- Happy One Month Anniversary WhoreMeat!
- Wow. Just wow.
- Cuntzilla Misses the Point Of Memorial Day
- Innate Ugly=Tila Nguyen
- Fatty: One-eleventy-billion, Tila: big fat ZERO!!!...
- Fail Blog Sinks - Whole New Low
- They're juss JELIS!!
- Tila Continues Giving Advice...Sort Of
- New Stuporgirl!
- Fashion Tip 101
- Could Tila have taken us for a ride?
- A is for ...
- Meet Caroline...
- I put a spell on yoooouu...
- EXCLUSIVE!!! It's Perez's Party, Tila Will Lie If ...
- Tila's Fancy New Reality Show
- Tila's blog is super up to date on gossip!
- Dear Diary, Tila takes a hostage!!
- While we're on dresses ....
- EXCLUSIVE!!!! Tila's Maxim Party Dress STOLEN 2 mo...
- OMG a million views!
- About suing bloggers....
- Yay for Wednesday!
- Perez Hilton Buyout Negotiations?!
- Tila's too stupid to attempt a "Play on Words"
- The Dummies Guide to Speaking Slutinese
- Dear Fatty's Diary
- Exclusive! Which Z-List Celebrity is a Terrible Bl...
- Dating advice or The Makings of a Cheap Porn?
- Oh oh!!! For reals!!! I'm scared!! Hold me Uncle E...
- Oh, it's a very happy Sunday morning in my neighbo...
- Alright Listen Up....
- No Stuporgirl this Wednesday!?!?
- Amber Rose gets burned and the Rotspot gets banned...
- More from Tila's Conga Room Performance
- Lady CaCa
- Kimora Lee Simmons and Tila
- What we know of the Conga Room so far
- Hey Everybody! It's Tila's Anniversary!
- Tila can't be THIS delusional? Can she? She puts t...
- Midget Idjit Tour is a raging success!!!
- Uh oh, somebody's a liar!
- Tila on KTLA
- Here is some random stuff
- Tila's World-Renown Midget Idjit Tour!!!
- Tila's amazing EP! 3 whole songs!
- The World Weeps as Tila Continues to Assault our E...
- Tila loves the Rotspot!
- Finally, something not about the fail blog!
- More people angry at Tila for her fail blog
- Copy and Paste do not a gossip blog make
- Picture Gallery
- Whoo! Crack Rants!
- A is for ...
- Tila doesn't do drugs? I beg to differ!
- "I don't do drugs" ----Pfft Tila, you're a retard
- Tila's blog continues to be a big fat fail...
- More fun with Tila's blog!
- Story Time, Folks!
- New Stuporgirl!
- Media Talent Group: Stephen Dorff
- Let's talk about this "charity" ONE LAST TIME!!!!
- Oh yeah, Perez should be REALLY scared.
- Okay, you wanna talk about sucking dick at 16?
- More Lindsay Lohan stuff
- We loves TheHollywoodGossip.com
- A geography lesson
- ▼ May 2010 (69)
Monday, May 31
9:52 PM | Posted by Fatty McFatterson
Ok, I'm on a roll. Just remembered it's been 4 weeks since WhoreMeat opened her stupid celebrity gossip blog. You know, the blog that is not a blog, nor does it talk about celebrities (mainly talks about the Idjit Midget Mogul) and lastly doesn't report gossip, just jelis hater talk.
She's been reporting that her blog numbers are averaging 1 million hits a week, so as soon as she reads this, and remembers it's her 4 week anniversary, she'll run back to her blog and report that she's up to 4 million hits. But, somehow she doesn't know, or doesn't care that there is a site meter on her site. Now, I've been blogging at various sites for 10 years. I was blogging before it was called blogging, so I know a thing or two about site meters. They're very accurate, especially if they're coded to your site. Not only do they count incoming web traffic, but they also count your own visits, unless you muck with the Preference panel and disable the commend to count your visits (which it seems she hasn't, so every time she logs in to swoon over herself, it counts as another hit).
Let's take a peek at the Idjit Midget Moguls numbers (remember, in honor of all the men and women who died so the Idjit Midget Moguel could enjoy the right to bash innocent people and ruin lives on her blog, I will not be printing her name).
Wait! Hold the train! 852,493 hits? This must be for the last week, right? Nope. It's for the ENTIRE MONTH!!! She hasn't even reach a mil yet. All that talk about a million hits a week, is just that, talk. The average length of visit is a minute. A minute for her readers to absorb all the EXCLUSIVE!!! POW!!! LEGIT!! POW!!!! gossip from the #1 GOSSIP BLOG IN THE WORLD!
But surely, a fledgling gossip blog needs to ramp up and gain some momentum. Tsk, tsk Fatty, for not giving it a chance. You can clearly see by the next graph that things start out slowly, and then the blog gains steam by leaps and bounds, on it's way to dethrowning Perez any day now...
Oh wait, no it doesn't.
This is inexplicable. I just don't understand it. Take this blog, for example. Now, I don't know of a site meter here, but I can tell you, from the number of comments, that this blog started out with a low viewership, but has gained a steady stream of readers and fans (call up Mr. Google and ask him about the 'rotspot' and see how many other sites and blogs mention it, and not only that, stand up and cheer for this site). This is what normally occurs with online blogs. They normally don't lose 50% of their audience by the second day!!!! Yes, the SECOND DAY, almost half of her audience dropped off the face of the earth! Wow. That dethrowning is going so well for you! HA!
Well kids, I hope that bedtime story put you to sleep. I shall join you in the land of sugarplums and jelis haterz. Until tomorrow, goodnight sweet bitches!
AHA! I just figured out why WhoreMeat calls it the #1 celebrity gossip site", because anyone searching that phrase will be led to her site. As a matter of fact, all searches on Mr. Google, reference her blog. With the exception of her own site calling out that phrase, all other sites are mocking her over it. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA. Omg. I love being evil!