kill me. 
This is a very interesting sentence for several reasons. One, this is Tila writing to TMZ, not TMZ talking to her on the phone. Why is that important, well because Tila obviously knows the folks at TMZ, and called them only a couple weeks ago to have them film her leasing a Lamborghini, so why not call and talk, rather than write your incoherent account? Well, because it's a lot easier to tell your story your way if you just write it out and send it in. That way, the reporter can't question your version of the events, they have to take what you wrote and run with that. It also means, that before she went to the hospital to have these "gory and gruesome" wounds "stitched up", she took the time to get on a computer and write out her story. Was she at home when she did this, instead of at the hospital? I think so.

There were several hundred people watching her event, not 2 thousand. The video panning the audience clearly shows several hundred people, and police reports mention 800. Not only does it appear that not everyone was involved in the debris tossing, but certainly not all those people would give chase. Most simply didn't care or were too stoned/drunk to react.
blood all over myself, cant stop bleeding,
Nice, dramatic statement. But not true. The only injuries she had were two very small cuts to her face, one below her right eye, the other a scratch above her left eyebrow. Hardly an "eye slashed open" as she stated earlier in her narrative, and certainly nothing one would expect to bleed so profusely that blood would be everywhere and unable to be stopped, unless she's a hemophiliac (hurry look it up Tila, it will make a great addition to your next conflicting account of the events!).

So 3 guys inside the trailor had to grab a table and push it over the broken windows and grabbed all the chairs they could find so hold the people from outside back.  It was scary as hell!
Two thousand people storm a "shitty trailor" and a couple of chairs and a table hold them back and keep them at bay? Oh, and exactly how many chairs were in that trailer? I mean the security grabbed all the chairs they could find, so that tells there were a lot of chairs in a bitsy little trailer that already contained at least 4 people.

Well, let's look at the aftermath, image courtesy of Village Voice:

Shall we count the stone rocks in the photo? Oh, and let's not forget the beer bottles, and all that human excrement that she claims in later reports to have "tripped over". Oh wait, we can't count those things, because even moments after the carnage, those items are mysteriously missing from the crime scene. We do see poor dented head Chunks (wave hi to Chunks everyone!). We see a dildo. We see maybe 3 dozen empty water bottles (yeah, I kinda counted), a dozen or so empty cans, a few empty soda bottles, several paper cups, a plastic egg carton, a styrofoam mannequin head, paper plates, silly string (which Tila claims to have brought and discharged on the crowd), a water melon and some miscellaneous paper and plastic bags....and well I don't see any excrement at all. I see no stone rocks. No burnt out fire crackers (though I'm sure there were some, just not the conflagration Tila claims), no glass bottles of any kind, no broken glass (which one would expect from all those glass bottles).

Now look at the folks gathered around the stage, with their bare arms on the stage. A stage that was just pelted with urine and feces would not have people so casually resting their body parts against it. This appears to be the lower stage, where most of the debris ended up (remember the body guards were deflecting the majority of the debris with their bodies and forearms). This would also be the likely area that would have the most shit-bomb shrapnel, not only the stage, but those folks up front. I see nary a poo in sight.

Update 1 : I forgot to add a little something about porta potties. Now I'm no porta potty aficionado, and I'll have to depend on all you porta potty buffs out there to correct me if I'm wrong, but the one distinctive feature I've found in all porta potties is the  bright blue water. Ironically, it could be called Tila Lambo blue water. The thing with the blue water is that I've never been in a porta potty that did not have this novelty. It's put there as a disinfectant and to aid the breakdown of the poo and stuff (this is where you buffs need to come in!). Anyway, a person scooping out a poo from a portapotty would have not only have a handful of blue liquid-saturated poo in hand, but a handful of wet, blue stained toilet paper as well (unless they took the time to unwrap their poo). Now that blue stuff is pretty bright and if a handful of porta potty poo was appropriated and flung on Tila, there would be a definite blue spray pattern on the stage, on the people closest to the stage, and on any items on the stage, along with the lumps of blue stained toilet paper and blue poo. But we see none of that. There are white cups and paper plates. No blue. No poo. There's Chunks laying with his little dented head in the center of the stage. No blue. No poo. So, where's all the blue? Where's all the poo? Doesn't add up does it? That my friends is your smoking gun. If the poo aint blue, the bitch can't sue! (Johnny Cochran just wiped a tear from his eye. I know he's dead. Jeez, tough crowd!)

