Thursday, June 3
Tila Tequila drinking game!
11:58 PM | 
Posted by
Eduardo Retardo
Okay everybody, your faithful writers have been hearing whispers for a while now that Tila is, in fact, leaving for Celebrity Rehab. She finally confirmed it:
Yeah, I'm sure they'll let you blog from there, you fucking retard. Of course, this is after she tweeted she was going to London yesterday:
(Hint: This was just slang for "my other personality, Caroline - you know, the Brit - is coming.")
ANYWAY. This is boring. Who cares. Since the show is going on (since the glorious Shauna Sand decided to grace the show and give Michael K over at DListed a huge hard-on), let's make our own drinking game.
I'm expecting you to post your best ideas in our comments. I'll give you a head start. Take a shot every time she mentions the haters, or the word "jealous." Also, take 3 shots if they show this blog! Oh god you guys, how great would that be.
Yes, I'm advocating you getting drunk and possibly starting a lifelong track of alcoholism while watching a show specifically aimed at watching z-list celebrities getting
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26 comments:
how about you snort an ambien and drink a red bull everytime she changes the subject from someone else to herself.
I suggest everyone do the Glutterslut red carpet roll(mickey mouse gloves are a must) anytime Tila does that annoying meth click when she talks.
Send a request to Mr. Bradshaw to style you for a special night out on the town with your loved one each time she lies to Dr. Drew about her childhood, her near death experiences and her empire.
I doubt there is anyway that she will stay the full 21 days. Besides not being able to get along with the staff, she wont be able to be without the internet that long. There is no internet in rehab and very limited cellphone use. Once Drew starts calling her out on her lies and what-not she wont have the safety of the internet to crawl behind. My guess is she might make it 1 week but not more than 8 days.
I've NEVER seen an episode of Celebrity Rehab, but will be watching CR4 guaranteed. I think 1/2 of the fun will be watching Tila say something one week, and contradict herself the next.
I will however, turn that shit off and burn the TV if Tila starts rubbing up on Shauna. I dry-heaved just typing that sentence.
So what about her blog where she decided NOT to do it. Why did she change her mind?
Didn't she just blog a 3000 word essay about how she was too busy for CR last week?
Here comes Carolyn ...
1 drink if:
-Tila brings drugs in their pocket or suitcase, and they're found during the search on the first day of rehab.
-Tila mentions the pressure of being a mogul.
-she pushes a hand into the camera and screams, "Turn the &@!#@! cameras off!"
-she starts packing.
-a basic conversation about house rules results in something being thrown or a door being kicked.
2 drinks if:
-she tries to sneak drugs in using a very creative method, i.e. stuffing them in a teddy bear.
-she pukes.
-she shows her boobs.
-she hits on another patient (do a shot if it's Shauna Sand).
-she tries to leave rehab "for a few hours" because of a "work commitment."
-she lashes out at another at group for being disrespectful.
-9head shows up.
Drink everything in sight:
-if Shauna Sand slaps her.
2 shots for everytime she tries to get at her phone to tweet out her crap and Shelley has to wrestle it out of her grubby hands.
1 shot for every time she brings up her "army".
1 shot for every time she brings up her "tough childhood"
Oh God, we'll all be drunk by first commercial break.
hahahahahahahaha
I feel sorry for Shelley. Nothing up to now could have possibly prepared her for Tila's vortex o' crazy.
Helloooo? We also need to drink a shot every time she brings up Casey Johnson, cause you KNOW she will.
I have a feeling that if we do this we'll all be needing regular people rehab once the season is over! Anyone live in Houston? We could have Celeb Rehab Game nights!
I doubt she'll use "POW" as much as she does when typing, shit if she does say it I'd probably be laughing to hard to drink anything.
I bet if it doesn't go well for her the first post back will be "it's a bunch of bullshit, I'm going to sue them".
Personally, I can't wait. I just wish Dr Drew would use this as a time to confront her overall behavior and call her out on everything. At least it won't be another Howard Stern interview.
One small shot (trsut me, they'll add up!) every time she's asked a question and she looks to the side while answering it. (one kind of drink when she looks to the right, another kind of drink when she looks to the left) Since it's her "big time return" back to television and she's so sure she's going to be a huge breakout star again, lets throw in a shot for every time she meth smacks her lips as a celebratory gesture to our favorite little gremlin!
