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Thursday, August 19

postheadericon Who is Tila's new staff writer?

 
A couple of days ago, while Tila was "in bedrest" a new staff blogger was introduced: Miss BigTits. Miss BigTits came out of nowhere, and seems to not only be blogging, but taking care of Tila during her very challenging recovery from two scratches 6 days ago. But who is she? Well let's take a peek at her first blog and find out, shall we?

According to this blog, she and Tila have been besties for many years. Could she be the  Norway or Sweden bestie Tila was supposed to go on the Girl's-Only Weekend with. Oh wait, she took Bradshaw to that. And then last month she claimed she had no friends, that eliminates all the rest of the people. Hmmmm. Who could it be? The writing sounds familiar. If I close my eyes and it's read aloud, it sounds very very Tila. That's silly though, because Tila is asleep while Big Tits cares for her around the clock.

I underlined some quick lolz: the "First of all" used twice (hehehehe I love that shit!), the 2000 people against the 4'11", 95 vulnerable big-titted girl, the proclaimation that Tila is "way too classy" to perform at the Juggalo Gathering....even though she did, so that must make her way unclassy.

You know what stuck out in my mind? The boxed paragraph:
You know I remember another time when I was with her in NYC for her press tour there and she was booked to perform in The Bronx, and her team and people who were “SCARED” of the Bronx told her that she shouldn’t perform in such a “DANGEROUS” place! But guess what? She fucking did it anyway! She’s got more guts and balls than half of you twerps here talking shit about her! You’re all just a bunch of internet gangstas when really, Tila would kick all ya’ll asses in a fucking minute in real life!
I remember this press tour, and I remember her talking about how she's so badass and how her team was so afraid for her life, but she showed them and the Bronx folks gave her mad love. Yeah, Tila's story, was almost verbatim, but this of course, isn't Tila. This is Big Tits, who was with Tila at that time. Hmmmmm. Something doesn't quite fit. As I recall there were three other people on that press tour with Tila. This was the press tour where Tila had the knock-down, drag-out fight with Casa on the airplane. Think, think, think. 

Oh, now I remember! There was Bradshaw. Garry Sun. Tila. and Leo Madrid. Ok.  We know Big Tits is not Tila, because Tila said it's not her, it's her bestie. No other females besides Tila went, which means, BigTits must be a male. It's not Bradshaw because Bradshaw only cares about fashion and if we can't trust him to dress Tila in something appropriate, how can we trust him to string a sentence together? Also, Bradshaw is such a diva he wants full bylines with his name in lights, so its not him. Leo Madrid is out because he and Tila are no longer speaking, so he wouldn't write for her. Well, that leaves Garry Sun. Oh wait, Garry Sun viciously attacked Tila's defenseless arm-meet, sexually harrassed her and was mean and inappropriate to the rest of Tila's staff (personalities). And unlike Big Tits (and Tila) he could string a few words together in a cohesive thought. That's it. Four people on the trip, and all accounted for.

This is a mystery, wrapped in a kerfluffle, stuffed in a slut!

27 comments:

Ben said...

I think it's Tila pretending it's Onyx. They said they've laid on Tila's tits so it has to be either Onyx or BAMFScott. It's his reward for being a good stalker.

Aussie Mum said...

It's tila, we have all been reading her shit long enough to recognise her writing style, and when she is trying to be tough. I have zero doubts that it is her. What a sad pathetic piece of crap.

kosherdish said...

Maybe it's Jane coming back again to take care of Tila after she, er wait, Tila, er wait, Gary got her arm meet to hang out, or whatever the hell? Jane's got big, wonky ones right and talks like that.

Case solved? I feel like I should add liquor to my coffee for even spending five minutes on that theory...

LOLz4EVz said...

it's JANE! Easy Button! :p

Seagal said...

It is DEFINATELY Tila. It has her sig. all over it. No doubt about it.

Hannah said...

I think it's her, just with the way their posts goes on and on and on about how cute and little Tila is. And Tila is the only one who seems to think she's actually that cute.

