Wednesday, May 19
Dear Fatty's Diary
5:30 AM | 
Posted by
Fatty McFatterson
Dear Diary: YAY! So my non-celebrity the-truth-and-only-the-truth blog is a couple of weeks old. I have never been a celebrity and now I've crossed over to the side of another non-celebrity!!! My blog is the #1 Get Under Tila's Meth-sore Skin blog around! Of course, if I was a REAL celebrity, I wouldn't have time to blog about celebrities, which is why you won't see other celebrities gossip blogging. Well, that, and the fact that celebrities generally have a certain amount of respect for other celebrities, and feel that gossiping about their peers is crass and in poor taste.
Now if you don't like my stale news, you can go to those other hater sites and read their stale news. I give you what I want, and if I tell you there will be contests, and fan blogs, and video of my Russian boxer's interview, and a fashion line and a record label, and hell, whatever else my pea brain can think of, you can be assured, I won't deliver, just as I don't deliver any fresh, or funny, or exclusive or relevant news. Now there are those that say OMG OMG OMG FATTY YOU'RE JUST JELIS OF SO, AND SO" I actually laugh at those comments...and take a big bite of HoHo. I guess you can say I must be pretty jelis of EVERYONE, right? Well, yes, that's right.
So, in closing (even though I have 4 more paragraphs to go) I am not jelis of the person I post about. I am not jelis of any non-celebrity, nor will I ever be. POW!
I got almost one eleventy billion views in one week. Don't go looking at those legit sites like Alexa, they don't know nothing even though they only do this kind of thing for a living, they are not precise and in REAL TIME! My site has this super secret program that give you the stats of my imaginary web site hits, where it's coming from, IP ADDRESSES (oh wait, the IP's were here all along, why did I go spend all the money in the world to my powerful attornies? to which I have). I can DEFINITELY take a screen shot for you and post the stats of my site in REAL TIME! But geez...acting so high school there are you not? Because you know me well enough to know that if I had actual factual evidence to back myself up and totally OWN the haters I would post it, but I'm too much above that you silly billys!
Don't forget our EXCLUSIVES, that no one else has. Just like we were the ones who broke the story FIRST, about Tila lying about her CHAIRity, and her miscCHAIRage (did you see what I did there? That's the mark of a real journalist, reporter, POW blogger mogul!)
Love you guys! keep coming back for more! KAPOW BITCHES!
Love,
MISS FATTY
This just in!
Tila posted a stupid dear diary blog today (which I've spoofed above). I have a little problem with this part:
Here is the PROOF that Tila scooped the Justin Bieber/Miley Cyrus dating story and TMZ and Piggy, reported it the NEXT DAY! Oh, wait, TMZ and Pigsty must have fucked with their time and date stamp...wait, I BETTER GET NAKED AND PROMISE MY ARMY THEY CAN BUTTER MY BREAD OR SOMETHING, this might hurt me!
HOLD ON, I SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST..... this is from Tila's Facebook. She updates her Facebook/Twitter and Stupid Blog pretty much at the same time...so check out the 3 hour later time stamp. THAT 3 HOURS LATER THAN TMZ AND PEREZ!!! HA!!! I OWNED YOU TILA BITCH!!! Fuck you and your fuckity fucking EXCLUSIVES. You didn't scoop anyone you syphilitic cunt-stain!
Labels:
chairity,
diary,
exclusive,
hohos,
jelis,
mischairage,
miss tila,
OWNED by fatty,
POW,
tila tequila
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18 comments:
Wow... this is brilliant! I gotta tell you, I've been checking this site almost daily now waiting for another post from you. I hope Tila's site stays up for no other reason than the fodder it gives you guys to talk about! I actually don't even check her site anymore, but this...this is hilarious, and you could actually teach her a thing or two about creative, interesting (and truthful) writing!
i'll keep coming back as long as you guys don't make money off of this blog.
i love the writing style and your backhanded attitude :)
keeeep rockin' guys <3
LOLOL "acting so highschool there are you not?"
