- Happy One Month Anniversary WhoreMeat!
- Wow. Just wow.
- Cuntzilla Misses the Point Of Memorial Day
- Innate Ugly=Tila Nguyen
- Fatty: One-eleventy-billion, Tila: big fat ZERO!!!...
- Fail Blog Sinks - Whole New Low
- They're juss JELIS!!
- Tila Continues Giving Advice...Sort Of
- New Stuporgirl!
- Fashion Tip 101
- Could Tila have taken us for a ride?
- A is for ...
- Meet Caroline...
- I put a spell on yoooouu...
- EXCLUSIVE!!! It's Perez's Party, Tila Will Lie If ...
- Tila's Fancy New Reality Show
- Tila's blog is super up to date on gossip!
- Dear Diary, Tila takes a hostage!!
- While we're on dresses ....
- EXCLUSIVE!!!! Tila's Maxim Party Dress STOLEN 2 mo...
- OMG a million views!
- About suing bloggers....
- Yay for Wednesday!
- Perez Hilton Buyout Negotiations?!
- Tila's too stupid to attempt a "Play on Words"
- The Dummies Guide to Speaking Slutinese
- Dear Fatty's Diary
- Exclusive! Which Z-List Celebrity is a Terrible Bl...
- Dating advice or The Makings of a Cheap Porn?
- Oh oh!!! For reals!!! I'm scared!! Hold me Uncle E...
- Oh, it's a very happy Sunday morning in my neighbo...
- Alright Listen Up....
- No Stuporgirl this Wednesday!?!?
- Amber Rose gets burned and the Rotspot gets banned...
- More from Tila's Conga Room Performance
- Lady CaCa
- Kimora Lee Simmons and Tila
- What we know of the Conga Room so far
- Hey Everybody! It's Tila's Anniversary!
- Tila can't be THIS delusional? Can she? She puts t...
- Midget Idjit Tour is a raging success!!!
- Uh oh, somebody's a liar!
- Tila on KTLA
- Here is some random stuff
- Tila's World-Renown Midget Idjit Tour!!!
- Tila's amazing EP! 3 whole songs!
- The World Weeps as Tila Continues to Assault our E...
- Tila loves the Rotspot!
- Finally, something not about the fail blog!
- More people angry at Tila for her fail blog
- Copy and Paste do not a gossip blog make
- Picture Gallery
- Whoo! Crack Rants!
- A is for ...
- Tila doesn't do drugs? I beg to differ!
- "I don't do drugs" ----Pfft Tila, you're a retard
- Tila's blog continues to be a big fat fail...
- More fun with Tila's blog!
- Story Time, Folks!
- New Stuporgirl!
- Media Talent Group: Stephen Dorff
- Let's talk about this "charity" ONE LAST TIME!!!!
- Oh yeah, Perez should be REALLY scared.
- Okay, you wanna talk about sucking dick at 16?
- More Lindsay Lohan stuff
- We loves TheHollywoodGossip.com
- A geography lesson
- ▼ May 2010 (69)
Thursday, May 13
11:32 PM | Posted by Fatty McFatterson
I just happened to be beating my cat with a spatula tonight and a couple of the neighborhood teeny-boppers came running over screaming "OMG!!!!! TILA'S SINGING AT FATTY'S HOUSE!!!" Oopsie.
I did give out a couple of autographs though, and the Conga Room booked me and Mr. Cheezy (of course, I'll be accompanying him on the spatula) to come play a few sets. Mr. Cheezy will be on the catwalk (get it?!) with a couple of cat collars buckled over his chest and the remnants of Tweetie hanging off his shoulder.
So, I've been searching blogs about Tila's performance last night, hoping to find a review, ANY REVIEW! Pretty much nothing out there. I did find a slew of horrible pix, including her feathered GaGa mask, which if you ask me, should be a mandatory accessory for every outfit. Of course, Tila will spin it that she came up with the GaGa look and Lady Gaga retroactively stole it from her, but I do have to say it smacks of delicious desperation.
In other news, I spent last night with cucumbers over my eyes after re-reading Tila's record label promise. I figured if she's doing such a bang-up job promoting her own musical career, she has to be doing some wonderful things for the artists she intends to sign.
I've been mighty concerned about the young man from New Zealand who signed up with the nutjob. I have a couple of issues with record label promises, perhaps we can hash this out here to try to make sense of it:
Let's start at the 5th bullet point. So Tila has started her 'tour' as of Wednesday. Not a large tour by anyone's standards, but hey a moguel has to start somewhere. With all the acts she has allegedly signed to her secret label, why didn't we see anyone opening for her? I would have thought her new boo RobinRob would have jumped at this opportunity. And if she's taking these new acts on the road with her how will she deal with the shear numbers of artists she intends to sign? If RobinRob and R2D2 and Smega and Lost Locos and Justin Berber are all signed, how will you have room on stage for all of them? And what about them forging a career outside your impressive shadow?
I do like that you're giving them 5-star accomodations. That's so generous of you, after we saw you at the 3 1/2 star Luxor (which is currently a 2 star after your "unposed" photo spread). I'm sure the Tila's Army of Morons and Halfwits are suitably impressed that you'll live in the doghouse so the clients can live like kings.
So, let's take a peek at what RobinRob is really getting himself into. Over on bullet 6 Tila's lawyers somehow got around that whole conflict of interest thing and they are allowing her to tell her potential clients that she will not only be their label, she's also be their manager! Wow. I hope you didn't spend a half a mil on this advice Tila dear. There's a little law in California that says that's a no-no.
Did you have to pay extra for bullet 7, where you promise that "literally overnight" they will be in business, their record will be put out and they will start making money and seeing checks come in. Let me search my addled brain for the date you signed Mr. RobinRob. I believe it was in late April. Hmmm. It's been over 2 weeks and we haven't heard about Mr. RobinRob in a while. What happened to him being an overnight sensation...LITERALLY??? Oh, wait, isn't he suppose to come out this summer (summer being only one month away)? I'm sure you've lined up events from the moment he gets off the plane (when the paparazzi meet him) to the moment he finishes his international tour. Hold on a sec so I can at least check the dates on his itinerary. I know, it's a little soon, but most artists have a page where they have at least a couple of dates and "TBA" (to be announced) filling up unconfirmed dates. Hmmmm. Over on Rob's myspace there is a mention of Tila on a youtube, but nothing about him signing to her record label. Nothing about upcoming tour dates. Nothing about upcoming iTunes releases. Nothing about any upcoming or current press dates. I mean, basically, I might as well be signing this kid to my personal label, Fatty Records, for all the good it's doing him. He does talk about an upcoming single release, but it's just a vague "due for release in 2010", and I believe that was on his myspace before the Tila encounter. Wow. Tila's sure doing a lot for this young man. I will say, I don't blame him for getting involved with her and I wish him the best of luck, but c'mon dude, you should have done your homework!
I hope Mr. RobinRob can perfect his red carpet body fling to the ground to pose seductively, because I think that's all he's going to learn from the midget idjit.
Until next time dear readers...