From her post today about how badass she is:

"I did not want this to happen to me, but I had no choice, and just like when they draft you to go to war, you really don’t want to go, but you don’t have a choice do you?"

Ugh. Stupid bitch. All I have to say.

Joann said...

Ben said...I think it's Tila pretending it's Onyx...LMAO. Too funny.

I'm 99% sure it's Tila pretending to be another one of her fake personalities.

Everything BT said in that post Tila has said the exact same thing at one time or another.

~ * TN Hippy * ~ said...

She's been reading this and now obviously posted two differing opinions about Chelsea Handler hosting the VMA's. One bashes CH the other says shes the funniest woman out there. She's busier than a cat covering up shit in a box trying to back pedal. We know it's you whore goblin Tila. We can smell the shit and piss from here.

glitterypoi said...

yeah too easy, Tila fo sho!
She always writes things in caps like that to EMPHASIZE things! E.G. Miss Tila got HORRIFICALLY beaten up by TEN MILLION Juggalos, she lost TWO PINTS of blood and her face was SPLIT IN TWO.. they actually MURDERED her but as she is an ANGEL of God she only JUST survived!!! ha ha ha ha

Those That Do said...

Just in case crazy deletes the blog ummm big tits whatever she is calling herself first trashed Chelesa Handler then her "STAFF" praises her...

Here is a screenshot of it

http://i38.tinypic.com/2evucxt.png

deluwiel said...

"I did not want this to happen to me, but I had no choice, and just like when they draft you to go to war, you really don’t want to go, but you don’t have a choice do you?"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *gasp* *snort*
Oh. my. god. This is getting better and better. Part of me wishes she would STFU, but another part of me wants her to go on and on, just to see how monumentally stupid she can get.

"Didn't have a choice..." HAHAHAHAHA *sigh*

Is there a lolsuit pending against her management now? cause they must've tied her up, blindfolded and gagged her, threw her into a car and dumped her off at Cave in Rock, hauled her up on the stage, ripped off her top and proceeded to duct tape a microphone to her hand while holding a gun to the back of her head. yeaahhhh... that's how it must've happened...

Sandy said...

Typical Tila writing pattern. Does she really think we're dumb?

Apparently so.

Must be the drugs.

Train In Vain said...

How many times is she going to change the name? It WAS ILoveBigBoobs and before that, a post attributed to The Wierd One magically became a post by said Boobs. Too bad she had to waste so much time interviewing all those people when her bestie was just perfect for the job...

BKiddo said...

Oh, yeah, that's tila. What a louse.
She's shit stupid if she thinks she's fooling anyone other than her army of idiots.

Nother said...

My take is that it's yet another calcuated attempt by Tila to create drama/garner sympathy by convining her Army of Morons that Jane has taken over again. (Note the tell-tale "Tila is sleeping..." part.)

She'll blame it on post-tramatic stress brought on by the horrific and gruesome Juggalo attack. Just like she tried to blame that Ustream striptease on PTSD suffered after the Shaun Merriman "assault."

Joann said...

From Hannah about Tila's post..."I did not want this to happen to me, but I had no choice, and just like when they draft you to go to war, you really don’t want to go, but you don’t have a choice do you?"

You had a choice moron. Violent J gave you a choice. You didn't have to go onstage and you would still get paid.

A person who signs papers to be in the military have a choice also. They don't have to show up when it's their time to go to boot camp but they pay dire consequence.

So don't even equate that bullshit you pulled at the GOTJ and your pending lawsuit with a man/woman not showing up for boot camp.

It's on a whole different level that you would never understand.

Kahvi said...

You know what "both" of them have in common too? They "both" delete negative comments about them.
Because I wrote a comment stating that I didn't think this new writers style of writing seemed very professional and it was deleted. XD

Ben said...

Tila just posted a "liar diary" in which she says some more bullshit lies, but I found it funny that she's going out shopping, it's 90 degrees and perfectly Sunny in Southern CA. Considering she can't go out in the sun for a year, that Dr's orders lasted about a week. The only Dr's orders she followed was when he said "take these for the pain"

Joann said...

