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Friday, May 7

postheadericon Whoo! Crack Rants!


Da na na na na na na na
Da na na na na na na na
CRACK RANTS!
You see?  It's like Batman, only it's TILA!  God, I'm witty.

So anyway, Uncle Eddie went to see Iron Man 2 tonight, and suddenly I feel my phone going freaking NUTS in my pocket.  I couldn't help it, I had to check (it's a dick move people, don't turn on your cell phones during a movie unless you're slick about it) and my girl Daria was BLOWING MY SHIT UP telling me that Tila was going on a crack rant!  And even though Uncle Eddie needs to rest his eyes, he had to tell you.  In case you missed it.

Let's start at the beginning.  @Antifakebitch over on twitter found this tweet made by my full retard (or "full retahhhhh" as he calls it) buddy, @ProphecyHipHop.  This guy seriously might be the biggest douchebag on the planet, no joke.  Anyway, a few days ago he tweeted this:


Prophecy, aka Garry Sun, will make you roll your eyes so hard your brain will bleed.  He makes all new age thought painful and ridiculous.  Anyway, he's the same guy that took all those ultra-classy and glamorous (read: mogulicious) pictures of Tila shopping at Ralph's in her lingerie.

Anyway, so fast forward to tonight.  Here it comes, people, get ready for it!


Okay, that's normal enough, right?  I mean, I've never seen that movie because it just LOOKS sad, and I don't feel like making myself cry.  But oh, Tila isn't going to let us down.  Just when you think shit is normal POW! (lol)...


LOL!!  Oh I hope WE are the bad people she's talking about!  Oh I hope I hope I hope!  Oh Tila, that would just make my day!  And I know TRS and Gnome would just pee their pants with joy!

So let me tell you, you don't even know how many messages I got by excited people thinking she was going to start talking about suicide again.  And that got Uncle Eddie's hopes up.  But don't get discouraged guys.  Maybe she's got like, some fatal illness that nobody knows about...

And on that note, Uncle Eddie is going to catch some Z's!

Oh wait, no, let me show you this real quick.


Eh oh FUCKING el.  Obviously Tila's gossip blog is the numba one gossip blog IN THA WORLD OMGZ LOLZ.  That's from today (well I guess technically yesterday, but I haven't gone to sleep yet), May 6th, 2010.

Good night, bitches!

17 comments:

Monique said...

Her blog must be failing, she is starting up with the "making babies" thing again. That seems to be her fall-back attention item.

"PS-Up Next I have to get ready for a HUGE tour in THE UK, IBIZA, LA, and GERMANY! Ahhhhh I just want to make some babies!!!!"

We need to remind Tila that she promised all army members would get free tickets to her "concerts" (aka karaoke night at the local bar/strip club). I'm sure it will slip her mind.

whatahautemess said...

Written in the key of Garry:

"I Would Watch The Time Traveler's Wife In A Box/I Would Watch The Time Traveler's Wife With A Fox/I Would Watch Eric Bana Go Here And There/I Would Watch Eric Bana ANYWHERE."

I'm amused that Tila spelled the name of the movie correctly where New Age Masta Lyricist did not. He needs to go collaborate with Spencer "Mala Bracelets of Doom" Pratt.

Love you Uncle Eddie.

deluwiel said...

so, if she's psychic, do you think she knows what's going to happen to Lindsay before it actually goes down? and then write a Super Duper POW Exclusive for her gossip blog? naw. I didn't think so either. BTW - whatever happened to the little boy she was going to the adoption agency in Oakland to meet? Maybe her Third Eye Psychic Oneness with the Universe told her ahead of time that no one in their right mind would ever let her adopt anything but a pet rock so she blew it off. Poor little African American boy in Oakland - waiting and waiting for his Mamma TT to come and take him to the wonderful land of Mogul-dom and mansions... so sad. I shed a little tear just then, thinking about it.

Helena said...

Fucking hell, she can't even watch a movie without making it all about her!

She's no psychic! Look at the stories on her blog, they are 13 years old....A psychic would do better than that!

Dumb, stupid meglomaniac!

Joann said...

I would love to know how she's getting all these bookings in foreign countries? I know she's promoting her album, but have these countries even heard of her?

When Tila say HUGE tour, you know right away it's nowhere near huge.

SpitFire said...

Question? ......did THIS ever even happen???? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=641A06jZrl8&feature=related

ugiygiri said...

http://www.drunkenstepfather.com/index.php/2010/05/07/tila-tequila-isnt-dead-yet-of-the-day

FUCK TILA said...

That bitch blocked me from commenting on her website. LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I guess her "psychic" instincts told her that my comments would be a threat. LOL.

Jen said...

Just to have some fun..... HAAA!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycEKPpIXMYE&feature=related

Joann said...

@ugiygiri...thanks for the link. This skank loves to roll around on the floor while she's "performing".

Check this out: http://celebrityodor.com/2010/05/06/tila-tequila-doing-her-thing-in-vegas/

@SpitFire...it didn't happen. November of 2009 was when the Shawne Merriman BS jumped off. I found a link advertising the tour:
http://www.istanbulview.com/tila-tequila-in-istanbul/

Violet Morellet said...

@ugiygiri That was lols. I dunno if everyone else can see the ad or not, but for me there's an animated ad on the left side of the screen for "Adult Friend Finder" on that site, and the model's tits are so hilariously wonky that I had to look up at her face like fifteen times to make sure it wasn't Tila.

Joann said...

http://www.celebritysmackblog.com/2010/05/07/tila-tequila-stinks-up-vegas/

SpitFire said...

@Joann ahhhh, go figure right?? What a loser.... Tila needs shot. And super fucking quick too.

Monique said...

Friday's traffic, almost half of Thursday's.

http://twitpic.com/1lxq0t

noor21791 said...

Perez Hilton has 61,869 subscriptions on Google Reader.

Tila has... 12.

Ray said...

She's dropping traffic like Ambien and redbull. I dont even go there . I checked it out when it opened ,like most people ,then seen it was mostly just crap and stuff about her(more crap)I dont even want to give her 0.002 cents or how ever much she gets from each visit.

Jacqueline said...

I agree with Helena...Tila she is a stupid meglomaniac!

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