Wednesday, May 19
OMG a million views!
8:38 PM | 
Posted by
Eduardo Retardo
Soooo...today (or maybe it was last night. I don't give a fuck) Tila posted in her Dear Diary section about how OMG AWESOME it is to be a gossip blogger. And about how she's not jealous of the people she talks about (hahahahaha no really, she said that). And about how she's actually friends with lots of the people she talks about. Wanna read it? Here you go:
Way to reuse that I <3 a Hater image. But seriously, Tila, for fuck's sake. Listen, sweetie. That code you use on your website? Yeah, it's not a secret. ANYBODY CAN VIEW IT. And anybody can see that you use THE FREE site meter to track your hits.
So you don't want us to use Alexa now? Because you did earlier...
So now suddenly that's not okay? Okay Tila, Uncle Eddie will play your little crackhead game. Let's use what you use! Anybody is welcome to go here and view these results, but I'll cap them and post them here just to make it easy for everybody. In case that link doesn't take you to the graph, you have to click "previous 7 days" under "visits" on the left side.
Cute how it doesn't even COME CLOSE to a million, isn't it? Oh wait, what did she say? That we're just haters and obsessed? So does "haters" mean "one able to look at graphs and perform simple addition?" I guess we better add that to the Slutinese dictionary. We're acting High School? No, sweetie, it's just that we can perform High School level math. That's all.
Here it is, as an amusing De-motivational Poster made by @MissTilaOMG on twitter.
Oh and how about Dethroning Perez? Here it is, again via Sitemeter:
Oh wow, so he's #1 huh? Ouch. Tila isn't even top 20.
And just for fun, let's laugh at Tila's math skills:
See? 2+2 = 80. There's your proof right there. And let me tell you something. Uncle Eddie sucks ass at math. SUCKS ASS. But even I can tell you what 10% of something is. That's probably the easiest percentage to figure out. Goddamn. When Uncle Eddie can school you at math, there's a problem.
Goddammit Tila, you suck. You really, really suck. AT EVERYTHING. Every single thing you set you mind to turns to shit. BECAUSE YOU SUCK.
Maybe if you weren't so busy trying to fuck your teachers in high school you'd know how to do basic math? And really, aren't Asians supposed to be good at math? YOU'RE LETTING YOUR PEOPLE DOWN, TILA.
Update
Tila responds to this post:
LOL. Use any excuse you want, Tila, but you haven't even come close to dethroning Perez or ANYBODY ELSE. You're a fucking joke and you know it. And you're right, I'm just jealous. So very, very jealous. (hint: that's sarcasm, dumbass)
Don't you have another pathetic letter to write to Lindsay Lohan now? I'm sure she'll take time out of her schedule at Cannes, her court appointed classes, and movie filming to read it, just like she did the last one. OH THAT'S RIGHT, SHE IGNORED YOUR ASS. Just like most of Hollywood does, unless they're making fun of you.
Labels:
alexa search,
blog statistics,
fail blog,
math,
miss tila,
perez hilton,
sitemeter,
tila tequila
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29 comments:
She is such an idiot. The comment about trying to fuck her teachers was priceless.
I saw this interview with her and is honestly one of the funniest things I have ever read:
http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/2010/05/inside-the-lyricists-studio-with-tila-tequila
Pffft. Math shmath. Queen of the goblins is magikal and can make teh numberz say whutever she wants. Bow down Uncle Eddie, bow down before she waves her crack pipe and you end up with a pair of size 68FFFF wonky tits of your very own.
Its so funny how she says she "ignores" us haters. Yet she reads the rotspot and heads back to twitter or her fail blog to bitch LOL Nothing like making it obvious!
She's so imprtant, that she comes to the RotSpot 36 times a day.
HI TILA.
I love how she makes grandoise claims regarding the number of hits that shitty blog of hers gets, then when you guys reveal the truth she just shifts the goalposts!
Now she's on her rant that she's doing better than all the other sites did when they started out! LMFAO!
Well, considering she calls herself a "celebrity" - although I would say its more that she has a name and image that is associated with a certain notoriety - and she promoted the hell out of her site, I would have expected her to do a whole lot better than sites who were run by people who were less well known.
The bottom line is her blog is tanking, she is never going to de-throne Perez and if the recent reports on Perez's buyout offer are true, she is still going to remain to him less than an insignificant buzzing fly.
Imo, the blog is badly written, the news old and the high content of her desperate self promotion makes the blog unreadable. But that's even before I mention the use of The Onion's articles as the truth! PMSL!
Keep up the good stuff guys! I love my daily dose of Rotspot!
I think its funny how she says she ignores her haters. Yet she reads what is on this blog and then runs to twitter or her fail blog to bitch about it. It is amazing how stupid she is and how obvious she makes it that WE DO BOTHER HER AND ARE GETTING TO HER!!! Maybe she is "jellis" of all of us, she just can't stay away LOL
haha and she totally wrote another letter to lindsay too! i screencapped it but i'm a retard and don't know how to send it to you.
To use one of Tila's favourite phrases, I was LMFAO reading that post from her - it was like reading something Fatty wrote!
The thing Tila (Hi Tila! You suck.) is failing to take into consideration is those other sites grew in site hits day by day when starting out. Not had one good(ish) day due to massive publicity and curiosity and then dropped lower and lower every day after.
And if she seriously trying to take credit for OMG and LOL?
Woops I posted twice, didn't know if it went through the first time he he he
She can't stop coming here. She's as obsessed with "haters" as she claims "haters" are obsessed with her.
I love how she's presenting herself in her new letter to Lindsay as an example of sobriety and success. Taking advice from this mess would be like throwing an anvil to a drowning woman.
"Quit drinking, Lindsay! Do like me and mix sleep medication with Red Bull! It's soooooo much better for you!"
