Blog Archive

Friday, May 28

postheadericon Fatty: One-eleventy-billion, Tila: big fat ZERO!!!

Please indulge me a moment: I ask that you check out this blog entry from the lovely Fatty and Rotty of just about 72 hours ago:

Oh, the nakey times that night...sigh. 

Now, look at this, yes it's long and boring and pointless, but I'll break it down for you:

Ok, the Tila's wall of words is basically saying one thing: Tila's not going to go to Celeb Rehab because her life is too busy, she can't walk away from the Army of Morons and Halfwits, she doesn't have a place to leave her dead ,on-a-6-month-photo-shoot, bar-b-qued  beloved dog Onyx, she's too busy dealing with tv agents for a multitude of upcoming projects, press tours all over the world (don't you have to have something to talk to the press about to go on tour) blah, blah, fuckity, blah, blah. The long and the short of it is that I CALLED IT THAT SHE WOULDN'T BE ON THE SHOW AND SHE'D HAVE SOME BULLSHIT EXCUSE! She goes on to call Celeb Rehab "the devil's calling" and claims she can't be further exploited (this said with a straight face while her rancid cavernous twat is open to every spelunker with a strong stomach and a penchant for yeast infections and chlamydia!)

This actually makes me sad. I know, I know, it's fun to watch the trainwreck, but this trainwreck is taking a lot of innocent people down with it. The Army of Morons and Halfwits are applauding her decision, and lamenting her stressful life and the evil Celeb Rehab that would take their favorite 4-eyed twatwaffle from their midst. How can these people be this stupid? I mean seriously??? The woman is falling and falling fast, and makes the biggest blunder of a jaded addict and instead of her fans showing concern, they strike up the campfire, join hands and kumbaya the night away! Listen up Tila Army of Morons and Halfwits, YOUR IDJIT LEADER IS KILLING HERSELF! She is not a strong woman, she is weak and needy, desperate for your attention because she is a vapid vacant shell. How can you call yourself fans, when you care nothing about her present or her future? The jelis haterz show way more concern everyday for Tila than her fans. What fucking irony.

The rest of the Wall of Words blabs about how she had to fire more of her staff (odd that Tila takes credit for every single article, so where are all these staff articles?) and hired on 9Head as her fashion cop. 9Head? Seriously Tila? This is the man who bedazzles spiderwebs in the dark and drapes them across your mawing snatch and calls it haute couture. This is the man who draped a belt across your wonky tits and called it edgy. Had he lifted that belt another 14 inches and covered those herpetic sores on your mouth, I might have jumped on the bandwagon, but alas, it's a 9Head FAIL!

I'd like to highlight a few of the more epics paragraphs. 

Paragraph 1: Tila has been talking to millions of people over 10 years, and that education has resulted in her not only having 4 personalities (notice she says 3 but names 4), but also has resulted in her having the equivalent of a PhD in Psychology, so when she speaks, it behooves you to listen to her educated opinions.

Paragraph 3: A lot of yadda yadda about how wonderful her celeb blog is, and the revelation that she spent "every single dime that I have left" in building it. Wow. That's a lot of money. Doesn't leave much for you to sue all us jelis hater bloggers now does it? Could it be that you spent every dime because it cost a couple grand to get the blog going, and you had to pay out a huge settlement to Shawn Merriman, so you were literally left penniless between those two events? Funny, the company I work for spent $20 grand on our website. A little Flash, lots of custom design, re-branding of logo, all new copy-edited and spell-checked content, fancy-shmancy server, lots of interactive features, you know the stuff you'd expect from a truly professional, high class website. I can tell you right now, you spent less than 10% of that on your site. You claim blogger salaries eat up a lot of your budget, but honey, let me tell you about MONETIZING! If your blog is truly bringing in 1 million hits a week (we all know it's not, but let's play pretend), then you'd be MAKING MONEY via targeted ads. You're not. Why, because there's no money to be made for advertisers on your site, I mean, there could be, but until Monistat, Valtrex, Tetracycline, and Azithromycin realize your demographic, you'll have to seek out likely sponsors yourself.  I guess that's why Mister Google pulled his ads from both of your sites. Yea, surprised we noticed?

