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Monday, August 16

postheadericon Guest Post: Sailor Vesta


Photo Credit:  Village Voice


Sailor Vesta has been around since the beginning of Rotspot and when we found out she was headed to the GOTJ we were ecstatic!!  And now all of you twits know why!  We have our very own inside experience on the situation.  Enjoy!

So after a long day of running around and getting amped up for the night to come, it's finally about two in the morning.  The ever so lovable Tilamonster is scheduled to go on stage at 2:40 am on the second stage.  I go back up to my campsite, get my eggs and chunks my baby ready and start my trek down the hill.

I get down there and make my way through the crowd with one of my two dozen eggs and my baby doll under my arm.  I start handing out my eggs to random ninjas who'd love to throw an egg at Tila Tequila.

I mean, come on, who wouldn't.  Now, mind you, I'm throwing eggs.  Someone behind me has a dildo in his pocket, I've been hearing about shit bagging and piss filled water balloons for weeks.  I just read TMZ and read about the watermelon, so obviously, I was pretty fucking tame.

So, time keeps ticking by.  Security keeps making their rounds and it's about 3-3:30 am and security starts pulling people out of the crowd.  Security literally flashes the light in my face and apparently some dude behind me was pointing me out trying to say I was the one with some heavy ammo.  I kept an egg, dropped the rest down and made sure I didn't get caught.

We're all still waiting and we have figured she wasn't showing up at all, it's about four in the morning at this point.  We thought "Okay, we scared her, she's just gonna pussy out."

A black town car rolls up one golf cart of security in front of it.  I, along with a couple hundred of other people gather around the car.  We all start chanting "Tila" to try to coax her out of the car. It eventually works, and her little alien self emerges like a little timid child.  It's quite clear she's scared out of her mind as she should be.

She gets escorted into the trailer and a bunch of other golf carts come riding up to the trailer.  We were wondering if it was to get her out of her contract cause that's what it looked like.

She finally comes out and she comes on stage and she decides to open with "I'll Kick Everybody's Ass In The Room" which was probably the worst idea ever.  The normal Faygo bottles and water bottles were getting thrown and getting swatted by her two security guards.  She tried to say "I love you Juggalos!"  But obviously the feeling wasn't mutual.

Two or three "songs" in (I say that, because she was lip-syncing...her mic was only loud enough for when she was talking shit) she starts getting hit and actually picks up a bottle and throws it back.  She starts screaming "Fuck you guys!  I'm not going anywhere!  Fuck you!"  Wrong thing to say!

People are getting more and more pissed, they are throwing anything they can get their hands on.  She's talking more and more shit and more security guards are getting on stage.

Now, my personal favorite part is when I look over and see Twiztid and ICP drive up to see the trainwreck in action.  Second favorite part?  Tom Green running over after finishing his set to try and diffuse the situation by jumping on stage and dancing.

Now, back to her being a complete idiot.  She keeps trying to perform...she then RIPS HER TOP OFF LIKE AN IDIOT and a guy bum rushes the stage.  At this point, there were eight huge dudes on stage.  Noweverything is being thrown.  Trash, rocks, bottles.  She's now "rapping" with this scarf thing over her face so we know she got hit with something.  Next thing we know, we all see her get pelted, and she gets grabbed by security and rushed off stage and back to the trailer.  I swear, you would have thought she was one of the Beatles or something.

Now that she's in her trailer, everyone starts gathering around it again.  I look behind me, people are on second stage smashing chairs and throwing trash cans.  I heard a smash...I turn around and they were smashing up the town car she drove in on and they were circling the trailer.  That's when I decided it was a good idea to leave.

When the videos go up I'm sure you'll hear me screaming things like "get the fuck of" or "you stupid fucking cunt" and things of that nature.

But that is exactly what happened.  Bitch was two hours late, she instigated the fight, and she got hurt.  

The End!





30 comments:

Eduardo Retardo said...

This makes me feel all warm and fuzzy in my bathing suit areas. I would let Sailor Vesta stranger-danger me any day!

Latifah said...

LMAO. This was a great story =] =]

MightyMidget said...

So it's safe to say she didn't kick anyones ass in the room? I'm so sick of Tilas lies.

Sandy said...

LOL @ Chunks my baby! Brilliant and I love you.

Glibby Longstocking said...

*...and the clouds part, sun is shining, the angels sing*


Best first hand account I have read thus far and the most satisfying to boot. Thanks for the entry=)

Wykid Hyjinx said...

I would like someone to read this story to me at bed time, every night, so I can drift off to sleep with visions of wonky tits being pelted in her alien head :)

Hope said...

Sailor Vesta you are the fucking BOMB! Bringing Chunks was brilliant. I can't wait to see video. Mad props to ya!

Prof. Chaos said...

I find the whole Sailor story and pics very disturbing. I mean, really ... who throws away a perfectly good dildo??

RC3199 said...

CHUNKS IS IN THE HOUSE!!!

Here is some more fun kiddies:

Just watched TMZ on TV .

They were all making fun of Tila.

Videos were shown from The Gathering and her arrival home (complete with fake tears) at the airport.

One person said: “I hate Tila so much that if she were here right now I would throw a rock at her”

They then switched to another story that involved someone stepping in dog shit in NYC.

Harvey says: “I hate when that happens. In NYC aren’t you supposed to pick up your dog’s poop?”

One of the other staff members replied: “No, you are supposed to throw it at Tila Tequila…”

Scene ends with entire staff from TMZ laughing their asses off at the Midget Hoguls plight…

Ouch, Major Burn…..

Fatty McFatterson said...