@ Ben...I just READ that and WAS LMAO but did you or anyone else catch this.

The moron is talking about going shopping and paying for her friends.

"It’s just fun to buy new stuff and treat myself out for a good time and share with my friends.

When we go shopping, they also pick out stuff but they dont realize that I would pick up their tab until we get to the cash register,(OK GUYS HERE WE GO) and they sales girl always asks “is this seperate?” and I always tell them YES!(YES...BUT SHE'S SHARING???).

But my friends are always like: “oh no Tila you don’t have to do that! I will pay for it!” But there’s no way that I would let my friends pay.(HUH!!!)

Let us pray...for our own sanity.

MsWonkyTits said...

It's 100 percent Tila. Period.

Fatty McFatterson said...

There's no doubt this is Tila and she's so stupid if she thinks she can write all this crap about Chelsea and then claim one of her staff is writing such horrible things. This is Tila 100%!

I have a little secret for y'all on how you can tell. Read the post out loud. The written word, like the spoken word has a rhythm. I've been writing my entire life, I have written whole treatments for different characters. It is very very hard to break into another voice, and play it off, because our tendency is to write in our natural style. When I read this, I could "hear" Tila's voice. She didn't even try to mix it up. The syntax is 100% Tila, the verbage, the style, and the grammar.

shaniqua said...

lol it's clearly Tila trying to be gangsta. This is exactly what she writes like when she's pretending to be Jane.

"You’re all just a bunch of internet gangstas when really, Tila would kick all ya’ll asses in a fucking minute in real life!"

hahahahahahhaahhahahahaha. No, she wouldn't. She'd cower behind bodyguards, run, and then cry about being attacked online. Yeah. Balls.

Also, the "Big Tits" post said that Tila was hard because she stayed and finished her set? Is she pretending she got all the way through it now? You ain't hard for talking shit from a stage, behind a bunch of big bodyguards, you ain't hard for running to a trailer, you ain't hard for calling up the press and taking emo pics about it, and you ain't hard for not sucking it up and admitting what you did wrong, running to sue like you always do. Why didn't she just kick Shawne Merriman's ass, if she's such an ass kicker? Why didn't she beat the shit out of Garry Sun? How did she ever get kidnapped, how did someone lock Onyx up in her trunk, if she's so hard? Predictable bitch. I'd kick her over and she'd cry. And instead of "kicking my ass", she'd whine about it online, do a few interviews, try to gain sympathy, and then it'd be a lawsuit. Wow. So hard. What an asskicker. Balls of steel.

Isis said...

God Tila was probably that "Brooksie" bitch who used to (and probably still does) stalk me on Myspace.

Tess said...

Haha! Fatty ..your post made me go look at her flog ..dammit! It is undeniably Tila! C'mon ..who else but Tila would "hire" a new staff blogger named "Big Tits who writes just like Jane"? OMG ..she's such an idiot!

Reading her "Big Tits" posts gave me an eerie feeling ..with all the gansta badass bullshit. Tila is obviously ecstatic about all the attention she's been getting this week. Hell, she's already parading around Robertson St looking for paparazzi. What's going to happen when the GOTJ spotlight dies out and Tila slides back into irrelevance? It kind of feels like another major mental melt down may be in the horizon.

Kungfukitten said...

You can tell that it's Tila because she doesn't know how to use apostrophes correctly. Whenever she writes a plural noun she puts in an unneeded apostrophe. Example: I have so many stitch's that I have to take lot's of pill's to feel better. Drives me insane!

mememe said...

caroline is back! the classy brit err alter ego/personality.

LeilaTheGoodRat said...

Damn lol
She sounds like a 14 year old white kid pretending to be a thug. This is just terrible. I live in the hood and you would get laughed at so hard for talking like "Big Tits".
I gotta catch up on my Tila drama, this bitch never ceases to amaze me.

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