In between there's a lot of talk about how she doesn't like being on tv, doesn't like the fame, wants to lead her quiet normal life, has to hire MORE staff because in less than a month's time, she's had to fire so many people who didn't get along with her 'OMG family', even though it's so fun, and then some long drawn out rant, at presumably Gawker (who she's been ranting on for the last day or two) over how they are a non-legit celeb gossip blog because they, like all the other competition make up news and bag on celebs, unlike OMG. Whew. Did I get that all in?

I gotta go play Legos with the kids. They've hauled out the Sponge Bob special addition and I gotta glom onto the little Squidward Lego guy, who I love to death!

Damn. I actually got bored of my own article before I really even finished it. Awww. Such is the life of a blogger writing about Tila.


Joann said...

Thanks for the breakdown Fatty and you are right, you posted what she would do regarding CR4 a few days ago. Go girl.

I don't know what the TRUE story is regarding her backing out of CR4, but you can bet your last dollar it's not the one she told.

Tila would NEVER pass up a chance to be on TV. She knew what her schedule was before she supposedly signed on with CR4, so saying she's too busy is a bunch of bs.

Maybe one of the reasons, among many, why she backed out is because she won't be in charge of what happens or what will come out about her on the show and she can't deal with that. All of her lies will be exposed.

Anyway, the real reason will come out sooner or later and I'm hoping it will be sooner.

Ben said...

She made a post claiming that Lindsay's movie "Inferno" is an actual porno and not a bio-picture of Linda Lovelace. I pointed out that of the two of them Thien was the only one to actually have been filmed with a dick in her hands and she personally came off her high horse to call me a hater with no life.

It really is amazing how delusional her and her army is. She admits to doing drugs and needing help, now that she isn't getting it they're just "we're cool with that".

I'm about to the point where I'm done with her and the only time I want to hear her name mentioned is on her obituary.

K.R. Omen said...

So, she's going to keep snorting Ambien? Aww, just when Celeb Rehab found her a roomate. Keisha Cole's mother Frankie was pegged to go to the house as well.I guess two junkies a show does no make. Alas, my eyes are burning from watching this train wreck for so long, I think I'll pick up a book. Great posts.

Anonymous said...

She refers several times to 'nameless' 'faceless' people who talk to the press about her.

What's interesting is that in all the news or blog articles I've ever read about Tila, there have not been many 'source close to the star' references - the information is almost always straight from Tila herself!

Anonymous said...

Didn't Tila already claim to have been filimg for her show.... and now she "cancles" going on because she'd have to start filming next week?

Nothing about her makes sense.

Anonymous said...

She totally contradicts herself throughout this wentire blog. All the complaints she has with these "DIRTY BLOGGERS" is the same bullshit that spews from her fingertops. She reports "EXCLUSIVES" that are days old or copied and pasted from another source. (I honestly think she's getting a lot of her ideas off your site. You post up a blog, and BAM, POW, BOOM, KABAM, PING, PONG, DONKEY, KONG hours later is Wonky Tits response in a stupid dear Diary post.) She lies constantly about real celebrities. She lies about her own fucking life. Why does it matter if some other blog makes up a "little lie"?

Her SOBRIETY should be her #1 priority. But if this is the best excuse she can come up with, then she was NEVER serious about getting help, she was just interested in the TV time and the $$. This bitch doesn't need to hire a "Business manager" when she just admitted to having not a dime because she spent in all on her BAM POW BOOM LEGIT FUN LOVING WERE-ALL-A-FAMILY-HERE CELEBRITY GOSSIP BLOG. I'm so sick of those fucking words. All this bullshit shes claiming she needs to take care of can wait. Her fans, the 6 that are left, would understand if she went to get help for her problems. And she would probably gain a lot of respect if she got the help. But this is Tila Tequila, she was never taken seriously.

One thing I am surprised about though is the fact that she gave some kind of "explanation" as to why shes not able to follow through with something she had in the works. As shitty as the excuse is, there still is one. We never got anything on her fashion line, comic book, and all the other bullshit projects she thinks up in her ambien/red bull induced brainstorms.