I knew when she said she made seven figures on Fox that she's a little confused about how many zeros a million has. (I laughed when the guy asked if she made seven figures and she hesitated just for a split second - you KNEW she was counting on her fingers under the table LOL). That's 6 zeros, Tila. And they all have to come IN FRONT of the little period (that's called a decimal point). See? 1,000,000.00. That's a million. This isn't: 10,000.00. I think it's time for her to move on to a new personal tragedy / career move to divert attention from the fact that her world-changing blog is swirling down the toilet. Ooooh! Can't wait!
on a side note - the "fan" art pictures are hysterical!
You know what the funniest part is? Look at the time period of her BIG GIGANTIC SUPER FANTASTIC WORLDWIDE PRESS TOUR to promote her lame ass blog. There are basically no hits on those days and those following them. Just as I said, here equally lame pr agency booked her on completely untargeted press whose audiences couldn't even give a enough of a shit to even try to look for her blog. POW!!!!!
Love this blog - and yes, I read it as soon as I log in, every single morning.
Sorry Tila, your blog freaken sucks.
As a matter of fact, I don't even read it. I read this one, which tells me all I need to know.
POW, baby!!!
Just out of curiosity, why on earth does the link for her sitemeter include "tile"tequilaOMG?!
Is this..
A) Tila's attempt at 'hiding' her sitemeter;
B) Tila forgetting how to spell her own moniker; or
C) Tila referencing the flat, tile-like appearance of her face?
P.S Love me some rotspot - especially with several updates a day of late! THX GUYS XXXXX
I seriously want to slap her. She irritates the hell outta me!!! Why does she keep calling Perez, Piggy?? Has she not seen what he looks like lately?
ps: how did you guys find out what site-meter she uses? like, where's it hidden?
G'DAMN IT, you guys! we need to stop visiting her site, even out of curiosity or to laugh at the amount of fail.
we're giving her hits. somebody needs to screencap the good stuff on there (you know, like "take one for the team") and post it somewhere so that she's not making money off of us.
@TilaTruth - I can't speak for the RotSpot team, but I have AdBlock installed on my computer at home. I have it set up to effectively block any tracker code it "sees" so that my IP isn't picked up by it. But it will list the trackers it finds. So I, personally, can see that she's got a sitemeter tracker, even if it's hidden.
If you're interested, the instructions for blocking trackers are here:
http://geekdrop.com/content/how-to-block-trackers
I love you guys, I really really do. This site is like my crack, I get all giggly when you post an update. It's better than christmas. Keep up the super awesome amazing work! <3
thanks for the explanation, lisa!
Aww poor slag. It must suck to think you are really smart, famous, hot, talented and wealthy when you the exact opposite of those things. It must suck even more to fail at everything you do except being a whore. I sort of feel bad for her.
Wait...no I don't. I don't feel even the tiniest bit of pity for her.
I LOVE that she says the haters are jealous. Hmmm let me think for a moment....nope.
I have all the things that Tila seems to desperately want or to prove she has. A house, wealth, a husband, a baby on the way, friends and family who I love and love me, I get to go to parties where there are people that Tila could only dream of knowing and not red carpet sponsored events but private parties at their homes(BTW Tila, it is not hard to go to a "red carpet" party. It's not like your walking the carpet at the Oscars.)
Calling herself a celebrity is like me calling myself purple, we both obviously aren't.
What she still doesn't seem to realise that her childish game of lies and changing what she meant after the fact is biting her in the ass again and again and will continue to do so. She claimed she changed her name to "Miss Tila" because she was more mature now and a "mogul" so how about doing the mature mogul thing and admitting you fucked up and lied for the attention? Or that you desperately need help for whatever mental illnesses or addictions. That is what a real mature woman would do, not continue to make up more lies and talk constantly about how awesome she is. Because no one who talks about how awesome they are is ever actually awesome. Attractive people never have to constantly say they are attractive and wealthy people never have to talk about their wealth and celebrities never have to say they are celebrities. And none of those people ever have to lie to make themselves seem like they are bigger than they are.
TilasEGP@gmail.com
That's the gmail for Tila's now extinct Elite Guerrilla Posse, her name was Guerrilla Skrilla,
http://www.tilashotspot.buzznet.com/web/tila/users/guerillaskrilla/
http://www.tilashotspot.buzznet.com/web/tila/photos/guerillaskrilla/?id=24720191
And here's the blog:
http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm170/myspacemorphs2/guerillaskrilla.png
I'm still not a liar, Thien, so STFU n00b kthanxbai
I just can't think of any more ways to say that Tila is a pathetic failure - her fail hurts my brain. She knows what her hits are, how miserable must it be to feel the need to inflate the numbers when she knows anyone can look it up. It must be a cold and lonely place inside her world.
And she's a whore.
She needs to just give up and find something else to work on - like her Farkle score on Facebook. I hear it's catchy.
This site cubestat.com was really accurate for my website when I run ads on it.
http://www.cubestat.com/www.misstilaomg.com
The pictures of her at the MAXIM event that are popping up everywhere are fuckin' terrifying. How can ANYONE look at those and think she looks even marginally okay?
I've seen heroin addicts at death's door who look healthier than that, no lie. And her 3 or 4 fans are all, "OMG Tila u such a sexy MILF hehehe."
They're either as high as she is, or completely retarded.
Hey Eddie, Gnome, Fatty. I really hate to bring this to your attention, because I am in NO way a Tila fan (wish she would shrivel up in a hole somewhere), but if you go to those alexa sites etc, and type in MissTilaomg.com the results you get are A LOT different than if you type tilatequilaomg.com . Like I said, I'm no fan of that ugly waste of space skanky slut, just wondering whether you guys realise this?
Thanks for a fantastic blog, I visit daily, LOVE IT.