You know what I love best? I mean LOVE LOVE LOVE? If you look really closely you can see Chunks has a MAJOR DENT in his head. I mean, that is fucking genius, whether by accident or design, I'm loving SailorVesta and I'm loving dented head Chunks!!!

Tess said...

Thanks for sharing your experience Sailorvesta! I LOVE seeing that Chunks made it on stage!

Yeah TMZ showed no pity for Tila on their TV show tonight. If you get a chance to see it there's lots of lolz!

tillie said...

You guys are the bestest ever. It's like Christmas day lately. Keep up the awesome work and huge Thanks and hugs to you, Sailor. Hope ya had a good time. I have a huge bag of burritos and a pitcher of Margarita for the celebration. Viva la Resistance.

angela said...

*sigh* so sad, my fav dildo ended up on that stage :(

tila is a lying, manipulative gutter slut

grace said...

ok i talked to someone at TMZ they are just fucken tired of her shit they arent going to have stories about anymore unless to make fun of her.they think shes fucken crazy!! they dont want anything to do with her anymore.they just dont what she capable to do to herself to get media attention,i'm a f/x makeup artist. that blood is fake. the moment she started to bleed,you would get something to wipe it.so she would have whats called bloodstain on face with MAYBE some blood running in differnt directions.if she cried and was scared the bloodstain (light)would be all over her face not to mention mascara!!! oh and i seen a pic of her performing with a smile on her face and marks already on her.before she hit the stage she had to sigh a release of liability form,so if she would get harmed they wouldnt be responsible.she wont get shit if she tries to sue.

gillianthemad1013 said...

Throwing the baby doll at Tila was an ingenious idea. The only way it could have gone better is if the baby doll had hit her in the face - and if there were video of that!

Una said...

I am going to enjoy watching her twist this around. Who will she blame for it next? Jane? Garry? 9Head? It sure will be interesting..

grace said...

ok you guys got to read Eonline .com this bitch recounts some of her story and she said that ALOT of people warned her up untill she hit the stage.what a fucken moron! she STILL thinks that shes getting money!! in the interview she says that they asked her to aleast go up on the stage to say hello,ya right ,she doesnt say anything about HER coming on stage talking shit,saying "fuck you bitches" "i aint going nowheer" shes twisted trying to act like a fucken angel.just this week i found this site and found out who tila really was! thanks! i was feeling sorry for this bitch at first.

BKiddo said...

Thanks Sailor! That was wonderful.
Chunks was a brilliant touch!

raunchyb said...

Apparently she ran to E! as well - they posted an article and said that the full interview will run tomorrow. She admitted that she had been warned, and that she noticed the crowd was violent and "went out there just to try and have fun." SMH.

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b195603_tila_tequila_recounts_concert_attack.html

raunchyb said...

Also, she claims her doctor stitched up her face and told her to not go in the sun for a year.

W. T. F.

Seola Uno said...

Loved the firsthand account - the only question I have, lots of people saying she was holding something to her head, was blood seen? Or maybe she smelled piss on her face and was trying to wipe it down since her hair was soaked and protect herself?

Just curious, haven't seen anyone mention they actually saw blood itself.

Seola Uno said...

P.S. The other reason I'm curious, we saw no blood staining on her cheek, hair, etc. she left the trails - if she had been wiping blood off, surely we'd have seen smears since she left her hair, the dirt and all that other crap on her face for dramatic pictures.

tui said...

Seola: my guess is she was covering her face from the stench of feces. :D

Grace: y'know, I doubt she'll actually go through with the lolsuit. She's all talk. And, it would cost her broke-ass. Unfortunately she's learnt that just by threatening lawsuits she gets headlines...

MsWonkyTits said...

I see no bricks or firecrackers on that stage...

Great post! Loving the firsthand account. LOL @ Chunks. That was just perfect.

FUYU said...

HOLY CRAAAP!! I was gone on a family trip while this all went down and I come back home to all the lulz!! Love it!!!!!!!!!

FUYU said...

Forgot to say SailorVesta AWESOME JOB GETTING CHUNKS THERE, and thanks for staying to watch it all unfold!!!!!!

starfish said...

oh this is great hearing a first hand account, and from who? a rotspotter?? wouldn't you think tila would be paranoid, scanning the room, scanning the crowd, wherever she is, because she will never know, a rotspotter, or a jeliz hater, will always be there...

that is funny! chunks the baby!! haha

SammiDe said...

http://twitpic.com/2gdi7k# <<~~ Sailor! I wrote you on twitter before you even got home and was reading a list of all thrown at Tila and was 100% RIGHT when I guessed the exact items you brought! CHUNK SO MADE it, and he dented his poor head on the way up..way to take one for the team CHUNKS! Mad love for you 2 babe! *Giggles*

SailorVesta said...

I miss Chunks. :[

xxheartxyouxx said...

Hello all my favorite jelis haters!! I know this is an old entry, but I was just scanning through TMZ for some info on the GOTJ incident and I remembered this picture of all the debris that was thrown. I noticed you pointed out the watermelon.

Well, hopefully I discovered its origins and juuuuust maybe it's content!

According to a wrestler, Colt Cabana, who was preforming at the GOTJ (odd that they would have a wrestler preforming right?), a security guard informed him that "someone had a watermelon that had been fermenting in urine and feces for two days and that they had been saving it all weekend for Tila. No word if the watermelon connected."

Hopefully, that's the same watermelon in your photo! This would confirm that, that horrible excuse for a human being was indeed pelted with piss and shit!! I can only pray...

TMZ Article:
http://www.tmz.com/2010/08/15/wrestler-witness-tila-used-security-guards-as-human-shield/

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