Thursday, June 10
Stream of Consciousness
12:32 PM | 
Posted by
Eduardo Retardo
Hey, do you guys know what Stream of Consciousness is? Oh that's right, I'm not writing to a bunch of 15 year old angsty high school kids, so you probably do. Okay, well my internets lolyer, who is hopefully keeping my sweet Uncle Eddie ass out of FEDERAL CALIFORNIA PRISON, wrote me a gorgeous stream of consciousness poem today that I want to share with all of you:
I am deep like a well, and so very sexy but my chair come up and I swear that fucker bit me! I have a friend her name is Jane, she cut my arms, I am in pain. You Jellis haterz are all so mean, you try and make me get help and I will Cause A Scene. I just want to put all those pills in my body, but then girls at the RotSpot, they get SO SNOTTY! Just because I met a guy half naked in the store does that really mean, I am a stupid whore? I can rhyme all I want, I think its so clever, I think Im an angel maybe Dr Drew will make me better? I all really want is Perez and TMZ to like me, but because Im a cunt, its not very likely.
Beautiful, ain't it? Do you guys have any stream of consciousness poems you'd like to share? Now's your chance! I want to hear the best you've got, Rotspotters!
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16 comments:
You make me smile. Really.
My blog posts for Zennie will link back to the posts on this blog (rot spot) that may not have gotten the views and recognition that they deserved from outside media sources. Tila NEEDS to be exposed. This is not acceptable what she is doing. I will make sure that every news outlet reads my blog entries somehow, and that yours get read as well.
I got one, I got one!!!!
Rose are red
Violets are blue
Tila is a stupid lying sack of shit-faced, drugged-out psycho-trash
And that's it.
Nice huh?
I was going to..but after reading that I can't stop pissing myself laughing like a lunatic
"just because i met a guy half naked in the store, does that really mean, i am a stupid whore"
Omg i got tears coming out of my eyes, i really am LOL'ing at this. Sorry but I can't come up with anything cos I've had no sleep and i'm delirious and this is just hilarious
Mkay, all this is, honestly, is a rip-off of Uncle Bob's Suck Ass Poetry.
unclebob.diaryland.com
This entry, Uncle Eddie, and Thien's poetry.
You have to go to school in order to be a writer, Thien. Them's the breaks.
And if there's someone else out there, oh, I won't name names, whom maybe, I dunno....is the writer you know you will never be (you hired a ghost writer for your book, after all), do us all a favor, put your big girl panties on, and just accept it.
Because I swear before God Herself, If... you ever, EVER, pull another fake suicide attempt like that again, or anything comparable the next time you feel a temper tantrum coming on....
God bless you. Because She will be the only one left willing to.
Ok, I got one
There once was an alien named Thien
Who would fuck, girls, boys, ponies or men
She would fuck her mother for fame, it's such a shame, she'd fuck a great dane for a line of ambien.
Or how about this
The road to ambien is paved with good hallucinations.
This whore will do anything for the right remuneration
SHe will screech, she will cry, she will attack a chair she will lie
If she'd die we would be a much happier nation.
You've gotta hand it to Tila... If you're gonna go into complete denial, blame others for a situation you've brought upon yourself, and ultimately take no resposibility whatsoever for your own actions, well then, why not do it artistically?
I have to admit though, I kind of liked her poems. I considered them an honest attempt to show people how she was feeling, which is a step in the right direction for her. The poems were extremely misguided and dark, but they seemed to have a note of sincerity.
That was bril Uncle Eddie. Unfortunately for me (fortunately for you) I've no conscience. You see, it's so difficult for me to remember how to spell the word conscience without having to grudgingly resort to conferring with Mr. Webster (and sometimes engaging in a duel of wits) about the proper spelling and pronunciation.
And therefore, my train of thought is so utterly absorbed in trying to convince myself about proper grammar speak that I've forgotten what this post was about.
Since I can't rhyme I have a haiku:
crazy lying bitch
fake suicide evil jane
take another pill
I don't give a fuck what you say, yet I respond to your posts everyday. I google my name day and night then tweet to my army to stand and fight. I lie and lie and lie some more even when po po knock at my door. I'm pregnant, then not, that's what I said, cause the evil chair dented my head. I sign new artists to my fake record label, then sing ... See Moredirty lyrics cause I think I'm able. For my fake charity I ask fans to send money, cause their just so stupid and I think that's funny. I snort Ambien and drink red bull and between you and me I know 9head's my tool. I have what I need to sue for everything, wait what's that a tampon string. In my apartmansion I sit and I blog and hope noone notices that I ate my dog. Reality check? Am I insane? Oh who's there, ah it's just Jane.
Hey, that was fun! I'll have to do that more often.
Sorry Eddie, I got nothing for ya. This is nothing but psycho babble. I did a "faster than a speeding bullet" look see and move on.
That was really good Misty!! LMAO!!
OMG misty that was fucking epic!!!! Nicely done
Yea, you rocked it Misty.
Ooooo! FUN! A project! Hee Hee... OK so it's a rap and you have to sing it to the tune of Tila's "I fucked a DJ"
*whisper:* "Join my cult, Boo"
- My name is Tila and I'm a amb-ien, snorting-fucking bitch who is always caught ly-in'
- I have no one! That's some true shit. I push em all away with my never ending bullshit.
***********************************
Oh my God.... I'm so tired. That took me like 2.5 hours. Man, I have no idea how Tila does it! I mean SHE writes her own lyrics & she choreographs the dancing... I mean... rolling around moves to go with them!!! How does she do them so quickly as she claims? How does she create these masterpieces such as, I fucked a DJ & even throw in a radio version, uniquely called I LOVE my DJ. I mean... isn't it amazing how she can change 2 single words and it becomes 2 ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SONGS????? Wow. How does she..... OH... WAIT A SEC..................... Her music has as much quality as her ugly ass tits.
I love you.
Love
Jonny
There once was a M.I.L.F. who was not.
Pulled a suicide stunt but was caught.
They hauled her away,
to her greatest dismay cos she wasn't as smart as she thought.