Sorry I know this is long but I had to get this off my chest. At this point Tila you have one of 2 options, Suicide/overdoes or disappear and get REAL help. For ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. Option 1 is looking like that's where you're headed though cuntface.

maya said...

I really did't want to read the whole "Dear diary" shit, but i knew it could be kinda funny/sad/suicidal/something i can make fun of when i'm at work boring myselfe to death and The rot spot allways does the trick:) Sooooo thank you Fatty for sumin' it up for us jelis (buahahah i just luv the retarded spelling of that word, it makes my eyes sparkle:) h8rZ:)) (there has to be a song with that word in it, if not, i'll just make one up as I bore myselfe at work the whole day:)
OOhhh and before I forget; I think we all jelis h8rZ knew that the Rehab bullshit is really...just bullshit:) or maby we're just psychic:)*having tons of lulz*

Lisa said...

Is that what she meant? Because I could not figure out what in three hells of fuck she was rambling about.

Thank you for having the fortitude and patience to wade through that swamp of verbal diarrhea.

Yay! Tila's not going to rehab! Yay! She can keep snorting Ambien and run her empire while sitting in her dirty panties and drinking RedBull! Yay! POW!

BigPoppaPhat said...

I guess it was too hard to just say the show was cancelled because a lack of a cast, but no it has to be this whole elaborate lie lol, I bet it was painful to read that wall of her rambling.

chey said...

Booooooo. I was so looking forward to the entertainment that would've been Tila on CR.
I didn't read the whole letter because it's too early on a Saturday for that meth rant but did I read right from someone's comment? Her plan to get off drugs is to lay in bed and think of happiness and her "army"? Really? Yeah, that'll end well.

Manda said...

Cheers Fatty.

You did miss this one though and I only point it out because I laughed so hard someone came to see if I was normal.

" I now have MY OWN celebrity Gossip site too, and mine is actually MORE LEGIT, because I don’t put out lies and stories about celebrities trying to defame them by pretending to interview “confidential, unidentified “sources” as they(the media oulet) put it!) so anyway my heart just crushed into 2 pieces because they said some really nasty things about me that were not true at all, and of course as a “CELEBRITY GOSSIP BLOGGER” (and now that I’m in that world) It is a VERY competitive industry!!!! It’s VERY VICIOUS and those other “DIRTY BLOGGERS” as I would like to calll them, are SO DESPERATE to keep their traffic up, that they would write ANYTHING just to say that it was THEIR “EXCLUSIVE” and EXPLOIT and hurt celebrities when it’s not even true! They just wanna keep posting things up and asking “RANDOM” “FACELESS” and “NAMELESS” people who DO NO HAVE ANY PROOF OF ANYTHING, and they post their stories up anyway, just to get more hits on their site. That is why I call them bloggers the “DIRTY BLOGGERS”."

Anna said...

Great job again. Tila is seriously sinking fast, this shit is getting more interesting...

Anna said...

Great job again! this is fucking hilarious, Tila is over before she ever started.

Sheriff Gauncent said...

This is so exciting. I really think the end is near!!

Rebecca said...

Hahaha @Ben!

Yeah, when I read her posts, I can't get past the first paragraph. I have the attetion span of a Jack Russell Terrier. It's like, when someone's lying and they have to create an elaborate story to cover up their lies. My all time favorite part of this rambling mess of incoherence is when she talks about how great her morals are.

Her "monetizing" ads got pulled? Hahahaha! That happens when someone tries to fraudulently acquire "hits" on their website by either randomly clicking over and over, or having the same computers click repeatedly. I had a blog and that's what happened to my dumb ass! So Tila, you're in good company!

Clementine said...

I am willing to bet that she was never even going to be on the show. She heard it was in trouble and saw an opportunity to get her name on TMZ and some other big real celebrity gossip blogs, she called them up to tell them she was going to be on it knowing that the show would get cancelled.
Because bitch would NEVER give up a pay cheque.

Im pretty sure she is always high as a kite when she writes these diary posts. They are rambling, incoherrent and full of delusional thoughts. She really does think she is the biggest baddest bitch on the block and that she is so pure,good, wonderful, self sacrificing and humble.

