Wednesday, May 5
Story Time, Folks!
11:18 AM | 
Posted by
Eduardo Retardo
Okay boys and girls, Uncle Eddie is up early (early for Uncle Eddie anyway) so I've decided to tell you guys a little story. It occurred to me recently that some of you may not remember the time when our favorite midget mogul Tila TeCRAZY threatened to commit suicide. There are rumors that there was a time she threatened to commit suicide if her retarded army of underage lemmings didn't get something trending on twitter. See, I don't have those screen caps, but I'm pretty sure I remember that too. However, I do have the screen caps of THIS time when she threatened it. And as we all know, suicide is NOTHING to this crazy bitch. It's the equivalent of faking a pregnancy or a
So there are two things about this that piss me off to no end. First, she's all "omg you guys aren't my fans and you're killing me if you don't tell Diddy!" then apparently Diddy said something (probably "bitch wtf you smokin'?") and she's all "oh gosh Diddy I'm so sorry my fans got you involved." God what a fucking STUPID bitch. Secondly, how dare she get my fucking hopes up like that? I've said it before and I'll say it again, Uncle Eddie already has the post ready for you bitches when she either kills herself by overdosing in the gutter or is found chopped up in a suitcase.
So you know that miracle she was begging for? Well she brings it up a couple more times. And can you believe it, she uses it as an excuse to name drop! Wow! How very unlike her! She basically continues, hinting at what we now know to be the first in a series of fake pregnancies (I'll post more about that in a few days, you'll see why then) and she starts to insinuate that she and Diddy have a relationship.
And, as you probably noticed at the top of the suicide tweets - after she comes back with "what's up bitches?" (which is fucking lovely, with as many of her fans who were undoubtedly worried that she disappeared and THAT'S how she comes back), she talks about filing a criminal restraining order against someone. Well, that's because of this (again, read from the bottom up):
Later, from what I understand, someone at 4chan took credit for hacking into her twitter and typing that. I mean really, her story is COMPLETELY unbelievable. So someone broke into your house, updated your twitter, and locked your fucking PIT BULL in the trunk of your car? Okay Tila, sure. Oh, and blackmail? WTF does blackmail have to do with it? And, in true Tila fashion, this slowly fades away just like everything else does.
It probably wouldn't bother me so much that she lies all the time if she were at least GOOD at it.
Okay I think that's it for now. Uncle Eddie has some more good stories for you, but you have to be good little boys and girls. You have to eat all your vegetables and do your homework and the rest of that bullshit until next time. Promise?
Update!!
I totally forgot to add this one too! We still have hope, ladies and gentlemen!
Okay I'm seriously crossing my fingers.
Update Number 2!!
Amber Sweet over on Facebook found a link to the OTHER suicide, the one where Tila was threatening if her fans got #tilacommitsuicide trending on twitter. If the Resistance had been around back then, you can bet that shit would have been trending. Tila fans, you let us down!
Here's the link!!!
Dude...amazing. AMAZING. That is attention whoring on a whole 'nother level.
Labels:
2 Pac,
4chan,
hacked twitter,
John Mayer,
mischairage,
miss tila,
P Diddy,
suicide,
tila tequila,
Tila's lies
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15 comments:
But she's the female 2 Pac so she doesn't even really need to off herself in order to be "with" him, right?
WTH. I really didn't pay any attention to the skank until the Shawne Merriman case so I never saw her tweets about suicide but I do remember hearing about someone breaking into her house, killing her and then sent tweets about it. I found it very, very odd that someone would do that but since I now know how she operates, it all makes sense. The skank was tweeting as the so called "killer".
I can't understand why Tila has not been locked up, put on a mental hold or at least kicked off the Internet. This is ridiculous.
She is the most pathetic person I have ever seen in my life.
this is just disgusting. seriously, you know she is just trying to get attention. why would anyone use suicide as means of getting attention? right, its tila.
Fuckin mentalcase. She needs to be hit with a baseball bat.
OMG YOU GUYS....SERIOUSLY!!!
http://www.mtv.com/shows/daria/series.jhtml
awww I remember when someone "killed" Tila..that is when I started watching this whole trainwreck! LOL Great job on the blog guys!
http://suicidemachine.org/
I remember her tweets on suicide, she did it a couple of times. The last suicide attempt in November she asked her fans to save her and had some kind of vote, tila too commit suicide vote and tila not too commit suicide vote, well the haters where winning even back than and i remember telling her so much for your fans, they can't save you now but as usual just crying wolf again.
She also threatened suicide when she was having her mischairage.
“I told my friend I would just kill myself if anything ever happened.”
Kill, Kill, Kill!
I still have to shit!
http://www.cowboycoalition.com
I knew Tila was stupid, but I must be stupider, because I had no idea she was THIS STUPID. She has a post on her site about a cop doing crack while on-duty. First, it's not like the cop is Starsky or Hutch, so no celeb news, but more importantly, she attributes the story to "Tila Staff". Hmm. No typos in the story. It reads logically and is short and to the point, therefore it can not be anything Tila wrote. A little search on Google reveals that Danielle Canada wrote the original post fro hiphopwired.com and Tila copied, pasted and took credit it for it. What a maroon!!!
Also, she' attributing Miley's underwear pix to 'myspace' and various other pix to whereever she stole them from, not realizing that it's still stealing if you didn't get permission or pay a royalty. Once folks start busting her ass, her 'news' will dry up pretty quick. And why is she quoting other blogs as news sources for some of those entries? She might as well just copy and paste Perez's site on to hers, she might actually get some credible hits that way.
Soooo.... if someone cared enough, couldn't they have had her put away if she was threatening suicide? Clearly she didn't mean it, but isn't it legal to take someone against their will at that point? I never knew about those tweets. I didn't start paying attention to her until the Casey engagement, so I missed a lot. She needs to be commited. Asap.
Awesome post as always! :)
It must have been a super strong POW batch of drugs that night. Sounds like she was high as a kite. she probably trashed her own place and forgot .
Sorry about the double post, but is this where that picture of her with a gun in her month comes from ? maybe it was the final video she mentions she will make.
No Ray, that's from one of her ustream strip teases.