Mr. Gutman, can you please show the jury those items that are capable of "murdering" Tila? I admit, a water bottle to the face hurts, and may even give you a small cut if the lip hits you. But for the most part, there's nothing there that one could argue was a deadly weapon or capable of fatal injuries.

This last statement confuses me:
Police confirm they responded to the scene, but couldn't go into detail, citing HIPAA laws.
This is obviously TMZ writing at this point, telling us they confirmed the police responded to the scene, but since when do police actions come under HIPAA laws? HIPAA laws are in place to protect your private health/medical information. HIPAA  shouldn't be a factor in a criminal case such as this. Unless....someone decided to have a hysterical fit and the police were called for a welfare check, and not a criminal ocurrence. This might also explain why the police took no pictures of her injuries when they saw her. They weren't there for the criminal side of it, they were there because Tila was likely doing what she does best, creating a dramatic scene hoping for media attention. When she didn't get the media attention from that, she called the police a few hours later (reports all over the internet say she called at 8:00 that morning, 3-4 hours after the incident) to file a criminal complaint. At that time they asked her to come in to take pictures, and she declined.

Mr. Gutman this is just one piece of the evidence your client has provided. I tore your clients story apart, and all I had to work with was one written account, one video and one photo. Imagine what I could do with all her "witnesses".

Oh, and sir, can you kindly explain to Tila what the term, volenti non fit injuria or assumption of risk means. For those not familiar with the term, it means that if you put yourself in a situation where you've been warned of the risks, you've acknowledged those risks, and yet you continue to put yourself in harm's way and expose yourself to those risks, that the defense to your action can ask that your claims against them be diminished by the percentage you're responsible. In other words, Steve-O of Jackass fame, could be killed in the filming of one of his stunts and his family would have no recourse, because he volunteered to do the stunts, knowing the risk of death or catastrophic injury was high. His family would only collect if they could prove the production company was negligent. That would be a tough sell in front of a judge and jury.

Update 2: I'm listening to the TMZ Live show from August 16. I hadn't listened prior to this post, but Harvey does bring up the question of "assumption of risk" and he said that doctrine would not apply, but that breach of contract would. He did not expand on that, but I'll assume he's right.

In conclusion, Mr. Gutman, your client is a lying skank. She is using this event to manipulate viewers and readers in hopes of keeping her name alive until her porn flick comes out. Oh, wait, shhhhh, there's no porn flick, heh.


Aussie Mum said...

Love it fatty, good story, I always enjoy them. Tila is a stupid skank, can't stand her.

Unknown said...

How would someone "throw" piss anyway Tila? Jesus this skanky hogul is such a liar. I am glad that the watermelon made it to the stage, I hoped and prayed. I can imagine she'll blame the organisers for not being protected enough so I wonder if this'll get legal.

Jennifer said...

Brava! Brava! :) Yay Fatty for spelling it out and breaking it down! Wonderful conclusion to the most recent FAIL! Guess things didn't quite work out the way you thought it would, huh, Tila?

Bedazzle THIS said...

Fatty For President.

That is all.

Jes said...

Thank you, Fatty. I love you!

Alabama Worley said...

This was actually the first thing I read when I awoke. Bravo!

When did we get her lovely atty's full name? She has zero case because she signed a liability clause when she came for insurance purposes. Regardless of the venue there has to be insurance because ICP does not own this land and they rent it for the event. They have to purchase different insurance for both the audience, equipment and those that preform.

She taunted the crowd

Was nudity allowed? (I know that it happens but is it ALLOWED?) IL has some very strange nudity laws and more so if have liquor being sold or food. Look it up if you're bored. She did get nude, and she was an entertainer there for I believe that law affects her. Just a thought.

The entire Hippa thing is strange and honestly she would have been treated very well at the ER near and the police station. This isn't LA around there and it's a small town with a mentality to help people in need. I'm sure they would have been very helpful. I grew up in a small town and that's the one thing I miss is the genuine medical care of a small town. We don't get that in large cities unless you have a lot of money or time to research.