It must be so lonely being a washed up, drugged up, dirty old whore with no money and no friends.

We all know her blog is on wordpress so I want to know WHAT she spent her money on?

She must have really wanted Lindsay Lohan to go on CR because now all she does is bash her, she probably thought if Lilo was on CR it would somehow give her cred and she would say something about how they were in rehab together and now were bff and Lilo told her it was her letters to her and her kind loving spirit that got her to admit her addiction.

Ben said...

Considering her post about Khloe was from a "nameless source" it's hilarious the amount of hypocrisy that spills out of her mouth.

Everything she accuses other bloggers of doing she does herself. From Ri-Herpes to Lindsay starring in a porn.

And none of the "army" cares that she's no longer going into rehab. It's all "oh well that's what she wants". How do we lose a brilliant actor like Heath Ledger and she's still pumping? Can someone introduce her to 80mg oxys?

rob said...

May I point you in the direction of Tila's Aaliyah post. She claimed she was 16 when she died, and remembers it all. She makes mention of Texas and her gang crowd, saying how she was such a mess and punched someone when she heard the news. HOWEVER Tila was actually 20, already working for Playboy and in the process of moving to LA (if she wasn't already there, that is). It's all there on your wiki page, miss something.

Seagal said...

I haven't heard that CR4 was canceled. Not saying it hasn't been but i wonder if she decided not to do it because she realized that Dr. drew wouldn't buy into her bs and all her lies would come out. Or maybe they never offered her a show if she did do CR4. I never believed that lie anyhow.

Little Miss Thang is nothing but a hypocrite. Her lies are starting to fall apart too. She has lied so much that she can't even keep them straight any longer.

She bragged and bragged about being so $$$$ but now says she put every dime into her pathetic low class blog. Also, she has had to fire more of her staff of thousands. LMAO

I'm pretty sure there's just her, 9head, and her sister.

Her little tween army loves her so much that they applaud her for NOT going into rehab? Those are definately the 6 people I want in my corner if I was an obvious fucked up addict. Yep, they really do love their little meth whore.

I love the fact that Mr. Google pulled their advertising as we all know "You can't fool Mr. Google".

So the end is coming Tila. You have no one to blame but yourself. Good work you lil' hogul.

And again, you have no one to blame but yourself for your life that is falling apart. Good Work!

And Fatty, You continue to impress me more and more every day. Awesome Job!

Fatty McFatterson said...

I honestly don't think there was ever anything in the works with Celeb Rehab. From the very moment TMZ 'broke' the story, there was something that didn't quite sit well with me and that feeling intensified as she blogged about it, then pulled the blog, and then Tweeted the other day about how the media was stupid and was printing lies about her (this was within hours after me posting that blog about her CR stint being a PR move).
She's yammered on and on about a reality show, was 'filming' the other day, but we've since heard nothing more about that, then the CR story broke. I think she saw an opportunity to gain a little press for herself, knowing that her lies could not be disputed because of the confidentiality clauses. I think even if you haven't signed a contract with them, they're honorbound not to reveal if you really are or are not on the show.
I also think, that this is one time when being an insider helped Tila, because first, she knows the confidentiality rules on these shows, and second, she may be privy to some info that we're not about the status of the show.
Remember the whole dented head/mischairage incident? We all know the whole thing was a blatent lie. Tila was banking on the fact that she's protected by HIPAA, and absolutely NO medical information about her can be released, no matter if it's truth or fiction.
The bitch is cagey, I'll give her that. Unfortunately, for her, my shit detector is set to 'washed up hogul'.

Fatty McFatterson said...

Forgot to add: when and if Celeb Rehab announces they won't be filming this season, the hogul will claim it's because the whole show was suppose to revolve around her, and so because she pulled out, the whole show collapsed.

Hey Tila, what happened to that signed contract with CR? Hope they don't sue you. Not that you're flat-ass broke from your stupid blog, you'll be paying through your ass for years. Wait, that's the standard currency for you anyway, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Man, she's really on some kind of bender. She's been "blogging" for going on 24 hours straight, seemingly without sleeping. I would predict that she'd be dead by the end of the year, but parasites like her have a way of hanging on for years by sucking the life out of everyone around them.

