- Happy One Month Anniversary WhoreMeat!
- Wow. Just wow.
- Cuntzilla Misses the Point Of Memorial Day
- Innate Ugly=Tila Nguyen
- Fatty: One-eleventy-billion, Tila: big fat ZERO!!!...
- Fail Blog Sinks - Whole New Low
- They're juss JELIS!!
- Tila Continues Giving Advice...Sort Of
- New Stuporgirl!
- Fashion Tip 101
- Could Tila have taken us for a ride?
- A is for ...
- Meet Caroline...
- I put a spell on yoooouu...
- EXCLUSIVE!!! It's Perez's Party, Tila Will Lie If ...
- Tila's Fancy New Reality Show
- Tila's blog is super up to date on gossip!
- Dear Diary, Tila takes a hostage!!
- While we're on dresses ....
- EXCLUSIVE!!!! Tila's Maxim Party Dress STOLEN 2 mo...
- OMG a million views!
- About suing bloggers....
- Yay for Wednesday!
- Perez Hilton Buyout Negotiations?!
- Tila's too stupid to attempt a "Play on Words"
- The Dummies Guide to Speaking Slutinese
- Dear Fatty's Diary
- Exclusive! Which Z-List Celebrity is a Terrible Bl...
- Dating advice or The Makings of a Cheap Porn?
- Oh oh!!! For reals!!! I'm scared!! Hold me Uncle E...
- Oh, it's a very happy Sunday morning in my neighbo...
- Alright Listen Up....
- No Stuporgirl this Wednesday!?!?
- Amber Rose gets burned and the Rotspot gets banned...
- More from Tila's Conga Room Performance
- Lady CaCa
- Kimora Lee Simmons and Tila
- What we know of the Conga Room so far
- Hey Everybody! It's Tila's Anniversary!
- Tila can't be THIS delusional? Can she? She puts t...
- Midget Idjit Tour is a raging success!!!
- Uh oh, somebody's a liar!
- Tila on KTLA
- Here is some random stuff
- Tila's World-Renown Midget Idjit Tour!!!
- Tila's amazing EP! 3 whole songs!
- The World Weeps as Tila Continues to Assault our E...
- Tila loves the Rotspot!
- Finally, something not about the fail blog!
- More people angry at Tila for her fail blog
- Copy and Paste do not a gossip blog make
- Picture Gallery
- Whoo! Crack Rants!
- A is for ...
- Tila doesn't do drugs? I beg to differ!
- "I don't do drugs" ----Pfft Tila, you're a retard
- Tila's blog continues to be a big fat fail...
- More fun with Tila's blog!
- Story Time, Folks!
- New Stuporgirl!
- Media Talent Group: Stephen Dorff
- Let's talk about this "charity" ONE LAST TIME!!!!
- Oh yeah, Perez should be REALLY scared.
- Okay, you wanna talk about sucking dick at 16?
- More Lindsay Lohan stuff
- We loves TheHollywoodGossip.com
- A geography lesson
- ▼ May 2010 (69)
Wednesday, May 19
5:30 AM | Posted by Fatty McFatterson
Dear Diary: YAY! So my non-celebrity the-truth-and-only-the-truth blog is a couple of weeks old. I have never been a celebrity and now I've crossed over to the side of another non-celebrity!!! My blog is the #1 Get Under Tila's Meth-sore Skin blog around! Of course, if I was a REAL celebrity, I wouldn't have time to blog about celebrities, which is why you won't see other celebrities gossip blogging. Well, that, and the fact that celebrities generally have a certain amount of respect for other celebrities, and feel that gossiping about their peers is crass and in poor taste.
Now if you don't like my stale news, you can go to those other hater sites and read their stale news. I give you what I want, and if I tell you there will be contests, and fan blogs, and video of my Russian boxer's interview, and a fashion line and a record label, and hell, whatever else my pea brain can think of, you can be assured, I won't deliver, just as I don't deliver any fresh, or funny, or exclusive or relevant news. Now there are those that say OMG OMG OMG FATTY YOU'RE JUST JELIS OF SO, AND SO" I actually laugh at those comments...and take a big bite of HoHo. I guess you can say I must be pretty jelis of EVERYONE, right? Well, yes, that's right.
So, in closing (even though I have 4 more paragraphs to go) I am not jelis of the person I post about. I am not jelis of any non-celebrity, nor will I ever be. POW!
I got almost one eleventy billion views in one week. Don't go looking at those legit sites like Alexa, they don't know nothing even though they only do this kind of thing for a living, they are not precise and in REAL TIME! My site has this super secret program that give you the stats of my imaginary web site hits, where it's coming from, IP ADDRESSES (oh wait, the IP's were here all along, why did I go spend all the money in the world to my powerful attornies? to which I have). I can DEFINITELY take a screen shot for you and post the stats of my site in REAL TIME! But geez...acting so high school there are you not? Because you know me well enough to know that if I had actual factual evidence to back myself up and totally OWN the haters I would post it, but I'm too much above that you silly billys!
Don't forget our EXCLUSIVES, that no one else has. Just like we were the ones who broke the story FIRST, about Tila lying about her CHAIRity, and her miscCHAIRage (did you see what I did there? That's the mark of a real journalist, reporter, POW blogger mogul!)
Love you guys! keep coming back for more! KAPOW BITCHES!
This just in!
Tila posted a stupid dear diary blog today (which I've spoofed above). I have a little problem with this part:
Here is the PROOF that Tila scooped the Justin Bieber/Miley Cyrus dating story and TMZ and Piggy, reported it the NEXT DAY! Oh, wait, TMZ and Pigsty must have fucked with their time and date stamp...wait, I BETTER GET NAKED AND PROMISE MY ARMY THEY CAN BUTTER MY BREAD OR SOMETHING, this might hurt me!
HOLD ON, I SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST..... this is from Tila's Facebook. She updates her Facebook/Twitter and Stupid Blog pretty much at the same time...so check out the 3 hour later time stamp. THAT 3 HOURS LATER THAN TMZ AND PEREZ!!! HA!!! I OWNED YOU TILA BITCH!!! Fuck you and your fuckity fucking EXCLUSIVES. You didn't scoop anyone you syphilitic cunt-stain!