Throw in a few more "With that said" and random caps and Fatty could post on Tila's crapsite herself.
Damn near burnt out my retinas when the page loaded.....but your still the best!!!!
"I got almost one eleventy billion views" HAHAHAHA! Fatty, you really know how to make a girls morning. Great post as usual! And thank you to all the staff at TRS for providing screencaps to Tila's shitty site.
LOL excellent work once again Fatty :D
PS girls, PLEASE have a look at this one, oh my GODDDD. QUICK BEFORE SHE DELETES IT.
http://misstilaomg.com/2010/05/17/dear-higher-upper-i-know-who-you-are-hush-hush-secret/#comments
'cunt-stain' lmao
I wanna see that screen cap from her blog!! but didnt someone already find that site map info from her HTML codes on her website and it said the same as Alexa? maybe that was a dream...
oh and
http://i993.photobucket.com/albums/af54/lisa_jane_x/ALBUM%202/tila.jpg
(i posted it in a previous blog post)
and
http://shawtandsweet.blogspot.com/2010/05/how-to-tweek-like-tila.html
lol @ the attornies comment, "to which I have"
You just can't make this shit up.
KA-POW!!! Way to call her out, ONCE AGAIN!! I seriously hope the aliens kidnap her & keep her. This bitch is as annoying as a hemmroid!! For realz. Ka-pow, Boom, Bam!! - Dumbass cunt.
Oh and BTW - I said it yesterday but your new look is fantastic!!! It looks a million times better then Hogul's blog.
One last thing.... I got blocked from her site after answering some dude's question on which site can he find all of Tila's lies (this site). So knowning that we can't write Rotspot, I wrote: "I can't tell you the exact name cause I will be blocked but it rhymes with TilasHotspot but replace the H with an R". Ya, I guess Tila can rhyme (of course, silly me, she IS a rapper after all!!) cause I am now blocked. BOOOOO. Works out well cause I was just about done with that bitches site anyway. Don't want to give her anymore traffic!!! Amen sista. BOOM! POW!
I wish the lil American teens and tweens would pay attention to their schoolin', because they just don't seem to catch on to the fact that the internets is a global thing, and not everybody you talk to is also from America. Different countries usually have different rules.
The inconvenient truth is not global warming, it is that if it is on the internet, it is public knowledge. I am being completely serial about that.
Tila, please understand that you are losing fans everyday. I used to be a fan too until the end of 2009. People see through your lies and bs. You think you need to be famous in order to feel validated. That's not true. -- I posted that on her blog.
Aww, Fatty, the "attornies, to which I have" gets me everytime.
So did the misCHAIRage, and CHAIRity.
I can't wait to get up in the morning to see what's new here and start my day. I laugh so hard and have church giggles all day long.
All the writers at the RotSpot, Spiked and Truth, as well as all who comment here, make my already great day better.
Thank You!!
Ever since she started chortling about her big Bieber/Cyrus "scoop" I wondered about the timestamps... could it be that she actually DID get an exclusive before TMZ or PH? Didn't think to look at the FB entry... aaannnnd there it is. I can always count on the TRS crew to put the pieces together. I don't know how you keep track of all these little bits, but thanks!! Keep up the good work!
I love how she uses this bastardized language to make herself sound "intellectual" and journalistic-like. It's English, but it's in no way proper.
"With that said."
"To which I have."
Actually, it makes her sound even more like a poseur than when she tries to sound "ghetto."
And I'm dying to hear your take on that batshit crazy entry about Gaga, or the Illuminati, or whatever. I'm amazed it hasn't been deleted.
Hey Fatty, sorry I'm so late welcoming you to the party that is our Alien princess wonky tits. I lurve your writing style. You are an acerbic bitch after my own heart. Perhaps we were seperated at birth? Keep on keepin on sister, preach it!!
You guys are awesome! I would pay to read this blog. I am a big fan & keep up the good work!
Oh Fatty you keep me rolling.... "I got almost one eleventy billion views in one week.". One eleventy billion!!!!! I have to remember that one. Funny.