For her to get on a plane with severe injuries would go against a flight regulation correct? I mean they've turned people away for intoxication so I could see them turning someone away for a bloody face. There are nurse stations at airports and she did NOT fly out of Chicago. Can I just state this because unless this skag proves she flew 300 miles away from the venue and was driven IN then she flew into the nearest small airport (no shame). I wish she'd leave Chicago out of this.

I believe she was hit (she was covering her face) but I think she did a lot of the damage herself and was fucked up so she waited till she got to LA to be seen and treated for both the drugs (her DR) and the publicity. Also maybe the Hippa comes in because they arrived and she had a tiny laceration but was intoxicated (drugs etc) and declined to be seen? I don't know that's fucking weird. I've never ever heard of anything like that. And in IL we have strict holds on people that do bodily injury. It's 7 days.

Kungfukitten said...

In all fairness, there is an unopened can of Faygo or Dr. Pepper on the stage next to the dildo. That would hurt if you caught it with your face. You know, in most portapotties the poop is usually way down there isn't it? It seems like scooping it out would be quite a disgusting endeavor. I do feel sorry for the security guards who stood in front of her and got pelted with the majority of the crap (no pun intended).

Jen said...

Did you guys see the video from the Tom Green website? You see everything so clearly & wonkytits taking off her top.... It's incredible. Fucking skank is crying that she got hurt yet she walked around stage half naked egging them all on. Twat got what she deserved.

Ben said...

I bet her lawyer gives her a call after each interview saying "shut up" you're ruining your case to which she responds "but they're paying me!!!".

For someone to state that they were aware of the danger and had been warned by 3 different people prior to being assaulted before even getting on the stage, then getting on the stage and shouting "I ain't going no where" doesn't make a strong case of a woman afraid for her life.

Of course, neither does not filing a proper police report as well as selling pictures of your injuries before going to the hospital.

BigPoppaPhat said...

I scratched my head about the cops and the HIPAA thing, I thought that was about medical records and patient privacy, I dont think it would apply to someone commenting about a couple of scratches on the face (I wouldnt even consider that laceration) a band-aid could fix. IMHO Im sure that quote was fictional.

Unknown said...

In case no one has told you yet, Egotastic has photos of Tila on stage at the Gathering...all smiles with a bruise on her side already, oh and topless (in front of an "All Ages" crowd no less)

Since there is no "contact us" this is the only way I could see to let you know.

(moderator please do not publish this comment)

boytoy said...

fatty u should become a lawyer.

Sandra said...

Brilliant post Fatty, I'd give you some HoHo's but i don't think we have them here in in Australia, I'll send you some Tim Tams.

We should send some links to these posts to the Juggalos crowd, she's totally bagging them on her flog saying they all gang rape their women and stuff, I'd like to see them commenting. Some actually are commenting on her site. I am evil, but i'd like to stir them up a bit so the ones that do feel sorry for her can see she's lying and exaggerating this as well. She wants a war, lets see how well her "army" of kids protects her from an onslaught of angry Juggalos on the web....

I Love Rot Spot.

MsWonkyTits said...

Fatty, your posts have a way of making me pee my pants. I'm not kidding. Bravo. The blue poo take was not only hilarious, but a great thought! You are so right.

Anonymous said...

On her blog right now, she says that many articles are showing support for her. She specifically references The Village Voice article that the stage trash pictures came from. I re-read it in case I missed the supportive part she is referring to and had forgotten it, but on my review it only just states the facts from an eyewitness account. The closest to a supporting statement is 'things got pretty ugly.' She takes the spin to call this support for her???

I'm also thinking it is a ridiculously stupid move to say the outcome of this is she wants to end the gathering. Why exactly? It didn't work for her but has been going for 11 years now and has many fans. Does she really want to take this stance? She's opening herself to a good few years of problems from the more vengeful Juggalo cohort. And what happens next time she performs at a non-Juggalo event? I'm thinking the precedent has now been set to pelt her. She needs to pipe down, but never will.

I am still waiting for photos of the biggest bruise she received. To her ego.