And what is all this sanctimonious horseshit she keeps vomiting in her obit posts about the recent celeb deaths being a sign and a wake-up call? It's really pissing me off for some reason.

Joann said...

Whatever "talent" Tila had to pull in so many people in her Myspace days does not belong in the adult world she is trying to fit in now.

Her comfort zone consists of dealing with tweens, teenagers, unstable young adults and chatting about nonsense on her Twitter and Facebook. I guess she thought her popularity within this group would qualify her to start a gossip site. She thought wrong.

Tila is trying to compete in a world with major players and she has no SKILLS to bring to the table except lying her ass off and slamming celebs.

Tila, I know you read this blog so let me suggest you close your piss poor gossip site down. People are laughing at you and can see through every lie you tell.

Go back to doing your meth rants on twitter, which I found very entertaining by the way, and start or should I say continue your porn career. I'm more than sure you can make a lot of money and you will have less stress.

jayden said...

She's a junkie. Junkies never want to get clean so this doesn't surprise me at all. All it means is she's getting closer and closer to her eventual death from an overdose or doing something stupid while under the influence.

Joann said...

Don't know how true this is but Carlton Jordan tweeted CR4 was canceled because they could only find 3 people to sign up.

BKiddo said...

Wonder if she got all pissy when she found out they wouldn't give her, "her own" spin off show.
She might need the lawyers, to which has, to help her with that signed contract thingy.
Nice post Fatty.
That being said, I raise my already half drunk glass to all the Writers here, as well as the Commenters.
You guys make my day! Cheers!

Alabama Worley said...

Tila was filming her promo for her stint on CR4 (that part is true). There "Maybe" was an intervention which Leo & Carlton were part of. This "maybe" why leo & Carlton are no longer a part of her "crew".

She (Tila) "Maybe" wasn't posting for a day or two, (which you can tell by reading the blogs as they weren't in her writing).

I don't know what happened between intake and her leaving. I suppose either CR4 will air this OR we may never know due to HIPPA laws.

It's "possible" she abuses Adderall and Ambien along with valium and oxy's so her "snorting ambien" is highly downplaying her addiction.

You test "dirty" to get into rehab for addiction by the way ;)

"Maybe" she can't be without her "meds" and probably views it as she NEEDS it. The facility's job is take away what she's abusing and get her through detox.

"Maybe" she is highly abusing drugs which means a detox (no fun for anyone), and before you can enter a facility you have to go through a detox THEN you enter into treatment.

The detox typically takes up to 5-10 days depending on usage and adjusting to the supplement meds for opiates.

The only thing I can say about this is at least she's not wasting anyone's time using up free rehab space when someone who is wanting to get clean could use it. And we all know sobriety doesn't work till you WANT to work for it.

Do I want to see her sober? yes of course. But she's not ready to face what she runs from.

She lies to escape reality.

She uses to escape reality.

She's not ready for reality because whatever she went through that she dumbs down in her childhood is enough to make her into the person we see before us today.

Her version of reality works for her because it caters to her highs and lows emotionally. Her lows only last till she gets a fix or she can sleep it off.

This could be why she fixates on how "precious and genuine and kind and sweet and innocent" she once was. She's always bringing it up. She obviously sees a regret and a time line when it all fell apart.

She should stop what she's doing and do porn. I mean there's nothing wrong with doing porn and there has to be a reason why she's not.

I can only guess she's carrying around something she can't get rid of and that's why she cannot do porn. Regardless of how big the company is, all are subjected to AIM testing.

I bet she could even get a contract with a company. I don't think she can because she can't pass the STD testing or the drug testing that (some not all) require.

Just an insider bit of info, the bigger companies check for meth and heroin usage due to possible IV drug use and HepC and HIV.

You are only tested 30 days prior to filming and if you are using hard drugs it's possible you shared a needle etc with someone and contracted a disease within that 30 days so you are viewed as a risk to the other "Players".

Sorry for everyone's safety and legality I had to post some "maybe's" ;) to cover all our asses. Posting definite statements is a sure fire away to get SUED.

Alabama Worley said...

Also I think google ads pull if you show adult content (like porn or full on nudity)I could be wrong but I know you cannot do adsense if you have full on nudity.

