Blog Archive

Monday, August 23

postheadericon Tila's Fail Blog Takes a Turn


So I woke up this morning to news that Tila's fail blog had finally dethroned Perez Hilton!  Wait, what's that?  Oh, my bad guys.  What I mean to say is that Tila's fail blog was running away with it's tail between it's legs!  That's right, Rotspotters.  Tila has given up the Celebrity Gossip trade!


Let me break this down for you, Uncle Eddie style.

First screen cap: Wow Tila, that's an OLD ASS picture of you.  But of course it is.  You know just as well as we do, Tila, that you presently look like something the cat dragged in.  Whoring and drugs will do that to you.  And whoever published this picture is really working overtime on the smoothing brush.  Goddamn.

She continues on that her readers just aren't interested in celebrity gossip, and that it bores the hell out of her to write about it.  Yes, Tila, that seems like an excellent career path to me, especially when you "knew NOTHING about Pop Culture."  Do I believe this?  My answer is: HELL TO THE NO!!!!!!  (See what I did there?)  And neither should you.  I believe Tila's just realizing that her blog is complete and utter fail, so in true Tila fashion, she "never liked doing it, anyway."  Right.  But I love how she goes from having "A staff member" to "tons of different staff members" in the same paragraph.  Jesus Christ, Tila. 

So she lays it out for us. 
I am going to change the ENTIRE dynamic, direction, and content of my website to target what the demographic of my reader’s seem to like! So from now on, my website’s content will be dedicated to all the “REAL” people out there and not about all the worthless celebrity news. I want to dedicate my website to all the people out there who work their asses off trying to make it in this industry. Whether you’re an upcoming Musician, Model, aspiring Actor, or for all of the people who email me for advice. I am making the changes to my website due to the high demand of what my reader’s want. I get SO many emails from people asking me for advice, or if I can help them promote their charities, music, modeling, acting, etc, etc, etc. So this is why I have decided to change the direction of my website.
God, you guys, this bitch is a real humanitarian!  She just wants to help people!

I think my favorite part of this whole thing is when she talks about the Universe guiding her to the right place.  Yeah, Tila?  Did the Universe guide you to the GOTJ?  Did the universe tell you to keep "performing" (I use that term loosely) when you were getting pelted with "poop and pee?"  When your previous face meet was exposed?  If so, I think the Universe is on our side.  High five, Universe!

Oh, then she lays it on the line.  The posts that get the most hits are the ones about her, like her dumbass "the Others" entries and her Dear Diaries.  Oh!  So what you're saying, Tila, is that your site is going to be mostly about you!  Because I've only seen you post a handful of "helping the little guy" posts, but TONS of posts are totally up your own ass! 

Hang on, I'll let you get over the shock and awe of Tila changing her fail blog to be only about her.  Deep breaths, everybody.

And really, she's so far up her own ass that even the "helping the little guy" posts she's claiming to focus on now are still all about her.  She's SO awesome, ask her for advice!  Don't go through a legit agency, send your applications to Tila!  I just vomited twice and died.

And yes, she's still going to blog about celebrity gossip.  But, ACCORDING TO TILA:
  • Only if she finds it interesting for her and her readers
  • Only if it's SUPER DUPER SCANDALOUS AND BREAKING NEWS
What, like this?

Yeah, I went to that post.  It's posted by "Tila Staff" and completely ripped off from The Hollywood Reporter.  So when Tila said "I'm going to change the ENTIRE dynamic, direction, and content of my website," she apparently didn't inform Tila Staff...or maybe this was super interesting and scandalous/breaking news?  I guess I'm just an asshole then, because I couldn't give a fuck how much The Situation earned this year.

I think this is the closest we're going to get to Tila admitting failure.  Soak it in, boys.  Is this just a ploy to get people to cover her useless bullshit more often?  To get Tila more attention?  OMG no, why ever would you think that!?

19 comments:

Fatty McFatterson said...

Pushes 'delete' on same story I was just writing! lol.

Hey, who else is concerned that Tila's request for modeling pictures is her perverted way of getting porn online? I wonder how many of her underage army will think that they have to emulate those porn models to get Tila's attention.

Stupid perverted skankzilla.

Jubilee said...

Wow, didn't see this one coming. LULZ JK, of course we did. Don't forget guys, she's always 'four steps ahead' of everyone else. Yeah, okay, that four steps ahead did you a whole lot of good when you got faygo and piss thrown at you, idiot.

Joann said...

You're right Eddie, the skank will never actually say the words "I failed" if her life depended on it.

I was LMAO when Tila said "I have started a new feature on my website to help promote upcoming models as well as upcoming Musicians to help them get more exposure and free press!"

Free exposure and free press...hello... no one in mainstream media reads that piece of crap blog and "haters" read it only to blast her for saying something stupid she wrote on it....soooooo....someone tell me how this will actually help upcoming musicians and models get exposure and free press?

And speaking of models...you are correct Fatty...the only modeling Tila did was "adult" modeling for mens magazines and such.

You can take a look at her "Hottie of the Week" to get an idea of what type of "models" she will be promoting on her "new", but still piece of crap, blog.

I can see it now....her whole "new" site will be nothing more but hip-hop mixed in with soft porn pictures of Tila and her "Hotties" and more "insightful" articles from the mind of a sociopath....her.