This is going to be the bes trainwreck EVER I am so pumped!! I am sure she will have to go INNNN on Dr Drew once she leaves or accuses him of some sort of sexual assault or harrassment. Thank God its pretty much all on camera.
1 shot everytime Tila tells a story about Houston
Vietnam
Being Ambassador
How she got her name
Her Mischairage
2 shots everytime she corrects someone who calls her Tila Tequila to Miss Tila.
Ahhh hell we will be drinking the whole time.
I cant wait to see Dr Drews discerning face as she spews the vile crap out of her mouth.
I'm predicting more baby daddy drama the second she finds out how rich Gummie Bear's grandpappy is.
I wonder if "Dr." Drew ( a loose term) will bring up the fake pregnancies and all the other lies she has told or did she negotiate with her team of lawyers that it is off limits. Plus you know she will bring up Casey and use that as a turning point in her drug use. We all know how Tila will play this out even before she does and it is truly sad. The skank really does need help and this is not the way to go about getting it. Then again we also know she is only doing it to get attention and try to keep herself relevant but like everyone keeps saying "what is this botch actually famous for?". the universe can't even answer that question but this train wreck will bring in ratings since we are all curious how this will play out. The pressures of a rough childhood ands rising to be a "mogul" to the high demand she is in " OMG I just spit out my coffee typing that" is what all led her to the drug use that she backtracked on once she thought the show wasn't going to air. It is sad but should at least be entertaining...when you hit the bottom of the barrel in her case it's easier to keep digging down then to try to climb out...enjoy the B.S......
Eddie! You bastidge! :P You've given me another excuse to drink? I'm surprised I'm not hungover now as I write this. >.<
Oh, well. Can't wait to see how this plays out once we get the rules set to the Tila Drinking Game.
We'll hafta all post on Twitter whilst the shows are being aired and we play the game. This is gonna be full of lolz! <3 you!! *Humps Eddies' leg like a retarded furby*
Now she's claiming her addiction is to prescription pain killers --- opiates. Which is quite different than Ambien abuse. Wonder how long it will take for Thien to admit to the other stuff?
I'm down with all the shot rules, but if they show this blog on CR4, I will run "neked" around the backyard with a party hat on.
oh my gosh this HAS to happen...I will so do a CR4 trainwreck drinking game, prolly when I watch the reruns too....
i think we woul dall die if we drams every time she said haters....
Take a swig out of the whiskey/tequila/vodka/moonshine/everclear bottle if she hints about her lawyers "to which she has" and how she sued all them jelis h8er websites.
WHOOO-HAAA!!!
I think that "database" person is Tila.
i will make sure to get a bottle of some good tequila, in lieu of "miss tila" tila tequila, whatever she is...
i wonder if she has ever watched celeb rehab before. its not the typical reality show, tila...its about getting help and coming to terms with your problems...
I am ALL for this CR4 drinking game. It's my kind of thing, but Uncle Eddie, have you LOST YOUR DAMN MIND??? A WHOLE SHOT for each one of these things? Let's do the math. It's an hour show. Let's say she gets 10 minutes, we are looking at 10 shots in ONE HOUR!!!! I cannot do 1o shots in an hour and live to write about it.... maybe that's just me.
HOWEVER... I CAN do BIG GULPS!!!! and I will.
I will, however, ABSOLUTELY do a shot if her 'guest' for family day is Mr. Bradshaw errr 9head!(I would like to mention here that a few days ago, he tweeted that he was at the Gross Lady's house, er Boss Lady's house, packing. So he must have her all styled up for her rehab....) smh
I don't have any more suggestions, it seems like everyone has pegged her pretty well. No surprise! OH when she says the word 'wifey'.
It is really going to piss me off when she states that she got hooked on pills when Casey died (I will do a shot for that too, I have to be selective!). I hope the Johnson Family has been in touch with Dr. Drew and has convinced him not to allow that crap on the show (like they got her pulled from being on Larry King)
DRINK TIME!!
tizerri
I say 1 shot everytime Dr. Drew calls her out for doing something inappropriate on the show.