Sheriff Gauncent said...

You can't have drug content for google adsense either.

I was the one who scooped her ads being pulled early this week.

Sheriff Gauncent said...

So she posted about being a drug addict. POW, BAM, KAZOOKS, GODZILLA, ads are gone.

I'm sure she was clicking the hell out of them as well. I even posted on her sight that everyone should continuously click on them so that they would red flag her and pull.

Fuck ya grandma!

Lisa said...

As big a "hater" as I am, I did hope that she'd get some help. But as has been said, she's still getting pleasure and entertainment from being an active addict. I get that. The self-created drama is easier to deal with than reality. You get to the point where getting a credit card bill in the mail is the most outrageous intrusion into your little fantasy world. I get it because I've been there, and fortunately got miserable and desperate enough to want to seek a way out.

I don't think Tila is going to be that lucky. As long as she's got 3 or 4 borderline-retarded "fans" cheering her on, she'll make herself believe that she's relevant and cannot possibly abandon her "empire" to go get treatment.

Alabama Worley said...

Sheriff, stating you're an addict will not get your adsense pulled. Stating or making a site that links to online pharmacies will. Also, if you mention you are selling drugs it will get pulled.

I have an active blog for addicts and we have adsense without issue or incident. Not trying to nitpick but her stating she's addicted isn't a break of TOS. If that was the case not only would my site be shut down but so would anyone else that quotes a celeb or non celeb stating their drug usage.

Adult content isn't allowed (Google/Amazon) work together and their TOS is parallel to Paypal.

i_am_that_girl said...

Now that Celebrity Rehab didn't work out, I wonder if she would try to get on Dancing With The Stars. God, that would be a disaster.

boytoy said...

I'm not a tila fan and not defending her.

Tila does everthing for attention she may or may not known what she is doing cause either she is high or not, but it's still all for attention whether it right or wrong tila knows what she is doing and at times(you cant deny it)tila is a smart business women. The more people egg her on the more tila conutines with her "stories" and lies. In tila head she is a famous someone on the internet but in real life noone knows who she is.

The honest truth i dont want tila to get help i just want her to die already and rid the plant of her filth. The world will be a better place without her.

Seagal said...

I know this is completely off topic but wanted to mention that Dennis Hopper passed away today. A huge loss. RIP in Easy Rider Heaven man.

tui said...

(Off topic)

Alabama Worley! :

I'd really like to read the blog for addicts you mentioned- what's the net address? Btw the writing on your personal blog was wonderful, shame there're so few posts. You left me hungry for more...

Cheers, tui

Andy said...

Now Tila is tweeting again about how "filming for the tv show starts next week." Riiight.

Alabama Worley said...

Is there anyway to see how often she truly views this site? I use blogger but never looked to see if there happened to be a way to view "viewers".

On my actual website (which no one clicks on as they have the blog bookmarked) I can see traffic, right down to the browser they are using.

I'm interested in knowing how often she reads the blogs because she uses the comments AND the blogs for guidance (hey you guys give great guidance). I really really think 9 head is the new Howard Stern (atty to Anna Nicole) to Tila. He's an enabler.

Joann said...

Alabama...I don't know how often Tila reads this blog but I'm guessing about every other hour of each day just to see what we are saying about her and what she can use.

I know I've called her a low budget skank before and when she was going off on her gossip site last night about Ke$sha stealing from her she called her a "low budget version of mine". When has anyone seen Tila use the term "low budget" before.

IMO, she C&P part of the TRS disclaimer which reads:
" contains published rumors, speculation, assumptions, opinions as well as factual information. Information on this site may or may not be true and not meant to be taken as fact. and its writers makes no warranty as to the validity of any claims."

The only difference is she used her gossip site name and in the last paragraph she left out the wording "and its writers". Other than that it's word for word.

I would be surprise if Tila came on this blog and DIDN'T try to take something from it and use it herself. Skank is vile.

Nikky Raney said...

My blog entry calls her out on everything
It's worth reading
you'll enjoy it

JustMoi said...

She admitted she has an addiction. Whatever her addiction is I just hope she gets help.