I know she got the whole "that's why I quit Season 3 of A Shot of Love, etc, etc" from reading this site because I happen to mention that in a comment yesterday.

She steals a lot of other people's comments from this site and incorporate them into her blog but since she can't produce an original thought in her own bobble head she has no choice. She also knows we can't prove it so she could care less.

Did we have a poll on how long her Celebrity Gossip site would last?

jayden said...

Dear Tila,
The reason no one comes to your site to read gossip is that you're an illiterate toad who steals everything from other sites. Extreme fail.

And the reason your posts about yourself have some traffic is because people are going there to make fun of you. You're simply the punchline to a sad old joke.

You fail at life and in everything you do.

Prof. Chaos said...

I wonder if that means that she'll change the tag line "OMG of all Media" to "OMG all of Me."

I'm actually jealous of Tila. Jealous of that fact that her delusions are so pronounced that she actually believes her own bullshit. That would be a superduper effective way to handle life.

Stupid Slunt.

Prof. Chaos said...

oops. Left out a word. That should read "OMG all of me, duh".

deluwiel said...

so then... nothing is really gonna change, right? The stupid flog was 75% about her anyway. Now she'll just tuck a few posts in about her fans. And could she pleeeease pick up a 3rd grade grammar book and study up on the use of apostrophes. please? "reader's", "picture's"... "whimper"
Also, I read it as she's saying she had one staff member who is her 'secret weapon' getting the exclusives from the courthouse (?)... apparently the rest of the tons of staff members are just sitting around the make-believe office waiting for this one guy to hustle back with a story.

Look at it this way - there's going to be that many more posts showcasing the stupid for Rotspot to mock! Bring on the lolz!

Jon and Liz Edmunds said...

God I am halfway tempted to ask Tila some advice. I am wondering if it would be something my mom would give me or something my ex's mom would give me after she downed a couple of fifths of vodka. Hmm...maybe I will just have to wait for Gods Angel (is that how she put it?) to come and give me my righteous question.lol.

Barbara said...

I loved the part where she talks about how if she finds them good enough, she'll post the personal stories of people who write in looking to get back at someone who did them wrong (or something to that effect).

She has delusions of becoming something of a budget Jerry Springer too.

And that Mindy person she has up as her hottie of the week or whatever she's calling it is freaking fugly. I don't know how she continues to get away with her spiel of "promoting" anything.

Sheriff Gauncent said...

Dearest Tilaskank,

I have a problem in my life I'm trying to examine and make the best choice. You have so much experience in life, that's why I turn to you for help. So here is my dilemma...What do you think would be a better idea, chop my dick off before or after I shove a hot poker up my ass?

Sincerely,
Sheriff Gauncent.

Oh people, the possibilities of asking her for advice or endless.

Hannah said...

I'm getting huge amusement from her music feature. Gotta love how promoting these girls means posting a link to their myspace and giving them shitty advice to learn how to play some instruments. Wow, Tila! I'm sure they haven't thought of that one. The only music featured in the whole post is her own. Also, where is Rob again? August is almost over and he's still not in America. What a shock!

Isis said...

Oh sweet Jesus on the cross Tila STOP BITING OFF OF MY IDEAS!!! YOU ARE A MEDIOCRE COPY OF MY GENIUS.

Now all of a sudden she's so proud she's indie????????

*facepalm*

If she was a zinester maybe I'll forgive her a tad. But just a tad. If she's a secret fan of my own work then hell I'm not a hypocrite, I treat all my fans well even the ones I can't stand as a person. And if she's been a fan since friendster and livejournal then she's a hardcore fan of mine and sorry guys, a part of me has to respect that about her.

That doesn't give you a "get out of jail free" card for exploiting and grooming minors and young adults to only want to be a car model or porn star, Thien. Not you or pussyboy Joe Francis or any like-minded individuals. Yes I love porn women and suicide girls, but I'm 27. That can be my prerogative if I want it to be.

Ben said...

To use his own twitter name "whatsrobdoing"? Early this month he was supposed to be in LA in a couple of weeks. This is Tila so a couple of weeks for her is probably 2 months, I don't think she could be on time for a sneeze.

Hope said...

Hey Tila Ya hear that??? That is the sound of Perez laughing his ass off!! Your Fail Boat has arrived!

Jes said...

Ha! Of course she won't admit she's an epic fail. What a fucking loser! And on a side note, sitch's 5 mil earnings was from tmz. I felt like jumping out that window, too.

Tuesday said...

What's funny is, she didn't even have to make this announcement. That's what the blog is now.

I still don't understand all this crap about her hiring "paps" is about? She uses photos from other websites. The only original photos she has are the ones of her when she was 18 or 19.

Nother said...

It's going to revert back to being the Hotspot: all Tila, all the time (as opposed to all Tila most of the time as it is now). Blogging about herself in streams of consciousness requires SOOO much less actual work.

livvey said...

Kind of going along with what Nother said..

So she closes the HotSpot and opens the OMG of all failure then decides to turn it into the HotSpot. That's sure some genius there.

Alia said...

I want to contribute to the resistance: http://www.diggintochina.com/2010/09/open-letter-to-tila-tequila.html

There was an error in this gadget