- Happy One Month Anniversary WhoreMeat!
- Wow. Just wow.
- Cuntzilla Misses the Point Of Memorial Day
- Innate Ugly=Tila Nguyen
- Fatty: One-eleventy-billion, Tila: big fat ZERO!!!...
- Fail Blog Sinks - Whole New Low
- They're juss JELIS!!
- Tila Continues Giving Advice...Sort Of
- New Stuporgirl!
- Fashion Tip 101
- Could Tila have taken us for a ride?
- A is for ...
- Meet Caroline...
- I put a spell on yoooouu...
- EXCLUSIVE!!! It's Perez's Party, Tila Will Lie If ...
- Tila's Fancy New Reality Show
- Tila's blog is super up to date on gossip!
- Dear Diary, Tila takes a hostage!!
- While we're on dresses ....
- EXCLUSIVE!!!! Tila's Maxim Party Dress STOLEN 2 mo...
- OMG a million views!
- About suing bloggers....
- Yay for Wednesday!
- Perez Hilton Buyout Negotiations?!
- Tila's too stupid to attempt a "Play on Words"
- The Dummies Guide to Speaking Slutinese
- Dear Fatty's Diary
- Exclusive! Which Z-List Celebrity is a Terrible Bl...
- Dating advice or The Makings of a Cheap Porn?
- Oh oh!!! For reals!!! I'm scared!! Hold me Uncle E...
- Oh, it's a very happy Sunday morning in my neighbo...
- Alright Listen Up....
- No Stuporgirl this Wednesday!?!?
- Amber Rose gets burned and the Rotspot gets banned...
- More from Tila's Conga Room Performance
- Lady CaCa
- Kimora Lee Simmons and Tila
- What we know of the Conga Room so far
- Hey Everybody! It's Tila's Anniversary!
- Tila can't be THIS delusional? Can she? She puts t...
- Midget Idjit Tour is a raging success!!!
- Uh oh, somebody's a liar!
- Tila on KTLA
- Here is some random stuff
- Tila's World-Renown Midget Idjit Tour!!!
- Tila's amazing EP! 3 whole songs!
- The World Weeps as Tila Continues to Assault our E...
- Tila loves the Rotspot!
- Finally, something not about the fail blog!
- More people angry at Tila for her fail blog
- Copy and Paste do not a gossip blog make
- Picture Gallery
- Whoo! Crack Rants!
- A is for ...
- Tila doesn't do drugs? I beg to differ!
- "I don't do drugs" ----Pfft Tila, you're a retard
- Tila's blog continues to be a big fat fail...
- More fun with Tila's blog!
- Story Time, Folks!
- New Stuporgirl!
- Media Talent Group: Stephen Dorff
- Let's talk about this "charity" ONE LAST TIME!!!!
- Oh yeah, Perez should be REALLY scared.
- Okay, you wanna talk about sucking dick at 16?
- More Lindsay Lohan stuff
- We loves TheHollywoodGossip.com
- A geography lesson
- ▼ May 2010 (69)
Friday, May 28
1:56 AM | Posted by Eduardo Retardo
Hey kids. Do you remember that episode of Saved By the Bell where Zack, Screech, and Lisa open up the Teen Line because Lisa is really good at giving advice? And Zack, that money-hungry hunk of love (rawr!) decided that Lisa's advice was TOO good, so he fired her and started giving bad advice on purpose, thinking it would wreak havoc on everybody's lives and make them keep calling in for more? But then OMG SHENANIGANS when he got the phones mixed up between Kelly (also rawr!) and her little sister Nicki...
So Tila has started giving advice on her fail blog, and I'm thinking she's taking a page straight from the classic Saturday morning show I still watch every morning on TBS (seriously, I know everything about that goddamn show, ask me anything) because WOW is this advice pretty shitty.
So first off, way to recycle that picture, Tila. I thought you were some mogul, and Garry Sun was your friend...couldn't you get him to shoot NEW pictures of you for your "advice column?" Instead of the one of you checking into your hotel in NYC? Also, Support is the wrong email for this type of thing. Just saying.
The letter starts out talking about how much this anonymous girl (I can't imagine it being a Tila Fan, the letter is not blatantly retarded) loves when Tila talks about herself. Good, because that's what most of Tila's response is. Anyway, anonymous goes into how she's struggling financially due to medical debt and being laid off as a 23 year old paralegal. She had to move into her parents house. She even admits to being put into a mental health facility in her past (no, I'm not that much of a dick, I'm not going to make fun of that). She recently broke up with her girlfriend and now she doesn't feel like life is worth living. She basically feels like shit and can't get out of bed due to her depression. She ends by telling Tila that she dreams of moving away to NYC or LA and becoming a model. This is what Tila chooses to focus on.
So Tila begins her response by saying how it's MUCH HARDER being Tila than it is to be this girl. I dunno, Tila, this girl seemed to have a REAL relationship. She wasn't using someone for the money they didn't have, a drug buddy, and I doubt she met her significant other in a grocery store during a super skanky photo op. OMG it's so much harder being Tila! Because the world is watching!
Tila then continues by BLATANTLY IGNORING this girl's financial situation and saying "OMG you should move to NYC!" Because it's super easy to go from broke, moving back in with your parents, and not having a job, to just picking up and moving to New York City, right? Of course it is! Hell, really all you gotta do is snort some Ambien and you might get lucky enough to hallucinate that you're there! That's both money AND time efficient!
She continues "you'll meet new friends and lovers very easily." Yes, I fixed her typo. YOU'RE WELCOME, TILA. I love this part especially. I know you're sad about breaking up with your girlfriend, the only person you've ever loved, but go whore yourself out in NYC! That'll make it all better! Then Tila says she was only there for a month and she met every single person who was somebody (who was somebody). What!? Really, Tila? Let's say, hypothetically, that's true. Then how did you fuck up this bad to become a social pariah!?
Then Tila talks about her love life. I found this part to be especially lulzy. She's obviously not talking about Casey. In fact, because of her typo, I thought she was talking about a dude for a while there. You know, that's one thing you gotta hand to Tila. Even though her life is obviously SHITE, she always remains optimistic. Personally I think those kind of people are idiots, but hey, what can you do.
Anyway, I'm sick of breaking this shit down. I'm sure you've read it yourself and you've formed your own opinion. I just hope that nobody who REALLY needs help ever emails Tila, because all they're gonna get is Tila talking about herself and ignoring the bigger issues at hand for the fun "like omg!" answer. And that's just sad.