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Wednesday, May 19

postheadericon Perez Hilton Buyout Negotiations?!

Usually I wouldn't care much about any of the Perez bullshit.  Although I don't hate him I don't really care either way.  However, I am VERY excited to bring to Tila's your attention that Perez has been offered $20 million for his celebrity gossip site.  Really looks like the hogul is "powing" her way into getting owned, doesn't it?  I mean let's take a look at what Tila's site is worth shall we?

$204!!?!?!  Hahahahaahaha, Seriously ... mogul!!?!?!?!  Oh gawd I can't stop laughing!!!  But Rotty that's just the "misstila" one.  Well, I know that silly billy!  BUT since it IS her "new name" and all I figured it would be the one she pimped the most, no?  Ok, ok, ok ... unlike Tila, I show the FULL truth of the matter.  Not JUST what makes me look good!

Well ooooh my!  I should be sooo impressed no?  Around 11k!?!  COMBINED they don't even reach $12,000.00!!  Hahahaahahaha!  Just a fyi, Tila makes 50k for 48 hours of blowing rich dudes so I think it's pretty pathetic that in the YEAR that she's been pimping this shit that's all she's got?  I'd be pretty damn embarrassed.  You know what people do when they are embarrassed?  They go on rants about how they're going to sue everyone and scream "liar liar pants on fire" when there is nothing else that they can say.  Backed into a corner princess wonky tits?  I know you are and I just keep giggling like the catty fuckin' cunt that I am. 

Now I'm SURE the niggarich (that means a few g's in hand) hogul  is going to take claim to the "buyout".  Which would be even FUNNIER because that would show just how desperate she REALLY is.  Oh goodness crab crotch, you can never win can you?  And for those of you "racist" fanatics just substitute "trailer trash tax refund day" in the place of "niggarich".

Oh, and before ANYONE gives me lip about the Perez thing being from a "credible"'s ALL over the fuckin' internet.  Pick your favorite source :)  I just grabbed the first off of google.  I mean, google is working with ME in giving me all of the most precise information available on THIS issue!!!  Mister Google called me this morning just to laugh about what a fuckin' fail Twatla is!!!  Sooo, if I wanted any lip from you I'd unzip my pants.  (Thanks @YAR for that analogy the other day!  It's become one of my favorites!)

Rotty (TRS)

Just in!!!

Well, just in for ME that is!!!  Sorry, runnin' on very little time right now kiddies!  Anyhow, it seems that Perez has helped create a new star!  Isn't this what Crabby Cunt has been trying to do FOREVER now?  Man, he just keeps slappin' her in the face in every single aspect of her life.  Let's seeeee ...
  • Gossip Blog Success - CHECK!
  • Coming out for real, not pretend - CHECK!
  • Being an A-list celebrity from nothing - CHECK!
  • Being a REAL millionaire - CHECK!
  • Having REAL own record label - CHECK!
  • Helping artists REALLY become stars - CHECK!
Yes, it looks as though Perez has achieved EVERYTHING Crater Face Meth Mouth is trying to do. I mean, when does the embarrassment stop!?!??!?!


For full story click here! 

*Skips off to see Nonpoint tonight* 


BKiddo said...

Not a big Perez fan, but oh my, this made my already happy day that much better!
You know she's got to be livid, and shits gonna be shooting out of every cavity she's got tonight!

Isis said...

Yo Thien and/or Terry is going kookoo for Coco Puffs on buzznet. Yeah, somebody heard about Perez and they ain't too happy.

chey said...

I read that if Perez accepts it basically means the end of his site since all the people making the offer want it for is to redirect the huge number of page hits he gets to their own gossip site. As soon as I read that I thought, you know Tila is going to be taking credit if it happens.
And since I haven't commented since the change - I love the new layout!

Anonymous said...

I love these post I dont follow Perez's blog at all but I know he doesn't spew the same hate that Tila does and he doesnt toot his own horn (so to speak)This is great I hope she reads this post and I hope she googles him as often as she does herself, oh forget that last comment I dont think any one can google as much as she does her own name. GREAT JOB< made my day!

Peter said...

Mogultard is curiously quiet right now. She probably has her high powered legal team (aka. Mr. Google, Esquire) verifying all your sources (doing a google search.)

Sshhhhhh...Tila, we know you read every post here so let me spell it out for you: you are a huge F-A-I-L.

Joann said...

I'm not a big Perez fan either, even though I do check out his gossip site, but evidently he kept his mouth shut, handled his business, got positive results, then let the world in on what he did.

Tila, on the other hand, talks continually to all who will listen about being a mogul and what she has going for her but we have seen little or nothing.

The few things she has managed to put online has met with little success or has been a total failure.

Well Tila, what are you going to say about Perez now and who has left who in the dust. Skank.

Anonymous said...

waaait, i just used that website to check and it said you make about 50 cents a day. HOW?!

ps: great article! P0w!~~#$%$^%%$#

Joann said...

I forgot to add this to my prior post...but I bet Tila will say Perez wants to sell his gossip site because the "success" of her site has him running scared or something along those lines.

Lisa said...

Wow. "Niggarich"? Really? I've been enjoying your site for a few weeks now. You really took the "joy" out of it for me with one word. Anyway, thanks for the memories and good luck...

Ray said...

I cant stand perez I LOVE that crying video he posted on youtube, I watch it and LMAO whenever i hear about him, just i hate the hogul more. now off to utube for some perez lolz

Rotty (TRS) said...

I'm going to always offend one person. You're not anymore special than anyone else. I'm sorry that you take offense to a word. But you'll laugh at me calling Tila a cunt and what not!? Awesomesauce my friend, awe-some-sauuuuce! I'm equal opportunity ... I will equally piss you off as much as I do Tila.

The show must go oooon!!!!

Lisa said...

ha I bet she is HATING this right now, but yeah all bets are on that she twists it round to say he's a 'sellout' or something like that!

I don't think you should be bandying the n word around either, just sayin. It's not the same as 'cunt' or swear words and you know it. Don't make yourself look as ignorant as Tila...

Helena said...

You could also add to Perez's list of achievements:

He's got better looking as he's got older, whereas Tila is not the cute looking girl she started out as.

I'm not particularly a fan of Perez, but he does look better these days, whereas the hogul is looking decidedly rough!

Eduardo Retardo said...

We make no money from this site. I really have no idea who they would figure our site is worth $.50 a day, but I would assume the only thing they can base this off of is our number of daily visits? I dunno. I want my 1/4 of $.50 a day. What the hell is 1/4 of $.50?

See, I told you guys I'm bad at math. The calculator on my iPhone says it's 12.5 cents. I WANT MY 12.5 CENTS. In a year I'd be as rich as Tila!

Eduardo Retardo said...

Ugh, I meant "how," not "who."

Dammit, I fail at math AND English.

Uncle Eddie fail. :(

Anonymous said...

i love uncle eddie !! <3

Elizabeth said...

perez also doesn't lie to his fans and pretend to kiss their ass on the internet and then treat them like crap in person. i met him at sxsw this year and he was actually a sweetheart, i was completely surprised. yeah, he got famous for being kind of a douchebag to celebrities, but lets be honest that's what we want to read. i enjoy watching him have the success that tila is so desperately trying to achieve and i REALLY like watching her try to act like she has even 1% of the fanbase and success perez has. her delusions are quite amusing.